What am I doing what am I doing what am I doing?

I chant to myself as we cut through town, but I really start to chant it when I realize that we’ve more or less passed all the restaurants on the main strip. What am I doing— literally? Where are we going? I want to ask, but I’ve already said that I’ll go anywhere with Heath, so who am I to start demanding an explanation at this point? Besides…nervous as I am, I don’t think I’m actually in any danger. For one, Heath is just too well known to do something as stupid as kidnap me. And two? He just…well…he feels safe.

How can someone make me feel safe and nervous all at once?

“Wait…” I say when he takes a sudden turn. “Are we going to…”

“You said anywhere,” he reminds me.

“My apartment? That’s where we’re going?” I ask, stunned. He’s got my address the same way he had my phone number, and it’s not exactly shocking that he knew what complex it’s in— the town only has two apartment complexes, after all. Mine, Pine Knoll, is full of streets with pine-tree-themed names. I live on Needle Way, which yes, I know, sounds like a drug alley.

“You said I make you nervous. I figured being in your own place would make you less nervous,” Heath says, but does so in a way that makes me think he might like all this nervousness a little more than he’s letting on.

“I don’t…” I swallow. “I didn’t plan on anyone seeing where I live.”

“You didn’t plan on getting in a wreck with me either, but here we are,” he says. He parks the car and gets out, hurrying around to open my door for me before I can even grab the handle. I flush for the thousandth time this evening. No one’s ever opened a door for me before, not even back on prom night.

“This isn’t dinner, though,” I remind him. “Because trust me, if you think I’ve got food up there, you’re about to be disappointed.”

“We’ll order pizza,” he says with a shrug.

“That’ll take forever.”

“We’ll fill the time,” he answers, and that smokiness is back in a way that makes me core tremble. I bite my lip again, shoulder my purse, and start toward my apartment door. God, please tell me I didn’t leave anything embarrassing lying around. Please please please please. I’m reaching toward the lock when I freeze— because Heath’s hand is on my shoulder, gentle but strong.

“To get this out of my system,” he says in a growling whisper, and I tense as he lets his hand slide down and off my shoulder, down my back, to my waist. I close my eyes and try to catch my breath as Heath slinks his arm around my stomach and turns me to face him. With my eyes shut, I don’t see it coming, but I sense it all the same. He wraps his other arm around me and delicately pulls me toward him, then presses his lips to mine.

I’m so overpowered by the sensation that I do nothing for a beat, then I almost, almost pull away…and as if he feels my intention, Heath tightens his grip on me as if to tell me that this is fine, that he’s in charge, that I can give in. My knees tremble, and finally I lean into him, shakily parting my mouth for him, glowing at the feel of his tongue flicking against my lips. I practically have to look straight up to kiss him like this, he’s so tall, and—

I gasp and my eyes spring open when Heath unexpectedly grabs my waist and lifts me straight up into the air. My legs scramble, but he pulls me toward him and I instinctively wrap them around his waist to balance myself. He kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before; not the hard, pressing way that bruises my lips, the way men think women want to be kissed. No, it’s more…firm. Strong. Confident, like he is. I’m not surprised that Heath kisses this way, but I can’t believe that I’m on the other end of it.

He finally pulls away from me, and I find myself leaning forward, unwilling to let the kiss end. What the hell is happening to me? I try to shake off the dizzy, flighty feeling racing through my veins, but there’s no way that’s going to happen while he’s literally holding me to his chest. I breathe slow, and he watches me.

“There. Now I can keep my hands off you for a while, I think,” he says in a growling, practical voice.

“I…um…” I have lost the ability to speak. Or maybe it’s just that there are about eight thousand things I want to say at the moment, ranging from “put me down” to “don’t you dare put me down.”

“Too much?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow. From this close, I can see a handful of scars on his forehead, thin but deeper than I’d have guessed from a distance.

“No,” I say. “Just…I didn’t think…”

He slowly, carefully unwinds my legs from his waist, setting me down firmly in front of him. Stunned, I jam my key into the lock and open the door of my house. I step inside, fumble for the light by the door, and flick it on. Thankfully, the most embarrassing thing in plain sight is the truly impressive collection of empty Diet Coke cans by my sink.

“This is where I live,” I say, like I’m giving the world’s most boring Cribs tour.

“It’s nice,” he says, but he isn’t looking at the surroundings. He’s looking at me.

“I’m not here often,” I explain despite the fact that he didn’t ask. I turn to look at him. “I’m not much of a homebody.”

“Me neither. That’s why I joined the SEALS. See the world, you know. And shoot at a lot of it.”

“Oh. That’s not why I rented a place here,” I say.

“I gathered,” he says, and smiles, a little broader than he has before— I suppose because he knows we’re alone here. It makes me smile back at him.

“You have a nice smile,” I say, the words fluttery in my mouth.

“So do you. You have a lot of nice features—“

“Wait,” I say, and put a hand up to his chest, laying it flat across his muscles. I groan a little at how much I like the way he feels; warm and hard and powerful. “This is all going really fast. I’m not sure I understand. I thought maybe you hated me.”

“You’re too cute for me to hate you. I get a kick out of you, actually. Like how you yelled at me. In a bathrobe.”

“And that does it for you?” I ask. It’s a more serious question than I think he realizes.

“People don’t usually yell at me. Especially when they’re in bathrobes. Especially when they’re at fault in an accident. I like your nerve.”

“It wasn’t totally my fault. You braked out of nowhere.”

“See? I like that.”

I don’t know that I believe him, but I’m also not sure what else to say. I exhale, shake my head. “Do you want a drink?”

“No.”

“Did you want to order food now?”

“No.” He doesn’t take his eyes off of mine as he answers, and the gaze makes me feel like I’m being hypnotized. I know what he’s thinking. I know what he wants to do. And I’m terrified— both by him, and by how much I want the same thing.

I lick my lips fearfully. “Heath—“

“Hm?” he asks, stepping closer.

“I don’t really know you.”

“I’m happy to stop, if you want,” he says, but his voice is a tender growl again. “Say the word.”

I open my mouth. Responsible, caretaker, rational Karli wants to say the word— to say “stop”. But…Responsible Karli seems to be on vacation at the moment. In her place is a version of Karli who is desperate to feel Heath’s mouth again.

The excitable, adventurous Karli that I packed up ages ago, a version of myself that I thought was long gone.

“Would you like to order pizza, Karli?” Heath asks, taking a step closer to me.

“No,” I whisper.

He takes another step closer, and his voice lowers. “Would you like to kiss me again, Karli?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

And now he’s right up to me, towering over me. He runs his fingers across the angel wings that I forgot I’m still wearing, then along my shoulder, fingering the straps to my dress. My eyes drift shut at the feeling. His hand continues to move along the material, until he’s running it along the neck of the dress, his fingers gently running along the fabric’s interior edge and across my cleavage. My heart pounds and I wince at a rush of unexpected but not at all unwelcome want.

“Will you let me fuck you?” he asks.

My eyes spring open at the word, at the way it sounds so simultaneously crude and hot. He’s looking me dead in the eye, like he knew exactly where my gaze would land. The question is real, and it’s desperate. He wants me, and based on the hunger radiating from his irises, he wants me just as badly as I want him.

“Yes,” I breathe, and Heath sweeps forward, encompassing me in his arms, pulling me up against him. This time, I wrap my legs around him without hesitation.