Chapter 2
Six Months Later…
Esmeralda Quinn sat with her hands tucked between her knees as she smoked a cigarette.
She didn't really want to, never really liked the taste, but it kept her occupied.
She needed the distraction.
She watched the members of the Lone Rangers meander about, most of them working.
Esmerelda didn't want to move from her spot just inside the clubhouse; she wanted to keep drinking, to keep smoking her cigarette, but Axel put a stop to that when he slammed one large hand onto the counter.
“Cut ‘er off. She’s done for the day,” He barked at the prospect behind the bar.
Esmerelda swiveled in her chair to meet him, her blue eyes washing over his scarred skin.
“What can I do ya for, cowboy?”
He scoffed and shook his head as he motioned towards her drink.
“Sober the fuck up, for starters.”
Slowly, surprised by the anger in Axel’s voice, Esmerelda lowered her glass and pushed it away from herself.
Axel nodded in approval.
“Good. Now go to Chris’s room, and pack your shit. You’re goin’ on a little vacation,” Axel said.
She blinked in confusion, her eyes widening.
“What?”
Axel ran a hand through his hair, a telltale sign that he was frustrated.
“Walk with me.”
She was met with the sight of the back of his cut and instantly moved to follow him.
“I don't understand,” She said softly.
Axel turned down the hallway that led to her, Chris’s, room.
“I know ya don't baby, and that’s my fault. I’ve been too soft on ya. But, I can't watch you wither away anymore. My brother died, but I won't let you go down with him.”
His kind amber eyes met hers and she swallowed her rude retort.
What do you know about it, she wanted to ask, but she refrained.
The reality of it was, Axel knew a lot about it.
“So you’re making me move out of the clubhouse?”
“No, I’m sending you to stay with a friend. Truth is, the beef with the Silver Bullets is heating up, and I don’t need you stuck in the crossfire if shit does go down.”
She narrowed her eyes and wrapped a hand around his forearm as he began to rifle through her room.
“Wait a minute! What if I don't wanna go?”
Axel paused in his search, his eyes landing on her.
“Esme, you don’t have a choice. Your old man would have my hide if he knew how bad I’ve let you down. You’re better than this, and I won’t watch you waste the life ya got left,” He said gruffly.
She was shaking her head before he could finish his sentence, but he set the bag he was holding down onto the bed and nudged her gently under the chin.
“Yes, Esme. This is whats best for you right now.”
Esmerelda didn't feel like it was what was best for her; she felt like Axel was kicking her out of her home, she felt like he was taking away all she had left of Chris.
“Where will you send me? When you get rid of me?,” She asked bitterly.
Axel sighed heavily and resumed his packing.
“You’re going to stay with Ox and the Seven Deadlies.”
Esmerelda tried to remember anything about the Seven Deadlies that she could…
“You mean the club with the crazy old lady? What was her name? Roxy or something like that?”
Axel smirked as he glanced up at her, a pair of her purple panties in his hand.
“Rayna, and I wouldn't fuck with her if I were you.”
Esme snorted.
“Nothing scares me anymore.”
Axel stopped moving altogether as he glanced at her, his hand now holding the matching bra to her panties.
“Yeah, I know that, too. You’ve proven that to me.”
Esmerelda had nothing to say to that, so she gestured to the lingerie in his hand.
“You want my help, or are you completely comfortable handling my unmentionables?”
Axel looked at the bra dangling from his grip and hurriedly shoved it into the bag he was holding with his other hand.
“Shit, sorry. You gonna fight me on this, or are you gonna do as I say?,” He asked pointedly.
Esmerelda had half a mind to argue, to tell him to fuck off, but she knew that he had her best intentions at heart.
Even if it hurt like hell to say goodbye to the only home she’d ever shared with Chris.
“I don’t want to leave, Axel.”
He nodded his head, his long hair falling into his eyes.
“I know, baby. I don’t want you to go either, but I think you need this.”
Esme didn't know what she needed, so how could Axel?
“Okay,” She finally said.
His head shot up.
“Okay?”
Esme nodded.
“If you think this is best, then I’ll do it.”
Axel’s hands stilled as she took her bag from his grasp.
“What I think, is that you’re wilting here. There’s nothing else I can do for you, and maybe being somewhere new without all the memories will do you some good,” He suggested.
Esmerelda flinched as she packed a pair of jeans.
“These memories are all I’ve got left,” She said, her voice clipped.
Hold it together, Esme.
He isn't trying to punish you.
“Don’t you think I understand that, baby? The reality of it is, you deserve more than I have to offer you. You deserve to find something better than this miserable existence you’re living. Ox can give you that,” Axel said adamantly.
“Really? What does he have that you don’t?”
Axel threw his hands out in frustration.
“He’s a good man, Esmeralda. That’s all you need to know.”
Esmerelda wasn't so sure that he was right.
She wasn’t so sure Axel was wrong, either.
The last six months had been hard, too hard; impossibly hard.
She couldn't seem to let go of Chris’s ghost, and of course she knew that it wasn't healthy. She knew she was being crazy and that she was holding on too tightly, but what did Axel expect? She needed his memory. Esmerelda needed Chris’s memory, because what if she let go, and realized that she really did have nothing?
What if she decided to move on, and she forgot him?
What kind of wife would that make her?
What kind of a person would that make her?
Her fingers traced the edges of a photo taken on their wedding day.
Her long black hair was curled to perfection and tucked behind her ears as she smiled lovingly up at Chris; his chocolate brown eyes were crinkled at the corners as he leaned in to kiss her.
They’d been happy.
Esmerelda knew that all too often the life of an MC could wear a marriage down, could gut it and renew it, could ruin it all in one go.
She hadn't wanted that, and neither had Chris.
He’d been so happy and carefree and Esmerelda loved that about him.
“He wanted me to make sure you were taken care of, Esme. Let me take care of you.”
But, Esmerelda knew that Axel couldn't fix her; not like he wanted to.
Not like he’d promised he would.
No, that duty fell at her own feet, and no matter how hard she fought the change, eventually she would have to move on.
Today wasn't that day though, so she tucked her picture into her bag and looked up at Axel.
“I’m ready whenever you are.”