I hate myself for walking away from her. She looked so disappointed, but she’d be even more disappointed if she learned what kind of man I really am. A criminal. A man running from my past; An accomplice to murder.

It torments me, the things I’ve done. And I won’t bring someone so innocent into my fray.

“What’s your problem?” Virginia asks from the couch where she’s nestled under a blanket, rereading a novel. “You’re a mess.” Her eyes lift from the page, I see they are rimmed in red. She’s been crying again. A lot.

“I’m a mess?” I ask running a hand over my beard. “You’re the one who hasn’t left that couch in days.”

She closes her book and rolls to her side as if the conversation exhausts her. “I showered yesterday.”

I sigh, knowing that is a major accomplishment for her right now. “I’m telling you if you just got outside and had some fresh air--”

She cuts me off. “Stop. I’m not ready.”

“You won’t get better like this.” I look around our cabin. I’ve kept the groceries stocked, the place clean, the laundry done. She keeps the blinds close, the lights low. She cries all day, watches old movies all night. I know she is struggling with coming to terms with our new life and I hate not knowing how to help her.

“I’m not like you, Bear. I can’t stop thinking about Laila and what Ricky might do... about the Badlands. I can’t erase the memories.”

“Laila is fine, what I’m worried about is you,” I tell her. Do you need to see a counselor or something? Because calling Laila isn’t an option, Ginny.”

Virginia twists her long blonde hair into a bun on the top of her head, keeping quiet as she contemplates my words. “She’s my best friend... and we just left her.” She sighs, pulling the blanket back around herself, tears welling up in her eyes. “We should have moved to a big city. Somewhere where I could get lost.”

“I’m done being lost. I’m ready to be found.”

She gives a sharp, sad laugh. “Found, out here? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“There are people here. I go to Eagle Crest for groceries. The closest town is only about five miles away. And besides the supermarket, there is new construction finishing up for a small outdoor mall. It’s not so bad. And there is a school in town, you could be a lunch lady or something.”

“I don’t want to get a job. I can’t be responsible for anything or anyone. Hell, I can hardly take care of myself right now.”

“I know.” I exhale, knowing Virginia isn’t the type of girl you can push too hard. I wish she were more resilient, but she just hasn’t found her strength yet.

“So where are you off to anyway?” she asks. “Eagle Crest?”

“If I were, would you come along?”

“No way.”

I nod; I’d assumed she’d say that. “I’m just going for a long walk. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

I leave the cabin, and my mind is already thinking about her. About the other morning when I carried the empty basket belonging to the woman from the woods to her doorstep.

I had followed the path she’d taken, and it led me to a cottage among the trees. One right from the pages of a storybook. White picket fence, flower baskets under each window. A sloping roof and a tiny second story window that was stained glass. There was a vegetable garden and a clothesline. Potted plants on the doorsteps and a picnic table under a blossoming cherry tree.

I’ve never had a real home, but if I were to ever dream one up, it would be just like hers. That cottage is where memories could be made, where a real-life could be created.

The cabin I’m sharing with my sister seems so cold in comparison, but what do I expect? Virginia and I had been with the Badlands since we ran away as kids. I’m twenty-six now, and she’s twenty-one; both of us, though, spent a decade on the backs of motorcycles and in dive bars.

Never once did we spend a night in a place that could be called a home.

It makes me feel even less worthy of that woman’s affection. I hate that I took her virginity. Even more so, now that I’ve seen what a beautiful life she already has.

Yet, holding her in my arms was more perfect than anything else in this world. Her body against mine felt complete, felt right. For that sliver of time, it was as if life made sense. With her hands on my chest, there was no question of where I belonged.

Then the harsh reality hit me when she asked my name.

I can never get close to her because I don’t want to feed her lies... and if she knew the truth-- that I’m a man on the run--she would know that I’m not worth her heart.

And with the Badlands MC after Virginia, I know we need to keep our heads down more than anything else.

Swearing at myself for being such a fucking mess, I cut through the woods. I look longingly past the creek, beyond the thicket, and catch the faintest glimpse of her stone chimney between the trees.

Knowing that I shouldn’t be staring so longingly at what isn’t mine, I head to the left and blaze a new trail through the mountain trees, heading off my property and onto the land that is the state park.

It doesn’t take long before I find myself at a fork in the trail, the highway in full view down below. I could either keep going left into the woods or wind my way to the base of the trail where there is a small pull-off point, where some cars are parked down below.

I pause, taking a breath as I decide where I want to head next. My stomach is growling and I’m dying for a freshly cooked meal. God knows, the cabin doesn’t have anything besides cans of soup and boxes of macaroni. But the thought of hiking into town and eating alone at the place I spotted earlier, Rosie’s Diner, is hella depressing.

My grumbling stomach is put on the back burner as I notice a commotion below me. There’s a car on the side of the road and a man and woman are screaming at one another.

Watching them, I want to make sure both of them are okay. I’m not sure they are. Fingers are pointed, and their shouts are echoing off the mountain.

“I never wanted them,” he shouts.

“I never did either. We should have left them at the hospital. I can’t do this!”

“Then what do you wanna do?” he screams.

“I want to get fucked up,” she sobs. “I want to run away forever!”

Their words flare something up inside of me. A protective urge begins to burn. I hate the idea of either of these strangers hurting themselves.

They look strung out and high, panicked, and scared, and while my phone doesn’t get reception here, I immediately take a photo of their license plate. I’m not sure why. It’s not like I’m interested in going to the authorities. Right now, my main objective in life is to keep my head down and stay off anyone’s radar.

But they are shouting louder and louder, and when they each rip open the back doors of the car, leaning into the vehicle, I get even more concerned.

“What are we gonna do?” he asks, his voice desperate.

“We can’t be caught with them. We have all that shit in the car and we’re fucking high out of our minds. We’ve just gotta go!”

I begin moving down the mountain, doing my best not to fall. I don’t know these people, but it’s obvious they need help. “Hey,” I shout. “You okay?”

They turn their faces toward the mountain, towards me, their eyes wild and manic.

“Shit,” she screams, pulling something from the car. “Leave them here. That guy will get ‘em. They’ll be better off without us.”

“You sure?” he asks. Now I’m only a dozen yards away. I run faster, trying to catch up to them.

“I’m sure. Just drop them and go.” They drop what they’re carrying and head to the front of the car without looking back. I can’t see what was in their hands, the trees are blocking my view.

“Hey, wait!” I shout, barreling down as fast as I can. But before I can reach them, they are speeding off down the empty highway, not turning back. Not even once.

I’m short of breath as I reach the pull off. The exhaust from their rickety old car billows as they rip away onto the road. I run a hand over my beard, wondering what just happened -- but then a cry echoes in the hollows of my heart.

The cry of a baby.

I jog closer and see, behind a tree, two infant car seats are left alone in the parking lot.

My blood pumps as the shock of what I just witnessed rolls over me. I kneel down before the car seats and see two identical infants buckled up--thank God--and a diaper bag tossed beside them.

My throat goes dry as I look at the crying babies, all alone in the world, left behind on the side of the road. Tears prick my eyes and I may be a man with a rough past, but the reality of what is before me breaks my fucking heart.

They are tiny, I have no clue how old they might be, but they are howling something fierce.

What if I hadn’t come when I did?

I can’t think about that.

“Shhh, hey there little guy,” I whisper, not knowing, actually if they’re boys or girls. They are in white onesies with thick, black hair, and big, dark brown eyes. Tucked in their car seats I find pacifiers and I gingerly press them into their crying mouths.

They instantly begin to suckle, and I exhale, just now realizing I’ve been holding my breath.

I don’t have a working phone on me and I’m miles from town. I don’t even know where I’d take these two abandoned children? The fire department? Bringing these babies to the cabin would freak out my sister; she couldn’t handle the police showing up and questioning me. Anyway, she’d have a goddamn meltdown.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I promise them, a plan formulating in my mind.

I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder and lift a car seat with each of my hands.

Thinking fast, I realize there is only one person who will know what to do with these twins.

I hike up the trail, praying these innocent babies will be safe.