I sat on the couch in my living room. My laptop sat on my table, and I was waiting. I’d been waiting for the past few minutes, and I was thinking of relocating to somewhere more comfortable. When nothing happened on the screen, I picked up my laptop and moved to the bedroom. I set the device on the bed and exchanged the clothes I’d gone to work in for a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. Then, I sat on the bed and waited.

Still nothing.

I groaned and fell back into my pillows. It had been four weeks since Zach left for Tokyo. I wasn’t proud to say it, but I was starting to become a mess.

Hell, I’d been a mess from the beginning.

With the time difference between New York and Tokyo, we hardly had the time to chat. We sent texts, but we couldn’t do it consistently, so it got annoying. One of us could be awake while the other was sleeping, or was too busy. I’d stayed up one weekend just to talk to him way past my bedtime, but I couldn’t exactly do that on weekdays.

Still, it was growing exhausting for me, mentally more than anything.

But before I could think too much more about it, my computer pinged to let me know I had a new notification. I sat up quickly and pulled it onto my lap, and sure enough, it was the call I’d been waiting for. I settled comfortably back against the pillows and accepted the call.

Then he was there, sitting in bed just like I was, leaning against the headboard with pillows stacked behind him, and a lamp on a nightstand at his side. He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help smiling back. The picture quality wasn’t the best, but at least I got to see him. A mere phone call wouldn’t have been enough for me.

“Hey, there, beautiful,” he murmured.

I giggled as I settled further in my pillows. “You know, that’s going to get old one day, Zach.”

He smirked. “You’re smiling right now, so I’m gonna assume that that day isn’t today.” Then his smirk gentled into a smile. “How’ve you been, Scarlett?”

I chewed on my bottom lip as I considered how to answer. There were plenty of things I could have said. For one, I missed him a lot more than I probably should. We hadn't exactly clarified whatever it was between us, and I never broached it. But then, neither did he. And still, we kept making an effort to keep in close contact. I could only hope that it was a good thing we kept trying to stay in touch.

“Just busy with work,” was what I finally settled on. “Nothing fascinating happening. But tell me some more about you. Have you gone exploring yet?”

He grinned. “Tokyo is wonderful, amazing actually. I haven’t had a lot of time by myself to get around much, but I’ve gone out to eat in some places, restaurants, and everything is… interesting.”

He had a skeptical look on his face when he said that, so I wasn’t sure what it meant. I knew he disliked sushi, but I also knew it was nowhere near the only dish served in Japan. Hearing that he’d gone out to eat, even with a dislike for sushi, made me a little proud of him.

“Why don’t you tell me about where you went?” I suggested.

“Well, I didn’t go by myself. Abigail went with me. I think part of why she got to come with me out of all the possible candidates might be because she knows Japanese. She speaks and reads it a little, so I had her order for me the entire time.”

I went still, my back straightening slightly. “Oh?” I said quietly.

Zach didn’t seem to realize there was something wrong. “Yeah. I swear Abigail is so awesome. When we first came I was just glad there was someone from back home that I knew, but I’m glad she had to be the one I moved to a country halfway across the world with…”

I listened to him go on and on about Abigail. I’d only met the woman for a few minutes, that day at the airport when I went to say goodbye to him. I had nothing against her, if anything I’d thought she was interesting. But this was growing into a reoccurring problem, and I didn’t know how Zach was missing it.

“You and Abigail spend a lot of time together, don’t you?” I muttered when there was a lag in the conversation.

Zach nodded. “Well, yeah. She’s the one person I’m closest to here, after all. Not a lot of people in Tokyo speak English, and I don’t think I have the patience to learn Japanese. I had some luck at the office, there are a few people I can talk to without needing a translation, but Abigail’s always there for when I do.”

I felt my eye twitch a little. I wondered if he knew he was just making things worse, saying what he was.

“I get that you spend time with her because she’s someone familiar, and someone you can easily have conversations with,” I said. “But do you have to talk about her every time we get a chance to talk?”

His eyebrows jumped up. “But I don’t—”

“Uh,” I cut him off, “yes, you do. You just don’t seem to realize it.” I squinted my eyes at him in suspicion. “Are you cheating on me with her? Is that why you can't seem to shut up about her?”

He gaped at me. I could tell he was surprised by what I was saying, as surprised as I was by myself for bringing it up, but I wouldn’t bring back the question.

“Look, Scarlett, I don’t know whatever gave you the idea—”

“And why wouldn’t I think that way?” I cut in. “Look at it from my perspective. You’re on a different continent, spending all your time with this woman, so much that you keep mentioning her in every conversation. Are you sure nothing has happened between the two of you?”

I waited for him to reply to me, my heart beating hard and fast. I hadn't planned to confront him about it, but the truth was, I was growing sick of it. The times we could chat were rare enough as it was. I was excited when I got to talk to him, but he ruined it every time he mentioned that name. Abigail.

When Zach opened his mouth to speak, what he said next shocked me into silence.

“I can't help that I’m spending so much time with her, but what the hell do you mean by cheating, anyway?”

My mouth opened, but I didn’t know what to say. He was frowning at me, looking annoyed, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I couldn’t exactly brush away what I’d just accused him of, though I wished I could. Zach didn’t look in the mood to drop it either, and before I could bring myself to say anything, he continued.

“We were clear about this thing between us, weren’t we? Or I thought we were.”

“W-what—” I choked out.

“I know we had that whole deal with the marriage thing. But… it was stupid, Scarlett. I don’t want to get married, and you wouldn’t want to marry me. I never took it seriously. Don’t tell me you thought I was proposing to you?”

I scowled at him. “I’m not so stupid as to confuse a joke with a proposal,” I said in irritation. “We’re just in it for the sex and a good time, right?”

His eyes were narrowed at me, and I kept my scowl on. “That’s exactly it. We’re both looking to have fun, but no more than that, right? Like we agreed.”

“Right,” I murmured, even as my heart broke at his words.

This is why things wouldn’t have worked out between us. Everything was different now. Things were fine when we were together because I forgot myself. I didn’t let myself think about after, in the moments when we were together. A part of me hated that he had to leave the country when we’d only just started out, but a bigger part of me thought it was for the best. And now, it was clear to see why.

I let myself get too close. He was reminding me how things were between us from the beginning. What, did I think they would change, just because it was me?

I’ve never been someone so special.

Eventually, he’d have tired of me or found someone else he’d rather fuck. He wasn’t under any obligation to stay faithful but if he’d strayed I would have blown up at him. After that, we wouldn’t be able to stay friends. My heart squeezed painfully at the thought of not having Zach in my life.

Maybe it was the best outcome, I thought. Having him completely out of my life…

It hurt, but it would be for the best. Of course, I wasn’t bold enough to come out and speak to him about what I felt. If he reacted this way to just a few accusations, I knew he wouldn’t take well to me saying I’d taken him seriously, to some extent.

“Therefore,” Zach continued, unaware of my internal struggle. “Even if anything were going on between Abigail and me, you can't just go saying I’m cheating on you. Because we’re not officially together in the first place. It’s only cheating if it’s a committed relationship, after all.”

“And you don’t do relationships,” I added quietly. “So it was a stupid assumption for me to make.”

His expression softened just a bit. “Hey, no need to look like that. I swear nothing has happened between Abigail and me.”

It didn’t make me feel any better but I smiled at him anyway. “It’s fine,” I said with a dismissive wave. “Sorry about that. You just talk about her so much all of a sudden…”

He shrugged. “Well, of course. We’re almost always together. We’re both each other’s link to home, after all. And I’ve always been pathetic at learning new languages so she’s useful to have around when I feel like going out to eat. It’s so much more convenient.”

My eyes widened slightly at his wording, before I smiled, more genuinely this time. He used the same words he would describe our relationship, to describe what was between him and Abigail. A part of me was kind of happy about that, though I shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t exactly a charitable thought to my fellow woman. Not that I cared. Thinking of her trying to lure him into her bed…

“Has she ever come on to you?”

Immediately, his attitude soured. But I was sick of burying how I felt because I feared to rock the boat. We weren’t dating after all, so there was nothing to ruin.

“I thought we were dropping this subject?”

“Yeah, well, apparently not,” I muttered. Why was it that I suddenly felt used, when I’d been a willing participant in everything we’d done? “Just answer the question.”

He rolled his eyes, looking like he thought I was ridiculous, and he was only replying to humor me. “If you must know, then no. She’s never made a move on me. She invites herself over all the time, but she never stays the night. We're colleagues and nothing more.”

I pursed my lips. “I call bullshit.”

His eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Tell me you wouldn’t sleep with her if she made a move? And you’re there for several more months, right? Can you honestly tell me nothing would happen in that time?”

He grimaced, his eyes flitting away for a moment. ”I don’t know, Scarlett. I’m single so I probably would.”

I sighed. “I thought so.”

Zach was annoyed again. “The fuck do you sound so disappointed for? I thought we just made things clear—”

“Well, they weren’t clear to me,” I said. “I’m not like you, Zach, I’ve told you this before, haven’t I? I don’t just fuck around, and I don’t like guys that fuck around. Could you at least tell me when you think you’re going to fall into bed with her?” I asked, sounding bitter, even though I’d rather not know.

“As I’ve said, not even a minute ago, there is nothing between you and me, Scarlett. So give it a fucking rest already. I don’t owe you anything.”

Every word he said felt like a jab straight to the chest. Like, what the fuck did he mean there was nothing between us? The sex and our former friendship status meant nothing to him? I was stunned at how brutally he shot me down, but then I was mad.

What the fuck did he mean, he didn’t owe me anything?

I disconnected the call, shut my computer and put it aside before I gave into the temptation to throw it at the wall and imagine it was his face I was aiming for.