“Mia?” comes Liam’s voice through the phone.

I don’t say anything.

My heart is pounding in my chest. My body feels all tingly with anxiety.

“Mia, is that you? Are you there?”

Panicking, I press the red button to hang up and put the phone down.

I wait for it to ring again, and it does, and I send it straight through to voicemail.

Damnit, why did I just do that?

No, I’m not calling him to tell him that everything’s OK between us, and that I want to be with him. After all, how could I possibly be with him now that I’m back in my parent’s house, in my room, not able to go outside?

I was calling him to yell at him, to scream at him. I want to scream at him for using me, for selling me on a false cure that was never going to work. One that was never going to last. I want to scream in his face, but of course I can’t get close to him. The phone is the next best thing, I suppose.

My dad explained to me exactly what Liam’s hospital history is like, with regard to his extreme womanizing. It’s even worse than what I’d thought before. It’s even worse than what the nurse told me.

And he’s been suspended from the hospital. Mostly because he gave me this treatment that didn’t work. But also because of his long, long history of defying direct orders.

There was a time when I thought that made him seem exciting.

Of course, that was before I had my attack at his house.

Sure, he drove me to the hospital. But he’s a doctor. A good doctor. Why didn’t he treat me there? He said something about not having the blue drops on hand. But what good would they have done? I already took them that day.

My dad’s thrown away the methylene blue. The blue drops are gone forever. That foul tasting liquid did nothing but give me false hope.

My phone rings. Damnit, it’s probably Liam calling me back. Why did I have to call him in the first place, when I didn’t have the nerve to actually scream at him?

At the very least, I could have sent him an angry text message. That’s kind of lame. But I should have done it. It would have been easier that way. It would have gotten some of this anger off my chest.

I grab the phone, looking at it. To my surprise, it’s not Liam. It’s Shelly.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” I say.

“How are you holding up?”

I’ve already told her everything.

“Not good.”

“Damnit” says Shelly. “I’m so sorry this has happened to you.”

“Whatever,” I say. “I should have known…”

“But it was so nice to see you, when you were out…”

“I know,” I say. “You don’t have to tell me. Those were some of the best days of my life…”

“Hey,” says Shelly. “At least you’re not a virgin anymore.”

That actually makes me laugh. It’s not my true laugh, though. It’s a desperate laugh, in a way completely horrible.

“I guess,” I say. “Now I can sit in my room for the rest of my life knowing that I had sex once, with an opportunistic asshole.”

“Is he really that bad?” says Shelly. “I mean you liked him fine a week ago.”

“Yeah,” I say, my voice turning harsh. “He is that bad. He’s fucked up.”

Shelly doesn’t say anything. “I mean, maybe he was just trying to help?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “He’s supposedly this brilliant doctor and he did all this research. Shouldn’t he have known it wasn’t going to keep working? The crazy thing is that that’s exactly what my dad was telling me the whole time. He was worried about the treatment. And he was telling me we shouldn’t get our expectations up, that it might not last…”

“That really sucks,” says Shelly. “I hate it when my parents are right.”

That makes me laugh. Another desperate sound.

Shelly picks up on the strange sound of my laugher.

“I’ve never heard such a depressing laugh,” she says.

“What can I do?” I say. “I’m stuck in this room forever. I’m never coming out.”

“I’m sure they’ll find something. They always do. They’re always coming up for cures for weird diseases… not that it’s a weird disease.” She adds this last part hastily. I can tell she doesn’t want to offend me.

“It’s OK,” I say. “It is a weird disease.”

“Not that weird. I’m sure other people have it.”

“Like two in the whole country or something.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, and it’s not like there’s a lot of money to be made curing this. So the drug companies aren’t exactly working on a cure as we speak.”

“But the researchers? Come on, someone’s probably doing something now that will help in the future. You never know how these things will turn out.”

I don’t want to argue with her, but my mind’s already made up. I know I’m going to be stuck in this room forever.

“I’ll come visit you,” says Shelly. “I know I haven’t been good about it, but hell, I’ll come once a week if that’ll cheer you up.”

“I guess,” I say. “You’ll have to put on that mask and all that plastic gear.”

“That’s fine,” says Shelly. “At least I won’t have to put on makeup on those days.”

“That’s funny,” I say, without laughing. The laugher has died out of me.

“Well,” says Shelly. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go. I just wanted to call and check up on you. Call me anytime.”

“Thanks,” I say. “You got a date tonight or something?”

Shelly hesitates for a moment. I can tell she’s worried about hurting my feelings.

“It’s OK,” I say. “It’s not going to bother me if you’re going on a date.”

“OK,” says Shelly quickly. “You sure?”

“It’s fine,” I say. “I can live vicariously through you. What’s he like?”

“He’s gorgeous,” says Shelly. I can hear the desire in her voice.

“Have you already slept with him?”

“Maybe,” says Shelly, giggling. That’s a little unlike her.

“What happened? For some reason I thought this was your first date or something.”

“It is, but we met at the gym.”

“Shelly,” I say. “You fucked him at the gym?”

Shelly giggles even harder. “I couldn’t help it,” I say. “There was no one else there, and so I went into the showers…”

“You went into the men’s showers?” I say, my voice rising in disbelief.

“Yeah,” says Shelly. Her voice gets a wistful sound to it. “It was incredible. He took me right there in the shower… You should have seen him. He was buck naked, and his cock was already rock hard. He said it was because of me. He’d seen me in the gym.”

“Damn, Shelly,” I say. “You’re getting bolder.”

“I know,” says Shelly, sounding surprised herself.

“Well,” I say. “Have fun. Send pictures if you can.”

“You wish,” says Shelly, hanging up the phone.

Putting the phone down, I stare at the ceiling. The depression starts to take over quickly. Talking to Shelly was just a minor reprieve from my normal state. Yeah, depression has become my normal state.

At least I’m not a virgin anymore.

But I’m stuck in my room forever.

And what really bothers me is that I wasn’t anything important to Liam. I was just another fuck, another notch in his belt…

There’s a crashing sound outside. I hear somewhere muttering something. It sounds like swearing.

Next there’s a thud.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone had just fallen from a tree or something right outside my window.

Rushing to the window, I peer out of it.

There’s Liam, lying on the ground.

He’s wearing a tight white t-shirt and jeans, looking more muscular than ever.

He’s holding his knee, an expression of pain on his face. Did he just try to climb up the trellis outside and fall down?

He knows I can’t open the window.

What the hell is he doing here?