Lina didn’t come back to her apartment until late the following night. Later than her usual shift at the club by several hours. She didn’t see me when she turned the corner. For one thing, the streetlamp was busted so it was pitch-black. For another, she expected me to be in Florida, so she had no reason to look for me. But I hadn’t gone to Florida, not after that second text of hers telling me she’d taken money out of my wallet. Instead, I’d been standing here, freezing my ass off, waiting for her as snow fell.

I didn’t care about the money. I just didn’t like that she hadn’t even had enough for a taxi to get home.

When I’d looked through the kitchen cabinets at her apartment, they’d been empty. In her refrigerator, she had water and eggs. She told me she ate at the club and made the excuse of not liking to cook, but there wasn’t a single takeout container in the place. I wasn’t sure I believed her, and I didn’t like it. She couldn’t weigh more than one hundred pounds. She was in some sort of trouble. I now had no doubt of that.

Lying about school had been one thing. I believed she needed space and time to heal after what happened with her grandfather, with the loss of everything. She probably blamed herself for turning over evidence. The innocent always suffered more than the guilty.

I needed to figure out what kind of trouble she was in.

As her steps neared the house, I stood. A motion detector lit up the space. Lina stopped, clutched her chest, and stumbled backward, as if she’d turn and run. I took a step forward, so she’d see my face.

She’d been crying. I could see it in her red, puffy eyes. She covered her face with her hands and rubbed before facing me.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Florida.”

“I postponed my trip.”

She shook her head, as if having some discussion in her head, and walked up the stairs, brushed past me, and slid the key into the lock. I didn’t miss how her fingers trembled.

“Are you okay?”

She pushed the door open a little but stopped, dropping her head. “I don’t want to see you, Damon. I told you—”

“What kind of trouble are you in, Lina?”

She glanced at me, and I noticed a smear of gold across her cheek. Makeup?

“I have to go,” she said, opening the door and stepping inside. “Just respect my wish and leave me alone.”

I smelled liquor on her breath.

“Answer my question first.”

She stood with her back to me, but I held the door and wouldn’t let it go.

“I am so tired, you have no idea.” Her voice broke.

“Are you drunk?”

“Not enough liquor in the world.”

I turned her to face me. Tears wet the skin around eyes that were shadowed and dark. Like she hadn’t slept in a long time. I saw more of that strange gold on a strand of hair that had fallen free of her hat. Reaching my hand up, I went to pull it off.

She placed hers over the top of mine. “Don’t.”

Ignoring her, I slowly drew the hat off. She didn’t even fight me. Her hair was painted gold. Not only that, her neck too, and the backs of her hands.

“What the hell is this?”

She stared up at me, unwilling or unable to answer. But I didn’t need her to answer. I could guess.

“Please go away.”

“No. You’re in some sort of trouble and it’s bad and I’m not walking away.”

Her lip trembled, and her face fell, her eyes pools of water. She clutched the collar of my coat and pressed her forehead into my chest. A sob rocked her body.

I looked down at the top of her head, at her hair matted with gold paint, and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me, smearing gold paint onto my coat as I held her. She cried for what felt like a long time, heavy weeping that made her tremble.

“Let’s go upstairs,” I said, taking the keys from her hand and leading her up.

She came without resisting, and when I opened the apartment door, she went inside. She didn’t wait for me but walked directly into the bedroom. I followed to watch her stripping off her coat, dropping it on the floor. Her sweater was next, then her jeans. She was naked underneath, and every inch of her, every inch apart from the tattoos, was covered in gold.

“What is this?” I asked, a rage beginning to boil inside me.

Without answering, Lina went into the bathroom, plugged the drain, and switched on water so hot, it steamed almost immediately. She stepped into the tub, flinching at the heat but forcing herself to stay. She lowered herself down. I stood in the doorway and watched her hug her knees as water filled the tub, a golden sea around her.

“Lina.” I took off my coat, pushed up my sleeves, and went to her.

She wouldn’t look at me. She kept her eyes closed. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as the water reached the tops of her arms.

“What happened tonight?” I asked, adjusting the temperature. I pulled my sweater off and burned my arm when I reached down to unplug the drain and let the golden water wash away.

Her face wrinkled at my question, but she didn’t answer, didn’t move. She seemed unable to even lift her arms to wash herself. I picked up the soap and washcloth and began to scrub the paint from her back, shoulders, and arms, rubbing harder than I needed to, wanting it gone, needing it gone.

“What happened?” I asked again, not wanting to hear her answer, knowing already where she’d been.

I plugged the tub again once much of the gold had disappeared down the drain. When the water was deep enough, I took the cup on the edge of the tub and poured water over her head, then shampooed her hair, the gold sticky there. It took three shampoos before I got it out. Three times of emptying the tub and refilling it, the hot water running out. All the while, she just sat there, letting me.

Only when every speck of that paint was gone did I stop. I knelt beside the tub and looked at her sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, eyes downcast, her face, blotchy from crying, flushed from the hot water. I took her chin in my hand and forced her to look at me.

“Did someone hurt you?” I asked, choking on the words.

She dragged her gaze to mine, confused for a moment, then looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.

“Not yet.” She reached her arms up and wrapped them around my neck and closed her mouth over mine, kissing me, pulling me into her, her arms wet. It was as though she couldn’t get close enough. As though she’d burrow right under my skin. Disappear there.

I took her wrists and drew them off. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes. But right now, I wanted answers. I needed them.

“Lina.”

She took my face in her hands and smiled a sad little smile. “Just kiss me. Please, Damon. Kiss me.”

Lina didn’t wait for me to do what she wanted. And when she kissed me again, I didn’t resist. I kept my hands wrapped around her wrists, but this time, I didn’t push her away. We rose to stand together, water dripping off her into the tub, her naked body yielding, making me wet as it molded against me. I released one wrist to cup the back of her head, kissing her harder, her lips soft and open, her taste like whiskey and need. Lifting her in my arms, I held her to me, not caring I was as drenched as she was, needing this for this one moment, needing her this close. Needing her mouth on my mouth.

I grabbed a towel, carried her into the bedroom, and dragged my lips away to sit her on the edge of the bed. I wrapped the towel over her shoulders and looked at her, her sad eyes wide on my face as she clutched the towel to herself.

I took a moment in the bathroom, breathing in a deep breath, gathering my strength. I grabbed a towel and dried myself, then returned to the bedroom to sit beside her. Lina turned to me, looked me over. She pushed her towel off her shoulders and straddled my lap.

“No,” I said, taking hold of her arms. “Lina, no.”

She kissed my face, then my mouth, her nipples grazing my naked chest.

“Stop. I told you this can’t happen again.”

“Why not?” she asked, her breath damp on my face, my lips.

“It just can’t.”

“Then why are you here?” she asked, her eyes closing when she kissed my mouth again.

It took all I had to not kiss her back, not to throw her down on the bed and lay my full weight on top of her, sink my cock into her, and have her.

Gritting my teeth, I gripped her wrists and stood, forcing her to stand. “This is too fucking hard.” I pushed her into the chair in the room. I needed to put distance between us. If I didn’t—

She watched as I walked away, then back. I leaned over her and took hold of her arms. “Tell me what that stuff was. The gold. Tell me what it was for and where you were and what you meant when you said no one hurt you yet.”

Her face shut down. She looked at her hands in her lap, then began to pick at a cuticle.

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me,” I said when she wouldn’t look at me.

When she turned her face up, she gave me a strange sort of smile. “I don’t need help. I’m not asking you for it.”

“I think you do need help. I think you’re in something that’s way over your head.”

“I was at a party, Damon. I worked a party.”

My jaw tightened along with my hands. She didn’t tell me to let her go, though.

“I worked one of Alexi’s parties. They painted us gold. That’s what that was, just some makeup. I’ll get paid tomorrow. I’ll return the fifty bucks I took from you then.”

“This isn’t about money, and you know it,” I said through gritted teeth.

She cocked her head to the side. “What’s it about, then?”

Her face was harder, her eyes colder and completely closed off to me. That girl that I’d held in the bath, she was gone. She was so far gone, I almost wasn’t sure she’d been there at all.

I released her. Lina went to the bed and reached beneath the pillow to take out a worn white shirt, which she slipped over her head. It came to the very tops of her thighs and left everything in plain sight. The thought of her at a party, naked, painted gold for everyone to look at, it made me want to put my fist through the goddamned wall.

“What do you mean you worked the party?” I asked, teeth gritted, wanting her to deny what she implied.

“What do you think I mean?” she asked, her hand on her hip. “You’re right. I don’t live here for free, Damon. I pay. Just not with money. I make myself available to Alexi. I let him parade me around. He likes the tattoos. I let him use me however he wants, and I get paid for it.”

I watched her face as she said it, heard how cold and hollowed out she sounded.

“I don’t believe you.” I said, my voice low and hoarse, fists so tight my fingernails cut into my skin. “You told me…” I turned away, ran a hand through my hair, tugging it hard before facing her again, taking her by her hair and pulling her head back hard.

She made a sound, and I knew I was hurting her. I just…I couldn’t stop.

I didn’t want to.

“You told me you don’t do that for him. You told me.”

She tried to grin, but I twisted my fingers and wiped that grin off her face.

“I lied,” she said. “I lied about that like I’ve lied about everything else. You just don’t want to see it.”

I searched her face. Watched the tears that collected at the corners of her eyes. I released her with a jerk, tossing her onto the bed.

“You want to spank me again, Damon? You want me to bend over the bed? Maybe use your belt this time? Really teach me a lesson? Just be careful,” she goaded. “Maybe you won’t stop at licking my pussy this time. Maybe you won’t be able to resist fucking me this time.”

I walked to where my sweater lay between the bathroom and bedroom and picked it up.

“How do you want me?” she asked, goading me.

I turned around to find her standing by the foot of the bed. She dragged her gaze over my bare chest to my jeans, then came to me, closed her hand over the buckle of my belt.

“How do you want me?” she asked again, this time, sounding on edge, hard, but also broken. Like a broken little doll.

I covered her hand. “Don’t do this.”

“How? How do you want me?”

“Stop. Lina, stop this.” What in hell had happened to her?

Red rimmed her eyes. “Why?”

“Because this isn’t you.” I shoved her out of my way and pulled my sweater on. “You’re drunk, and this isn’t you.”

“It is me! That girl you knew? Lina? She’s gone, Damon. Long gone. It’s just Kat now. This is exactly me.” Her face, for a moment, crumpled. She blinked, forcing that weakness away, but not before I glimpsed that vulnerability.

This was a cry for help. I knew it. I couldn’t believe what she said. It was her way of pushing me away even as she begged for help.

“How much did you drink?” I asked, harder now, firmer. She didn’t need me to be soft with her. Not now. She didn’t even want it.

She shrugged a shoulder and turned away.

“Where’s your purse?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. She’d dropped it on the floor in the bedroom. I opened it and took out the half bottle of whiskey. “Please tell me you didn’t drink all this tonight.”

“What’s it to you?”’

“Fuck, Lina—”

“Fuck Lina’s about right. But if you’re not going to fuck me, then get out.”

I stalked up to her and took her jaw in my hand, hauling her higher so she stood on tiptoe. I still had to lean down, so we were eye to eye.

“You know what, Lina, I believe you. I believe that you’re lying. You’re lying about this.”

“Ask me if I liked it,” she taunted.

“Shut up.”

“Ask me. Ask me if I liked everyone watching me.”

“Goddamn it, I said shut up.” I gripped her arm and stripped the covers off the bed, then tossed her onto it. As soon as I stepped away, though, she sat back up.

“Lay down,” I ordered, my voice low and hard.

“I thought you’d prefer me bent over.”

“Shut up and lay the fuck down. You’re going to sleep this off.”

“Make me shut up. Make me. Make me lay down.”

“Yeah? That’s what you want?” I looked down at her and stepped closer, looming over her so that she had to tilt her head way back to see me. I was just pissed off enough to do what she asked.

Her eyes grew wide, and she didn’t speak. Nice change.

“You want me to make you?” I unbuckled my belt. Her eyes locked on it as I tugged it free of my jeans with a whoosh. “This what you want?” I asked her, flipping her onto her belly, lifting her shirt up to bare her little ass.

“Damon—”

“Sobers you up pretty quickly, doesn’t it?” I straddled her hips and took her arms, drew them over her head, and wound my belt around her wrists and through one bar of the headboard, securing her to it.

“What are you doing?” she struggled, but it was done.

I got off her, and she turned to watch as I went into her closet and returned a moment later with two scarves.

“Damon.”

I tugged one of her legs out to the right and secured her ankle to the footboard.

“What are you doing?”

She struggled, but I took her left leg and pulled it wide before binding it to the bed.

I stepped back to look at her lying prone on the bed, bound, spread wide—fuck, it hurt my cock to look at her, at her bared ass, the slit of her sex. I hadn’t needed to do that. Hadn’t needed to bind her like that.

I forced my gaze to her face. “On your belly, so you don’t choke if you puke.” I put my sweater on, taking my time now. I lifted the blanket to cover her but not before I gave her ass a hard smack.

“Ow! Fuck you.”

“By the way, I will take you up on your offer later, Kat. I’d love to whip that ass of yours, but I want you sober so you feel every lick of my belt.” I picked up my coat and walked into the other room. “I’ll be on the other side of this door. You just holler if you need anything. Get some sleep.”

I took the half-empty bottle of whiskey and pulled the door closed behind me, her cries of “you can’t do this” and “you can’t leave me here like this” making me smile a little. After taking a sip of the cheap whiskey, I flinched and dumped the rest down the drain then settled on the couch for a short night’s sleep. The only thing that made me feel better was knowing she was going to be hurting tomorrow after the shit she said to me tonight.