Chapter One
Olivia’s phone beeped beside her and she turned it over so she wouldn’t be troubled by the flashing light. She needed to get through this last hour without any more distractions. A woman was holding a stack of three books in her hand and waiting at the till when Olivia returned to take up her post. Three books was good, but not enough to hit her target for the day. A few people would have to miraculously appear in this last hour and purchase at least ten more books between them. The trouble was that nobody was buying physical books anymore, so independent bookstores such as the one Olivia was working at made very little money now.
She smiled at the woman anyway as she zapped the barcodes on the books and then put them in a small paper bag for her. The woman handed Olivia the exact change and walked away. Olivia sighed. She looked at her watch again, fifty-five more minutes to go.
The bookstore was empty again. Stacks of freshly printed books were piled on the front table, trying to attract passersby into the store to flip through them and, hopefully, make a purchase. Olivia stood behind the till desk, looking hopefully at the people on the street. She needed to make her target for the day, or it could mean risking her job. The management was cracking down on employees now, and getting strict with their sales targets.
Olivia caught a reflection of herself in the shop window as she remained standing, looking out. Her usual brown curls looked frizzy, given that she hadn’t had the time to properly condition them in a while. Her large gray eyes looked wide and sleep deprived, especially without any makeup. Even her lips looked chapped and tired. She quickly reached for the lip gloss she usually stored in one of the drawers and ran the tube over her lips once, knowing full well that just some lip gloss wasn’t going to cut it.
Her phone beeped again and, this time, she reached for it. The store was empty so there was no point denying herself the distraction from her boredom.
She’d received a couple of messages from Sophie again. She was in town now and wanted to meet up. Olivia sighed and rolled her eyes. They had been friends since kindergarten and had grown up together. Now Sophie lived in New York and had a fancy job at a publishing house, while Olivia was still stuck in their hometown.
She quickly sent a response back to Sophie, letting her know that she would only have a few hours on Saturday afternoon to meet. The rest of the time, she’d be busy at the bookstore or with Maya. Olivia loved Sophie, just as much as she knew Sophie loved her. But it was getting increasingly difficult to keep up with Sophie’s lifestyle now. She didn’t have the fancy lifestyle that Sophie enjoyed, didn’t live a high-flying corporate life, didn’t own the designer shoes or handbags that Sophie now flaunted. A rift was slowly developing between them, and Olivia was recognizing that they had less in common and fewer things to talk about. But she couldn’t let Sophie go, despite everything that had happened. She was still her best friend.
Sophie replied with an excited text and an invite to come over to her parents’ home, and Olivia put her phone away. It was back to praying that she got a few more customers in before closing time.
The boredom of not having anything to do resulted in her mind drifting to thoughts of Sophie again…and this time, Rufus as well, Sophie’s older brother. Rufus Frost. He was the guy who Olivia had grown up around, her teenage fantasy. She had spent her whole life drooling over and pining for him.
Rufus was destined for stardom, he always had been. In school, Rufus was one of the popular kids, while Olivia and his sister were the nerds. However, Rufus always looked out for them and made sure that nobody ever picked on Sophie or her best friend. Not on his watch.
College was the same. Rufus was the town hero, the rising football star who was going to take the town and the college to national prominence. Girls threw themselves at him, boys wanted to be him and parents wished he was their son. Nobody was left out of Rufus Frost’s charm spectrum, least of all Olivia.
She grew up in his shadow, admiring him for his looks, his good nature and of course his superstardom. But Rufus had always been out of Olivia’s league. She knew that. Which was why, when he joined the NFL and his charisma and success carried on to the national level, nobody was happier to see him go than Olivia. She didn’t want to be in his presence anymore, she didn’t want to suffer all her life, pining away for a man she could never have. Even though it had seemed for some time, to her at least, that they might actually have a chance, Olivia knew the truth was that they never did. Rufus didn’t feel the same way. To him, Olivia Snyder was nothing more than his sister’s best friend.
The bell hanging over the bookstore door tinkled, snapping Olivia out of her thoughts. A customer had walked in! The middle-aged man looked around the shop for a minute, his hands flying over the bookshelves, dragging out titles he thought he wanted. Olivia watched from the till with a smile on her face, ready to recommend books or spark up a conversation that might eventually lead to a sale.
The man walked out of the store empty-handed. It was almost like the universe was teasing her. She was going to have to go home without having met her target today, bringing her one day closer to losing her job.
***
Olivia parked outside her mother’s house and remained sitting in the car for a few minutes longer. She needed to compose herself before she went it. The door was left open as usual, as her mother was never in a habit to lock the house. Olivia walked in, adding a forced spring to her step and pasting a smile onto her face.
Her mom was in the living room, in front of the television, with Maya on her lap.
“Hello, kids,” Olivia greeted them chirpily. Her mom and Maya both turned, both equally happy to see her.
“Hi, honey. How was your day with Nana?” Olivia reached for her daughter, who grabbed her by the neck and hung from it while they cuddled. Maya had not started talking properly yet, but could say a few words, which always made Olivia proud. She was certain that her daughter was going to be a genius.
“How was your day?” Jen, Olivia’s mother, asked.
“Good, good. We had a busy day at the store,” Olivia replied, still hugging her daughter and trying to avoid her mother’s inquisitive stare.
“Really? I heard from Lucy that they’re planning on closing the store down. Not enough customers.” Jen had folded her arms across her chest and was glaring at Olivia while she spoke.
“I don’t know why Lucy would say that. The store is doing really well now.” Olivia was still not looking at her mother, instead busying herself with smoothing the delicate blonde curls around Maya’s angelic face.
“So you’re meeting your targets?” Jen still urged, and Olivia rolled her eyes.
“Yes, mom. Will you leave it be? I have to go now.” She whipped around quickly, with Maya still in her arms, and rummaged around to pick up the bags that she’d brought over in the morning. Jen was awfully quiet as she watched Olivia clearing up the mess of toys that Maya had made.
“Olivia,” Jen said, in a low, worried tone.
“What, mom?”
“You’ll tell me if things are going badly?”
“Yes, I will, mom. I can manage it myself.” Olivia positioned Maya on the crook of her hip and then came over to give her mother a quick hug.
“It’s Maya I’m worried about. She’s going to turn two in a few months, her necessities and expenses are only going to grow.” Jen still had that worried voice as she spoke. Olivia pulled herself away from her mother slowly and looked at her. Olivia knew her mother meant well, but she didn’t want to cause worry.
“We’ll be fine, mom. Thanks for your help, though.” Olivia tried to smile weakly while stroking her mother’s arm at the same time.
“Why can’t the father help, too?” Jen hurled the words at her and Olivia turned around to start walking away. Not this again!
“Don’t start, mom. I told you he doesn’t want to be involved.” Olivia zipped up the bags and started to walk towards the front door.
“Can’t we sue him and make him pay?” Jen stood up painfully from the couch. Her hip was getting worse.
“I don’t want him involved either, mom. Please, just forget it.” Olivia had opened the door now and was distractedly smiling at Maya while she played with her earlobe.
“Olivia…”
“I have to go now, mom.” She blew her mom a kiss and was out of the door and down the steps when she remembered. She rushed back into the house and found Jen still standing in the middle of the living room where she had left her.
“Can I drop Maya off on Saturday afternoon for a few hours? Sophie is going to be in town,” Olivia asked, and Jen nodded.
“Of course, honey.” Jen smiled at her daughter, with a little sadness in her eyes.
“Thanks, mom. See you Saturday,” Olivia said, with a quick wave, and was off towards the car again.
“Hi, baby. Sorry I was late again today. We’ll go home straight away, won’t we?” She was settling Maya into the car seat as she spoke. She liked to chat with her casually like she was already a grown up. The truth was that Olivia didn’t have anybody else to talk to. The bookstore was always empty, her own apartment was devoid of any adults and she had lost touch with all her friends because she didn’t have the time for them.
So Maya was the only person she could actually have conversations with. Olivia settled into her own seat and strapped the seatbelt on. She turned to get a good look at her daughter, who was peacefully looking out of the window. Maya had Olivia’s curls but golden in color. The same wide eyes, but green. Maya was a quiet child, a baby who liked to think. Olivia laughed at that. She turned around and started the car. No matter what, there was nothing more important to her than her daughter.
The father wasn’t important, at least not anymore. If Olivia could have her way, play her cards right, Maya would never have to meet her father, never have to face the disappointment. Hopefully, she wouldn’t feel his absence, either. Hopefully, Olivia would be able to provide for her, care for her well enough that Maya never grew up wishing she had a father.
Olivia sighed as she drove. Maya was quiet as usual, watching the car whizz past the familiar neighborhoods. This wasn’t the life Olivia had imagined for herself. She had never thought she’d spend all her life in this town that had given her nothing. She had been all set for an internship as an Assistant Editor in New York, an opportunity which was even more lucrative than the one Sophie had been offered. They were both fresh out of college, ready to take on the world, ready to move to New York together and start a new life.
Then Olivia had found out she was pregnant and everything had changed. She couldn’t afford to move to New York and raise a child all by herself. She couldn’t afford a baby on an intern’s measly salary. She had to stay behind, take care of her child and watch as everybody else made a life for themselves. That was three years ago, and nothing had changed for her since then.