Hawk’s going to be a father...

The words played over and over, and each time I heard them in my head, it was like taking a blow from a sledgehammer.

Surely, I heard wrong. Surely...

The look on his face, however, told me I hadn’t misheard. Every single word was the truth.

Hawk’s knuckles turned white on the balustrade, his expression one of a distraught, conflicted, angry and remorseful man. He looked like he’d taken a blow to the gut and I felt it, too.

“Is that true?” The words stumbled out. “Is what I just heard true?”

He didn’t answer me. Not because he had chosen not to. It was because he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t find the words.

“Hawk,” I said more forcefully this time. “Are you going to be a father?”

Gravely, he merely nodded his head.

A sob caught in my throat and I gripped the railing to balance myself. I felt weak like my muscles had all been removed. Ricky stepped forward so he could see me, a curious expression passing between Hawk and me.

My emotions threatened to make a scene, and my body took control. It started to retreat, landing heavily on each step back down the three flights of stairs. I could hear the boys bickering but couldn’t hear a word they were saying. Walking onto the street, my legs created their own path, and soon I was somewhere in Central Park even though it wasn’t the direction home.

“Britta!” came a voice behind me. “Britta... wait!”

A rough hand gripped my arm, and I was swung around until I came face to face with Hawk. He was panting, the worry in his eyes still there.

“I didn’t know...” he started. “Not until today.”

“Who... who’s the mother?”

Hawk looked down at the ground, his hands jammed into his pockets.

“Hawk? Who’s the mother of your child?”

“Celeste.”

I was gobsmacked at his announcement. “Celeste? Celeste... the model?”

He nodded. I could see from his expression that he too was miffed that it was her.

Celeste had worked for Carnage Industries as a lingerie model for only a few months. It had turned out she actually knew Ricky years back when she started dating a mutual friend. When things turned sour, and the relationship ended, she moved onto Ricky who’d shut her down. He wasn’t into betraying his friends. When she started working at Carnage, I recognized her face from some group photos on Ricky’s Facebook page.

Now I wish I’d burned her modeling portfolio before she’d set foot in the building.

“I didn’t even know you two were a... what even were you?”

“That’s what makes this shit so unbelievable. We weren’t even anything. It was just a fling which lasted a few nights.”

I took a step back, reeling from the news. News that had turned everything belly up, over something that meant absolutely nothing at the time. A nothing event now created a divide between us.

“So that’s where you were all day today?”

He nodded. “I had a message waiting from Celeste. When I met her at the café and saw the size of her belly, I... I... just had this sinking feeling I was going to walk out of there with my life turned upside down. And that’s exactly what happened.”

I turned away from him, allowing the stray tear to fall unseen. An uneasy silence settled between us, and I gently kicked at the small rocks on the path. “What are you going to do?” I finally choked out.

I knew the answer. I didn’t need to ask. Hawk was raised by a man who above everything else, instilled in him a moral backbone. It was family first, in any situation. He’d always enforced that Hawk grow up and take care of what was his. Now would be no different.

“I have to be in the child’s life,” he said, and I believed his words. Hawk wasn’t the sort of man to run from his responsibilities. He’s step up to the plate. “He... or she... needs a father and that’s me.”

Next tough question. “Are you... and Celeste...” I let the words trail off.

We stared at each other for a long while. With just the soft glow of the park’s lamps, the emotion between us was evident. The hurt between us showed on our faces, his dark eyes filled with a heart-breaking regret.

“I’m sorry, Britta.”

Three words.

In three words, Hawk Carnage broke my heart.

He’d chosen Celeste.

Not out of love, but responsibility.

Biting my bottom lip, I couldn’t stop the tears. They prickled my eyes, my cheeks heating. Slowly I nodded, accepting his choice.

I wanted to say, ‘What about us?’

I wanted to yell, ‘Didn’t we mean anything?’

But there was no us. We were friends with benefits. There was no obligation to someone you were ‘just fucking.’

But it was more than that. Hawk Carnage had always been more than ‘just that.’

He reached out to touch my cheek, but I moved the other way.

“I never meant for it to be like this...” he said with remorse. “I never wanted to...”

I could no longer hear his words as I backed away. I couldn’t even swallow, a hard, painful lump caught in my throat.

There was no future between us.

There was no... us.

Everything before me, including his sad, handsome face blurred and flight mode took control.

I turned my back on his pleading words.

I turned my back on the pain in his eyes.

I turned my back on the man I loved.