“Jessa!”

I heard her name, exalted through the darkness between the trees… and at first, I almost thought I’d imagined it. A shiver ran up my spine as the breeze licked up the back of my shirt.

I zipped up my fly and headed through the trees, back to the fire.

“Omigod, come sit down!” That, from a very happy-sounding but slightly drunk Katie.

“We thought you’d bailed.” That was Roni, and I heard the cap pop off a fresh beer. Just as I reached the edge of the patio, I saw her; Jessa, standing by the fire in her furry jacket, taking a pull off the beer she’d just been handed. I’d stepped away to take a piss, and now there she was.

I stopped short in the darkness between the trees.

“Nope,” Jessa said, wiping beer off her mouth with the back of her hand as she sat down. Like most everyone around the fire pit, she’d changed into jeans and warm boots. So at least if she was still going commando, no one would be the wiser.

“To sit at the fire,” Jesse told her, “you have to sing a song.” Then he thrust a guitar into her hands.

There were about a dozen people gathered around; just the band and a few friends with cold beers and a bunch of instruments, sitting on benches around the fire on a stone patio overlooking the hot springs. It was near three in the morning and a fat moon was glowing through the break in the trees above. The wedding reception had dissolved about an hour ago, the last guests wandering off to their cabins, but those of us who couldn’t yet sleep had come out here to do what we always did when we were in nature together: play music, or at least enjoy a few more drinks and the talents of those who could play.

The mere possibility of hearing Jessa sing a song, right here, right now… my pulse jacked up and I got goosebumps, all over my body—that internal radar for other people’s musical gift that Zane called my “talent boner” going off in a big way.

I didn’t even think I’d see her again tonight, and I’d had mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, seeing her was torture. On the other hand, not seeing her? Worse torture.

Amanda had bailed, heading off to bed, so at least there was that. Apparently, the fact that I’d punched a guy in the face didn’t go over so well with her, especially when word got around about why I did it.

I flexed my sore hand and hung back, just beyond the firelight, listening; I didn’t want my presence to ruin the moment. If Jessa saw me, maybe she wouldn’t play. Maybe she wouldn’t even stay. But she seemed to be stalling as she sipped her beer.

“Even Katie sang,” Jesse encouraged her. “Badly.”

“‘Bohemian Rhapsody’!” Katie said. “It’s my specialty. Especially in the shower, in my car, and at campfires.”

“Ah, a campfire classic.” I could see the side of Jessa’s face, rimmed in firelight, her eyes shining. She looked a little drunk, but happy. “Jesse can never remember the words.” She shot her brother a disparaging look and started tuning his guitar.

“Don’t fuck with my guitar,” he said, but he looked damn happy. Paulie handed him another acoustic but he didn’t play, waiting instead for Jessa to start.

I leaned against a tree as Jessa started to strum, tentatively at first, almost shyly. Everyone fell quiet to listen as she cleared her throat. “I’m a little rusty.”

“Don’t think,” Jesse prompted. “Just play.”

I didn’t recognize the song at first. Then Jessa opened her gorgeous mouth and let her soft voice out, and the words of Hozier’s “Take Me To Church,” carrying through the night, rose every hair on my body.

Jesus, the girl could sing.

Jesse joined in on guitar, but no one else sang. Zane’s voice or even Jesse’s would’ve overpowered hers, and no one wanted that. There was just something about Jessa Mayes’ voice; sweet, delicate, both fragile and strong, and so emotive. She’d changed the lover in the song’s lyrics from “she” to “he” and made it her own, and when she sang? You got pulled right in. Everyone seemed to lean in closer to hear her… all of her. Every little intake of breath, every catch, every little sigh between the words.

The spaces in-between the words; Jessa knew, like any great songwriter, that those spaces were everything.

She would’ve made an incredible solo artist, maybe headlined her own shows, if she’d ever had the desire. Just Jessa. That voice and that face and a guitar.

Epic.

As she finished the song, everyone just sat there staring at her, speechless.

“Damn.” Katie’s brother-in-law, Jack, finally broke the silence.

“Right?” Roni said. “You should hear her when she’s singing Feist in her underwear and making me breakfast.” Then she stood up, singing “I Feel It All” in an imitation of Jessa’s sweet voice and twitching her ass in the air.

“Bitch,” Jessa muttered, smiling.

“What? It’s good to have you home.” Roni sat back down, grinning.

“I’ll fucking cheers to that,” Zane said, and glasses and bottles were clinked all around the fire pit.

I took that as my cue to slip back in and rejoin the circle. I’d already sung my song, so at least Jessa didn’t have to hear me croak my way through “Heart of Gold.” My musical talents did not lie in performance—of any kind. Luckily Zane’s harmonica kind of stole the show, plus almost everyone was kinda drunk, so there was that.

“I’m expecting you to make me those badass blueberry pancakes of yours, soon,” Roni went on. “It’s been years since you treated me to a breakfast concert.”

“I can’t remember the last time I ate a pancake,” Jessa said almost wistfully, glancing at me as I sat down across the fire from her.

“Christ,” Roni said. “You really need to quit the modeling biz, stat. Life without pancakes… next you’re gonna tell me you’ve stopped giving head because of the calories.”

“You only gotta count the calories if you swallow,” Ash put in helpfully.

“Hey, hey.” Jessa raised her beer. “To my brother and his new wife.”

Beers were raised again and everyone cheered as the laughter died down. “And to my little sister,” Jesse added. “May she live long and sing a lot of songs.”

Jessa smiled, looking embarrassed by all the love.

Then the music continued. With all the rock stars jamming, it was a killer lineup for a private concert in the woods. The businessman in me wanted to pull out my phone, stream it live and watch the cash roll in. But this night wasn’t about that.

As they started into what I personally considered one of the greatest songs The Beatles ever recorded, “Don’t Let Me Down,” Zane on lead vocals and Jesse, Dylan, Elle, Ash and Jessa belting out the chorus, sending it right on up to the stars, I sat back, just soaking up the vibe of it. Just like I had at so many jams around so many fires over the years, since we were just a bunch of kids. And it felt good.

No; it felt incredible.

It felt so totally fucking right to have Jessa here among us; like she’d never even left. Nothing could be more right than this.

Nothing could be more wrong than watching her leave us again.

I felt it, in my blood and in my bones, in my fucking soul, as she played with the band. Jessa Mayes belonged here. With us.

Why the fuck couldn’t she see it?

Everyone else could.

I watched in utter fucking fascination as the music took her over, as she got all lit up in a way I hadn’t seen her get lit up in a long fucking time… since around the time her mom died, maybe.

Since long before the band left on that first world tour, and we lost her.

* * *

Many songs later, the fire was dwindling and no one was bothering to build it up anymore. The newlyweds had long since disappeared. Those of us who were single—or avoiding going to bed—sat around talking shit, drinking, smoking weed and more or less trying to outlast each other. Like a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who weren’t gonna pay for this tomorrow.

Zane, Maggie and I, as usual, were the only ones not getting trashed. Zane because he didn’t drink, and Maggie and I because we’d made it our responsibility years ago to look out for these lunatics. Besides, I tended to make an even bigger dick of myself with Jessa when I was drunk, and I wasn’t about to spend the brief time I had in her presence wasted.

I wasn’t gonna spend it sleeping either, which meant I was pretty much waiting for her to get up and leave, because I sure as shit didn’t have the balls to end this night. Not when she was still sitting across the fire from me. I glanced her way, but she wasn’t looking at me; she was gazing into the flames, a beer clutched in her hand.

Then Maggie announced that she was about to go pass out—and Zane suddenly got the bright idea to go for a polar bear swim, which, big fucking surprise, turned into a naked polar bear swim.

Zane, Roni, Dylan and Ash headed for the nearest dock and into the water—not the little pools of hot springs among the rocks below; the frigid waters of the cove beyond. Which left me with Maggie and Jessa by the fire.

“BRO-d-d-deeeeee…!” Zane sang from the water. He was in first; pretty sure his teeth were chattering.

Roni was next in, with a squeal.

“I’m good,” I called out. “Be right here, making sure no one dies.” I couldn’t help snickering as Dylan and Ash jumped in the frigid water, hollering. “Idiots,” I mumbled into my beer. I could see them, like the slick heads of seals bobbing on the water in the moonlight.

Then my eyes met Jessa’s across the fire and my smile faded.

Maggie, sitting right next to me, was saying something, but I didn’t hear a word as Jessa got to her feet. She wobbled a little, finished her beer, set it down, and turned to walk straight out the dock.

I really should’ve stopped her. She’d been drinking, and she didn’t look all that steady on her feet. But since I was dead to her… I just sat there like an asshole watching her strip down, shedding her furry jacket and the sweater beneath, then her T-shirt—a worn black shirt. My shirt? I could’ve sworn it was, and that shit was messing with my head.

She skimmed it up over her head and tossed it aside. Her back was to me, her hair tied up in a high knot, the firelight skimming off her naked curves… which meant the assholes in the water had a frontal view. But she didn’t take off her bra. She kicked off her boots, shimmied out of her jeans—flashing her perfect ass in a pair of nude-colored panties—and hopped in the water.

Maggie applauded next to me, laughing as Jessa emerged from underwater and shouted, “Jesus! Fuck, that’s cold!” which just made Maggie laugh harder.

“Maggie!” Zane threw his arms around Jessa, pulling her close, which I didn’t fucking love. At least I knew for sure it was too cold in that water to get a hard-on, even for Zane. “Get your ass in the water!”

“Don’t let the old man cramp your style, Maggs,” Ash put in.

Maggie glanced over at the “old man”—me, apparently—and rolled her eyes. Then Dylan joined in the ribbing, and Zane shouted, “Maggie May! Get your ass in the water before my dick falls off!”

“Jesus Christ,” Maggie grumbled, getting up. “Doesn’t he ever shut up?”

Obviously, it was a rhetorical question, because we both knew the answer. Maggie didn’t usually let Zane’s mouth get to her, but seconds later she’d stripped down to her underwear and was in the water, screaming.

Ash was then out, naked, running shivering up the boardwalk into the woods, followed closely by Roni, then Dylan. Jessa was out next, quaking, her shoulders drawn up around her ears… her nipples looking like they were about to slice through the pasted-on silk of her flesh-tone bra. She might as well have been naked.

I tried not to stare, but shit. I’d never seen Jessa this naked. Didn’t love that I wasn’t the only one seeing it, either.

Fortunately, Zane was too cold to care. I met her on the dock with a wool blanket someone had left by the fire and wrapped her in it, just as Maggie streaked by. The both of them could’ve been buck naked and making out and Zane probably wouldn’t have stopped.

“Holy mother of fuck,” he gasped as he dashed by, hot on Maggie’s tail. “My balls are up behind my eyeballs.” Then he caught Maggie and swung her up over his shoulder, caveman style.

Maggie smacked Zane’s bare ass, hard, as he hauled her off into the trees. “Do not drop me,” she ordered. “I’m freezing!” They disappeared into the dark, leaving Jessa and I alone.

She was wrapped up tight in the blanket, wavering on her feet, shivering so hard her teeth were chattering.

“You should go back to your cabin,” I told her. “Get a fire going.”

I didn’t wait for a response.

I headed back to the fire pit to put the fire out. She needed to get warm—somewhere else—and I needed to get the hell away from her and her see-through panties. She didn’t seem to get the memo on that, though, because she followed me.

When the fire was out I stood to leave, but she stood in my path.

“Yeah… a fire’s a good idea,” she said, blinking up at me, her big brown eyes all bleary and needy and soft. “Guess I’ll just have to try and get it lit and whatever.”

Seriously?

I was not fucking falling for this shit. What was I, a fucking lumberjack now? She want me to go out and haul down a tree for her, and those big brown eyes were supposed to get me to do it?

Fat fucking chance.

“It’s a luxury resort,” I said flatly. “I’m sure they’ve made it real easy for you. Probably stocked your cabin with everything you need and then some.”

“Yeah, probably.” She glanced up the path leading to the boardwalk and bit her lip.

“What’s the problem?”

“Nothing.” She started up the path, but stopped when she reached the start of the suspended boardwalk.

I came up behind her in the dark. “What’s the fucking problem, princess?”

Jessa cringed at the old nickname. “Never mind.”

I studied her dark silhouette, trying to figure out what the fuck she was up to.

I had no idea.

Used to think I knew her, could read her, knew all the shit she never told anyone, even me.

I was wrong. So totally fucking wrong.

“Have a nice night.” I bypassed her, heading into the trees. “Try not to freeze to death.”

“It’s just…” she called out after me. “I’m kind of lost.”

I turned back. “You’re lost?”

She drew the blanket tighter around herself. “Yeah, okay? That’s why I was late coming down to jam. I got lost. It was light out when I arrived, and I’ve had a lot to drink, and it’s all dark, and this walkway is dangerous. There’s no rail in some places, you know, and it’s a fucking maze…”

It was dark. The twinkly lights along the boardwalk had gone out, probably on a timer. And she was right; it was kind of a maze.

And she did almost fall off it last night. Still made my stomach turn to think about it, about what might’ve happened if I wasn’t there.

Wasn’t really in the mood to agree with her, though.

Instead I muttered, “Jesus, Jessa,” took her by the elbow, and led her into the dark.