Chapter Forty-Five

Reid

I’m just finishing off the last swipe of my razor at the bathroom sink, Carrie next to me at the second sink, when her eyes meet mine in the mirror. She gives me a shy smile when she is so far from shy, but it’s these contradictions in Carrie, the small little things that make her her, that draw me to her. She glances away and runs her fingers through her wet hair. I’m starting to think obsession isn’t the right word for what I feel for this woman. It’s more. It’s so much more.

I wipe my face and she turns on the hairdryer, this kind of intimacy with a woman is not something I’d have considered in the past, but there is no hesitation in me to be here with her like this. I don’t want to be without this woman. She’s changing me, and I don’t even care. I’ve stopped asking myself why everything is different with Carrie. I’m not even going to ask how this happened anymore. It just did. She happened. And I’ve stopped trying to save her from me. It’s too late. She can’t be saved. I won’t let her be saved. Not from me.

I walk over to her and kiss her despite the hairdryer blasting and brush my thumb over her kiss-dampened lip. I don’t say anything. I like that I don’t have to say anything with Carrie. She doesn’t need some false sense of security in words. She doesn’t force me to say things I’m not ready to say. She doesn’t force me to be anything but a better man, and that’s what this is. I’m better with this woman. I know this. I think she does, too. The problem is that she doesn’t know what I am without her. She’ll know if she ever finds out the truth of that debt.

Feeling that certainty like a punch in my gut, I leave her to finish her routine and walk into the bedroom to dress in gray Diesel jeans and a gray Diesel T-shirt and boots, trying not to think of that debt. I fucking hate the way I’m legally bound not to tell her, but if I do, she’ll go to her father, and he’ll come at my family. I fucking would if I were her. It’s too personal. She’ll be too upset not to react. I run my hand through my hair. The hairdryer turns off and I walk to the bathroom door and just seeing her there in her robe, looking beautiful and just so damn her, guts me for one reason: I want her and I’m going to lose her, and I can’t stop it from happening.

“Hey, baby,” I say when she looks at me with those perfect emerald green eyes. “I’m going to check in with Royce on Elijah and see what this place looks like in daylight.”

“Okay,” she says softly. “I won’t be long.”

I cross the room and pull her to me, all her soft curves pressed to every spot I can get her. “Good.” I stroke her cheek. “I want you with me, Carrie. You know that, right?”

“I’m starting to figure that out.”

“Say what I want you to say.”

“I want to be with you, Reid, but don’t make me hate you. Please. Stop trying to make me feel hate. I don’t want to feel whatever it is you’re making me feel and then have it turn into that.”

I want her to tell me what I make her feel, but then I’d have to tell her what I feel and I’m not ready to name this feeling. I don’t think she really is either. What I want, so damn badly at this moment is to tell her everything. “Hurry downstairs,” I urge, kissing her firmly on the mouth and then turning away, a plan to expose all I can legally to Carrie tonight now in my mind. Somehow she doesn’t know our fathers are enemies. She deserves to know, but I know this will convince her I came at her company as an enemy when that’s simply not the case. I can only hope that once she’s around Cat and Gabe together, she’ll see that isn’t the case. I won’t let my father, or anyone else, hurt her or her company.

With that in mind, Elijah is back in my thoughts, and I head downstairs, pull my phone from my pocket to dial Royce, who answers on the first ring. “What do you have for me?” I ask, walking through the living room to exit onto the patio.

“If you mean about Elijah, we’re still working, but he has a couple of offshore accounts that look shady. More soon, but that should back him off if needed.”

“Excellent,” I say, leaning on the railing. “Exactly what I need. Get me proof as soon as possible.”

“Will do,” he agrees. “One thing before we hang up. I’ve been trying to catch up with you on a situation. Carrie wants me to help her investigate her father and I’m past due responding to my promise to follow up with her. I told her I’d do it, but I also told her I had to clear any conflict with you.”

I consider this a moment and decide my only hope that Carrie finds out what I can’t tell her is Royce, and I’m telling her what I can tonight. “I’d tell you to bill me, but there are some legal reasons some of the information you give her can’t be connected to me.”

“You want her to know,” he assumes.

“Hell yes I do, but I can’t tell her.”

“For legal reasons,” he assumes.

“Exactly.”

“I’m pretty good at finding out what no one else can.”

“It’s buried,” I say. “Good luck.”

He laughs. “I’ll tell my hacker brother Blake how little faith you have in him and the truth shall be found.”

“Warn me, man. I need a warning. She’s going to feel like I betrayed her.”

He’s silent several beats. “That sucks, but understood.”

We disconnect and my phone buzzes with a text message from Gabe: Get your ass to the motherfucking party.

“Reid.”

At the sound of Carrie’s voice, I happily ignore motherfucking Gabe and stick my phone back in my pocket. Turning, I find her standing in the doorway, looking good enough to eat in tight black jeans and an emerald green V-neck T-shirt. I’m instantly hot and hard, but then, this is Carrie. She keeps me hot and hard. “How much do you like macaroni and cheese?” I ask.

“I told you it’s my favorite. I love it. Why?”

I cross to stand in front of her, but I don’t touch her. Yet. “Then you shouldn’t have worn those jeans, because I’m going to have to take them off of you now.” I reach for her, my hand on her hip, dragging her against my own hips, the thick pulse of my erection at her belly.

“Oh no,” she says, catching my hand. “You promised me mac n’ cheese. You better deliver.”

“We can be fast and still have mac n’ cheese.”

“I’m starving, Reid. I’ll have to lay there and let you do all the work.”

I arch a brow. “And that’s a problem why?”

“The part where I said, I’m starving.”

“Right. You need food. Okay then. As long as we’re back here by five, we’ll have time to fuck before we head to the chopper.”

She laughs. “You’re crazy.”

My voice lowers, a rasp in its depth. “For you, baby, yes I am.”

“Reid,” she whispers softly and then smiles big. “Because I’m the only one not afraid of you.”

“Maybe you should be,” I say grimly, hating that reminder.

Her hand flattens on my chest. “Stop trying to scare me off, Reid. I knew your reputation when I cuffed you to the bed. You didn’t scare me then. You won’t scare me now.”

“You haven’t met my family yet,” I joke, but I’m thinking about my father, not Gabe and Cat. I’m thinking about the fact that she’s just mimicked my thoughts. She did know my reputation. But she didn’t know who I was before I met her. And she damn sure didn’t know that my father hates her father like hers hates mine: passionately, vindictively, and with such perfect hate that it’s driving us right there with them.