Chapter Thirty
“What is this?” Holly asked, picking it up.
“His address and phone number,” I replied. “I’ll leave it up to you to decide what to do with it, but I can at least tell you what I learned—and most of it was easily accessible information.”
She seemed to brace herself emotionally for whatever I was about to reveal.
“After Riley was released from prison and drove out to LA,” I said, “he was arrested again for possession and served more time behind bars.”
Holly closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“But when he got out,” I continued, “he must have decided to clean up his act. As of two months ago, he was living in Montana and working for a construction company. He runs a couple of support groups out of his church—for addicts and family members of addicts. He’s married and has two young children, a boy and girl, ages four and two. He and his wife own their own home. His wife is a clerk for an insurance agency.”
Holly stared at me with wide eyes, blinked a few times, then abruptly stood up and walked out of the room.
I rose from my chair and followed her to the kitchen. There, I found her leaning against the center island with one hand over her face.
“Are you all right?” I asked, moving closer to lay a hand on her shoulder.
Holly turned and surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder. “I’m so happy to hear this,” she sputtered. “Really, I am. But at the same time it’s excruciating. It’s like a knife in my heart.”
“Why?”
“Because he hasn’t wanted to call us or see us or introduce his children to us. Or his wife. He must think we’re horrible people.”
I stood for a moment, running my hand up and down her back, smelling the clean fragrance of her long, silky hair.
Suddenly, the moment Leah placed her newborn baby sister into my arms on Christmas Day came flashing into my heart and mind. It seemed like only yesterday because I’d just relived it in the hospital, yet here she was—a grown woman. Brilliant, beautiful. In my arms again.
Something burst open inside of me and all I wanted to do was protect her. I wanted to spare her from all the pain and unpleasantness of the world. Take care of her forever.
This child I’d held.
A lifetime ago.
No longer a child.
It took me a moment to catch my breath and remind myself that all of those thoughts were ridiculous. Holly certainly didn’t need taking care of. She was a Harvard grad and had a third degree black belt in karate. She could kick my ass if she wanted to.
“He would have wanted to move forward, not backward,” I offered. “That’s why he hasn’t tried to contact you. It’s not uncommon for addicts to avoid situations that they associate with their lowest moments.”
Holly stepped back, sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.
“Rationally, I know that,” she said. “But it’s not easy to be objective when it’s your long-lost brother who had his head bashed in by your father when you were thirteen. And when your recently deceased sister comes back from the dead to make sure you have your brother’s address and phone number. If that’s what actually happened. I still don’t understand any of this.”
She became emotional again and turned into my arms a second time.
I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was hold her.
“Will you tell them?” I asked. “Will your parents want to know?”
She stepped back. “I’m not sure. Couldn’t they have found out this information on their own if they wanted to? But they didn’t. Maybe they assumed the worst—that he was in jail again or dead from an overdose. I’m pretty sure my mother would faint if I told her she had grandchildren she didn’t know about. As far as my father is concerned… I honestly don’t know how he would react. He might fly into a rage and warn us never to contact Riley or there will be hell to pay.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked.
Furiously, she wiped away a tear. “I want to see him again. I want to meet my niece and nephew.”
“Then that’s what you should do,” I replied, feeling no regret whatsoever about encouraging her to defy her father’s wishes.
I suspected I might come to regret that eventually, but in that moment, Holly was all that mattered.
I wondered what Leah would have thought about all of this, and suspected that maybe she was the one orchestrating it all.