I put my trust in Zig, settling into a routine over the next few days that I never would have fathomed just a few weeks ago. The apartments Mama Bear kept in the back of the clubhouse were cozy, comfortable, and I welcomed the surface simplicity of life with the Dark Saints. But I knew it was exactly that. Though every member I’d met had been rough but charming, there was a deeper, darker turmoil brewing that Zig tried to keep me shielded from. Once again, I was surrounded by people who didn’t want me to know the complete truth. I’d traded one secret for another.

If any of Zig’s club brothers caught on to what happened between us, they showed no signs of it. Still, Mama Bear kept a close eye on me. I helped her keep the small bar running. It served only club members and those who wanted to be club members. I quickly learned the hierarchy. There were the prospects, or probies, like Moose and Toby. They were close to being offered a patch as official members. Then there were any number of hangers-on, younger men and sometimes boys who did odd jobs around the clubhouse and mainly worked in the salvage yard the Bullocks ran.

Zig stayed away most of the day, checking on me before he left to do club business in the morning. He was usually back just after three or four. That was the clubhouse’s quiet time before the rest of the crew came back in the evening from whatever jobs Bear had sent them on. Then they’d unwind in the bar/game room, drinking, playing pool, and sometimes heading into the back conference room when Bear gave them a look.

For my part, my life was in limbo. I’d emailed the dean and taken a leave of absence from school. It wasn’t safe for me there until the Saints had neutralized whoever tried to kill me. Plus, my heart wasn’t in it. In anger, Zig had told me my father’s blood money covered my tuition. I knew it was true. I’d probably always known it on some level. But until things were settled with my family, I couldn’t go back to L.M.C.

“You sure you’re doing okay?” Mama Bear asked me on the sixth night of my stay here. I was behind the bar, filling draft beer pitchers. The main crew had come back from a run near the Mexican border. That’s as much information as anyone would tell me. Zig never said so specifically, but I knew he thought I was better off not knowing the details of what happened on those runs.

It seemed a casual question. The kind of thing you say to any guest in your home. But Mama Bear leaned over and put a hand on my wrist.

I gave her a weak smile. “As opposed to what?”

I knew what she meant. I’d allowed myself to live in a kind of cocoon of oblivion over the last few days. My mother had tried to reach me but I’d avoided her. Georgio and even Joey had called but they were the last two I wanted to talk to. Though I’d more or less accepted the truths Zig told me about my father’s business, I didn’t feel quite ready to deal with the rest of my family just yet.

Then there was Zig. I came alive when he was nearby. I tried to tell myself it was just the novelty of what we’d shared. It was just some sort of giddy crush. No matter where he was in the room, my thoughts tended to orbit around him. When he got close to me, my hair stood on end and my whole body flushed with desire. It got harder and harder to hide.

We’d been so careful. Being with me could cause him just as much trouble with his club family as it would my blood family. I also tried to convince myself that was part of the attraction. Zig Wallace was the ultimate forbidden fruit. My desire for him had to stem from that. Except there was a tiny part of my heart that tried to tell me otherwise.

All my life, I’d been surrounded by strong, forceful men. My father, my older brothers. Yet every one of them had lied to me in one way or another. Only Zig had the courage to tell me the truth, no matter how much it might hurt me. And when I’d faced the greatest threat of my life, it had been Zig who’d thrown his body in front of me, ready to defend me with his life.

Mama Bear peered closer, tilting her head so she could see my eyes. I gave her a forced smile. Zig sat at the other end of the room at a round table. Shep, Deacon, and Benz were with him. The pitcher of beer I filled was for them. I moved to bring it to them but Mama Bear snapped her fingers and one of the younger boys hopped off his stool and took it from me.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” she said to me. “I know it must seem like we’re holding you prisoner here.”

I grabbed a towel from a hook on the wall and started to wipe the counter. I needed something to do with my hands. “Are you?” I asked, smiling. I stopped short of saying her name. In my head, she was Mama Bear like everyone else called her. But it didn’t feel natural for me to say that out loud. Her real name was Josie but I’d only ever heard her husband address her as such. It felt far too intimate and presumptuous for me to use it and Mrs. Bullock just didn’t suit at all.

“No,” she answered. “Honey. God, no. You can leave anytime you’d like. But you’ve been through a lot. I know a little bit about what that’s like.”

I stopped wiping the counter and looked at her. My eyes went to a tattoo she had just below her right shoulder. Winged serpents around a scepter. Zig had told me she’d been an army combat medic in her former life.

“It’s easier here,” I said. This woman had a particular brand of magic. She was so different from my own mother and yet, they had a similar strength that captivated me. For Christine DiSalvo, appearances mattered more than anything. They’d both survived hardships I could only imagine. My mother had to have known what my father was from the very beginning, just like Josie did with Bear. My mother kept her children close. For Josie, the club members were her children. Each of them demanded absolute loyalty and would cut any traitors off at the knees.

“Easier how?” she asked.

I wanted to tell her it was because nobody lies. But that would be a lie. Zig and I were hiding something from her. It happened every evening, just before the rest of the crew started grumbling for dinner. Most days, Josie fed them all or arranged for takeout to be delivered to anyone who lingered in the clubhouse. There was chaos then, as some of the men started to drink and tell war stories about their day. I knew that was my cue to leave. This was club talk. They knew I was important to them because of who my father was, but none of it was for my ears. So I’d steal away, back to the apartments. Mama Bear had put me in the very last one with the outside wall and window overlooking the woods.

Then Zig would find me.

Sometimes our coupling was brief. If Bear called a meeting, we only had a few stolen moments with each other. Those were always the most intense. I would have just enough time to close the door before Zig was on me, pinning me against the wall as I wriggled out of my jeans and Zig unzipped his fly. God, he was always hard for me. Just a kiss of my breath against his ear and his lusty growl made my sex throb. He would fuck me hard and quick, but every time, he found me hungry, eager, and dripping wet for him.

“I guess other people’s family drama never seems as complicated as your own,” I answered Mama Bear. Her face cracked into a wide smile and she patted my arm.

“Well,” she said. “I’d love to stand here and tell ya yours probably isn’t as bad as you think it is. But that’d be a damn lie.”

Her hearty laugh filled the bar and drew the attention of the others. Zig didn’t look my way. He sat in profile; lifting his beer to his lips he kept his gaze focused on Deacon across from him. Heat pooled between my legs. It meant he was thinking about me, maybe burning for me. He wouldn’t chance a glance my way for fear the others would be on to him. I cleared my throat and moved away from Mama Bear. In another ten minutes or so, the pre-dinner chaos would start and Zig would be mine.

“You going to join us for supper tonight?” Josie asked. “Maddox is coming back with pizzas. I was out of ideas for dinner and he stepped up.”

My stomach let out a traitorous growl. It seemed I was hungry for a lot of things. “I just might,” I answered. “Tell them to save a couple of slices for me. I think I’m going to catch a shower first.”

Josie raised a brow. “Okay, but I make no promises. These boys turn into a pack of damn wolves.”

Laughing, I waved back at her. “Oh, I’ve seen them in action. Don’t forget I was also raised in a Sicilian family with four older brothers. I’m pretty sure I can hold my own.”

Mama Bear agreed as she pointed a finger back at Shep. He’d heard her comment and had thrown his head back to give her a creditable, full-throated howl. It earned him a round of laughter and ribbing from the rest of the guys. I ducked around the corner just as Mama Bear lobbed an ice cube at her son’s head. Their strong laughter danced along my spine as I made my way down the hall to the relative quiet of my temporary home.

My heart was already racing by the time I shut the door. The Dark Saints were in a particularly raucous mood tonight. Of course, Zig would never tell me all the details, but whatever trouble they’d had in Dallas a few nights ago, they’d squelched it in some sort of big way. Maddox had turned up with a deep gash over his right eye that Mama Bear stitched up for him. A couple of nights later, Benz, Axle, and Domino came back with scraped fists.

I leaned against the door, chest heaving. He would come. It would only be a few minutes. I gasped in anticipation, feeling the now familiar, driving pulse between my legs. I was wet for him. Sliding my hands down the slope of my belly, I dipped a finger inside of me. God. I was hot, swollen, weak in the knees.

I took off everything but my matching black panties and bra. Heading for the bathroom, I turned on the bathtub faucet. Anyone happening by would hear the water running and assume I’d done just as I told Mama Bear I would. I don’t know how Zig did it. He swore none of the other guys ever noticed he was gone. I wondered. Perhaps I’d grown paranoid, but sometimes I caught a stare from Domino or Deacon. The rest of them were polite, but viewed me as more of a curiosity than anything else. I was a museum piece, almost. Gino DiSalvo’s precious family heirloom. I was to be protected, revered, but they kept me at arm’s length.

I heard the door close softly as I swirled my hand in the warm, soapy water. I sat perched on the edge of the tub as the room filled with steam. Zig’s heavy boots made the floorboards vibrate as he walked down the hall. My pulse hammered in my ear and my breath caught as a shadow fell across the white tiled floor.

Zig came up behind me, sliding his hands over my shoulders. Gooseflesh rose instantly and I leaned my head back. He kept going. I turned so I sat facing him, gripping the sides of the tub. Zig towered over me, a large, dark presence in his black t-shirt and jeans.

“I hate this,” he said, his voice thick with desire. “Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to touch you today. Even just kiss you?”

“You’re touching me now.” I looked up at him as I fumbled with his belt buckle. The sizeable bulge beneath his jeans sent my heart racing. My legs quivered as I balanced on the tub’s edge. Only Zig’s hands as he laced his fingers through my hair kept me steady.

Slowly, I unzipped his fly, slid my hand inside, and freed his massive cock.

“Gina,” he whispered, his voice ragged. I peeled back the waistband of his boxers so his pants dropped to his knees. I could see his chiseled ass in the mirror and I ran my hands over it, pulling him closer. Zig’s cock bobbed just in front of my face and I licked the tip, loving the way his head fell back.

“Baby.”

He said other things but I didn’t listen. I opened my mouth and took in the length of him. He filled me, hitting the back of my throat. I gagged at first, but quickly adjusted. God. That’s how everything seemed to go with Zig and me. He brought me to new heights, made me try things I never dared to dream of even a few weeks ago. I’d saved myself for so long, denied myself for so long. With Zig, I felt like anything was possible. I knew the other people in my life, my mother, my brothers, my friends back at L.M.C. would think he’d turned me into a different person. But that wasn’t true. Instead, Zig had helped me unlock who I really was. For far too long I’d gone along, turning a blind eye to all of the secrets and lies everyone around me told. Now I had my eyes wide open and I wasn’t afraid.

I kept my eyes open now as I sucked Zig’s cock. It drove him wild with lust and his ass shook in my hands as he struggled to hold himself back. I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to let go and fill me. My own sex throbbed, swollen with desire for him. I quickened my pace, knowing he couldn’t stay long. I just hoped I’d be able to pull myself together afterward and face the rest of the Dark Saints crew. Would they be able to read everything we’d done in my expression?

Zig leaned over and turned off the water while I kept myself fastened around him, sucking and swirling, setting a greedy rhythm that almost brought him to his knees.

“God,” he gasped. “Fuck. Gina. Don’t stop.”

I wouldn’t. Not for anything. Reaching down, I cupped his balls. They were so heavy, so full. Zig clutched at the towel rack to steady himself. He was ready to blow. Heated blood rushed to his dick and he tightened and twitched in my mouth.

He must have reached for the shower curtain. The plastic curtain rings rained down around us as he pulled it loose. Zig took a staggering step back, popping himself out of my mouth. He threw the curtain aside and came for me.

One look, and I knew exactly what Zig wanted. Desire coursed through me as I grabbed a towel and spread it on the floor. Then I went to my hands and knees as Zig positioned himself behind me. He tore my panties off with one quick motion that made me gasp. Then he worked my swollen cleft with his fingers, preparing me for him. But I was aching for him to fill me.

“Zig!” I gasped, not daring to raise my voice more than a whisper. The walls of the Dark Saints clubhouse could be very thin indeed. Just last night, Kade had stayed in the apartment next to mine and brought a woman with him. The sounds of their lovemaking went late into the night.

Zig stroked himself and put a hand on my ass, steadying me. Then he thrust himself inside of me from behind, stretching me wide. I bit my bottom lip to keep from screaming with pleasure the way I wanted. Zig kept stroking my clit between two fingers as he started to thrust. I felt the fullness of his balls against me and knew he wouldn’t last long at all. Neither would I. Zig knew exactly how to work me.

“Come!” he ordered. Oh God, I did. I dropped down, resting my chin on the floor. My orgasm shuddered through me as Zig kept up his merciless strokes on my sensitive little bud. He opened me to him, commanding my body to respond to his. Owning me. Claiming me again and again. But I claimed him too. With each thrust, Zig whispered my name. His hot seed filled me and I opened for him even wider.

Then Zig leaned forward; curving his body around mine, he pulled me to him. We lay side by side on the bathroom floor as the last waves of my orgasm thundered through me. Zig put soft kisses between my shoulder blades, sending even more shivers of pleasure through me.

“Baby,” he whispered. “God. Baby.”

When I found the strength, I turned toward him. Zig slid out of me. I reached up and ran my fingers along his jaw. Oh, how I wished he could just sweep me up and carry me to bed. More than anything, I wanted to sleep beside him and be there when he woke in the morning.

Zig’s face fell as if he could read my thoughts. He kissed me. “I gotta—”

I silenced him with a kiss of my own. “I know. You’ve gotta get out of here.”

He sat up and helped me to do the same. My legs were rubbery as I gathered the towel around me and Zig zipped his pants. He held his hand out for me as he got up.

“You sure no one saw you come back here?” I asked, smoothing my hair back. I’d never even taken off my bra but my underwear lay in a tattered heap on the floor.

“I’m sure,” he said. “You know I hate sneaking around like this. It won’t be forever, baby. I’ll figure something out.”

I let out a sigh as something rose between us. It always ended like this. Our stolen moments faded away and we had to walk out the door to the real world. Well, at least for Zig it was. For me, I knew I was living in a sort of cocoon, hidden away from all of the things I knew I had to face sooner or later. I also knew my presence here in the clubhouse was causing tension both among Zig’s brothers and with my family.

He kissed my forehead and pulled me close. “Get dressed,” he said. “Mama’s going to start asking after you.”

“You really think she doesn’t know what’s going on?” Looking in the mirror, I ran a finger beneath my eyes to smooth out my eyeliner. I unhooked my bra and cast it aside. My face looked flushed, my nipples dark. God, to me, the telltale heat of my desire seemed obvious. I banked on the fact the others didn’t know me well enough to pick up on it.

Zig came behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. In the mirror, I watched his eyes travel to my tits. Not five minutes had passed since I climaxed but just that one glance and he had me revving up all over again.

“No!” I said, turning. I pressed a flat palm against Zig’s chest and shoved him backward. “I need to get dressed.”

“Well,” Zig said. “She’s going to know something if you walk out there like that. You came in here to take a shower, remember? Your hair’s dry.”

“Oh shit, right. Well, you get going and I’ll make it look legit.”

Zig’s expression darkened. “I mean it. I’m going to figure something out for us. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about something. Tomorrow we’ve got church.”

Church to Zig meant something different than it did for me. It was what he called club meetings. Only full members of the Dark Saints could attend. Not even Mama Bear knew what went on during them.

I walked into the bedroom and grabbed a fresh bra and panties. Tying my hair into a bun, I used the spray bottle I kept on the dresser to wet it so the others would think I was fresh from the shower. I threw on a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

“Well,” I said, turning to face him. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

Zig came to me; hooking a finger beneath my chin he tilted my head until I met his gaze. His blue eyes flashed dark and he smiled down at me.

“I’m cooking up a plan to have you transferred to my place.”

“Have me transferred? You make it sound like I’m going into gen pop from solitary.”

Zig narrowed his eyes but his smile widened. “Yeah. Okay. That came out wrong. But I’m thinking the last place anyone’s going to look for you is my house. It’s not big, but it’s peaceful. I’ve got a gulf view. It’s back near the old navy yard.”

It was tempting. God, it sounded like heaven. I could hide away, just Zig and me. We wouldn’t have to sneak around and I could fall asleep and wake up in his arms. It would have been so easy to say yes, but I knew I couldn’t. Zig read my answer from the expression on my face and he took a step back.

I reached for him, caressing his cheek. “Baby, listen,” I said. “As much as I’d love to hide out with you, it’s not practical anymore and you know it. Nobody would ever come out and say as much to me, but I know my being here is putting a strain on the club. I know how my mother and brothers are. I can only guess how pissed they are. I’m sure Bear Bullock is catching the brunt of it.”

“Bear can handle himself,” Zig said, his tone gruff. “That’s not for you to worry about.”

“But I do worry about it. And I’m not an idiot, Zig. This is dangerous for you too. You’re keeping something from your club. I know they won’t approve of you and me. At least, not now. So I need to go home and I need to see my father. It’s time.”

The color drained from Zig’s face. Panic set in his eyes and he pulled me toward him. “I’m the only one who can keep you safe, baby.”

“And how do you know that?” I said. “I know you’ve been thinking the same thing I have. If that asshole in the car the other night really wanted me dead, do you think he would have missed?”

A muscle jumped in Zig’s jaw. He didn’t loosen his grip on my arms. “Don’t even say that, Gina. Don’t even think it. I know I’m the only one who can keep you safe because I’m the only one willing to die for it.”

His words fell like a thunderclap. My heart lurched and I brought my own hands up, gripping him by the elbows. God, the pain in Zig’s eyes tore at me. I’d been so scared the other night, it never occurred to me that he’d been terrified too. Not of dying. I wasn’t naive. I knew Zig lived the kind of life where he’d seen bullets fly. Hell, though he might never admit it to me, I knew he may have been the one doing the shooting sometimes. But this. This was different. He was scared to death of losing me!

I went to him, drawing his head down until our lips met. My chest felt heavy as my heart pounded. He wouldn’t say it. I couldn’t say it. Not yet. But I sensed maybe we were both thinking it. Were we both falling in love?

I pulled away first, breathless.

“Zig,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Talk to the club about me. Maybe it would be a good idea if I wasn’t here in the clubhouse anymore. I trust you. I’ll wait a few more days if you and Bear think it’s absolutely necessary. But I’m going to see my father.”

He took my hand and kissed it. Zig gave me a solemn nod. A commotion rose down the hall and I guessed the food had arrived. We had no more time. Zig squeezed my hand then turned to go.