Life Lesson #10: you owe no one nothing

➸ Yarrow ☆

Blackjack missing his family makes me sad for him. He should get what he wants, and what he wants is for his mommy and daddy to love him like they used to. Seems like a simple thing, but people can’t help making life more complicated.

I’m not good at being like people, so I choose to make what I want clear with Blackjack. After using the bathroom, I strip out of my flannel PJs. I can’t see my body in the small mirror over the sink. I glance down at my small breasts and feel my vagina where a neatly trimmed patch of pubic hair remains. I remember Clove saying how waxed pussies were for porn stars and insecure twats, but that didn’t mean the lawn shouldn’t be mowed time and again.

Knowing I want Blackjack to visit my yard, I cleaned it up last night after my shower. Now it’s time to show off my handiwork.

I leave the small downstairs bathroom and sit on the couch near the lava lamp.

Blackjack immediately frowns. “Where are your clothes?”

“I don’t know,” I say since his question is stupid.

“Fair enough.”

I glance at him and find him yanking his shirt over his head. Realizing I can finally check out the tattoos on his chest, I crawl over to him.

“I want to see,” I say, dodging his lips so I can explore his ink. “Will you get a tattoo of my name?”

“Sure.”

His rough fingers slide down my spine, and I shiver at his warmth compared to the cold of the room.

The skull and bones on Blackjack’s ribcage can’t compete with how amazing his hands feel on my bare flesh. Crawling onto his lap, I caress his face and soak in the need I find in his gaze.

“It made no sense to me why Ginger wanted to mess around with Oz. She seemed stupid and weak, and I got scared because Ginger was always strong and smart. Now I understand why she wanted to be close to him,” I say and grind my hips against his. “With the right person, being weak and stupid feels right. All the heat between my legs makes my brain forget to think.”

Blackjack holds my face possessively. “You make me feel so fucking weak and stupid that I don’t know if I’ll ever recover.”

His words sound unhappy, but the glow in his smoky-brown eyes reveals a different emotion. More than horny, Blackjack is unguarded, vulnerable, maybe even afraid.

I wish my current fearlessness could transfer to him. I don’t want to be in charge of our bodies when I can simply relax and enjoy the amazing sensations. Selfishness makes me happy, but I can’t be that person right now. Not with Blackjack when he’s so close to giving us both what we crave.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I cuddle his face against my chest. His beard tempted me, and I’ve wanted so badly to know how it’d feel against my nipples. His lips try to latch on when I graze my tits against his cheeks. I want to feel the hairs rough against my hard nipples. Blackjack, though, grips my arms and forces me still so he can taste me.

We struggle for the next few minutes—both wanting to take control. I ache to explore his body, and he wants to do the same with mine. I want to taste him, but he wants to taste me more. He nips at my nipples before I push him off and reach down to tease his.

“I haven’t fucked a woman in years,” he moans while pinning me to the couch long enough to kiss at my stomach. “I still know we’re doing this shit wrong.”

“Let me go,” I sigh and wiggle free.

I reach for the condoms we bought at Wal-Mart. Except there’s only twelve in the package. We’ll need to go back to the store soon.

“I know how to do it,” I say and yank a condom free from the box. “I watched a video on the internet.”

Blackjack opens his mouth as if to speak. I graze my nipples with the condom, craving the rough scratching sensation. His mouth remains open longer, but he doesn’t speak. Instead, his lips cover one of my nipples and suck rhythmically until it’s long and red. Flicking it with his tongue, Blackjack tightens his teeth on the tip before looking to me for approval.

“I need to fuck,” I groan, climbing off the couch and kneeling between his legs.

I wrap my fingers around his stiff flesh with one hand while the nails on my other hand scratch at his inner thigh. Blackjack inhales sharply, torn between pain and arousal. Does he fear I’ll hurt him? Maybe he should. My heart is beating so fast, and I feel out of breath even before I run my tongue hungrily over the head of his cock. I can barely contain my desire, and my fingers shake when I open the condom.

“I can—”

“No,” I snap, wanting him to leave me alone to enjoy this moment.

My lips suck at the hot, veined skin along his shaft as I roll the condom lower. Blackjack exhales into a groan when I reach his balls.

Without waiting, I stand and immediately climb on the couch. I hold onto his shoulders and lower my hips until I’m squatting over his cock.

“Don’t be scared,” I whisper.

My hips swing back and forth, so the head of his cock grazes my wide-open pussy. Blackjack holds his cock still and wraps an arm around my hips until his fingers grip my ass.

His gaze holds mine, and he says through gritted teeth, “I’m only scared you’ll make me come before I get to feel the inside of your pussy.”

Lowering my hips, I’m penetrated by his thick cock. More and more until my ass rests on his bare thighs. We both sigh, relieved to have finally reached this moment. I stare into his eyes and smile.

“Do you still remember how to fuck?” I tease while my pussy tightens around his thick cock.

“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

I hadn’t meant to dare Blackjack to fuck me stupid but soon realize a challenged man is a very sexy and determined one.