I couldn’t hold Summer off any longer.

Ever since I’d returned from Hawaii, she’d been threatening to throw me that party she’d mentioned—the one swarming with available men, for me. And every time I refused to admit that there was anything going on between me and Seth, she’d threatened to send someone—muscular and attractive, of course—to drag me out of my house and over to party central, in other words, her place.

But she never actually did it.

She’d also texted me such comments as What r u waiting for? Accompanied, usually, by drool-inducing pictures of a dreamy, angsty, baby-faced Seth, twenty years old, gazing soulfully at the camera; early Dirty promo photos, scavenged from the internet. Along with such hashtags as #cockgoals.

Somehow, I’d managed to appease her by telling her Seth and I were “talking things through” and “figuring things out.” Of course, she’d wanted to know what kinds of “things” I was referring to, but it was just enough to satisfy her that something was going on, even if I wouldn’t talk to her about it yet.

When she called today—my day off, between auditions—I finally accepted her invitation, though. In part, so I wouldn’t have to be alone with Seth, or my thoughts.

A party would be the perfect distraction, right?

I was so bent on distracting myself from my I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-to-do-about-these-feelings daze, it didn’t even occur to me that Ash might be at the party, too.

Of course, he was. I saw him as soon as Seth and I stepped in the door.

I’d been worried, on the way over, about how Seth might be received. What people might think of him, and of us being together. If Summer’s friends would be welcoming to him.

But as it turned out, I really didn’t need to worry about that.

As we walked into Summer’s modern, sprawling house on Arbutus Ridge with its epic city views—a quintessential party house, operating something like a free bed-and-breakfast for all her friends, and currently populated by a few dozen carefully-selected guests, many of them beautiful men—it quickly became clear that Seth knew as many people here as I did.

Likely, Summer had known he would.

I knew the Dirty crowd wouldn’t be here. Summer knew the guys in the band, but it just wasn’t that kind of party. It was a party for me; an excuse to entice me out of my house and allegedly meet men. Summer knew me well enough to know I’d bring Seth if I was serious about him, to give her the message that I wasn’t looking to get fixed up. That I wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone, because yes, I was—unofficially—hooked up with Seth… even if I didn’t yet want to say so.

But none of that would keep her from inviting Ash.

Actually, I couldn’t think of a single thing on Earth that would keep her from welcoming Ash at any of her parties, if he was in town. Which, apparently, he was.

Glaring at me from across Summer’s living room, to be exact.

It was early yet, the party deliciously chill as people sat in small groups on the clusters of party-ready furniture or mingled, sipping cocktails, chatting and laughing. A sumptuous remix of Ella Fitzgerald’s “Wait till You See Him” was playing; classy, sexy, and so fitting that I had to wonder if Summer had cued the song just for my entrance with Seth. I definitely wouldn’t put it past her.

She was quick to swoop in and kiss me on the cheek—and steal Seth from me with a sly wink, steering him away into the crowd to show him off.

As soon as I’d lost him, Ash stalked over; Seth’s popularity was just the opportunity he needed to pull me aside. He nudged me into an empty hallway and lit right into me.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“That’s none of your business,” I told him, calmly. Clearly, he’d seen Seth and I arrive together. Maybe he’d even seen me holding Seth’s hand when we walked in.

“We’ve been friends a long time, Elle. That’s how you want to play it?”

I said nothing, but it wouldn’t have mattered; he was already talking again anyway.

“What about your band? They know you’re here right now, with him?”

“It’s none of their business, either,” I told him. “Dirty doesn’t own me.” But the truth was, I was scared. Scared of them finding out and being pissed. I looked straight in Ash’s blue eyes. “And if you say anything, Ash…”

“I’m not gonna say shit. But you know you gotta talk to Dylan. He’d fucking tell you.”

He was right, and I hated that he was right about this.

“Yeah, and I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”

Ash stared at me. “This is bullshit.” He looked me over, slowly, from head to toe. I was wearing a short, tight, electric-blue dress, a date-night dress, and his eyes were all over it. He shook his head.

Then he turned suddenly and started to stalk away.

“We are friends, Ash,” I called after him.

He stopped and turned back to look at me.

I sighed. “Please, don’t be pissed at me.”

After all the stress with Jesse over the last year-and-a-half, I really couldn’t take it. It was one thing to blow Ash off over the phone, from miles away. It was another to see that look on his face.

His eyes held mine for a heartbeat, dark eyebrows furling together. “I’m not pissed, Elle,” he said, his voice low and rough. Then he walked away.

I hadn’t even made it out of the hallway when Summer mowed me down. She grabbed me and yanked me into a bedroom, shutting the door.

“Holy shit,” she said. “You did it. You slept with him.” She was staring at my face, and she was expecting an answer. She hardly needed one. I knew she could read the truth in my eyes.

“Yeah. I slept with him. Repeatedly, okay?”

She backed off a bit, taking that in. “Wow.”

“Wow, what?”

“I’m just… surprised.” She was still studying me, reading my face, my body language. It was unnerving.

“About what? You knew I was gonna sleep with him. You called it from day one.”

“Yeah, but… I didn’t expect this.”

“Expect what?”

Her pale blue eyes narrowed as she examined my bare legs. She crossed her arms under her chest; she was wearing a sleeveless black jumpsuit tonight, with a keyhole in the front that revealed a perfect swell of cleavage. She’d cut long bangs that framed her face, side-swept, with loose waves; kind of like Jacklyn Smith in Charlie’s Angels. She looked amazingly put-together, and I felt oddly like a total fucking mess standing here in her sight.

Why the hell did I come out tonight?

“You’re very defensive about him,” she noted. “And you wear shorter skirts than usual when he’s around. Like… way short.”

“Why wouldn’t I be defensive? Some of my closest friends think he’s a fucking asshole, and I don’t, okay?”

“Okay.” She stared at me.

I stared right back. “What? Just say it, okay? Whatever it is you’re thinking.”

“I’m just thinking…” Her pretty face crumpled a bit as she frowned. “I’m a bit concerned.”

“About what?”

“Elle. You’re fucking crazy about him.”

“So?” I almost shouted. “So what if I am?”

“It’s just… so fast. I mean, you really want to blow up your entire life over this?”

“No, but—”

“Ash is wounded, you know.”

And that’s when it really got through to me. That Ash really wasn’t pissed.

He was hurt.

“I just… I didn’t realize his feelings for me were so… serious,” I said. It was lame. I knew that once the words were out of my mouth. But I really didn’t realize. “I’ll do what I can to soften the blow, okay? Maybe I wasn’t all that… sympathetic. I mean, I know what rejection feels like. I just have a really hard time believing Ash feels that way about me.”

“Maybe you just don’t want to believe it,” Summer said.

I crossed my arms, mirroring her stance. But she was right, maybe.

“I know you don’t want to hurt anyone—much less a friend—that way,” she said. “And he might be all prickly on the surface with all the piercings and the ink and the smoldering eyes, but trust me, Ashley has feelings.”

Oh, God. This sucked.

I never meant to hurt Ash. He was never supposed to actually fall for me.

Where did Ashley Player get off falling for me?

“Okay,” I said. “I get it. He has feelings, and I hurt them. I’ll kiss his wounds and make it better. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“Okay. Great. Now what about Dirty?”

“What about Dirty?” I fired back.

“Elle. You can’t possibly have missed the fact that you’re hurting your band. Dylan. Jesse—”

“Yeah. God forbid I hurt Jesse,” I said, exasperated. “What the fuck does Jesse have to do with this?”

She held her manicured hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t shit on the messenger, okay? All I’m saying is… they love you. They need you. And you’re kinda shutting them out. Just like you did with Ash. Leaving them all in limbo, worried if they’re gonna lose you.”

“What? Who said that?”

“Dylan. That’s what he said to Ash, and Ash told me.”

Fuck.

Not good.

I did not want to leave them all worried about that. Of all things… I was not planning to leave Dirty.

“I just… I don’t know,” I told her, shaking my head. I did not know how to deal with all of this. Seth. The band. Brody. Ash. “I just don’t know how to talk to them. They hate him, and I don’t know how to make them see the truth.”

“What is the truth?”

“That he’s… he’s not what they think.”

I felt the tears flooding my eyes, and Summer saw them. She looked a little stunned, actually, her blue eyes widening. I rarely cried, and I’d never broken down in tears over a man in her presence… other than when Jesse broke up with me.

“Your hair looks amazing, by the way,” I offered with a sniffle.

“Elle…”

“It feels like I’m splitting right down the middle,” I told her. “Me on one side, with Seth, but no one knows I’m with him, and if they knew… God, I can’t even imagine it. Jesse on the other side with Brody, and Jessa… I don’t even know. She’s probably caught somewhere in the middle, if you ask her, but the guys have her firmly shoved behind them like a wall of stubborn. Dylan’s in the middle for sure… or maybe somewhere on my side. I mean, he’s usually on my side, but I don’t know. I haven’t even talked to him about it yet. He’s gonna hate it, for sure, because he’ll feel caught in the middle. And then there’s Zane, somewhere out in left field. You never know what the fuck that guy’s gonna say or do. He could say he wants Seth back right now, but I don’t know if that’s because he really wants Seth or he just wants to be a thorn up Jesse’s ass.”

“You really think Zane would do that? When it comes to something as important as the band?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t know. It’s only been a couple of weeks and I’m already so stressed out about it. I don’t like hiding shit from the guys and lying to them.”

“You’re not lying. You just haven’t told them you’re making music with Seth or that you’re sleeping with him. And really, how much of that is their business?” I could feel her coming around, wanting to protect me now, defend me. But it only made me feel worse.

The tears wobbled in my eyes, threatening to fall, and I swiped them away. “They have a right to know what I’m doing, musically. They would tell me what they’re doing.”

“So tell them.”

“I can’t.”

“Have you talked to Jesse? If things are that bad between you, maybe you should—”

“They’re really not,” I said. “It’s not even about me and him.”

“Okay…” Summer said, processing everything. “So then… are you really worried about hurting Dirty? Or hurting Seth?”

I didn’t even want to answer that. The truth was, I was afraid I was going to hurt them both, and I fucking hated it.

“I know he wants Dirty back,” I said. “He won’t even admit to me how much he wants it, because I know he’s afraid he’ll never have it. He pretends like he’s okay with it, but I know he’s not.”

“Maybe he feels the same way about you.”

“Oh, God. I have to sit down.” I sank onto the bed.

Summer came to sit beside me. We were in one of her spare bedrooms, where some of her party guests would probably crash tonight. Maybe Ash would sleep here tonight, and if so, he probably wouldn’t be alone. And it didn’t even bother me—at all.

The thought of Seth, though, hooking up with someone else… it killed me.

I could not even imagine letting him go. Losing him from my life again. Not knowing where he was or what he was doing. Not knowing him.

The sad truth was that getting to know him, again, had made me happier than I’d felt in almost two years.

“He’s a good guy, Elle,” Summer said. “I’ve always known that about Seth. But good isn’t good enough, alright?”

I looked at her.

“You’re solid gold, babe,” she said. “Platinum. And I’ve seen you put up with a lot of second-rate shit. If Seth really wants you, no matter what happens with the band, he better put his back into it.”

I smiled at the term. “You sound like that song.”

“I always sound like a song,” she said, tossing an arm around me. “Elle, sweetie. It’s simple. All you need is a man who wants to be your man, and wants it hard. Not a man who wants you to be something you’re not. Not a man who wants you hanging on the line, adoring him, for his own shits and giggles. You need a man who wants to be Elle’s man, period. Who’ll do whatever it takes to be your man. No more games. No more bullshit. It’s time for the real deal.”

“I know.”

“So maybe you need to ask yourself if Seth Brothers is that man. And if he’s really worth losing your band over.”

“He’s not,” I told her. “No one’s worth that.”

But there was a tiny kernel of doubt, a little root unfurling and taking hold deep inside of me… that maybe I was wrong about that.

“Fuck,” I said, folding forward over my knees.

“Yeah,” she agreed, rubbing my back in sympathetic circles. “I guess that’s about it.”

* * *

After Summer left, I stayed back in the bedroom by myself. I no longer felt like socializing—at all. What was I even thinking, coming to a party tonight?

I was considering texting Seth and Flynn and asking them to take me home, when Seth slipped into the room.

“Summer said you were in here…” He came right over to me, but instead of sitting down on the bed, he dropped to his knees on the carpet in front of me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

And I wanted to cry, right here in his arms. But I didn’t. I kept my shit together, just barely. I even put on a smile. I wrapped my arms around him, too.

“Hey,” he said, studying me, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Just more tired than I thought. I don’t think I want to stay too long. Maybe go home soon?”

“Okay,” he said, smoothing a hand up my bare thigh. “We can do that.” His gaze dropped to the hemline of my short dress, which had ridden up when I sat down. Way up. My black lace panties were in full view. “But maybe I should just help you with this dress first…”

Instead of pulling my dress down to cover more of me, he pushed it up, with both hands. And I sighed as arousal coursed through my body.

There was no doubt about it: Seth, turned on, turned me on.

Like, instantly.

His thumbs trailed over my panties and I spread my thighs, letting out a breathy moan of anticipation. His face hazed over with lust and I leaned back on my hands to give him better access.

I watched as he peeled my panties aside with one finger and stroked his thumb over my clit. My pussy clenched and pulsed.

God… I needed him right now.

I needed him to erase all the shitty feelings I’d just been through, the emotional rollercoaster of this day… and every day of the past few weeks. And maybe he sensed it, when he glanced up into my eyes… right before his mouth pressed between my legs. His tongue… those fucking lips of his…

He ate me out slowly, lovingly… hungrily. Like he had all the time in the world. One hand gripped my panties, holding them out of the way. The other stroked my inner thigh, gently. He teased my opening with a fingertip, spreading the slick wet of my arousal over my sensitive flesh. Touching me so gently, it was setting me on fire.

I needed more, but he was holding back. Taking his time…

He sucked on my clit, gently, exploring with his tongue. He laid soft kisses all over my pussy, sucking and teasing as he went. He licked in a gentle rhythm, tasting me, pausing now and then to lick his lips, like he was savoring the taste.

“Fuck me, please,” I begged. “I need you to fuck me, Seth.”

His smoky eyes met mine. “I wanna taste your come,” he said, caressing my opening, lightly, with a finger. “Then I’m gonna fuck you…”

I groaned as he kissed my clit softly, slowly, several times, until I was squirming with pent-up need. Then he dug in with his tongue… and the orgasm shook me suddenly apart. He sucked on my clit as I came, and I bit my tongue to keep from screaming the house down, even as bass throbbed through the wall—music cranked up so loud now that I realized no one would hear me. It was a Summer-style remix of Ice Cube, “You Can Do It.”

Breathless laughter bubbled up in my throat, because I knew Summer was spinning the song just for me…

He better put his back into it.

The thing was… Seth did put his back into it. Every time.

When the onslaught of pleasure subsided to a reasonable level and I could see straight again, I looked up at him, choking back my ecstatic giggles. He’d worn a blazer tonight with his T-shirt and jeans, a tweedy, rocked-out gray one with frayed edges, and it looked so fucking cute on him I just wanted to hug him and take him home as he shrugged it off. His pupils were blown as he looked down at me, sex-high. He was undoing his jeans, taking out his cock.

I had never wanted a man inside me like I wanted him right now.

He stood over me, and I watched as he rolled a condom on. His eyes drifted closed with the intensity of it; he was rock-hard. He slid his hand over his cock a couple of times as he eased the condom all the way down, then looked at me.

I was still lying back on the bed, waiting for him.

But he didn’t come to me. His eyes, instead, moved slowly over my body.

Now it was my turn to ask. “What’s wrong?”

“Just need a minute,” he rasped, “or I’m gonna blow it. Literally.”

“Oh,” I breathed. “Well… just don’t leave me waiting too long…”

I watched him peel off his T-shirt; so gorgeous. His lean, hard body. His cock in his hand.

He came to me, finally, and peeled my panties off, then lowered himself slowly over me. I’d just had a totally mind-melting orgasm, yet I was breathless with need. “What the hell is happening…?” I managed. I wasn’t even talking about the sex, exactly.

“What? This…?” he asked, kissing his way up my neck. “This is happening…” He nibbled his way up to my ear. “It’s fucking on.” He licked the sensitive spot below my ear and whispered, “I want you.”

Yeah. I wanted him, too… And I was so crazy turned on by his certainty.

“I’ve been through shit, Elle,” he rasped in my ear as he lined up his cock with my pussy, “and I know a good thing.”

I did, too.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed into me, filling me. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling as my body hummed with pleasure. I wanted more of it. I wanted more of him.

“You okay?” he asked, brushing his mouth over my bottom lip.

“Yeah.” I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. Then I kissed him softly. “Give it to me.”

He did. He gave it to me deep… thorough and slow. He was watching my face, my lips, parted and trembling as I breathed… my eyes, drifting closed and open as I rode the sensations… being filled by him, over and again…

“That good, baby?” he murmured.

“So good…” I breathed.

He’d never called me baby before. I liked it.

I liked him.

I grabbed his ass and tried to pull him deeper. I wanted him as deep as he could get. I wanted him to come harder than he’d ever come. I wanted him to forget every other girl he’d ever had.

I wanted him to be mine.

And when he suddenly lost it, giving up the struggle to hold himself back and letting himself go, his cock jerking inside me… it set me off. I came with him, rolling on the waves of ecstasy with him.

His eyes caught mine as he panted for breath above me. His mouth was open, his lips swollen. His eyes were smoky-dark.

He looked so beautiful… strong and vulnerable, in the aftermath of sex.

He looked like a man in love.

He pressed his forehead to mine… and it felt so right. Just breathing with him. Holding him close.

I knew this wasn’t supposed to happen. We both did.

We weren’t supposed to fall for each other… but we were. We both knew we were.

I was falling for Seth Brothers, and he was falling for me… hard and fast.