Derek

I tuck my daughter in Saturday night and stand at the side of her bed, watching her sleep for a minute. Her white blonde hair is splayed on her pink pillow, and she tucks her hands in a prayer formation under her left cheek. I don’t care what anyone says, Haven Rosewood is an angel. My angel. I would murder for this girl, and that says a lot, seeing as how I work for the right side of the law.

We spent the entire day together doing anything she wanted to do. Ice cream. The park. The children’s museum. A bike ride with Grandma Bliss. Pizza. Legos. Barbies.

Ten minutes ago, she asked to go to bed, and she never does that.

All day, I focused on my daughter, and I did everything in my power to ignore the flood of questions working like background chatter in my head. I spent an hour feeling like I needed to know what Serena was doing. Who she was with. If she was even going to come back. And then I smacked myself out of it, gave myself a mental pep talk, and reminded myself that Serena Randall’s personal life is none of my business.

She’s my client. I’m her attorney.

I’m not her boyfriend.

I don’t even want to be her boyfriend.

This is the kind of shit that gives relationships a bad name. People spend too much time fixating on other people, things beyond their control, that they’re never truly happy. They spend their lives addicted to the peaks and valleys, the highs and lows.

It’s no way to live, and it’s certainly not the way I intend on spending the rest of this one life I have to live.

After I close Haven’s door, I sink down into the leather club chair in the living room and slide my phone out. My fingers hover above the screen as I check my messages.

I have a text, but it isn’t from her.

KESLEY – I’m outside! Let me in.

ME – Outside . . . where?

KESLEY – Your door, idiot. Hurry. Not getting any younger.

Grumbling to myself, I lift myself from the chair and make my way to the door, peering out the peephole. Sure enough, there’s Kesley Black, former fuck-buddy extraordinaire. I met her shortly after my divorce, both of us newly un-married and neither of us in search of anything serious. She’s not from Rixton Falls, but she comes here for business from time to time, and she always looks me up when she’s in town. Kesley’s the true definition of a fuck-buddy, and in that regard, she’s worth her weight in gold.

But for the first time since I’ve known her, my cock doesn’t make so much as a twitch when I glance through the peephole and see the tight little number hugging the overabundance of curves she wears so well.

I pull the door open, and she dives into my arms, pressing her DDs against me as she jumps in her pointed heels.

“Look at you! Is it possible you’ve gotten better looking since I last saw you?” Her hands glide up my chest and she breathes me in, lifting on her toes to kiss me, but I don’t oblige. Kesley pouts, a strand of bleach blonde hair falling in her green eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“For one, my daughter’s here, so you need to keep it down.”

“Oh. Shit. Sorry.” She bites her lip. “I didn’t know.”

We step in, and she kicks off her heels, instantly losing four inches and fitting just beneath my chin. Her arm links into mine and she pulls me to the living room, making herself at home the way she has dozens of times before.

“What are you waiting for?” She pats the seat beside her.

I hesitate. “Kes, I’m not in the mood.”

She pouts, arms folding against her chest, propping them up even higher than they were before.

“I got all dolled up for you.” She holds her wrist under her nose then moves it to mine. “Even wore your favorite perfume.”

“It’s been a long week.” I lift my hands behind my head, interlacing my fingers and yawning. “Was actually getting ready to head to bed.”

Her face scrunches. “Seriously? At nine o’clock on a Saturday night?”

“Right.”

“I’m not coming back to Rixton Falls for another two months. You’re going to leave me hanging like that?” She pouts again, the way she used to when I’d make her beg for my cock. The girl had a thing for dominant and submissive play, and who was I not to oblige a lady’s fantasy? Kelsey reads my face for a moment. “Oh, my God. You met someone.”

“No.” I shake my head, glancing away from her and toward the view of the night sky behind her, and once again, I find myself wondering what Serena’s doing right now.

“Liar.” She grabs a throw pillow and tosses it at me playfully. “What’s she like?”

I take the seat beside her, legs spread and hands resting in my lap as I stare ahead blankly at the flickering TV screen. Maybe if I bore her to death, she’ll leave on her own.

“There’s no one,” I assure her as I flip through the channels.

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

“Good.” She climbs into my lap, straddling me and slinking her wrists along the sides of my neck. “I didn’t want to give you up to someone else.”

Kesley leans in for a kiss, and without thinking, I turn away.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Derek.” She sits up straight, arms falling off my shoulders. “Why are you being so weird?”

“Told you. Not in the mood.”

Kesley slides off my lap, falling into a pool of submissive surrender between my knees. Her fingers waste little time working the button of my jeans. My cock just sits there, refusing to get up.

Her tongue glides along her upper lip. “Maybe I can get you in the mood . . .”

I move aside, standing and adjusting my disheveled shirt. “Kes, you need to go.”

She rises slowly, her cheeks burning. I’m sure she’s humiliated, but it is what it is. I tried to warn her.

Tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, she looks up at me with tear-filled eyes. “You don’t think I’m sexy anymore?”

Jesus Christ.

This is why girls like Kesley are strictly fuck-buddy material. There’s not much going on in there except for an intensely unnecessary focus on the exterior.

Vapid.

“You’re sexy as hell, Kesley,” I say, placing my hand on her arm.

“There is someone else.” Her voice breaks, and I see now that she’d been holding out hope that our little arrangement would someday morph into something more. Never saw that coming. She smiles through misty eyes. “All right. Fine. I just hope she makes you happy.”

I don’t answer, choosing neither to confirm nor deny her allegations.

“Life’s too short, right?” She sniffs, brushing the tip of her nose against the back of her hand and staring up at me as if she wished it were her instead. “You find someone that makes you break the rules, you have to hold on and never let go.”

I nod. “Something like that.”

Fuck. More like everything like that.

“Take care, Derek.” She moves toward the door, stepping into her fuck-me heels, and turns to face me, lifting her hand to my cheek. “She’s a lucky woman, whoever she is. Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

She places a pointed finger against the left side of my chest. “If you truly care about her, let her in there.”

I place my hand over hers and pull it away. I haven’t let anyone in there in over two years, and I’m not even certain the stupid thing functions anymore.

“Thanks for the advice, Kes.” Unfortunately, I won’t be needing it.

“Had I known February was going to be our last time, I would’ve worn that stupid French maid costume you always wanted me to wear.” She laughs, her green eyes lighting. Everything about Kesley is pretty and simple, and though I never took the time to get to know her that well, I’m positive she’s going to make some man very lucky someday.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” I say. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”

“No regrets.” She shrugs, smiling, and reaches for the door.

And with that, my arrangement with Kesley Black has officially dissolved.

I head to bed, setting my phone on my nightstand, and I check it once last time, like a lust-sick moron, and find nothing. Rolling over to the spot where I claimed Serena’s body last night, I grab the pillow she buried her head into while I entered her from behind. It smells like her. Grabbing a fistful of downy fabric, I chuck it across the room.

I’m not angry at her.

I’m angry at myself and my ridiculous inability to pull my head out of my ass and stop moping around like an imbecile.