Chapter One- Lucy

I looked around my tiny living room filled with boxes, unsure where I was going to put everything. The apartment was charming, located above the Victorian home of one of the sweetest old ladies I’d ever met in New York. I was lucky to have found it when I needed it most. I carried a box into the small kitchen with a sigh, tackling it first. The window was wide open as Pandora played from my phone on the counter as I tried not to think about the rubble that was now the only thing left of my lab.

I had opened it after college with stars in my eyes. My goal was to produce the best green solutions to reduce air pollution.

Living in a big city, I was well-aware of the thick smog that filled the air and how it impacted air quality. I loved combining my ideas and those of my staff to find the best solution. I’d felt that way since I was in school, and I knew that I was the same geek now as I was back then. I was just a slightly broken version of her after the fire three months ago that forced me out of my apartment and into this one while I waited for the insurance company to reimburse me for my losses.

I hadn’t purchased a great policy since I had been just starting out and regretted it now. They were not making this easy, but Mrs. Hastings was looking for a little extra income and offered me the one-bedroom apartment for a great cost.

I was working at a friend’s lab, pursuing the same goals as before, but it wasn’t like being at my own place where I could be there any time that I wanted. At Grant’s lab, I had to work around his staff. I never felt fully at home there, even though he assured me that I was welcome to anything that I needed. I just didn’t feel like it was mine. That was a familiar feeling after my relationship with Braden Lintier that had ended six months ago. I tried to spend as little time there as possible, only working to pay the little bit of rent and bills that I had while I waited for the money to come through for my lab so I could rebuild and continue with my dream.

Now I had the distraction of moving in, so I organized my stuff with a little bit of false cheer and bravado. I was on my own and making it despite my troubles, acting like a strong woman. I knew that I was smart and had a lot of heart, but Braden’s verbal abuse had stuck with me since we were together. I had low self-esteem now and was struggling with that even more since the fire – something I wouldn’t put past Braden. I changed my name from Lucy Miller to Lucinda Graves to get away from him, but it would not be difficult to find me considering my job. He’d stalked me before, which had driven me to make the name change, but he wasn’t stupid. He could find me. I just wanted a chance to start all over and Lucy aside – along with all of the mistakes that she made.

I shuddered as I thought about the abuse that he put me through. My mind blocked out a lot of the physical abuse – the way that he tried to manipulate me into having sex with him – but I knew that I needed some time to recover. He had done his damage and hopefully would leave me alone now. I just wanted peace.

I finished the kitchen and moved to the little bedroom that had come furnished for me. That was a big bonus since had Braden owned everything from our place together. I hung my clothes and put out pictures of my parents. I had lost them when I was just fifteen years old. These touches made the apartment feel like it was mine. I saw some boxes on the floor and clipped back my caramel curls to do a little digging and see what else I had room for.

The first one was all high school memorabilia. I had kept all my yearbooks in this box as well as some old books and notebooks that I used for notes. I opened one and cringed at the poem that I found, remembering my brother’s best friend Max Ranlin. It was all about him, as were many of the things I wrote back then – my silly crush on a guy that I’d never have. My brother Cameron moved to Montana after college and hadn’t mentioned Max in a while. Maybe they weren’t friends any longer. I had no idea, but picturing Max in my head made me smile to myself.

He was always good-looking: tousled chestnut hair and bright green eyes with a hint of gold to them. I had a crush on him – so did all my friends in high school. I blushed as I thought back to the party he’d thrown when he was going to college years ago.

It was wild, as Max had so many friends and admirers. I went with Cameron to make an appearance since Max was like a member of the family. I was more than likely the youngest person there, being a freshman, but everybody was kind to me because Cameron was my brother.

They were also terrified to look at me the wrong way since Cameron was so protective of me. Max could be as well. I didn’t think I’d date until they went to college, if I was lucky. I mingled with some of the girls at the party, always aware of where the guest of honor was. I was a nerd in school – interested in science and math. The others were more on the jock side, but we all got on well together for a night here and there.

I had walked outside to get some fresh air and peace after dancing for a while. I was sweaty, and the music seemed to get louder by the hour. I glanced around to see if any of the surrounding houses were lit up, awakened by the party. Max lived in a nice neighborhood in Long Island. His parents were wealthy from his father’s work as a surgeon. There was a lot of space between the houses, but the music was so loud.

“What are you doing out here?” A voice asked. I jumped and turned to face Max. He was grinning drunkenly and holding a red cup in his hand as I glared at him.

“You scared me! I was just getting some air.” I gestured around with my hand. “Don’t any of these people care that you’re having a party?”

Max laughed before he finished off whatever was in the cup. “I talked to them in advance. They were cool with it.”

I knew him all too well and shook my head as I wandered back to the koi pond in the back, feeling him moving with me. “You paid them off?”

“Yup,” he admitted as I took a seat, trying to see the fish in the dark. “I’ll only go away to college once, you know.”

“That’s true,” I admitted. I felt sadness passing through me. I saw him so much, him being my brother’s best friend, so it hurt to think of Max being so far away. There would always be holidays and summers, but it wouldn’t be the same. I looked forward to seeing him on a regular basis – my crush on him was so strong.

“Are you going to miss me, Luce?” Max pressed as I gazed curiously at him. His eyes were dark. I couldn’t quite see them, but something about them made me shiver. I licked my lips.

“Of course. You practically live at our house.” I shrugged and sipped the soda that I had carried out with me. “Nobody will be there to give me shit. Even Cam is leaving to go to Harvard.”

“I’ll be back. Of course, you could give me something to remember you by,” he hinted as I raised a brow at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked shyly as he sat down and turned to face me. We were all alone. I froze as he stared into my eyes. Things were different than it had ever been before with him. I glanced towards the house as he reached out to stroke my cheek.

“I’ve only seen you get more gorgeous by the year, Lucy. I’ve wondered what it might be like to kiss you.” His voice was a whisper, and I felt my heart jump into my throat.

“What?” I was the school nerd and he was a smart football player. What could he want with me?

“Can I?” Max asked as me scooted closer and cupped my face. I nodded slowly and he pressed his lips to mine, tasting of beer and peppermint.

I knew that I’d never enjoy a kiss like this again. I was crazy about him. He tilted his head and ran his tongue against my lower lip as I trembled and gasped against him. I gave in and he swept my mouth with his tongue, meeting mine as his other hand wrapped around my hip. I felt heat wash over me – throbbing deep inside. I blushed as I moved closer. I’d only had a couple awkward kisses before this that steered me away from ever wanting another one, but this was the opposite. This made me want everything.

We kissed harder until the moment passed. Hell, it might have been hours, but I was lost in the feeling of our lips meeting and his hand stroking me over my clothes. He wasn’t pushing for anything more than a kiss, but I wanted him everywhere inside and would give myself up if only he asked.

I was terrified of that truth as he pulled away and kissed my jaw. Someone called his name and Max turned with a low growl to stare at the house. “It’s Cam,” I whispered as he nodded and stared at me for a moment. He stood slowly and looked at me again before running his hands through his hair and walking away.

I blinked as I looked around my messy bedroom, still affected by that kiss twelve years later. What an idiot I am. I kept unpacking until I grew tired, taking a shower before I dropped into bed.