Chapter 8

Trecia Wilson

I had the day from absolute hell and Hazard just comes in and yells at me in front of everyone, like a goddamn mad man. That shit would not fly. I don’t care if it looked like his top was about to blow, I was about to blow with him talking to me like that.
“Hazard,” I called as I stood up from the couch. “I do not know who the hell you think you are—”
“Where is your phone?” His voice was etched with agitation and frustration beyond his normal sanity.
If that were possible.
However, I wasn’t sure if it was my crazy day or the fact he completely embarrassed me in front of everybody in the day room. An awkward heat shaded my face with shame and public humiliation. If we weren’t in a relationship, I would have reamed his ass completely out. However, to preserve what respect I had left, I rolled my eyes, turned on my heel and walked out of the station.
I needed space.
I needed a two by four to beat his head in.
Well, I really just needed space.
I had the absolute day from hell. The building I was getting my birth control shot caught fire with me lying on the table, shirt off, needle barely in my arm. I made it back to the station, but this was the greeting I receive? He lost his damn mind and I really, really did not have time for it. I told him over and over again to take anger management classes. I urged him to try yoga, so he could center himself or even meditation, but Hazard would only do it if I did it. However, that was not nearly enough.
I couldn’t believe Hazard was yelling at me like a fucking buffoon.
Using my own techniques to calm down, I found the local library and went to the back where no one could see me doing my breathing exercises. This calmed my anger, but it was still simmering. Thank goodness, he did not follow me, because I swear on everything, he would have saw the Brooklyn version of Trecia before she became the professional.
The rest of the day, I steered clear but there was an unease in the atmosphere at the station. I couldn’t tell if it was just my tension with Hazard or something else that happened while I was gone. Since I was there late, I worked with the Chief and his wife, via Skype and Sub with his phantom future wife. He would not tell me who she was, but I assumed it was someone that I either knew or the other guys did. Like a sister of theirs, I could see why he didn’t want to share. But why they mistook my mediation skills for that of a counselor, I did not know.
Hazard did not try to speak to me even when I left, which hurt me more than I anticipated. For the past four weeks, we were getting along so well. Going on trips, hanging out, and binge-watching movies and tv shows during our off time. It was amazing and scary, which maybe, was where today came from with him. If I was scared, he had to be equally terrified. He shared with me about his ex, Justine, and that nonsense. The amount of loss he encountered with his father and how the chief stepped up in his life. it all confirmed he had a lot of anger, both misplaced and unchecked.
However, the question I had to ask myself when that anger came to a boil, was if I was willing to go through that with him. I never saw him as a physical threat. But when Toad said the wrong thing, Hazard was hitting first and never asking questions later. It’s his automatic. That shit would not fly.
I kept looking for my phone and realized, I left it on the table in the doctor’s office, which was not consumed by fire from this morning. I couldn’t believe how fast I threw on my blouse and ran down the fourteen flights of stairs. It was not ideal but by the time we got out, the flames were blasting out of the windows. There was no reason to stay around since I was already late but it was traumatic and that’s what I was sharing with Synergy, the new female firefighter. She was cool, so I knew I’d like her and what she would bring to Station 71.
The next day, I rescheduled my doctor’s appointment at another clinic in Brooklyn, so I could get the necessary shot. The great news was I wouldn’t have to see Hazard tomorrow or his ace, Rex, because they were off. God bless the station’s unusual schedules. It sucked when I liked seeing certain people consistently, but it was nice to have some peace while at work. Sometimes it was good not seeing Hazard just for my own peace of mind. Now, it looked like I wouldn’t have to worry about that either.
By the end of the week, not only had I not seen Hazard, I hadn’t heard from him either. In my head, it was a done deal. I only had one week left at Station 71. Granted, my chest hurt, but I would get over it, like I did the last one and the one after. Axel Hazard was a man and as my mom said, he knocked off the cobwebs and we were back to business.
I was okay.
Well, I would be okay.
Why the tears kept me up at night, I didn’t know, because I told myself not to cry. Not after only four weeks. Not over good sex. Not over great compatibility. Not over maybe I reacted too harshly. What were we even fighting about?
Fuck.
At least three times a day, I wanted to call him and apologize but my pride wouldn’t let me. It just wouldn’t. I was not in the wrong.
I wasn’t.
Therefore, I wouldn’t.
I could hear my grandma in my ear whispering, “Don’t cut off your nose, to spite your face.”