© Copyright 2017 Micalea Smeltzer
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidenta l .
Cover Design: Cover Couture
“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane snow is glistening.”
I smiled as I walked past the carolers singing. Living in a small town had its perks now and then.
My book dug into my arm as I adjusted my scarf so it covered more of my face. Up here in Maine it was freezing with a good foot of snow already on the ground with Christmas a week away. I grew up mostly in Florida until I was about twelve and my dad got a transfer to here. But even with eight years to acclimate myself, I still hadn’t quite adjusted to the frigid cold.
Often, in the winter months, I found myself dreaming of palm trees and sandy beaches.
I always woke up in the end and that sucked the most.
I was only a block from my parent’s house when I hit the ice.
A scream tore out of my throat as I slid, my arms flailing. You’d think by now I’d be used to the slippery conditions, but no.
“Whoa there,” a warm husky voice sounded behind me.
I started.
That voice.
It couldn’t be.
No.
Once I was steady and had taken a breath, I turned around.
Sure enough, there he stood.
“Dylan.” My voice quavered.
I hadn’t seen Dylan Carmichael since the year he’d graduated high school—two years before me.
He’d filled out more since I last saw him, even with his bulky coat I could see the outline of thick-corded muscle, his cheeks were thick with scruff where they’d once been bare, and his hair fell messily over his forehead. His warm brown eyes were looking at me with surprise, and maybe a little desire—but I might’ve been imagining it.
“Penny,” he replied, his eyes gliding over me from head to toe.
I shivered and instantly cursed myself.
He was the one man who had ever had this affect on me and he left.
“What are you doing here?” My voice was soft and wispy.
“Home for the holidays.”
“Oh.” I shook my head. “Right.”
But my best friend, Liz, his sister, hadn’t told me he was coming back. It wasn’t like her to leave this kind of news out. Not since he’d left for NYU and never looked back. It’d been a sore subject with her parents and even her. They’d been so proud of him for getting in and pursuing a degree in film, but when he never came back … well that didn’t go over well for many different reasons.
“Well … um.” I stepped away awkwardly. “I guess I’ll be seeing you then.”
My cheeks heated as I realized how monumental him being home actually was and what it meant for me.
My stomach rolled.
He nodded and as I turned and continued up the street I felt his eyes on me.
I reached my parents house and opened the unlocked front door.
I heard everyone in the kitchen and headed that way with a smile on my face.
My parents were making gingerbread cookies with my daughter Mya who sat on Liz’s lap.
“Mommy!” Mya cried, and dashed into my arms, knocking the book out of my hands where it clattered to the floor.
I grabbed her and hugged her close.
“Hey, baby girl.” I kissed her cheek and brushed her dark hair off her forehead looking into her brown eyes. She rubbed her nose against mine and smiled.
“We’re making gingerbread cookies. You wanna help?”
“Of course.”
She took my hand and led me to the table, pulling out an empty chair for me.
“Thanks, sweetie.” I lifted her up into my lap.
“I know it’s cold out,” my dad began, “but you look awfully red-faced.”
I frowned and grabbed a cookie and some icing. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dylan was a sore topic around here.
Mya began decorating her own cookie and then spread icing on her finger, poking my nose.
“What was that for?” I asked her and she giggled.
“You look mad. I want you to smile.”
“I’m sorry. Is this better?” I smiled for her and she nodded.
If there was one thing in this world that could make me smile when I was having a bad day it was Mya.
“You’re still coming for dinner on Christmas Eve?” my mom asked.
Her gray hair was cut short, and there were wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but she was still beautiful. She wore one of those ugly Christmas sweaters she always insisted the whole family wore on Christmas day—but she wore them all month, so at least we escaped that wrath.
“Yeah, of course. We’re here every year,” I laughed.
“Your brothers are coming in tomorrow,” she reminded me. “Will you pick them up from the airport? I can’t now, Sherry next door—her husband just died, you know—asked me to go Christmas tree shopping with her and I couldn’t say no.”
“Uh, what time?”
“One o’ clock.”
“Yeah, I’m closing the store early tomorrow. Mya and I are going ice-skating. So we can get them.” I tickled her side and she giggled.
After I graduated high school with a two-year-old, college wasn’t an option for me, so I took over managing our family’s bookstore. It wasn’t what I’d once dreamed for my life, but dreams change. I was happy here, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
“I’m sure they’ll be excited to see Mya.”
My twin older brothers had moved back to Florida after they graduated, but still managed to visit every Christmas and for a week in the summer. I missed them so much, but I knew they were happier there.
“Are you excited to see Uncle Corey and Cramer?” I asked Mya.
She lit up. “Yes! They always bring me presents.”
I shook my head. “You know life isn’t all about presents, right?”
She giggled. “Of course, mommy, but presents are fun.”
My parents laughed.
Getting pregnant at sixteen definitely hadn’t been planned but I was lucky to have parents who cared so much. They stood by me the whole way and loved Mya like she was their own. It made being away from her when I was working easier, knowing she was here with them.
An hour passed with us decorating Christmas cookies before I finally stood with a sleepy Mya wrapped around me like a sloth.
“I need to get this one to bed.”
“Here, let me get you some leftovers.” My mom jumped up from the table. “I know you’ll get home and forget to eat.”
She was right. There were too many nights I went to sleep on an empty stomach. I was so busy though that there was little time to think of food.
She grabbed the food and the book and handed it to Liz who was also on her way out.
My car was parked on the street. I often left it there and walked to work, even in the cold. It wasn’t far and I liked the time to clear my head.
I unlocked my car and strapped Mya into her car seat before taking the book and Tupperware from Liz and placing those on the floor of the car.
“I need to talk to you but let me start the car.”
I didn’t want Mya to cold.
Liz nodded and waited by the mailbox for me to return. Holding my coat close to me I let out a breath.
“Why didn’t you tell me Dylan is back?” I blurted out the words like I was ripping off a Band-Aid.
Her mouth dropped. “Dylan’s not back.”
“Uh … yeah he is. He literally saved me from falling on my ass before I got here tonight.”
She shook her head. “This is news to me. Must be to my parents too. They would’ve said something to me.”
I clenched my teeth and looked away down the street, my eyes blinded by all the twinkling lights.
“He doesn’t know about Mya.”
Liz knew this of course.
She pulled a face. “He lost the right to know about her when he left and refused to talk to any of us. He changed his phone number for God’s sake. Like what did any of us ever do to him?” Her face grew redder and redder as she spoke.
I sighed. “I have a good thing going here and I can’t have him ruining this.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Leave it to Dylan to continue to find ways to fuck up my life even now.
“Mya and I have been fine without him for four years. I don’t want him getting any ideas,” I warned Liz threateningly even though she wasn’t the one I’m mad at.
She raised her hands in defense. “I’ll be the first to tell him to fuck off, you know that.”
“I’m sorry.” I pinched my nose. “It’s just … Mya is mine . I don’t want to fight with him if he finds out.”
“It’s a small town,” she whispered softly. “You know someone will tell him.”
I sighed and looked up at the starry night sky, the echoes of carolers several blocks over reaching my ears.
“Yeah, I know.”
I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling.
It was three in the morning and sleep had yet to come.
All I could think about was Dylan being back.
Dylan, who left before I found out I was pregnant, and then basically fell off the face of the planet. I’d been left a teen mom, raising a daughter while trying to finish high school. It’d been the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I succeeded.
I was stubborn like that.
I heard a pounding on the apartment door and sat straight up.
I lived a town over from my parents and it wasn’t quite as safe—especially my apartment complex. They’d begged me to move back in with them, but I liked Mya and I having our own place.
I threw my robe over my nightgown and grabbed the baseball bat from behind my closet door.
Holding it tightly I crept toward the door.
The pounding continued.
“I know you live here, Pen. Open the God damn door.”
Fire ignited in my veins and I threw the door open. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
I stepped outside and eased the door closed behind me.
He looked a mess, his teeth chattering and his hair mused like he’d been running his hands incessantly through it.
“Why are you here?” I repeated. “You have no right to be here.”
“I have every fucking right to be here.”
My stomach dropped.
“Go.” The word bit between my lips.
He shook his head. “I can’t do that.”
“Are you drunk?”
He glared at me. “More fucking sober than I’ve been in my entire life—I assure you.”
I sighed. “Dylan. Can we do this some other time?”
His eyes dropped to my chest and I realized my robe had fallen off my shoulders and my nipples were pebbled against my nightgown.
I made a noise and quickly wrapped the robe around me.
“We’re talking now .” His voice left no room for argument. “But maybe we should do it inside.”
“No,” I bit out. “We can do it here.”
“Always so stubborn,” he muttered. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me we had a kid? A daughter? ”
“Um…” I pretended to think, finger on my chin and hip jutted out. “Maybe because you left, changed your number, and no one could get ahold of you. It wasn’t exactly fun , you know? Finding out I was pregnant, and having to tell my parents and yours. Fuck, Liz didn’t even know about us then. Thankfully she couldn’t even be mad at me because she was too mad at you.”
His nostrils flared. “I wanted a clean slate.”
“I’m glad one of us got that,” I sneered.
“It wasn’t all I thought it’d be.” He rubbed the back of his head, his voice soft.
“Well, goody for you. If that’s all I’ll be going to bed.”
I started to open the door but his hand shot out blocking me.
“I’m back.”
“And?” I prompted.
“That’s my daughter.”
I shook my head roughly. “You lost the right to call her that when you vanished never to be heard from again.”
He continued like I hadn’t spoken.
“And I still love you.”
I snorted. “Fuck you, Dylan. Fuck. You. ”
His eyes dilated. “I’d very much like to fuck you.”
I pushed his chest. “Go away.”
His hands captured mine and my breath stuttered out of me. His hands nearly swallowed mine whole. I suddenly realized how large he was compared to me. He’d always been bigger than me but suddenly he seemed larger than life.
“Let me go.”
He didn’t.
Of course he didn’t.
And if I was honest with myself I liked him touching me. I was seriously disturbed. I was supposed to hate him, he abandoned me, but for some reason I just couldn’t.
“I’m back ,” he growled lowly. “I came back for you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
His eyes bored into mine and I felt myself weakening.
Dylan had always been able to get at me and I hated him for it.
“Stop,” I begged. “I don’t need you.”
He crowded into me until my whole world was made up of him. All I could see, smell, and even taste was him.
“Well I sure as fuck need you.”
His lips descended on mine so fast I didn’t have a chance to blink or even think.
Then, I was kissing him back, my treacherous body melting into him the same way it used to when we were two kids making out in the back of his car.
All those old feelings came rushing back, squashing out the hate I’d built up over the years—reminding me that as much as I thought I hated him, I never had and never could.
He lifted me up, his hands on my ass, and pushed the door open as he carried me inside.
He moaned, his tongue sweeping into my mouth.
In the back of my mind I kept thinking I was going to wake up and find that all of this had been a dream, but then he was finding his way into my room, and laying me on the bed.
He let me go and stood back, staring at me on the bed.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he growled. “Not a day has gone by when I don’t think about you.”
“Then why’d you leave?” I whispered softly, my lips swollen and bruised from his rough kiss.
“I thought I was lost,” he confessed, his eyes flashing in the dark. “But I wasn’t. I’ve found my way back home now, to you, to our daughter. This is where I’ve always belonged. I’m sorry I lost sight of that.”
He removed his scarf and coat and let them fall to the floor.
Leaning down to me on the bed, his face inches from mine, he whispered, “We’re a family and I won’t let you push me away. You’re mine.”
I closed my eyes.
When he first left, this was the moment I dreamed of, but when years passed with no contact I gave up on that silly dream.
But here he was, finally, after all this time, and I didn’t have it in my heart to push him away.
“Yes.” I licked my lips. “Yours.”
His lips tilted into a smirk and he backed away once more, tearing his shirt off over the top of his head and his hands going to his belt. His jeans pooled onto the floor, and his cock strained against his boxer-briefs.
“I’m going to show you exactly how much you’re mine,” he growled and I shivered.
I sat up and he reached for my robe, pushing it off my shoulders.
My heart roared in my ears.
Are you really doing this Penny? Have you absolutely lost your mind?
I must have, but I didn’t find myself caring.
Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t had sex in four years, but I couldn’t seem to find my senses.
I stood up, our chests a breath apart. He towered above me. I felt small, but safe with him closing in around me.
Boldly, I placed my hands on his rock hard stomach and glided them up his chest to his shoulders.
His whole body shuddered.
“It’s been too long,” he whispered into the dark. “Have you … has anyone?” He ventured to ask me.
I shook my head. “No. No one’s ever been you.”
He closed his eyes and a look of pure relief came over him. “Thank fuck for that.”
His fingers found the bottom of my silky nightgown and I lifted my arms so he could raise it over my head. It dropped to the carpeted floor with his coat and shirt.
“Fuck you’re going to kill me.”
His big hands came up to cup my breasts. I worried he wouldn’t like them now, they weren’t as perky and firm as they’d been the last time he saw them, but from the way he was looking at them my worries had been for nothing.
He lowered his head, swirling his tongue around my pebbled nipple.
“Dylan,” I gasped raggedly, clutching at his dark hair.
He moved his mouth to the other breast and gave it the same treatment.
Then his hungry mouth returned to mine. He kissed me like he was trying to brand himself on me, but Dylan Carmichael had been branded on my soul since I was a small child who fell out of a tree house and he rescued me.
He broke the kiss and before he could push me onto the bed again I dropped to my knees.
I grabbed the band of his boxer-briefs and lowered them. His cock sprung free, the head purple and aching with desperate need for release.
He stepped out of them and I grabbed the base of his cock.
“Pen,” he cried in a shaky voice when I lowered my mouth around him.
He was hard and thick, and I couldn’t fit much in my mouth but I did what I could.
I hadn’t sucked him long when he urged me up.
“I’m not coming in your mouth—not tonight.”
I lay down on the bed and he removed my panties. I’d barely taken a breath when he was pushing into me.
“Condom,” I cried in reminder.
He shook his head. “ No . I want you pregnant again as soon as I can. I didn’t get to be there last time, but this time I’m going to get to see you grow round with my child.”
I moaned. His words shouldn’t, but somehow they turned me on.
He pumped into me and my body stretched to accommodate him. It’d been so long since I had sex that it hurt at first, but soon pleasure was the only thing consuming me.
He swirled his tongue around my nipple and then moved on to the other breast and back again.
His hand moved between us, rubbing my clit, and my hips bucked.
“Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. Oh my fucking God ,” I cried as my orgasm hit me.
I felt him pulse inside me, his growls mingling with my screams.
It took us several minutes to recover and when we did we found our way under the sheets and he spooned my body.
It felt as if he’d always been there, and I fell into the deepest, soundest, sleep of my life.
I woke up to the smell of bacon.
At first I was confused, but with a gasp my activities the night before came rushing back at me.
I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before braving my way into the kitchen.
I nearly keeled over at the sight of Dylan making breakfast, shirtless, in only his boxer-briefs.
“Honestly, Pen, a Christmas fern? Why don’t you have a tree?”
I looked in the corner at the fern he was indicating. Mya and I had decorated it at the start of the month for Christmas.
“This place is too small for a tree, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“You’re moving in with me.”
“You have a house?” I raised a brow.
He shook his head. “Not yet, but I’m getting one for you, me, Mya, and the baby I hope is in you.”
My cheeks turned a blazing red. “This is insane. We must be crazy. I haven’t seen you in four years.”
“It’s fate, baby.” He finished with the bacon and put it on a plate.
“You need to go.”
He glowered at me.
I sighed, my shoulders sagging. “Dylan, Mya will be up soon.”
“Exactly. It’s time for me to meet my daughter.”
I looked at him like he was crazy. “Not like this,” I hissed, indicating his nearly naked state. “You’ll scare her.”
“I’m her dad .”
“You’ll still scare her. She’s seen photos of you but that’s it. You’re a stranger.”
He picked up a piece of bacon and chewed angrily. “What do you propose then?”
“We’re going ice-skating before I pick up my brothers from the airport. You can meet us at the rink.” I didn’t need to tell him where—growing up here, he knew exactly where I meant.
His jaw clenched. “I’m not happy about this, but I’m going to do this because you’re right, I don’t want to frighten Mya. I want to make this easy for her, because I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
“Were you going to stay?” I asked softly, almost hesitantly. “Or did finding out about Mya decide that?”
He shook his head. “I came back for you and the moment I saw you yesterday my fate was sealed ten-fold. I could never leave you again. Never.”
I wetted my lips. “Good.”
“I’ll change and leave. What time should I be at the rink?”
“Eleven.”
He nodded and headed down the hall to my room. A few minutes later he returned and kissed me before leaving.
***
“This is going to be so much fun, Mommy.” Mya clutched onto my hand as we walked down the street from where we parked to the rink.
As we came closer I couldn’t miss the large form of Dylan leaning against the barrier.
“Mya, there’s someone I want you to meet first.”
My heart beat erratically. If Mya didn’t take to Dylan that changed things. I couldn’t, no matter how my body yearned for him, let him back into our lives if she didn’t like him.
We approached him, and to my shock Mya’s whole face lit up.
“The Prince, Mommy! The Prince, he came back!”
She ran the few feet separating us from Dylan and crashed into his legs.
He bent and hugged her. It looked like she was strangling him.
“Prince?” He mouthed to me.
I shook my head, but he raised a brow.
“It’s a fairytale I made up for her—about a Prince who left the Princess to take care of the baby Princess and how in the end he comes back.”
“You always knew, didn’t you, that I’d come back?” He picked up Mya and she clung to him desperately. Seeing him hold our daughter for the first time ever did strange things to me. She was the best mix of both of us. We both had dark hair, so it was only natural she inherited that. Then she got his brown eyes and freckles across her nose from me.
“I hoped,” I replied. “You still want to skate, right sweetie?” I asked Mya.
“Yes, yes, yes!” She chanted. “Will you skate with us too Prince?” she asked him.
“I will.” He smiled at her like she was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. “But only if you call me Daddy.”
“Daddy,” she repeated. “Are you going to be my daddy forever and ever?”
He looked from her to me and back again. “You bet.”
My heart felt like it was going to overflow from the onslaught of feelings.
We headed over to the tent that was set up to pay for skates. Dylan insisted on paying, I fought him a little but only because it was fun.
The three of us sat on a bench putting on our skates. It felt so natural, so right, us being a family. It was as if four years had never passed and he’d always been here.
We each grabbed one of Mya’s hands and made our way onto the ice.
Mya’s giggles filled the air as we skated, spinning and twirling around.
The whole thing felt surreal—something straight of a story.
“This is so fun,” Mya trilled.
I smiled over at Dylan.
Mya’s happiness was always the most important thing to me.
All too soon the skating came to an end as it was time to pick up my brothers from the airport.
“I’ll go with you,” Dylan said, taking off his skates.
“Are you crazy? My brothers will murder you.”
He shrugged. “Better to get it out of the way, right?”
I pressed my lips together. “It’s your funeral.”
He chuckled, flashing me his smile that always made me go weak in the knees. “I can take it.”
As long as he was certain, I wasn’t going to argue, because he was right. We did have to get it out of the way.
Dylan insisted on driving and I let him since I was absolutely sick to my stomach over what I knew was about to go down.
Dylan on the other hand seemed completely unbothered and was singing along to Mya’s Frozen soundtrack.
At least those two’s meeting had gone smoothly. I’d been worried. Mya was old enough now to know she’d grown up without a father, and therefore could’ve been less forgiving, but leave it to my girl to welcome him back with open arms. The world didn’t deserve a soul as kind as Mya’s and that’s why it was my job to hold her close and make sure she flourished.
On the way to the airport we stopped and picked up McDonald’s for lunch and Mya hummed happily to the Frozen song, playing with her small plastic Barbie toy.
Dylan wadded up his trash and threw it in the bag before holding his hand out for me.
I looked at it for a moment before placing my hand in his with a smile.
“You know, we never were a real couple.”
He glared at me. “We were real. What we felt was real and that’s all that matters.”
“Your sister is going to hate me for forgiving you.”
“She’ll get over it.”
He was right. Liz could never stay mad at me for long and once she saw Dylan was serious I knew she’d be thrilled.
We arrived at the airport and parked in the garage. I grabbed the sign Mya and I made a few nights ago and carried it inside while Dylan held onto Mya—she wouldn’t let him go.
We stood by the escalators waiting and I felt like dashing into the nearest restroom and throwing up.
My brothers were going to be livid.
Ten minutes passed and I was shaking.
“Calm down,” Dylan whispered. “It’ll be fine. I’m not afraid of them.”
When I saw my brothers step onto the escalator I muttered, “Oh my God.”
They waved, smiling, and I waved back.
Then their eyes landed on Dylan and their smiles disappeared.
“What the fuck?” I saw Cramer mouth to Corey.
“You’re going to die,” I hissed at Dylan. “They’re going to kill you—and they’re smart, there will be no evidence left.”
“Why don’t you take Mya and go back to the car?” He suggested. “Let me talk to them man to man … to man.”
“Are you crazy?” My eyes bugged out. “Do you have a death wish?”
“I’m telling you it’ll be fine.”
The twins were stepping off the escalator and stomping forward.
Since I didn’t want Mya to witness this I reluctantly agreed, grabbed her from Dylan, and hauled ass away back to the elevators.
I heard a commotion behind us but refused to turn around and look.
I set Mya down on a bench near the elevators to the garage. Dylan wanted me to go back to the car, but I couldn’t be that far away in case they hurt him.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?” She batted her big brown eyes at me.
“Nothing, sweetie.” I smoothed my fingers through her thick dark hair.
I watched the clock and no more than five minutes had passed when the guys joined us.
“Oh my God, what did they do to you?” I jumped up and rushed to Dylan. His eye was red and I could see a bruise quickly blossoming.
“It’s okay.” He waved me away. “We worked it out.”
“You hit him?” I turned on my brothers.
They shrugged in unison.
“He deserves worse than that but we listened to what he had to say and … well we just want you to be happy—but that doesn’t mean we weren’t letting him off the hook unscathed,” Corey said.
Cramer slapped Dylan on the shoulder. “You better ice that when we get home.”
Dylan chuckled. “Yeah, I will. Hurts like a bitch.”
“No cussing in front of Mya,” I hissed.
“Oh, right.” He grinned like a mischievous little boy.
The five of us headed back to the car and to my parents house, where my brothers would be staying while they were in town.
When we arrived my parents were so excited to see my brothers they didn’t even notice Dylan until he spoke up.
“Um … Mrs. Lancing would you mind getting me some ice?”
My mom turned from Corey to Dylan. “Dylan? Dylan Carmichael?”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
She shook her head. “What are you doing here?”
He looked at me. “Coming back to my one true love like I should have a long time ago.”
She looked at me, stunned, and I gave her a smile. “Well … um … welcome back then.”
She got a pack of frozen peas from the freezer and handed it to him.
“Did you do that?” My dad asked the twins.
“You know it.” They high-fived.
“Good job.”
“Dan,” my mom scolded. “Don’t be rude.”
“He left our daughter pregnant and never came back.”
“He didn’t know I was pregnant,” I defended.
“Yeah, but he didn’t leave you anyway to tell him, either, did he?”
I sighed. I’d figured my dad would be harder to come around. I was his little girl and he had to protect me, always.
Dylan hung his head and slowly raised it to face my father. “I promise you, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making up for that mistake.”
My dad harrumphed but didn’t glare quite as badly at Dylan after that.
We stayed for hours, playing games, and eating dinner before heading back to my apartment.
“I’m staying,” Dylan declared, carrying a half-asleep Mya into the apartment.
“Whatever you say.”
He carried Mya to her room and I watched from the door as he changed her into PJs and put her to bed.
She insisted on a story and he barely fit into the twin-size bed with her.
Watching the two of them together did strange things to my heart and I felt tears rush to my eyes. I hurried to my room and looked out onto the street, watching the fresh snowfall swirl in the light from the street lamps.
Dylan’s arms wrapped around me, his body warm and comforting, a solid foundation I’d been missing.
I laid my head against his chest.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered, his breath brushing the top of my head.
“How much I’ve missed you and I didn’t even realize. I wouldn’t let myself think about you.”
“I’m sorry.” There was a depth of heartache and pain in those words. “I’m more sorry than you’ll never know. All I wanted was to break away from this town. It was never about you, I want you to know that. I knew if I stayed in contact I’d be tempted to come back. So that’s why I blocked everyone. But in the end, I realized I was only running away from my fears and they didn’t disappear. Where I belong is here. With you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”
I turned around and wrapped my arms around him. “If you leave me again it won’t be my brothers you need to be afraid of.”
He chuckled. “I wouldn’t expect any less from you.”
He lowered his head and kissed me.
Immediately that feeling in my tummy stirred.
My fingers found their way under his shirt and edged it up. Once it was off I took my time tracing the planes of his abs. His skin was smooth and warm, yet he shivered beneath my touch.
He kissed me deeper, his tongue tangling with mine.
Our bodies moved together, playing to the same song. We’d always been in sync and no amount of time had been able to change that.
He took my sweater off, then my jeans, before dropping to his knees.
His breath was hot against panties, and then those were gone too.
“Open up for me sweetheart.”
I moaned as he spread my legs, his tongue finding my pussy.
“Oh God.” I threw my head back. My legs began to shake. “Oh Dylan.”
His tongue flicked against my clit and then back down again.
Stars sparkled behind my closed lids. I could barely breathe.
“Dylan, please, I can’t— oh God .”
My orgasm hit me before I expected it and I lost sight of the whole world. When I came to I was on the bed and Dylan towered above me, the rest of his clothes gone and his cock jutting proudly from his body.
“Are you ready for me?” he asked, his voice hoarse as he reached down and stroked his cock. I nodded and he wasted no time thrusting inside me.
I clawed at his back as he pumped in and out.
My heart was so loud in my ears but I still managed to hear his rattled breaths. It made me feel good to know he was just as unhinged by this as I was.
He pulled out suddenly and commanded, “Roll over.”
I did, resting on all fours, and he smacked my ass before plunging back inside me.
Grabbing my hair he pulled my head back. “Fucking mine. You got that? You’re mine? You, this pussy, all of it, you’re mine.”
“Yours.”
With my softly uttered word we both reached our orgasm. I felt his teeth bite into my shoulder and I knew he was leaving his mark on purpose.
He didn’t need to though.
I’d always been his, even when I didn’t want to be.
By the time it came to have dinner on Christmas Eve, everyone, my family and Dylan’s, had grown used to the fact that he was back and we were together.
Everything seemed natural and easy, like he’d never really left.
Having him back was the Christmas present I hadn’t known to ask for.
I spent the day with my mom, Liz, and her mom, making dinner for everyone.
Dylan hadn’t wanted me to leave him, but it was tradition for all of us to make the meal together and I wasn’t about to break that.
So the guys hung out and watched Mya.
Liz and I set the table and she smiled over at me.
“This feels so weird, but right at the same time. Does that make sense?” Her gaze drifted to the family room where Dylan was playing dolls with Mya.
“It’s perfect.”
Once everything was placed we all sat down to eat.
We’d made a turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, macaroni and cheese, and much more. But with all the guys, I doubted there would be any leftovers.
Dylan sat to my right, with Mya on his lap since she refused to sit anywhere else.
I smiled at the two of them, my stomach flipping at the sight.
We were a family.
Laughter and talk echoed around the table as we ate, Christmas songs playing in the background, and the tree glittering from the next room.
I felt certain I’d never been happier than this moment.
As the food was cleared away, dessert was brought over, and by the time I finished my chocolate pie I had to undo the button on my pants.
I wasn’t even sorry.
Dylan cleared his throat.
“If you all don’t mind, I’d like to say a few words to this lovely lady at my side.”
Almost at once everyone became silent.
My heart jolted and I turned to look at Dylan. He was handing Mya to my mom and scooting his chair back so he could face me.
He took my hand in his.
“You are the kindest, most wonderful woman I know. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but you gave it readily. I promise you, from this day forward I’ll always be by your side. For you and Mya. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved and you’ll be the only one until I die.” He pushed the chair back and dropped to his knee, pulling out a ring box from his pocket. “Penelope, love of my life, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
I burst into tears. “Yes,” I cried raggedly. “Yes, of course.”
He grinned from ear to ear, but his hands shook with nerves as he slipped the ring onto my finger and we kissed to the cheers of our family.
Dylan and I were meant to be, we always had been, and now it was time for us to get our happy ending.
I watched as Dylan lifted Mya onto his shoulders to place the star on top of the tree.
Yes, tree , not fern.
Dylan and I had moved into a house last January, got married a month later, and not looked back.
Then, in September, our son Jaxon was born.
I swayed him in my arms and sang along to the Christmas song playing on the radio. The smell of cookies wafted from the kitchen and excitement was in the air.
Santa was coming tonight.
Mya squealed when she got the star on the tree and Dylan lowered her to the floor.
The four of us stood staring at the tree—well, Jaxon didn’t he just smiled and cooed in my arms.
Dylan wrapped an arm around my waist and placed his other hand on Mya’s shoulder.
“Merry Christmas.” He leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. “What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?”
I smirked. “I can think of a few things.”
He smiled in return. “I think Santa might be more than happy to explore those things.”
I laughed. “We need to get these two to bed so Santa can come.”
“Oh, Santa’s going to come all right,” he trilled and led Mya down the hall to her room.
I fed Jaxon, rocked him, and placed him in his bed. He was out like a light—but I knew it’d only last an hour tops. He still hadn’t mastered sleeping through the night.
Dylan met me in the hall, kissed me beneath the mistletoe, and my heart warmed.
His Christmas kiss was the gift I didn’t know to dream of last year, but now I had it, and him, and I was never letting go.
Note from the Author
I hope you enjoyed this Christmas short story. I’ve always been what I dub a “wordy bitch” so writing a short story was a bit of a challenge but I had fun with it. I write full length novels under my full name Micalea Smeltzer. While this is my first short story release under the name M.A. Smeltzer I’m hoping to have many more.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Attached is an excerpt from my book Dark Hearts.
I’ve learned that not everything is what it seems. If you start to look too close, you uncover things people don’t want you to see. It’s why I hide. It’s why no one knows the real me. But he sees me. He sees the darkness in my heart but he’s not afraid, because he’s like me. They say opposites attract, but we’re proof that like-and-like are a far more potent combination.
Novalee Clarke is hiding from a past she wants to leave behind, and Jacen Kensington is running from his.
The thing about hiding and running is eventually the thing you’re trying to escape catches up to you.
And when it does?
It changes everything.
Chapter One
Nova
“I fucking hate weddings.”
I glance up in time to see my friend Jace drop down into the seat beside me. He fiddles with his tie, loosening it, and then undoing the top button of his white dress shirt.
“I never want that to be me,” he continues, waving his fingers lazily to where our just married friends dance, their smiles blinding and their laughter nearly louder than the music.
“Allergic to love?” I raise a brow.
His top lip curls. “No—it’s just that love makes you weak. Look at them. They’ve willingly handed their heart to the other person, giving them permission to break it at any time.” He shakes his head and rolls up his sleeves, revealing the intricate tattoos that snake around one forearm. “It’s not for me.” He makes a face like something tastes bad.
“Can’t say I don’t agree with you,” I mutter.
He raises a brow. “Really? You’re a girl, so I can’t believe you’re not about to give me some spiel on true love and how love conquers everything.” He pulls his cigarette pack out of his pocket and taps the box against the white tablecloth covered table.
I sigh. “I believed that once, but in my experience it’s not true. Love doesn’t conquer everything, it destroys you instead.”
Jace looks at me seriously and I swear it’s like his eyes see right through me. “Huh.”
“Huh?” I repeat. “What does that mean?”
He shrugs. “Nothing.”
“What?” I prompt again. “You’re thinking something.”
He shrugs and the motion stretches the shirt tight across his shoulders. “Just that you and I are so alike it scares me sometimes.”
I smile at that and he chuckles. “I didn’t think anything could possibly scare you.”
He slips the cigarette pack back into his pocket without every grabbing one. He stands then and holds his hand out to me.
“Dance with me?”
“You dance?” I eye him.
He grins and I know I’m in trouble. Jace doesn’t smile much but when he does I know it means trouble.
“I have sex. Dancing is practically the same thing. You just have your clothes on.”
I roll my eyes.
He wiggles his fingers. “Come on, little star, dance with me.”
I sigh and slip my hand in his. I stand and he guides me onto the dance floor. He towers above my short frame and I place my hands flat on his chest since I can’t wrap them around his neck.
Xander and Thea—who had a quickie wedding in Vegas, and are now having this wedding so all of us could attend—twirl around us.
Jace might mock them for what they have, but I can’t help but feel a slight sting of jealousy.
I thought I had that once. A love that was impenetrable and everlasting. I was young though, and so naïve.
Jace’s hands cup the small of my waist and he moves us effortlessly around the dance floor. There’s only a handful of people dancing but everyone seems to be having a good time. Xander and Thea chose to keep the wedding small and only had their closest family and friends come.
“You actually can dance,” I comment, unable to hide the surprise in my voice.
Jace chuckles. “Confession, I took dance lessons as a kid.”
My eyes widen and nearly pop out of my head. Dance lessons .
“Confession, I took ballet for five days before quitting much to the dismay of my parents. I have no rhythm,” I whisper like it’s some sort of secret.
Jace’s lips quirk in a smile.
I’ve been staying with him since the beginning of summer. I didn’t want to head home, back to Texas and that God forsaken small town, and Jace’s roommate happened to be moving out so it worked out perfectly. Since then, we’ve developed a game we’ve simply dubbed Confession . That’s all it is. A confession, something we’ve never shared with another person but we’ve chosen to share with each other. Some of our confessions are silly and others are more serious. I love all of them all. Each one gives me one small piece of the puzzle that is Jacen Kensington.
“You’re not so bad.”
“And you’re a liar,” I say, stepping on his toes. He doesn’t comment on my clumsiness and moves us easily around the dance floor. I’m light enough that he can pretty much hold me and guide me while I do nothing.
The song ends and bleeds into another. I expect him to stop but he keeps going.
We dance to three more songs before returning to the table.
I pick up my camera and take a few photos of the bride and groom while their oblivious. There’s something about candid photos that leave a more lasting mark in your memory than something posed so I want to make sure they have plenty of those.
Xander and Thea had tasked Rae—another friend of ours—and me with taking photos at the wedding. Rae and I are both going to college for photography. I think they asked both of us to take photos because they didn’t want either of us to feel bad for not being chosen. I would’ve been fine if they only went with Rae, though. Weddings aren’t really my thing. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I could and would get some amazing shots, but it wasn’t my passion. Rae liked to take photos of everything. But me? I preferred to make mine into something else. Conceptual photography was my go to, but lately something else was catching my eye and getting my wheels turning.
Jace .
God, I itched to photograph him.
He made the most mundane things look like the most exciting thing ever.
Like every morning, when he drank his coffee and read the newspaper still wearing his glasses since he never puts his contacts in first thing.
He fascinates me. I can’t think of any other twenty-two year old guy who still reads the physical newspaper. Let alone any kind of newspaper.
I’m sure if I asked him he’d let me. Jace isn’t a shy guy. But he is my best friend and I don’t want to make things weird. I haven’t had a friend like him in a long time and I’m not willing to mess with what we have for a few photos.
Click. Click. Click.
The sound of the shutter on my camera was music to my ears.
I feel that love is an understatement for what I feel for photography. It is my art. My life. My escape. My everything. Without it I can’t breathe.
After I’ve taken a million photos of Xander and Thea I move on to taking pictures of the cake and décor. I focus on the little things—zooming in on the turquoise flowers frosted on the cake and the crisp lines of the napkins folded on the table.
I decide to take a break and head back to the table Jace occupies. He sits with his legs taking up as much space as humanly possible. He’s now ditched his tie completely and it sits as a crumpled gray pile on the table.
He lifts his gaze to me as I place my Canon 70d on the table.
“You look like you could use a drink,” he comments.
I laugh and push my magenta colored hair away from my eyes. “Is that your way of saying you need a drink?”
His green eyes twinkle. “Yes. I’ll be back.”
He hops up and heads to the bar.
I kick my heels off beneath the table and I swear my feet sing halle-fucking-lujah at being free of those death traps.
Thea Montgomery—Kincaid, now, I correct myself—thinks there’s something wrong with you if you don’t wear heels but I think she’s the one that’s not okay in the head because those things are painful.
I lift one aching foot to rest on my knee and begin massaging it.
Jace returns and places a beer in front of me before taking his seat again.
“Feet hurt?” he asks.
Before I can answer he grabs my legs and tugs my feet into his lap.
He begins massaging the arch of my right foot before I can protest and I nearly moan because Oh my God that feels amazing .
He rubs with expert precision and I wonder where he learned to do it.
My head lolls back and my eyes close. “Feels good?”
I nod and don’t open my eyes. “I’m never wearing heels again,” I mumble.
He moves to the other foot and I suppress another moan.
“On second thought, maybe I should wear heels every day if it means you’ll rub my feet.”
He chuckles and the sound is warm and husky and perfectly Jace.
He finishes rubbing my feet and I reluctantly drop them to the ground again.
“It’s time for the bouquet toss!” Someone calls out.
I groan.
Jace nudges my shoulder and waggles his brows. “Don’t you want to catch the bouquet?”
“Yeah, and be labeled as the next one to get married? No thanks.”
“Come on,” he coaxes. “It’ll be fun.”
“Are you going to be a part of the garter toss?” I challenge.
He tilts his head and smirks. “Of course.”
I sigh. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
I place my hands on the table and push up as I stand. I don’t bother putting my heels back on. I’m burning those things first thing tomorrow morning.
It’s a small group for the bouquet toss since the wedding was so intimate.
I turn around and point at Jace and then my camera. “Take photos,” I mouth.
Rae is participating too and I want to make sure there’s at least one photo of this for Thea and Xander to look back on. Jace might not be a photographer, but I think he can manage at least one or two photos.
“Me?” He points to himself.
“Yes, you.” I point again and he picks up my camera, looking at it stupidly. “It’s that button right—”
Whack .
The bouquet hits me right in the back of the head.
I turn around and glare at the offending flowers now lying pathetically on the ground. Jace laughs uproariously in the background along with a few other people.
Thea turns around from her perch, confused by the laughter. “Who got them?” she asks.
“Apparently, Nova.” Rae bends and picks them up and hands them to me. My lip curls in disgust. I didn’t want to catch them and I would’ve side stepped it if I’d been turned that way. Instead, I was arguing with Jace over taking a photo and he didn’t even get one. “Don’t look so disgusted,” Rae laughs. “It’s funny.”
I sigh and shrug. It’s only a silly tradition after all and means nothing. I force a smile and say, “Yeah, it is pretty funny.”
Thea heads over to us, smiling from ear to ear. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happier.
“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” she asks, concerned.
I shake my head. “They’re flowers. They can’t do much damage.”
She rests her arm casually on my shoulder and leans into me. “I didn’t mean to hit you in the head with them.”
“S’okay.” I wave away her concern. “You weren’t even looking where you were throwing. It’s my own fault. I was trying to get Jace to take a picture of it and he was being an idiot.”
“Hey, I take offence to that,” he remarks, striding over to us with my camera in hand.
“What would you prefer?”
“Lovable.” He grins and holds out my camera. I trade him the flowers and he looks at them like they’re diseased. “Here, you want these back?” He holds them out to Thea.
She rolls her eyes as Xander comes up behind her, fitting his hands around her waist. “Nova caught them. They’re hers now.”
Jace looks at the flowers again and then me. “Does this mean you’re getting married next?”
I gag. “Never.”
He chuckles and I lift my camera to get a shot of Xander’s hands around her waist. Then another of him dipping his head into the crook of her neck.
Cade joins our group, standing next to Rae with a smile on his face. She leans into him and I don’t think she even realizes she does it.
“Come on,” Xander tugs on Thea’s waist. “Garter time.”
“Oh no,” she laughs as he drags her away. “I don’t like the look in your eye.”
I have to admit, she’s right. Xander has a mischievous glint in his eyes that promises trouble.
He leads her to the chair that someone’s already placed in the center of the dance floor.
The guys at the wedding all reluctantly head that way and gather around the bride and groom. Rae grabs her camera and the two of us start snapping photos. I can’t help but get one of the irritated expression on Jace’s face. He looks absolutely disgusted to have to be standing there.
Payback’s a bitch.
“Are you going to give me a lap dance first?” Thea asks as Xander gives her a slight push into the chair.
He bends forward so they’re eye-level. “You want me to dance, sweetheart?”
“I want you to take your clothes off.”
Laughter explodes out of him. “I love you,” he says when he regains control of himself.
He kneels on the floor then and lifts up all the layers of tulle of her dress and dives under. Her eyes widen in surprise and we all try not to laugh, but it’s hard not to when it looks like Xander is…well…
His head moves around and then back down and he comes away with the garter belt between his teeth and Thea’s cheeks successfully a bright red color. She doesn’t get embarrassed much, so it’s nice to see her feathers get ruffled.
Xander tosses the garter belt and we all watch to see who catches it.
“Fuck me.”
I can’t control my laughter at seeing Jace clutching the garter belt.
“Here, take it.” He tries to hand it to Cade.
Cade refuses it and shakes his head. “Nah, man. It’s all yours.”
Jace dangles the garter belt from his finger and looks right at me. I snap a picture and then a few more as he flicks it at me. I manage to get a shot of it flying through the air.
Perfection .
I bend and pick the garter belt up off the floor and carry it back over to him. “If I have to keep the flowers then you have to keep this.”
He grabs it and crumbles it in his fist before shoving it in his pocket. “Traditions are silly,” he mutters, but I can tell he’s secretly amused by the whole thing. After all, the irony of me ‘catching’ the bouquet and him the garter belt is laughable. Both of us are the ones most likely to never get married. “When are we getting cake?” He calls out to Xander and Thea who are completely lost in one another again.
Thea glances over and then up at Xander. “Wanna cut the cake?”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“Cake’s happening now,” she calls over to Jace.
“Confession,” Jace whispers, “I love cake.”
I watch as he turns and heads back to the table he was sitting at before. I notice one of the girl’s Thea has class with eyeing him and I’m not surprised when she moves from her table over to his to sit beside him. He smiles and leans into her when she says something.
I sigh and avert my eyes.
I have pictures to take and watching Jace flirt is not part of that job.
Xander and Thea cut into the cake and I’m not surprised when she nails him right in the face with cake. Xander ends up chasing after her to get her back and she makes it all the way to the other side of the dance floor before he catches her. He loops one arm around her waist and swings her around. His other hand with the cake comes toward her mouth. She pleads with him not to do it, but he doesn’t listen and she gets a face full of cake. They both can’t contain their laughter.
“Look at us,” Thea laughs. “We look ridiculous.”
He reaches up and tenderly clears her face of cake. “Ridiculous is good.”
“Does this mean we can eat the cake now?”
I jump at the sound of Jace’s voice right by my ear. “Jesus! Where’d you come from?”
He raises a brow and points to the table. I notice the girl is gone.
“I really want some cake.”
“Let me guess, you want a middle piece too?”
“Well, it’s a circle, so it doesn’t really matter.” He shrugs.
I glance back at Xander and Thea who are now cleaning their faces with napkins.
The caterer is already cutting the cake and placing slices on plates.
“Looks like your cake is ready,” I point out.
Jace rubs his hands together and licks his lips. “ Cake ,” he hums. “You want a piece?”
“Sure.”
He heads off to get the cake and I head back to our table.
My heels are still on the ground and I kick them out of my way.
Heels are the work of the devil. I’m sure of it.
Jace returns a moment later and hands me my slice of cake with a flourish. It’s chocolate and covered in icing—and the more icing the better, in my opinion.
He pulls out his chair and plops into it. I notice he has two slices of cake on his plate and he’s already eaten half of one.
“This is so good.” He shovels a forkful into his mouth.
I stifle a laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jace this animated over anything ever, except maybe his music and even then he’s a little more subdued than he is now.
It is good cake though.
He finishes his one slice and starts in on the second.
I’ve barely made a dent in mine.
“When is this thing over?” He asks after he swallows his next bite.
“It’s a wedding. It could last until the end of time.”
“Fuck me,” he mutters.
“Oh honey I’d love to,” someone says, but when I look around the only person I see is a little old lady that’s maybe eighty and I’m pretty sure is an aunt of Xander’s. She notices me looking and winks. Oh .
I quickly divert my gaze back to my plate.
Thankfully, it doesn’t last until the end of time and after another hour everyone starts to disperse.
Jace and I head to his car together. I have a car of my own but since we live together now we carpool a lot. It’s easier that way.
He drives an old black Chevy truck. It looks brand new, though, with the way it shines and the engine doesn’t sound ancient. The only thing I have against it is the stench of cigarette smoke that clings to the interior.
None of our friends notice us leaving together, for which I’m thankful.
I haven’t told Rae and Thea that I’m living with Jace and as far as I know he hasn’t told the guys either.
It’s not that I don’t want them to know I’m living with Jace it’s that…
I don’t want them to know that I’m living with Jace .
I know Thea and Rae will try to make a big deal out of it. They’ll think Jace and I are secretly dating or simply hooking up and they’ll pester me endlessly and that’s not it at all.
Rae and Thea are my friends.
Jace?
He’s my best friend.
From the moment we were introduced to each other it’s like some part of me woke up and said, “Hello, I know you.”
We’re so similar and we just… click .
He’s easier to talk to than them and he gets me.
Most people don’t get me.
They see what I want them to see.
But not Jace.
He sees it all.
“Still haven’t told them?”
See? He reads my mind .
I turn away from the truck window and look at him. It’s pretty much dark now and his gaze is zeroed in on the road.
“No,” I admit.
“Why?” He asks.
I shrug. “No reason.”
He grins. “If that was the case then you would’ve told them.”
I sigh. “I don’t need everyone to know all of my business.”
“But it’s okay for me to know all your business?” He counters.
“You’re different.”
“Ah, I see.” He turns away with a little smirk.
“Oh, you do, huh?”
“It’s because I’m your favorite.”
I laugh and look out the window at the moon illuminating the sky. “Can’t argue with you there.”
“I am pretty great.” Sobering, he says, “Seriously, though, why haven’t you told them?”
“Because they’ll think it’s more than what it is,” I admit. “I’d rather avoid their pestering. Why haven’t you told the guys?”
“Same reason.”
“We’re too alike,” I mutter.
He grabs a cigarette and lights it at the next stoplight. We’re not far from his apartment. I still can’t seem to think of it as mine too. Probably because he won’t actually let me pay rent. Well, he takes the checks, but he never actually cashes them. I continue to write them, figuring if he needs the money he’ll eventually cash some of them.
The cab of the truck grows quiet—me lost in my thoughts and him…lost in his cigarette, I guess. Though he always gets this disgusted look on his face when he smokes, almost like he doesn’t actually like them.
He blows out a puff of smoke toward his open window.
When we arrive at the apartment he parks on the street behind my beat up Toyota Corolla.
Neither of us moves immediately to get out of the car.
Darkness has descended completely upon the city and the barest hint of moonlight peeks out between the buildings. Streetlights illuminate the cab of the truck, bathing Jace’s face in a white glow, making him looking almost ghostly.
He extinguishes his cigarette and tosses it out the open window before rolling it up.
I put my hand on the door handle and move to open the door, but he stops me.
“Wait,” he pleads, grabbing my arm. I glance back at him. “Sit here for a minute.”
I release the door and straighten in my seat.
He rubs his fingers over his lips, a telltale sign he’s thinking deeply. I notice he does it a lot when he’s writing songs and he ends up with smudges all over his face.
“Confession,” he starts, and I sit quietly waiting. “This is my favorite moment of the day. The time when the sun has completely descended and night takes reign. Night,” he muses, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “The dark and misunderstood beast. People are afraid of the dark, but not the light—but it’s the light they should fear. The light is where the real monsters are.”
He’s right. The real monsters are right in front of us and we never even notice it. They slip by unnoticed, masquerading as normal people, but they can’t mask their true colors for long.
The evil always slips through in the end.
He taps his thumb against the steering wheel, staring down the street. It’s not late so several people are milling around and darting in and out of the stores and restaurants that line the street.
A few minutes more of quiet pass before he reaches for his door.
“I guess we better head in,” he says, somewhat reluctantly.
I nod and follow suit.
The apartment building is an old warehouse that some developer came in and renovated. So, it’s nice with a lot of old and quirky touches like exposed metal beams and concrete floors on the main level.
Jace’s apartment is on the fourth floor and the view, is pretty great. It’s not the best, since it’s not a tall building, but it’s good enough. It overlooks the park on the block behind us.
We take the elevator in silence.
It’s not late, but I think we’re both tired regardless.
Weddings are exhausting.
When the doors slide open I follow him down the hall to the apartment door. He slips his key inside the knob and turns, swishing his arm in a flourish.
I laugh and head in first, flicking on the light.
His apartment walls are all white, except one that’s black because it’s actually chalkboard paint. That wall is currently covered in ‘graffiti’ from our friends. I’m pretty sure Thea is the one who drew FUCK really big and then drew flowers in the bubble flowers. The rest of the apartment is a mix of black, white, and gray. When I moved in Jace told me I could add some things of my own as long as it wasn’t too girly, but I reminded him there’s nothing girly about me at all, and the way he had it suited me fine. I’m not fussy, so the minimalist look suits me fine.
I drop my shoes on the floor and collapse on the couch face first.
“Wake me never.”
He chuckles and I turn my head, watching him step onto the platform behind the couch where his mattress sits. There’s only one bedroom closed off from the rest of the apartment, which belonged to his roommate, and has since become mine. It’s small, more like a closet, but it’s a room and that’s all that matters to me.
He unbuttons his shirt and drops it on the bed. I hastily look away.
I force myself to sit up and I head over to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I shower quickly and as the colored water swirls down the drain I decide I’m going to dye my hair again tomorrow. It’s time for a new color. This one’s becoming stale.
I step out and wrap the fluffy gray towel around my body before wiping the condensation from the mirror.
My reflection stares back at me. The same person I’ve seen every day for my entire life—minus the ever-changing hair color. I tilt my head to the side and my reflection follows suit.
Hate.
That’s what I used to feel when I looked at myself.
Now?
Now I feel numb, and I don’t know which is worse—hating yourself or not caring anymore?
With a sigh I open the door and step outside. The cooler air feels like heaven against my skin.
I look up and see Jace sitting in his bed. His chest is bare, the sheets pooled at his waist. His glasses are perched on his nose and he’s reading.
The first thing he said when I moved in was, “Tell anyone I read and you’re out of here. I have to keep my cool factor.”
I didn’t tell him, but the fact that he reads makes him infinitely cooler in my eyes.
After all, what’s hotter than a guy that reads?
Not that I think Jace is hot.
“Night,” he says, without looking up from his book.
“Goodnight,” I mumble back, ducking my head so damp magenta colored strands of hair hide my face as I scurry across the hall to my room.
I swear I can feel his eyes on me, but when I look back before I close my door his eyes are once more on his book, and I can’t be sure if he was really looking or if I simply wanted him to look.