CHAPTER ELEVEN

Ethan didn’t particularly want to drop Rosemary off, but he didn’t think he could back away from his offer after the moment he had shared with his sister. He did want to help, he just didn’t want to see Kelsey. His teeth were on edge as he parked his car behind Rosemary’s on the street.

He let his sister and his niece go into their building first, before he killed the ignition and stepped out of his car. He took a second to drink the atmosphere in. This wasn’t what his sister had signed up for. When Kelsey had won his seat, he had lived in a house which was very similar to Max’s. Gorgeous, with a wrap-around porch and far too many rooms, that was where Rosemary had wanted to spend the rest of her life.

After Alois had died, she had even offered to let him stay with them. Ethan had thought about it. He hadn’t wanted to go back to the same place he shared with the man he loved, to feel the emptiness of his bed, how quiet his kitchen was in the morning when Alois wasn’t puttering around in it.

Then the scandal had broken and the possibility of moving in with his sister and his brother-in-law hadn’t been on the table anymore. Rosemary had secured an apartment in the heart of the city so she could get away from him and think.

He had moved into the apartment with her a few weeks later, after he had come clean about everything. He had told Rosemary he needed her to stand by him if he was going to continue being the governor, so she’d done it, but Ethan didn’t think she had been happy about it.

She had still done it. She knew what was important, she’d told him. At the time, Ethan had wondered if she did know. He couldn’t help but think about that again as he entered the building, taking a deep breath before he caught up to them.

Rosemary lifted her eyebrows. He smiled at her, trying to reassure her. He wanted her to think that he had his temper under control, though it didn’t feel like it. He knew that the moment he walked through the door, he would want to punch Kelsey in the face.

Rosemary looked at Ava. “Are you ready?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Ethan grabbed Ava’s shoulder. She looked up at him and flashed him a grateful smile. “You got this,” Ethan said.

She nodded, but doubt seemed to flicker in her eyes. He hated the idea that she would have to steel herself to deal with her own father.

He let Rosemary go in first then Ava. He thought about hanging back there and not even stepping into the apartment when he caught something from the corner of his eye that made him practically gasp.

Kelsey wasn’t alone. His silhouette might have made him look like Alois, but the way Max sat down was distinctly his own, with his back straight up and his neck slightly forward. It had struck Ethan as sophisticated, the way his hands were folded over his lap, the way he looked so intensely at the person he was talking to.

The way Max looked so intensely at him.

Ava turned around as she stopped in the hallway. “Aren’t you coming in, uncle Ethan?”

“Sure,” he replied. Shit. Now he had no choice what to do it. He could have given her an excuse and she would have been none-the-wiser. Now he had to walk in. He resisted the urge to swear under his breath and entered the apartment, flashing Max a weak smile.

Max was now staring at him. Ethan noticed that his gaze darted between him and Kelsey, who Ethan assumed was standing just out of his view.

Rosemary stopped. “I didn’t realize you’d have company,” she said.

“It was an impromptu thing,” Kelsey said from behind the wall.

Max stood up. “In any case, Mrs. Morgan, I think I should go,” he said. “I really wouldn’t want to intrude.”

She was about to tell him he wasn’t intruding, Ethan was certain of it, when Max tipped his head and strolled quickly past him. Ethan watched him, his head cocked, as he went all the way to the elevator.

He looked at Rosemary, who gave him a slight nod. That was all he needed. He practically sprinted outside, closing the door behind him. Max was in the hallway, waiting for the elevator, when Ethan stood next to him.

It was only when he was right next to Max that he realized what he had done just to be able to stand next to Max. He was trying to seem dignified, not desperate.

Max looked at him, his expression inscrutable. “Hello,” he said.

Ethan nodded at him. Maybe he was reading too much into Max’s face, but he also looked tired and bags had appeared under his eyes. He couldn’t ask Max if he had missed him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t think about it. Selfish as the thought was, it did bring him some comfort. “Hello,” Ethan said, trying for a smile. “Didn’t think I’d find you here.”

Max nodded, looking away from him. “I didn’t plan this.”

“I know,” Ethan said. “I never meant to imply that you had.”

“You didn’t,” Max replied. He exhaled heavily, then closed his eyes. “Honestly, I—I’m probably being a little bit oversensitive to you being here.”

“I mean, I’m about to leave,” Ethan said with a snicker. “But also, that’s my family in there.”

“I know,” Max said.

The elevator pinged and the door opened to let them in. Max gestured for Ethan to go in first, which he did despite how eager Ethan was to stay and talk to him.

He walked in after Ethan and stood close enough to him that their shoulders touched. “I like elevators,” he said.

Ethan raised his eyebrows.

“They help you get close to people,” Max said. “You know. Sometimes you can’t help it and it sucks, but sometimes… it’s great.”

Ethan swallowed. Max was pressing the side of his body against his own. There should have been nothing erotic about this, it should have been uncomfortable, but Ethan could feel the blood rushing to his cock, how hard he was already just from the most minimal contact.

Max leaned down a little. When he spoke, Ethan could feel his breath in his ear. “This is nice,” Max said. “I can feel you. I can smell you. God, you’re so excited just to be next to me, aren’t you?”

Ethan gulped. He did it loudly enough to make Max laugh.

“My pet,” Max said. He had started moving his hand, slowly, but surely, toward the front of Ethan’s pants. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve thought about you so much since we last saw each other. Have you thought about me too?”

Ethan swallowed again. His voice was unsteady when he spoke. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I’ve thought about you a lot.”

“Good,” Max replied. “I like it when you think about me.”

Ethan whimpered as Max’s hand covered his crotch. He firmly grabbed Ethan’s erection through the fabric of his jeans and then looked right into Ethan’s eyes. Max’s eyes were skies, but they were bright and angry. Ethan couldn’t imagine getting lost in them.

Looking directly into Max’s eyes was like staring directly into the sunlight.

“You’ve been good, though?”

Ethan swallowed again. Fuck, yes, he had been good, even though he had thought numerous times about how much he wanted to touch himself, how much he wanted to please himself thinking about Max.

Even though Max had made it clear they weren’t going to see each other again, Ethan hadn’t managed to do it. Jacking off—even the idea of jacking off—had felt like a betrayal, and now, with his cock in Max’s hand, he was glad he hadn’t given in to his desire.

Though just the way Max was touching him right there was almost enough to make him come. He had a moment of clarity when he realized just how embarrassing that be, so he nodded and tried to squirm away from Max. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I’ve been good.”

“Good,” Max said. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Ethan’s own. It wasn’t a kiss, not even when Ethan tried to tilt his head forward and go for it, his lips puckered. Max laughed. “I like it when you’re good.”

Ethan groaned and tilted his head back until it hit the mirror on the wall. Max moved away from him, but not before kissing the tip of his nose.

Ethan opened his eyes to look at Max. Max had moved away from him. He was standing with his back to the door and his mouth opened to say something. Before he could, the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Max looked up, as if he had just been reminded of where he was. He sighed as he looked at Ethan. “I’ll see you around, yes?”

Ethan blinked. He tried to find his voice as Max turned around and started to walk away from him. Ethan stared at his body, at the way that he looked as he started to get further away from him. “Wait,” Ethan said, running so he had caught up to Max again. His hand was wrapped around Max’s wrist before Max could get to the building’s exit.

Max looked at him over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows. “What?”

“I want to talk to you,” Ethan said.

Max smirked. “About what?”

“About… I don’t know,” Ethan said, instantly feeling foolish. He let go of Max’s wrist and stared at the floor. “Forget it.”

He could hear Max sigh. “No,” he said. “I mean, I know what I wanted to hear. But I shouldn’t have teased you. Not right now.”

Ethan felt his cheeks redden. It was weird how much younger Max always made him feel. This reminded him of just how much Max could cut through him, whether they were having sex or standing around in front of an elevator.

Ethan nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I don’t know. I saw you there, talking to Kelsey, and I just wanted to catch up.”

Max smiled at him when Ethan met his gaze. “That sounds good,” he said. “There’s a coffee shop around here. If you want to do that.”

Ethan smiled back at him. “You want to do a coffee date?”

“Not a date,” Max said, winking at him. “It can’t be.”

Ethan snickered. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t touch you in public.”

“Good,” Max said, his eyes glimmering. “I wouldn’t want you to give me cooties.”

“Cooties, huh?”

“Yes,” Max said. He wrapped his arm around Ethan’s waist, pulling him closer to him. He rested his forehead against Ethan’s own and then took a deep breath. “You better give me cooties right now.”

He kissed Ethan on the mouth. Softly at first, his lips just pressing against Ethan’s own, then letting himself get lost in Ethan’s mouth. The kiss was long, perfectly warm, and it sent shivers down Ethan’s spine. There was something passionate about it, but the kiss didn’t necessarily feel sexual, though any contact from Max usually made his cock stand at full mast. Not this time, despite the fact that Max was practically dipping him back and kissing him softly on the mouth, never letting go of him.

Max stood up again and let go of Ethan. Ethan breathed out deeply when Max moved his hands away from him. “Did that work?”

“Did it work to do what?”

“You know,” Ethan said. “Give you cooties.”

Max giggled, which was weird. There was something very endearing about someone like Max giggling like a schoolboy. Ethan couldn’t stop himself. He pressed his lips against Max’s before Max could step away from him, kissing him just as deeply, just as softly as Max had kissed him.

Max’s eyes widened, then he kissed Ethan back, wrapping his arms around him again. Their bodies were pressed against each other’s, but Ethan didn’t push for more. He moved away from Max so he could catch his breath.

Max smiled at him. “What was that for?”

“You know,” Ethan said. “Just wanted to make sure I managed to give you cooties.”

“Fair enough,” Max said, his smile widening. “How about we go for that coffee, then?”

Ethan nodded. “Sure,” he said. “Sounds good.”

***

Ethan had watched as Alois stirred, yawning and opening his eyes. They were halfway through the trip, but Ethan’s head was already pounding. He’d had a bad feeling about this entire assignment, but he wouldn’t have been able to bow out without seriously affecting his career.

Alois had seemed to understand, but he had insisted on going with Ethan and now the date of their wedding had been pushed back. There was a chance that Alois was upset about their dates being moved, but he hadn’t seemed upset. He had seemed happy. He had seemed like he was going to enjoy their last assignment together—before they got married, of course. Alois hadn’t let Ethan forget about that.

When he’d opened his eyes, he’d smiled at Ethan. “Last time we’re on a plane together,” he’d said. “You know. As bachelors.”

Ethan had rolled his eyes. “Stop it,” he’d said.

“Last fight as bachelors,” Alois had said.

Ethan had raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, no,” he said. “I seriously doubt that.”

Alois had stuck his tongue out at him. “Last time you’re a snarky—”

“Don’t,” Ethan had replied, laughing and throwing his head back.

Alois furrowed his brow. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he’d said. “I’m always nervous before assignments like this.”

Alois had nodded. “Because your life is on the line, huh?”

“Yes,” he’d said. “And this is the first time I’m going to be there with a man, you know. One I’m sleeping with.”

“Nobody has to know that,” Alois had replied.

“Right,” Ethan had replied. “The problem is, I want everyone to know. I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to tell everyone that we’re together, you know?”

Alois had licked his lips. “Why?”

Ethan had smiled at him. “Because you’re out of my league,” he’d said. “And I want everyone to know just how well I did.”

“Don’t worry,” Alois had replied. “When we get home, you’ll get sick of talking about it.”

Ethan had kissed the top of Alois’ head. “I don’t know,” he said. “I kind of doubt I could get sick of talking about you.”

***

Ethan hadn’t expected to love the little coffee spot that Max had brought him to, a perfect mix of hipster and workspace. There was a little dark table close to the corner at the end and, to his surprise, there were servers in this café.

He knew that because Max had told him about it as they had walked through the door, Ethan walking right behind Max. He hadn’t reached out to touch Max because he didn’t think Max wanted them to be seen together in public. Not like they were more than friends, anyway.

Which he supposed they weren’t, Ethan thought, his mood darkening almost immediately. He hadn’t noticed that Max had pulled up a chair for him until Max cleared his throat. “Oh,” Ethan said. “Thank you.”

Max nodded. “Of course,” he said, furrowing his brow as Ethan sat down in front of him. “Just because you can’t be my fake boyfriend doesn’t mean I have to stop being a gentleman.”

Ethan laughed. “I never took you for a gentleman,” he said.

Max put his hand over his heart. “Just so you know, I’m offended.”

Ethan shook his head. “Ha-ha,” he said. After someone had taken their orders, Ethan set his gaze on Max. “Thank you for coming here with me.”

Max nodded. “I would have been an idiot not to come,” he replied. “I’ve missed you.”

Ethan swallowed, setting his gaze right on Max’s face. He had become familiar with it, with the way his dark eyelashes curled up like extensions, with the little wrinkles around his eyes. “I’ve missed you too,” he replied, surprised at how intense his voice sounded to his own ears.

Max smiled at him. “In every way?”

“Oh, yes,” Ethan said, licking his lips. “In every way.”

“Same here,” Max replied. There was a long silence between them before Max continued. “So your sister?”

Ethan didn’t want to reveal too much. Talking about his sister was always difficult, especially to people who were also in the public eye. People who might benefit from information which would hurt his family. “Things are complicated right now,” he said.

Max nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been learning that is often the case when it comes to politics.”

“You decided to run, after all?”

Max nodded again. Ethan could see that he was biting the inside of his mouth. “Let’s just say I took your impassioned pleas into consideration.”

“That means you did, doesn’t it?”

Max nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I want to make an impact. I want to do it as soon as I can.”

“That makes sense to me,” Ethan replied, his heart sinking into his stomach. This had to mean that Max had decided to get a boyfriend, after all. He had been clear when he had explained to Ethan that there was no chance he could win without one.

Max cocked his head. He seemed to notice Ethan’s expression. He cast his gaze down so he wasn’t looking at Ethan when he spoke. “That was why I was with Kelsey,” he said. “He wanted to talk campaign strategy.”

Ethan swallowed and stared at him, not saying anything. He didn’t want to ask him about his boyfriend, because he knew Max didn’t owe him an explanation.

Max smiled at him. “He wanted to introduce me to Fox,” he said.

“Fox? His cousin?” Ethan said, his eyes widening.

“Yes,” Max replied. “That’s right. Do you know him?”

Ethan was about to answer him when they were interrupted by their server putting their coffees in front of them. Ethan took a sip of his coffee before he replied. “Yes,” he said. “When Rosemary and Kelsey first started going out, about a decade ago, Kelsey insisted on introducing me.”

“Well, he’s gay,” Max replied with a snicker. “That must mean you two were going to be into each other.”

“Right?” Ethan said. “We did go out, by the way. After my sister insisted. She said I would be doing her a favor.”

Max raised his eyebrows. “And?”

“Disaster,” Ethan said. “How many times can someone worked they’ve gone to Harvard into a conversation?”

“I don’t know,” Max said.

“Yeah,” Ethan replied. “Neither did I.”

Max laughed. “Good,” he said. “That makes me feel better about what I said.”

“What did you say?”

“That I didn’t want to meet him,” Max replied plainly. He took a sip of his coffee as he stared right at Ethan, clearly waiting for him to react.

Ethan swallowed. He was trying to remain composed, but he couldn’t help but feel a tug at the corner of his lips. “But you’re going to lose.”

“I know,” Max said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I can try again. And people will know my name next time.”

Ethan blinked. “Wait,” he said. “That means Kelsey isn’t going to endorse.”

“Yes,” Max said, wrinkling his nose. “The governor made that very clear indeed.”

Ethan reached out to touch Max’s hand. There was a part of him that was telling him not to, but he couldn’t help himself. He put his hand on top of Max’s and Max looked up at him, his cheeks slightly red, his eyes a little narrow. “Sorry,” he said. “He can be a bit of a jerk.”

“Yes,” Max said, moving his hand upside down so their palms were touching. “He can be. He’s a politically savvy jerk, though.”

“That’s the truth,” Ethan said. He felt light-headed from Max’s touch, from the fact that they were touching in public, from the way Max was staring at him. He licked his lips before he spoke again. “Max.”

“What?”

“You should do it,” Ethan said. “You should get a fake boyfriend.”

Max shook his head. “Nah,” he said. “I don’t think so.”

Ethan wanted to ask him why not, why he was sacrificing his career for this. He knew what he wanted to hear. He just wasn’t sure if that was what Max was going to say.

Max spoke before Ethan could say anything. “I want a real boyfriend,” he said. He waited for Ethan to answer him, but Ethan couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

Max waited. He was patient, Ethan knew, and that part somehow made it worse.

Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. What could he possibly say? That he was going to be Max’s boyfriend? He barely felt equipped to be a fully functioning adult person. Being someone’s boyfriend—since Alois had died—had never even crossed his mind.

Not until then. Not until Max had been staring at him like this, not until Max had been holding him, not until Max had his skin on Ethan’s. Not until Ethan realized just how much he desperately needed him.

He sighed. “I get that,” he said. “I guess.”

Max cast his gaze down, but only for a second. “So I’ll run,” he said. “And then I’ll lose. And in a few years, I’ll run again, except this time—”

“You’ll have your perfect gay family?”

Max shrugged. “Or I won’t,” he said. “And I’ll keep losing.”

Ethan swallowed. “I hope you do,” he said. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Not win?”

Ethan smiled at him and shrugged. “I guess you deserve to win,” he said. “But mostly, you deserve to be happy. I think, if you want a family, you deserve a family.”

Max licked his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t think I’m the kind of person who gets to have a family.”

Ethan furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“Because,” Max said, staring right at him. “I have a type.”

“Married?” Ethan asked with a shaky smile. He was trying to break the tension between them, which had come on quickly. It felt thick and suffocating, like a sudden blanket of dust.

“No,” Max said, his expression schooling. “Just emotionally unavailable.”