Chapter 14
Zane
The golf course was the exact place I needed to be on this crisp fall day. Georgia had some of the best courses I’d ever played on, perfect for business deals and forgetting about emerald eyed women that stabbed you in the back. I was playing one of my best games all year, which of course tipped Kade off that something was wrong. I wasn’t one of those people that played worse when I was upset; I played a hell of a lot better. He followed me from hole to hole, just waiting and acting like nothing was wrong. Knowing Kade, he wouldn’t mention anything until we were in the clubhouse with drinks in hand.
As we climbed back in the cart after the last hole, he clapped me on the back. “Hell of a game, Zane. I think that’s the best round of golf you’ve ever played.” I waited for it. “So what the fuck is going on between you and Dillon?”
“You couldn’t let me get a drink in my hand first?”
He grinned. “That would make it too easy.”
“You’re an asshole,” I mumbled.
“I know, but you’re still going to tell me what’s going on. Did you have problems getting it up or something?”
I ignored him and focused my attention on not driving the cart into the river. “Why do you automatically assume that it’s an issue between me and Dillon? Maybe work is what’s bugging me.”
He settled back into the seat and rested his hands behind his head, like he didn’t have a fucking care in the world. “Is it?”
“No, but you don’t have to assume anything,” I said through gritted teeth.
The smug bastard just smirked at me.
“I’ve only seen you get like this with one other girl.” I glared at him. “We’ve been friends for a long time, Zane. It makes sense that Dillon’s getting under your skin.”
“Only because I found out I couldn’t trust her,” I growled. “I can’t wait until you find some chick that fucks your head up. I’m going to give you so much shit.”
“It won’t happen, but good attempt at deflecting.”
I counted to five in my head I didn’t punch my best friend in the face. “If I tell you what’s going on, will you leave me the fuck alone already?”
“Maybe. It’ll depend on your answer.”
I parked the golf cart and stared straight ahead. “Dillon is investigating me. She thought I was selling scripts to make a quick buck.”
“She thought?” he asked. “Past tense?”
Of course that’s what he picked up on. “Now she thinks that David is heading up the whole operation and he’s trying to set me up to take the fall.”
Kade leaned back in his seat and huffed out a breath. “You’re kidding me, right?”
I ran my hands up and down the steering wheel, letting the hot plastic burn my hands a little. Anything to clear my head. Maybe I should go to the gym and work off this excess energy. “I wish.”
“Why did she even tell you any of this?”
“We got…personal last night. I met her ex-husband; he’s a real fucking gem by the way. After we got back to her apartment, we talked about her past. She told me she’s an investigative journalist and I made the stupid mistake of asking her why she was writing a fluff piece on ESEC. Well, I interrogated her, not asked. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was a mistake.”
Kade was quiet for a minute. “She didn’t have to come clean. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s not supposed to unless there’s danger involved. She could probably get fired for telling you.”
“I don’t fucking care, Kade. She. Lied. She slept with me so she could get information. You really think she stuck around because she’s interested in starting up a relationship? I have a reputation, we both know that. Fuck!” I took a deep breath trying not to yell anymore. “So tell me, what other reason she would have to keep coming back?”
The look he gave me bordered on pity, which just pissed me off even more. “I don’t know Zane, but I do know that she didn’t have to tell you a fucking thing. She could’ve continued to fuck you and use you for information without saying anything. Who knows if that’s even what she’s actually doing?” He paused. “Do you really think she’s the kind of girl to sleep with you for a story?”
I laughed humorlessly and ran a hand through my hair. “That’s the thing, I don’t have a clue what kind of person she actually is. We’ve never spent time getting to know one another.”
Yes, being with Dillon had been effortless. She was smart, sexy, and all those ridiculous high heels made me crazy. I’d never been with any woman that I actually wanted to talk to, not just fuck though.
“I called her a conniving bitch,” I said wincing. “It wasn’t my best moment.”
He leaned forward and glared as he shook his head in disbelief.
“God, you’re a dick,” he mumbled. “Zane, this is the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time and you’re fucking this up. Bad. Dillon is good for you. She challenges you, which most people can’t do, and apparently she likes sex as much as you, which also isn’t an easy feat from the stories you tell. So why are you so hell bent on driving her away?”
“She lied.”
“We all lie,” he snapped. “Here’s the thing though, she came clean when she didn’t have to. Before any of this could come back and bite her in the ass. All that’s hurt is your fucking pride, so now you’re being an asshole because you hate that your feelings are hurt.”
I stopped fighting with him long enough to consider what he was saying. In all honesty, he was probably right. Dillon wasn’t required to tell me anything about her story. It would have been easier on her if she hadn’t. I ran my hands through my hair. None of that mattered though. I couldn’t trust her.
“What would you do if it was you?”
“I’ve never found someone like Dillon so I don’t know, but I would hope that if I was being as dumb as you, you would help set me straight. Zane, you didn’t just bring her to dinner the other night to show her off, quit lying to yourself. It’s okay to admit to yourself that you actually like this girl.”
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded. “Why aren’t you taking my side and railing about what a bitch she is?”
“Because Dillon isn’t Michelle.”
My heart pounded in my chest and I narrowed my eyes at him. That was a low blow. I hadn’t heard that name in a long damn time and if it were up to me, I could go the rest of my life without ever hearing it again. Kade watched me climb out of the cart and turn toward the parking lot.
“Are you pissed because I’m right, or because you know it’s true?” he yelled after me.
I threw my middle finger up over my shoulder and continued walking.
Fuck him.
Stella’s wheels spun out as I sped out of the parking lot. I was probably going to get a fine from the club for driving like an asshole, but I didn’t fucking care. I just needed to get away from Kade and all the shit racing around in my head.
* * *
Two days later and I was still biting everyone’s head off that looked at me crossways. The nurses were avoiding me like the plague. Even my normal scrub tech said that he refused to get in an OR with me until I got my head on straight.
Everyone could go fuck off.
I slammed the door behind me as I went into my office. Maybe that would keep everyone out. Sarah had raised an eyebrow at me when I’d stormed by a few minutes earlier without letting her eyes drift from her computer. Apparently she was as sick of my attitude as I was. I ran my hands through my hair. Something had to give, I was exhausted and miserable.
Why was I letting a woman I didn’t even care about control my mood? Dillon didn’t matter. She was just another piece of ass that was good while it lasted. I could stop the damn article if I wanted, go to her boss and tell him I knew everything. That would bring it to a screeching halt.
So why wasn’t I doing it?
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I resisted the urge to smash it against a wall. I grabbed it out of my pocket and answered without bothering to look at the screen. It was probably Kade calling to bitch at me some more.
“What the fuck do you want Kade?” I snapped.
“Nice to talk to you too, Zane.”
My jaw was going to pop out of place if I clenched it any harder. “What do you want, Dillon?”
“Give me ten minutes this afternoon and I’ll never bother you again. You can forget that I exist.”
Was that what I really wanted?
“Where?”
“The Honeymoon Café on 5th and Central. I’ll be waiting outside at four.”
“Did you ever consider that four might not work for me?”
“You don’t see patients past one on Friday’s so you can have one afternoon free during your week. You also don’t schedule any surgeries that morning for that same reason.”
She knew me. And for some reason that made the tightness in my chest that had been there for almost a week loosen a bit. Which confused the hell out of me. I felt a headache starting at the base of my skull.
“Fine, I’ll be there,” I relented.
Her voice softened. “Thank you, Zane.”
Damned if my head didn’t stop hurting when her voice dropped to that husky level. I hung up without responding. It was easier that way. I had five hours to pull myself together before seeing Dillon, and it would probably take every second between now and then to prepare myself.
* * *
I parked Stella on a side street and walked the few blocks to the café. It was hard to think she’d mentioned having coffee here a few days before everything happened. This was the kind of place I could see myself frequenting, which would never happen now if I thought I might run into Dillon. The cool air helped clear my head, so had the long run I’d taken after work. Now, if I had a shot of whiskey, I’d really be in business.
As I walked up I saw Dillon sitting at one of the small tables outside, facing away from me, giving me the advantage of studying her before we had to speak. She looked amazing in some long wrap dress thing and low boots. Two weeks ago I would’ve been imagining peeling it off her. But now, now I was shoving down those thoughts. I slowed my pace as I approached, making sure I had control of my cock before I sat down. Dillon shifted in her seat and I saw the dark circles ringing her eyes. Hope bloomed in my chest that maybe she was just as upset about all this as I was. She glanced up and gave me a weary smile as I settled in the seat across from her.
“Thank you for meeting me.”
“I didn’t have much choice, did I?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You did have a choice Zane, just like I did when I told you everything about my article. I didn’t twist your arm to get you here, so quit acting like a dick.” She sighed. “Can we please call a truce for the next ten minutes? After that we can be through with one another forever.”
“Fine. What was so important that you drug me down here?”
She sighed again and pulled a thick manila folder from her bag. “This is all of my research. Everything. I copied every single piece of information I have just so you know I’m not hiding anything. Even if we’re through I don’t want you to do jail time. I’m still writing this article, with or without you.”
“Nice to know.” I sounded…emotionless? Defeated? I couldn’t even tell anymore.
She took a deep breath. “I never slept with you for information, Zane. If you think back, I’m the one that said we shouldn’t sleep together at all.”
“You weren’t saying no when I had you bent over my desk.”
She closed her eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was upset or just ready to be through with me. “If you really think that’s the type of person I am, then fuck you, Zane. Sure, I might’ve crossed a few ethical lines when I chose to sleep with you, but I never used you.”
She looked away, clearly done arguing.
I cleared my throat. “When I was an undergrad I started dating this girl—Michelle Stafford. I fell hard for her. She was perfect for me—good family, impeccable social standing, smart—we wanted the same things in life, at least I thought we did.” I ran a hand over my forehead. “Things were just off after we announced that we were dating to our families. Everyone was pushing for us to get engaged so we could be this power couple.
She studied my face as I spoke and I stared at the brick building behind Dillon, unwilling to focus on her while I told my story.
“One day Michelle just disappeared, no word at all. Her phone went straight to voicemail and she never went back to her apartment. I thought something had happened to her. Two days later I found out that she’d moved in with one of my fraternity brothers. It took me longer than it should have, but I put two and two together. She’d used me to find someone with more social standing. She married a Kennedy because her family wanted political power. Michelle used me to get to him. ”
“I’m so sorry,” she said softly.
It took me a few seconds to gather myself. “Sometimes the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never explained.” I cleared my throat again and looked in her emerald eyes. “You used me, whether you meant to or not, you used me.”
Her eyes were damp with tears, but she didn’t allow them to fall. “If I did, than the difference is I didn’t mean to. People see me as a pretty face and a hot body, something tells me you never thought past my bra size.” She shook her head. “I opened up to you and told you about my past and my career, all the painful things that I keep hidden from the world, and what did I get in return? You called me a conniving bitch.”
I winced, but she continued on. “Woman who are strong willed and have a modicum of success in their careers all get that stigma. Yes, I’m unrelenting when I get an idea in my head, but I sure as fuck won’t apologize for achieving some pretty damn impressive things, to you or anyone else.”
She stood up and I grabbed her wrist.
“I am sorry for that.”
She snorted. “I bet you’re sorry for a lot of things, Zane. It doesn’t matter. You just proved to me why I should never open up to anyone.”
I let go of her wrist, but continued to meet her eye. “You deserve better than Travis.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re right, I do. I also deserve better than being called a bitch, but I doubt I’ll ever get it. Men are intimidated by a successful woman. I’m sorry if you think that I slept with you to get a story. That’s not what I did. My boss wanted me to from the beginning, but I didn’t.”
I wasn’t turned off by her success, if anything I was impressed, but I also knew I was in the minority. Her eyes were cold and unrelenting as she continued. “If I’m a bitch because I like to see my name in national newspapers, I’ll take it. I didn’t get to where I am by sleeping my way to the top though and I sure as hell don’t plan to start now. Just keep an eye out for my byline because it’ll be the one that causes the cops to knock on your door.”
I watched as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and left me staring after her as she walked away. I ran my hands through my hair and huffed out a breath. Dillon was right; I was a bastard, but I could admit that I’d crossed a line by insinuating she’d slept with me for a story. She was doing her job, and our attraction to one another had nothing to do with that.
I opened the folder in front of me and tried to focus on the words in front of me. She was trying to keep my ass out of jail. The least I could do was see if I could help her.