Chapter Three
For a few precious seconds, June allowed herself to be transported back ten years ago, where life was simple. There were times she missed her old life—the dreams she’d had, the fantasies. Every second she had been with Killian ten years ago, she felt like she’d found her soul mate. It had all been a lie. Nothing had been true, so she pulled away from the kiss, shoving him hard in the process.
“I’m going home, and I’m going to figure out the mess that you’ve gotten me into. I don’t know who you are.” Before she even made it a couple of steps, he grabbed her arms and hauled her into his car. Within seconds he had her strapped in and the car door locked. When she pulled on the handle, it wouldn’t budge. The child lock had been put on. Her day was going from bad to worse. “Let me go.”
“You seem to think that I give a fuck what you want right now,” Killian said, climbing behind the wheel. “Newsflash, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not disappearing, and I sure as shit am not walking away again. I did that once, and it was a fucking nightmare. I’m not going to do it again.”
She shook her head, and stared out of the window. This was not what she wanted to do.
“Take me home. I mean it, Killian. If I’m not working then I want to be with him.”
“We need to talk.”
“We can talk at my house. I’ll even make you a coffee. How’s that? Do you think that’s reasonable?” She didn’t like how bitchy she sounded, but the truth was, she didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to run, jump into his arms and pretend the last ten years hadn’t happened. That she didn’t find out he was nothing like he had said. Everything he’d told her had been nothing but lies. She couldn’t pretend. Her life wouldn’t let her. Her son wouldn’t let her.
The time for fairytales ended a long time ago.
“You’re not going to call the cops on me? Try and cause me a few problems?” he asked.
“Are you a wanted man?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “No, baby. I’m not a wanted man.”
“Stop calling me baby. I’m no one’s baby.”
“No, you’re someone’s mom.”
“I’m our son’s mom,” she said. This was just too much for her. “Please, take me home.”
“Fine. I’ll take you home, but you can’t get rid of me. You don’t like it, and I get it, but we do have to talk.”
She watched the dark scenery go by. “You know I’ve thought about this moment a lot. At first when I found out I was pregnant, I figured you’d come back, and I’d tell you. Everything would be fine.”
“I never came back.”
“You never came back, and then I couldn’t leave. There’s a lot of seasonal work here. Killian, our son, he loves the ocean, or he did.”
“I read pretty hard shit about him.”
She stared at him, waiting for more.
“Been caught by the cops for some petty crap,” Killian said.
“I don’t know how you’ve got that information, but I don’t like it. It’s nothing. Just some trouble that he’s getting into. He’s at that age, acting out.” She ran fingers through her hair. This was a topic she hated more than anything.
The first time two cops had come to her door as they’d held Killian by the scruff of his neck. Since then she’d had a social worker involved, the school, pretty much anyone who wanted to take Killian away, had been in touch.
She loved her son more than anything else in the world, and she couldn’t, wouldn’t live without him.
Killian parked outside of her apartment block, and she felt his judgment coming off him in waves.
“I still can’t believe your parents didn’t help you out.”
“To them I was nothing more than a whore. I ruined myself by being with you. No scholarship, no family, and I was alone. All I had was that little boy. This is the best I can afford. I’m working all the hours I can to get us better. I’m trying.” She opened the car door, and began to walk away from him. She didn’t like how he made her feel.
She needed to pay Melissa and to stop thinking about another lifetime. This man wasn’t the sweet guy she had once known. She’d just watched him shoot men in front of her very eyes. From what she’d heard they were very dangerous men, and yet Killian had killed them with ease. No way were those warning shots. She’d seen the blood and carnage with her own eyes.
Her gut was telling her that she wasn’t going to like hearing the truth about him. They were no longer in a fairytale but in sobering real life.
Killian didn’t let her get far before he grabbed her arm and spun her around. “That boy needs his father, June.”
She couldn’t cry. Refused to cry. “I’ve been everything for my son. I’m doing my best, Killian. Do you even know what it’s like to be a single mother? To have to put your kid into the care of neighbors while you work?”
“I know more about it than you can even imagine.”
“Yeah, right.” She made to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her.
“My mother was a whore,” he said, suddenly.
Looking into his eyes, she didn’t know if that was the truth. Or if he was being an asshole. “You told me your parents were self-employed back in Ireland.”
“They never were. My mother sold her body to every single man that would take her. She had a pimp. I didn’t have a clue who my father was, still don’t.”
Tears filled her eyes. “You think this makes me feel better? You lied to me. Everything you told me back then was nothing but lies. How do I even know what’s real or not?”
Killian pulled her close, cupping her cheek. “My feelings for you, that’s what was real. Every single feeling that we had together, that was all real.”
Damn it!
It would be so easy to fall into his embrace. To forget the damage of the past few years, but she couldn’t do it.
“I don’t even know you.” She pulled away. “I don’t know anything about you. What you do? Why you were here ten years ago? Why you never looked back? I waited for you, you know. I’d go to the beach every single day, getting bigger and bigger, and yet you still didn’t come back.”
“I had no idea you were pregnant, June. I swear to you, I would have come back.” She snorted at that. “I left because I didn’t for a second believe that I was good enough for you. Still don’t. You’re right. I’ve got a lot of secrets. I don’t talk about myself, and to be honest, I never wanted to. I’ve never had the proud parents, or the perfect life. No one’s waiting for me when I go home. There’s nothing for me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” She began walking back to her apartment. There were so many questions. So much confusion. She wanted to tell him to fuck off and to stay at the same time. Everything was all muddled in her head.
June wasn’t a naïve virgin anymore, loving the attention of this sexy man who noticed her.
Twenty-eight years old, single, with a child, tired all the time, and watching her son grow up, knowing she didn’t spend enough time with him—that was the life she had, and she hated it.
This was never her plan. Her future had been bright, but that seemed like a lifetime ago.
Entering her apartment, she saw Melissa sitting on the sofa. She was reading from her textbook, which she immediately began putting away the moment she saw her.
“Hey, June. You’re back early.”
“Sorry. Something came up, but I’m home now. How has he been?”
“Really good. He went to the toilet earlier, and straight back to bed. Everything was fine.”
“Excellent, thank you, sweetie.”
She paid Melissa, and waited for her to leave the apartment.
“You have people babysit him? He’s ten,” Killian said.
“Still too young to be left alone, and he gets into way too much trouble without even trying.” She took a breath. “I’ll go and check on him. If you want to put the kettle on, we can talk.”
She didn’t give him the chance to argue as she made her way toward the room she shared with Killian. Opening the door slightly, she glanced over, and frowned. Flicking the light on, she moved toward him, and there where her son should be was a damn pillow.
This was not the first time he’d done this. And each time was as scary as the first.
Leaving the room, she looked over at Killian senior.
“He’s gone!” She rushed toward the door.
“What do you mean he’s gone?”
“He’s not in his bed. He’s done this several times. I’ve got to go and look for him.”
“I’m coming, too.”
They left the apartment, and she made sure to lock the door. She didn’t pretend to live in a good area. Running down the staircase, they exited the building
“It’ll be faster if we split up. He normally wears this jacket with a hood on. Please, find him.” She didn’t want to hear anything else. She had to find her son.
****
Nothing was going according to plan. It was one fuck up after another, and Killian was getting pissed off. Every second he spent with June was just another pain in his heart because he’d left her and caused this mess. Everything he’d done was with the intention to help her, and yet it had been totally the opposite, and he was so fucking angry about that.
He had a son.
A little boy.
Never for a second could he have imagined being a daddy. Well, he had thought about it before Killer of Kings became part of his life. He’d vowed to be a better father than his own. To always be there, to provide, to love, to nurture. Instead, he’d knocked her up, and abandoned her. She had been fighting every single day.
Maurice had sent him all the details about June Harris. All of the jobs she’d had, the time sheets she’d done. That woman had done nothing but work for the past ten years.
His cell phone started to ring, and he glanced down to see it was Boss. Since calling Maurice, Killian had kept his cell phone on. His intention had been to get away from the damn job, but now Boss was calling, and he had no choice but to answer.
“What?”
“Is that anyway to talk to your boss?”
He rolled his eyes as Boss began to chuckle. “What do you want?”
“I thought you needed some time away.”
“I did. Look, I don’t have time for this shit, Boss. I need to go.”
“Well, you see, I’ve got a bit of a problem here.”
“Why?” Killian asked.
“Because a hit has just gone live on June and Killian Harris. Now you see my confusion.” Killian paused. Boss had his attention. “Now at first I thought that hit was for you. Killian and all. But it just so happens that the details I have on my desk are for a twenty-eight-year-old woman, and a ten-year-old boy. Then I talk to Maurice, and he had the same request for information from you. What the hell is going on here, Killian?”
“Why the hit?” Killian asked.
“Why the hit indeed. It’s because of you. Someone must be watching you, or waiting.”
“Find out who took the hit. Boss, don’t put anyone onto this, please.” Boss never could turn down money. “That’s my kid. I’ve only just found him, and she’s my girl. I just … I fucked up. I need time to fix this.”
Silence fell.
“Killian, I know I’m a monster, or at least a lot of people believe I’m a monster. I have my reasons for doing what I do.”
“And no one else fucking gets that.”
Boss had a lot of secrets. He wasn’t an easy man to please. In fact, he was downright difficult at times.
“It’s my kid, and I fucked up. As a favor to me. You owe me, Boss.”
“Again, I had no intention of taking this hit, Killian. Until I find out who ordered this contract, she’s in danger. I suggest you find them. This kill went live an hour ago.”
Killian paused. Was it because of the men he tried to make an example of?
Either way, he didn’t know what to fucking do. Disconnecting the call, his heart was racing. What the fuck had he done?
This was becoming one clusterfuck after another.
He picked up the pace, walking down a long street, and then heading toward the pier where he’d first met the kid. Little Killian was there, hands in his pockets, looking out at the ocean.
“You know your mom is having the fright of her life right now?” He wasn’t doing too well either.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“She’s always working. Always away. Each job she gets that has decent pay, never lasts. Nothing ever lasts,” Killian said.
Gone was the British accent, and the cocky attitude. There before him was his son. From what he’d just said, the kid missed his mom. He was hurting.
Killian stared out at the view. There was a kill out on this kid, and his woman. He’d totally fucked up.
“Your mother does everything she does because she has to.”
“I know she does. She’s always tired, and I don’t care that she thinks she’s a superhero. They don’t exist. Nothing exists but work and bills. She wants me to go to school, get my education, and go to college. Only rich kids get to do that. Not someone like me. I want to make her proud, but I don’t have it in me to do that.”
“Your mom is worried about you. You weren’t in your bed.”
“She came home?” Killian Junior asked.
“She came home, and she went to check on you, and began to panic.”
“Crap. I was going to make it back home. I told her I wouldn’t do this again. I just … ugh. I wanted her to stay at home. I don’t get to see her anymore. I don’t care about Christmas gifts. I know there’s no Santa! I just want her home. It’s what I told that social worker lady that came to my school. The lady warned me that I’m getting into a lot of trouble, and if I want to leave my mom, then it will only be a matter of time before I’m taken away. I don’t want to leave my mom. I love her.”
This kid reminded him so much of himself it was unreal.
Already his past was starting to come back full circle. A mother that worked all the time. A lost boy. June didn’t sell her body, so at least his own son didn’t have to see the beatings that the johns gave.
“Your mom is going to be spending a lot of time with you from now on.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m going to be taking care of the both of you. You’ll get to spend every single second with her, and no one will be taking her away from you.”
Killian Junior stared at him. “How do you know my mom?”
“I know her from the past.”
“Yeah, but when? I talked to my mom, and she said you were from a long time ago.”
“I am.” His son was staring at him, assessing him. It was so surreal to know that he helped create this little boy.
“How long?”
“Roughly ten years ago and a few extra months.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m your father, Killian. We even share the same name.”
“We do? Your name’s Killian as well?”
“Yes. My name is Killian. You mother named you after me.”
“Well, where the fuck have you been?” Killian Junior asked. “I’ve been waiting for you since I was five years old.”
“Why five?” he asked.
“I asked for you on the wish of my birthday cake. Those are supposed to come true, and you never came. You never turned up to help my mom, you asshole.”
“Watch your damn language.”
“You don’t deserve my mom, and she should get rid of you.” Killian Junior stormed away from him, and this was not how he expected this to go either.
“I didn’t know about you,” he said, taking hold of his son’s arm. “I know that doesn’t give me the right to demand a second chance, but I’m asking for it.” He was trying to reason with a ten year old. At ten years old, there was no reasoning for him, and now he was fucking everything up. “I didn’t have a dad either, and no one came back to claim me. I want you and your mother. I want to get to know you and to hear everything I’ve missed. Your first day of school. Maybe the first time you tasted chocolate. I want to know every single thing about you. What’s your favorite color? What do you want to be when you grow up? What is the worst thing you’ve done that you’ve been caught for?”
His son looked down at the ground.
“I want to know everything about you, Killian.”
“A lot of the crap they say I did was lies. There was a guy on the force who wanted to date my mom. Told him he didn’t have a chance with my mom. He didn’t like that I was there. I’m only extra baggage.”
Killian didn’t like the jealousy that rushed over him at the thought of anyone else liking his woman. She belonged to him, and only him.
“You’re going to need to watch your language. I bet your mother doesn’t like hearing you swear?”
“She doesn’t, but I have to look out for her. If my mom hadn’t overheard that cop telling me I was a waste of space and ruined my mother’s life, she might have dated him, and that guy didn’t deserve her. You don’t deserve her either. You’re never going to be good enough for my mom.”
And that was the truth. Killian didn’t deserve June ten years ago, and he sure as shit didn’t deserve her now.
“I know, but I want to make myself worthy in your eyes, and in your mom’s eyes. Do you think you’ll give me that chance?” he asked.
His son pursed his lips, and then shrugged. “We’ll see. Can’t be any worse than what we’ve already had.”
“Killian!” June shouted.
They both turned to see June had spotted them. She was rushing toward them, and he smiled. It didn’t matter that ten years had passed. He still loved this woman just as strongly as he had back then, if not stronger.
Holding Killian’s hand, he began to walk toward her, and then stopped at the unmistakable sounds of wheels braking. Spinning around, he watched as the black SUV’s door opened, and there was a man with a gun. Pulling his son behind him, he watched in horror as the gun was aimed toward June.
There was nothing he could do. One lone shot rang out, and June fell down. Grabbing one of his guns, he pointed it toward the car, and began firing.
The SUV was gone before he landed a single bullet.
June was on the ground, and his son held him tightly. He’d brought his darkness back to the birthplace of his sweetest memories.
What had he done?