Chapter Fifteen
Mia
He moves on top of me and my heart kicks up a few speeds.
I push against his chest, turning my face away from him when he tries to kiss me again. "Vince, get off me. Come on."
His hand moves between us and he rubs me through the fabric of my panties. "Remember that talk we had about you not being the boss of me this time?"
I roll my eyes and go to shove his hand away, but he pins my arms down at my sides and fearful arousal moves through my idiotic body. "This hardly counts," I tell him. “I don't want to boss you around, I'm simply telling you I don't want to have sex."
"You like to have sex."
"Yep—with your cousin."
His eyes narrow at that. I don't know why I'm trying to piss him off. It's probably not the best way to get him to stop. God, he brings out the bitchiest side of me. "Sorry," I say, considering his current position hovering above my body, half naked and aroused. "That slipped out."
"Why do you like to be mean to me?" Vince asks.
Because you let me. I don't say that, obviously, but the thought skates across my mind. I don't even like it, it's just true. Vince is too soft for me. I’m soft; I need a harder man like Mateo to complement me. I can never be good to Vince. I don’t even know why, I just can’t, no matter how hard I try. He doesn’t hold my interest. Mateo holds my interest like he holds my hair when he fucks me—with a firm fucking grip.
"Jessica wants to fuck you," I say, instead of answering. Maybe I can divert his interest, distract him. Maybe I can get us back to talking. Focus his interest on someone else.
"I know," he says, casually.
"You know?"
"Of course. You think I don't know when a woman wants to fuck me?"
I shrug my shoulders a little. "I've only ever known you with me."
This seems to amuse him. "Maybe that's the problem.” He swoops in, leaving a few kisses along my neck and whispers near my ear, “You want me to tell you about the other women I've fucked since you, Mia?"
Anger shoots through me and I shove my arms against him, trying to get free. "Don't you dare."
He smirks. "Why? Thought it didn’t bother you?"
It shouldn't, but it does. Not because I want him; I only want Mateo, there's just something wrong with my brain—it's stuck in possessive mode with Vince. I was always free to be possessive over him, then he was just gone and I never had to witness him moving on. I never had to think about him fucking someone else, because I was fucking someone else. I wanted his happiness; I just didn’t want to see it. Now, here, in bed with him, his body on top of mine in this shadow of intimacy, it feels wrong.
"Get off me," I tell him, pushing against his hands again.
Instead he pushes his cock between my legs. I'm only covered by a thin scrap of pink lace, and the pressure of him against me gets a response. Blood rushes through my veins, drowning out my momentary pangs of jealousy. "Please, Vince. I mean it, get off me."
"He's going to assume I fucked you if he ever catches us, Mia. He'll never believe I didn't."
My heart hammers in my chest. It's not like I haven't considered that. I have, a lot. It always turns sexual in my head though. Mateo never kills me. Maybe he even wants to, but he can't. Instead, he takes his aggressions out on me and lets me make it up to him.
Shit, now mental flashes of making amends to Mateo have me throbbing. Fuck. I need to bring this train to an abrupt halt before I lose control. My mind searches for something awful to fling at him, something that will kill his desire, make him stop wanting me. I never stumbled across any of his extreme turn-offs in our time together.
He releases one of my hands to reach between my legs, pushing a finger up under my panties.
“Vince!” I say again, trying to squeeze my legs together. “Seriously, you have to—”
His finger breaches my entrance and a slow smile claims his lips when the wetness there makes the passage easy.
“That’s not for you,” I inform him, flushing.
“Uh huh,” he says, unconvinced. “Your pussy sure is ready for me, Mia. What was that about it belonging to him?”
“Every inch of me belongs to him,” I tell Vince firmly, expecting it to either piss him off or cool his passions.
Instead, he looks amused. “Well, maybe it brings me pleasure to fuck Mateo’s property—the same way he enjoyed fucking you when you were mine. What do you think about that, Mia? Think it’s time to even the score?”
“This isn’t a game,” I tell him, gasping as he pushes a second finger inside of me, pushing deep. “Please stop, Vince. You’re going to get us both in so much trouble.”
“You were in trouble as soon as you left that bakery with me,” he states. “You knew better. You went anyway. Maybe life’s gotten a little too calm for you, Mia. Maybe you craved a little danger.”
“I didn’t,” I tell him, shaking my head. “I missed you when you were gone and I was happy to see you. I assumed you had moved on with your life. Trust me; if I’d have known you would take me away from Mateo, I would have called Adrian myself.”
Vince shakes his head, but he’s looking at me tenderly. “You still see the best in people. It’s gonna get you killed someday if you ever get away from me, you know.”
“I’d rather die with Mateo than live with you.”
That’s it.
His face falls, my stomach plummets, and I feel like a monster, but how can he possibly want to fuck me after that? I’m doing us both a favor here.
Or, I thought I was.
But then he gets mean. His warm brown eyes go hot with rage. I’m taken completely off guard as he withdraws his fingers and moves down my body, dragging the panties down my legs.
Fuck. I’m out of practice with Vince, I’m calibrated to Mateo’s moods now, but I definitely took the wrong approach.
“Vince, no,” I say, panic surging through my veins. I try to kick him away, but his hands are like shackles on my ankles as he yanks the flimsy lace off and tosses it on the floor behind him. “Vince, wait, please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. Let’s just keep talking. Talking to you is nice. Please stop.”
“No, Mia. You want me to be a fucking asshole? I’ll be a fucking asshole.”
“No, that’s not what I want. I’m sorry. Please, Vince, I’m begging you—”
“Go ahead and fucking beg me, Mia. Beg me like you beg him. I don’t give a single fuck. Whether you want to be here or not, whether you want to be mine or not, you are. So you might as well fucking accept it and stop being such a bitch.”
I can tell he’s done talking to me now. I can tell there’s no point asking him not to, because this isn’t lust anymore—it’s punishment. My only shot at stopping him is to calm him down, and I don’t have enough time.
I still try one more time as he wrenches my thighs apart and plants himself between them. “Vince, please don’t be this guy. You don’t want to be this guy.”
He looks into my eyes, but his are glacial. “Fuck you, Mia.”
Then he pushes forward, burying himself inside my body with one long, forceful thrust. I cry out with a mixture of frustration and anger, slamming my fist into his shoulder. “Goddammit, Vince!”
He grabs my arms and pushes them down at my sides, watching my face as he moves inside my body. “This isn’t how I wanted this to happen.” He doesn’t sound the least bit remorseful—he’s still pissed. He’s just telling me, like a fucking afterthought.
“Well, I hope it’s worth it.” My breath hitches as he moves deep. “Because you’re going to fucking die for this.”
Nodding like he already knows that, he pumps into me again, a little more brutally this time. “Better get my money’s worth then, huh?”
I loathe that even now, with him still inside me, wanting to punish me, to hurt me, I want to protect this asshole. But I do.
“Please stop, Vince. I don’t want you to die and I can’t lie to him.”
“Oh, I’m not stopping, Mia. I’m going to fuck you until I’m good and done, and I’m going to finish inside you just like he did when he fucked you in my goddamn bed. I’m going to keep doing it every fucking night, and every fucking morning. Maybe you’d rather let him kill you than spend your life with me, but guess what, baby? You don’t get to choose this time.”
---
I'm still half-asleep when he starts stroking my pussy. A jolt of pleasure bleeds into my half-dream, half-awake state and I move my legs instinctively to give him better access. He doesn’t reward me though. Usually he rewards me, nudging his thumb against my clit, or moving his amazing body on top of mine so I can watch his handsome face while he finger fucks me before we get to the real deal. I want him to roll me over, grab a fistful of hair, and kiss me like the hours of sleep that kept us from each other have made him ravenous. Whatever this is, it’s wrong. He’s not touching me like he normally does. This doesn’t feel right.
It seems too bright outside, too. My eyes are still closed but Mateo starts his day early; ordinarily when he gives me my morning fuck, it's still dark outside. When he finishes with me and heads to the shower or the gym, I get to roll back over on my sheets that smell like him and go back to sleep.
But it's bright. It shouldn't be so bright.
My eyes open, a cloud of dread already hanging over me. Then I see the foreign sight of Vince's bedroom at his dad's house and I realize why. I realize being awake sucks, because being awake means the fingers currently fondling me do not belong to the man I love, but my fucking ex-boyfriend.
"Vince, stop." I reach down to shove his hand away, but now that he knows I'm awake, he only moves closer. My words fall on deaf ears, but I try anyway. “Please stop touching me.”
Without a word, he turns me from my side onto my stomach and wrenches my legs apart.
"Vince, please, not again." He never used to be much for morning sex. I can count on one hand how many times we had it when we were together, and I was sort of hoping last night would be a one-time thing. Maybe since I had begged him not to do it, he would feel guilty today.
That does not seem to be the case. I'm too tired for this shit. Instead of accepting the inevitability of Vince fucking me again, I twist around, pull up my feet, and attempt to kick him away from me. He neatly catches my ankles, holding them apart and planting himself firmly between my legs. He didn't bother to put his boxers back on last night, but I'm still wearing my bra and panties. Once he finished with me last night I locked myself in the bathroom. I expected him to care a little bit, but the asshole stayed in bed and ignored me. I thought he fell asleep and I was tired of sitting in the bathroom floor so I eventually crept out and went to his closet to steal one of his t-shirts, thinking maybe I could sneak out while he slept. Without rolling over, he told me to get my ass back in bed.
So I did. He pulled a Mateo and made me cuddle with him afterward. The men in this family are a special strain of asshole, I swear to God.
And now here we are.
I attempt to bring my knees together, reaching down to push him away from me. "I mean it, Vince. Stop."
"If you're just going to be a pain in the ass, I'm going to turn you back over and shove your face into the pillow."
"If you're going to fuck me when I ask you not to, at least have the common courtesy to wear a condom," I fling back.
Rolling his eyes, he grabs my hips and rolls me over. I huff as I go face first into the pillow. "Like he used a condom when you were mine? Nah, I think I'll pass."
"I don't know where you've been," I shoot back, trying again to kick him, but it's even more awkward from this angle.
That makes him chuckle. "My offer stands; I can tell you all about it."
"Fuck off." I shove at him so more, attempt to get away, to get him to knock it off, but I fail on all counts. He’s inside me again and my stomach sinks. I pound a fist against the pillow he shoved my face into. I want to scratch his fucking face off.
Last night I was more confused and scared, but right now I’m still ensnared by the mistaken thought that I woke up next to Mateo. I miss him every minute, but right now it hurts. I’ve managed to keep my focus for a good part of this godforsaken experience, but now as I close my eyes, I can see it. I can see Mateo in bed next to me giving me the tender smile he reserves only for me. I have his love. Nothing can take it away from me. I’m safe in my bed and none of this shit ever happened.
That’s not my reality anymore. Vince shattered it. He fucked me in more ways than one, and I don’t know what happens after this. My insides feel heavy at the thought of never having it again. What if Vince ruined everything? What if I can’t make this up to Mateo? What if this ruins me for him?
I’ve never had this much to lose before. The stakes have never been this high.
I need to get back to Mateo. I’m afraid of the consequences of all this, but I need to get back to him regardless. Beside him is where I belong. It’s where I’ve always belonged.