Chapter 13
MAGGIE
I thought Las Vegas was one of the ugliest places I’d ever seen. Then I found Sunset Park. It had green grass and trees and even a lake with ducks. The colors were bright, popping out of the brown and gray like a rainbow. It reminded me of home and I was drawn to it like an artist to a beautiful painting, wanting and needing to suck the color from the scene into me.
Bronwyn didn’t get how I could sit in Sunset Park for longer than five minutes. She was always moving, always biking, always going somewhere. She’d left Hillstone behind long ago. I hadn’t quite managed yet.
“I’ve gotta get this package over to the medical district,” Bronwyn said, getting up from the bench and tossing her coffee cup in the trash. She gave Nico a quick peck. “See you later, babe.”
As Bronwyn pedaled away, I glanced at Nico. When I told them I’d found something amazing, they both agreed to meet me. They were less than impressed that my definition of amazing was green grass and no litter.
“Jay came into the diner yesterday,” I said. “Him and a policeman. Officer Ting. I waited on them.”
A wary expression crossed his still-healing face. “They were there together?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“No reason.” Nico spoke slowly, avoiding eye contact.
I angled toward him. “I’m surprised Jay has such a law-upholding friend.”
Nico scuffed at the grass under his feet.
“What with his line of work and all.”
Nico stared straight ahead. “No comment.”
Which said everything. I gaped. “But he’s a—”
“Sure is.”
I leaned back against the bench. Officer Ting was the loan shark. But how could that be? Did the other officers know? And why live that kind of double life—enforcing the law on one side, breaking it on the other?
“So you served them some food,” Nico said. “Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”
As if I’d dream of Jay. “Officer Ting was…rude.”
“I only met him the one time,” Nico said. He swung an arm over the back of the bench. “Thought I was gonna wet myself.”
“No kidding.” A bird circled overhead and I prayed it wouldn’t poop on me. I hadn’t been afraid of Officer Ting at the diner—more like angry. But knowing who he was and what he could do scared me. “What if you don’t pay him? What will he do? What will happen to you?” Would it be like the movies? Would Ting kill Nico? Dump him in the desert outside the city like on CSI? Or was I just being overdramatic?
He smiled, a thin thing. “I’ll be fine. He won’t get paid if I’m dead.”
Would a police officer go that far? Who was I kidding—he was dirty. He’d already crossed that line. Morality wasn’t a factor now, assuming he’d had any in the first place.
“I’m just…” I hesitated, knowing this would sound stupid. I barely knew Nico after all. “I’m scared for you.”
Nico’s smile went from thin to genuine. “Aw, that’s sweet.” He patted my head like I was twelve. “How about you loan me a few grand? Then you won’t have to be scared anymore.”
“If only I had that kind of money.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to go with plan B,” Nico said.
“What’s plan B?”
He shook his head. “No idea.”
After Nico left the park, I grabbed a book from my purse and started reading. My phone dinged with an email. I assumed it was from Fraze, I hadn’t heard from him in a while, though that wasn’t unusual. Looking at my phone, I was surprised to find an email from Hank.
To: Margaret Hale,
From: Hank Markham,
It’s been over a month since you walked away from me. I can’t stop thinking about it. Where we went wrong. Where I went wrong.
I shouldn’t have proposed so soon. I know that now, Maggie. You aren’t ready yet. You need to pursue your dreams. I get that. I do.
But why can’t you pursue them here in Hillstone? You could teach at the studio. I even talked to Miss Miriam about it. Please, Mags. I miss you so much. Please come home. For me. For your parents. Come home so we can go back to the way things were. There’s a hole in my life now where you used to be, and I can’t fill it without you.
I love you so much.
Yours, Hank
I stared at the email. Then read it again. Then tried really hard not to chuck my phone in the lake.
Hank wasn’t the one for me. He didn’t get me. And he never would if he thought I could somehow pursue my dreams in Hillstone.
Yet I still felt a pull. A pull to return to what I knew. To people who loved me. I had Bronwyn and Nico now, but I still felt like a trespasser in their lives. I was working at a diner and taking dance classes, but really, life wasn’t any better and way scarier here.
I still felt a pull to Hank, too. A yearning to be back in someone’s arms. To feel lips on my own. To have someone tell me that everything would be okay.
The pull was tough to ignore. Which is why I let out a string of curses, saying all the words I hadn’t been allowed to say growing up just so I wouldn’t hear the little voice in my head saying, just give up, you know you want to.
I did kind of want to. But I didn’t. But I did. No, didn’t.
Back in Hillstone, after I’d graduated high school, my life had been frozen. Here in Vegas, I had a chance for more, but so far, I wasn’t sure I liked where it was going.
To: Hank Markham,
From: Margaret Hale,
Thank you for what you said, but I can’t come home, Hank. I just can’t. I’m sorry.
You’ll be fine, I’m sure of it. I’m not who you thought I was. Heck, I’m not who I thought I was. You deserve someone who wants to live their life in Hillstone. Until then, know that I never wanted to hurt you and I’m sorry every day that I did. I know that doesn’t make it any better, but I do want you to be happy. One day, sooner than you think, you will be.
Maggie
I paced the floor outside Nico’s apartment, almost on the balls of my feet. From below, the voices of students in training created a low buzz, though not loud enough to drown out Bronwyn’s screaming or the sound of breaking glass, even behind the closed door.
“Are you trying to make me walk away?” Bronwyn shrieked. “Do you want to be alone, is that it?”
Something smashed against the wall and I flinched. I should have left. Bronwyn and Nico were in the middle of an epic fight. But I couldn’t go. Bronwyn had been there for me when I was at my lowest, I could be there for her, too. If she wanted me.
I’d stopped pacing and my feet were tapping, almost of their own volition. I took tap for a couple of years when I was younger but hadn’t kept with it. I’d always preferred whole body movements versus crazy feet. But I would still find myself shuffle-ball-changing in random places.
“It was one drink,” Nico shouted back. “Stop being such a—”
“One drink? One drink!” Another smash. “I’m not an idiot!”
“Bron—”
I closed my eyes. My feet moved through the audition piece I danced for EDT and soon I was doing it full out. The empty room outside Nico’s apartment was just big enough and I used every inch of space. I moved to the music in my head, punctuated by Bronwyn’s screams as if they were a drum beat.
“I’m so done with this!” she shouted as I pirouetted into a developé. The door slammed. My arms lowered and my feet stilled.
Bronwyn’s eyes met mine. Her face was streaked with tears. “What are you still doing here?” she snapped.
I wilted. “I was… Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Peachy.” She was down the stairs before I could respond.
I sighed. She didn’t need me after all. I grabbed my purse and went to Nico’s door. I knocked hesitantly.
“Bron?” Nico’s face was so full of hope when he opened the door, I hated to be the one to make it disappear.
“Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Behind him, broken glass littered the floor and spots of his brick walls were stained wet.
Nico scrubbed his black hair. He gave me a flat look. “Oh, I’m fine. Just redecorating.”
“Right, sorry.” I stepped back. “Well, if you need anything…”
His eyes dropped to the ground. “How about a broom?”
“Aren’t you a janitor?” It was out before I realized how insensitive that sounded.
He let out a short laugh. “Right. Thanks for reminding me.”
I shouldered my purse. “I’ll go. Call me if you need anything.” I started down the stairs.
“Hey,” he said and I turned. “Tell Bron I’m sorry.”
I nodded. Not that Bronwyn would listen to me. She was stubborn. If she was done with Nico, nothing would change her mind. Nor was I sure that I should say anything. I liked Nico, but I wasn’t sure he was the best boyfriend.
I stuck to the edge of the gym so as not to get in the way of the class. About twenty boys and girls, ranging from maybe five to eight, were sparring with each other on the mats. I couldn’t see their faces through their padded headgear, but their big red and black gloves didn’t stop moving, punching and jabbing and swinging.
I stopped to watch for a minute, smiling at how cute they looked trying to act like tough little fighters.
“And time!” the teacher called and I stiffened. “Switch partners.”
I hadn’t seen Jay Thornton when I first came into the gym. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. But he was there now, wearing shorts that were too short for a man and a t-shirt that strained across his chest. He was a mix of intimidating and ridiculous in his undersized clothes and shoulders as broad as the river that ran behind my house back in Hillstone.
Jay lifted a girl’s arms, showed her how to jab. Her head shook, like she was prepping herself, and then her arm shot out, hitting her partner’s glove so hard the other kid stumbled back. Jay smiled and backed off. The girl bounced on her toes and then went at it again, punching right and left and then giving her partner a turn. I watched the exchange go on several times back and forth.
“Are you interested in taking classes?”
I jumped. When had Jay gotten so close?
“No, thanks,” I said, keeping my eyes on the kids to avoid looking at him.
“Well, you always seem to be here, I just assumed…”
“Not my kind of thing,” I said, harsher than I meant. My eyes travelled from Jay’s chest to the tanned skin of his neck, to his curved lips, and finally to his eyes.
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re against learning how to protect yourself?”
“Do I need to protect myself?”
He shrugged. “It’s a good skill to have.”
“Yeah, around here…”
“Not just here, anywhere.”
A weird sound came out of my throat. “Where I’m from, a girl doesn’t worry about knowing how to punch a guy’s lights out, or accidentally wandering into a scene from Fight Club.”
“Sounds boring.”
My lips tightened. “Try safe. Or do you prefer a world where you’re always looking over your shoulder?”
Jay looked at his students. His shoulder brushed mine, a dark heat, and I inched away. “You haven’t lived here long, have you?”
“No.”
“If you’re so worried about your safety, why did you move to Vegas in the first place?”
I’d asked myself that more times than I could count. But I would never admit that Vegas wasn’t everything I’d imagined it would be, especially not to Jay Thornton. He’d just laugh. It was mostly because of him I was worried about my safety, anyway. Him and his boss. It wasn’t that he’d hurt me, necessarily, more that the people here weren’t what I was used to.
I looked at him. He looked at me. Chills and heat erupted over my body, like the beginnings of the flu.
His head tilted. “What are you doing here, Maggie?”
I swallowed. “Leaving,” I said. “That’s what I’m doing.” And I did just that.