I was resting at home when out of nowhere, my phone started ringing. Today of all days, I didn’t want any interruptions, so I wasn’t particularly happy when I picked up my phone to see Sasha’s name on caller ID. I rolled my eyes, knowing what she wanted but answered anyway.

“Hello?”

“Scarlett!”

I winced and pulled the phone slightly away from my ear. I was not in the mood for Sasha’s enthusiasm, though considering what day it was, it was certainly expected.

“Are you busy right now?”

“Not particularly,” I answered reluctantly.

“And how are you feeling today? Do you think you could be up for coming out tonight?”

There it was. “I’m doing fine, but I’m not sure about leaving the apartment...”

“Aww. I wanted to ask you to come out with us, you know, for the usual Christmas tradition. Everyone is going to be at the meet this year, and I didn’t want you to miss out.”

I flinched a little when she said ‘everyone,’ and was glad she couldn’t see my reaction. Olivia had messaged me earlier to warn me. But even with a warning, I wasn’t sure how to take the news. Zach was back, and he’d be going to the Christmas party.

“I wanted to check in and see if you’d be able to stop by. We’d all love to see you before the New Year!”

Not everyone, not the one person I still hadn’t been able to talk to.

But that was hardly my fault. I’d tried to contact him for a few weeks after he’d stopped trying to contact me, and I’d gotten nothing back. Eventually, I’d given up, and I was currently moping about it. If he was going to be at the party, I’d rather not go, but I couldn’t tell Sasha without making her a little suspicious.

“I just want to stay inside this year,” I told her honestly. “I wasn’t planning on leaving my apartment until after New Year’s Eve, maybe.”

Sasha made a disappointed sound. “Well, that’s fine I guess. But if you change your mind, come out and have fun with your friends, all right?”

Even in the middle of my bad mood, I managed a smile for her, though she couldn’t see it.

“I promise I’ll think about it,” I told her, then hung up.

Of course, I had no intention of doing such a thing. But I should have known I wouldn't be let off the hook that easily. A few hours later when the day was moving into early evening, I heard a knock on my door. I sighed, knowing who it was before she let herself in with the key I’d given her some months ago so that she could help me in case of an emergency.

She looked surprised to see me lying back on my couch, and I gave Olivia an unimpressed look.

“Why aren’t you ready, yet? We’re going out, aren’t we?”

I rolled my eyes. “At least greet me properly before making ridiculous assumptions like that, Olivia. And what made you think I’d be going anyway?”

She pursed her lips as she considered me with her dark eyes. “I’m going to have to insist you go to this one, Scarlett.”

“You know why I don’t want to go!”

“Yes. It’s also exactly why you should go.”

I grimaced and didn’t move. What I said to Sasha was just to placate her. Olivia of all people should have known why I didn’t want to go out, so I was confused as to why she was insisting on this. She’d probably come over to my apartment knowing I wouldn’t move on my own and that she’d have to try and convince me.

But there was nothing to say. I already knew it would be a bad idea, so why do it?

“Would you come on already?” she whined. “Going out and having fun for the day would be good for you, Scarlett! It’s Christmas after all. You can’t just spend it on your own. Your parents won’t be able to make it until after New Year’s, right?”

I sat stubbornly on my couch, legs stretched out, arms folded awkwardly under my breasts, but above my building stomach, and looked away from her.

“I don’t want to,” I muttered.

Olivia sighed. I’d never missed the Christmas party before, but I was more than willing to let it go this time. Olivia gave me a disappointed look. “Come on, Scarlett,” she coaxed. “Sasha asked you to come, didn’t she? Are you going to say no to your friends like that?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m saying no to you, and it doesn’t bother me at all.”

“Yeah, well, I know things about you that the others don’t. Can you explain to Sasha why you can’t make it?”

I sniffed and looked away from my friend. “I’m heavily pregnant. Of course, she’d understand.”

When Olivia didn’t come up with something to say, I chanced a look at her, only to flinch at the glare she was giving me.

“I know why you’re reluctant, but these are your friends, Scarlett. At least try to put in an appearance. If you’re not going to tell them everything, then at least try not to make them worry.”

But I couldn’t just show up, say hi to everyone, and leave. Zach would be there. He’d come back for Christmas, his trip only lasting for a few days. I’d been avoiding him, not that he was making any effort to look for me. Every time I thought about it, I felt a white-hot pain shoot through my chest. But I knew better than to give into the feeling.

Seeing him again… I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want to.

But, Olivia had ways of getting me to go. It mostly involved a lot of guilt-tripping, reminding me all our friends would be there and would love to see me because they were worried for me.

“I didn’t realize I was making anybody worry,” I muttered. I hadn't.

“Of course, they are. They’re your friends, Scarlett, and that’s what friends are for, they worry about you when they notice something is up with you.”

I pouted and leveled her with a glare of my own. “I wasn’t fine at the wedding, and no one seemed to notice.”

No one, besides Zach, a traitorous voice in the back of my mind pointed out. I pushed the thought aside.

“Because none of them paid close enough attention. You hid it pretty well—hell, I know you better than anyone and I didn’t notice. I think it’s just harder because you’re a raging ball of hormones now.”

My pout grew more pronounced as I placed my hands on my belly. “You got the ball part right, at least.”

Olivia sighed, then she giggled a little bit. She covered her mouth when I gave her a sideways look.

“All right, sorry for laughing, but you are big, Scarlett.”

I hummed and ran a hand down my stomach. “At least this baby will be coming out of me soon.”

It was the only good news I had to look forward to. I was so over being pregnant, and I was even excited to meet my baby. I’d told my parents only recently, and I’d gotten an earful from both of them for keeping it a secret for so long. But at least my mom had promised to help me out for a while after I left the hospital.

I hadn’t even thought about names yet.

“You know,” Olivia started, sounding thoughtful. “This will probably be the last time we all get to see you before you’re ready to give birth.”

I arched my eyebrows, unsure where she was going with this. “So?”

“So, the moment you have a baby, you’re not going to be able to meet up like before. Sure, we could always come to your house, but babies are fussy little creatures, or so I’ve heard. A lot of first-time mothers rarely come out in the first month, and my mom wouldn't take long trips out of the house for nearly four months.”

I frowned. “It’s not like I’m going to become a hermit, and I won’t slam my door in your faces.”

“Come on, Scarlett. Just come out with me! Everyone’s excited to see you. This is the first child in our group, everyone is really excited about it.”

I pursed my lips. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to go out. I probably should, since my mom told me I couldn’t just sit on the couch or stay in bed all day long just because I was pregnant. Exercise was important, or so she’d said at least.

If it weren't so much for my other fears, I wouldn’t have put up this much of resistance.

“You might as well go and see him, Scarlett,” Olivia said. “You can’t just live in fear that you’re going to see Zach again, Scarlett. What will you do when he comes back permanently?”

She moved closer to me so she could sit on the arm of the seat and wrap her arms around my shoulders.

“I...” I started, but I didn't have anything to say.

No, I didn’t want to let this get to me to the point I gave up on my friends. Zach was supposed to be a one night stand, probably one I’d regret. If it hadn’t been for his personality, I would have. Only now, he was so much more than that, and I was letting it get to me. I’d been worried about what would happen after we slept together, considering we were friends, because of this very reason. I was pretty used to backing off when my boyfriends broke up with me and letting others have their way.

But Zach hadn’t broken up with me. He wasn’t with me to begin with.

So why was I lying down in defeat? I needed to get over him, to get over what happened between us, if I was going to have any peace of mind. So what if he happened to be at the party? It would be a good thing. He and I would finally have the talk we should have had the moment I realized I was pregnant.

I might as well get it over with, I decided. I couldn’t run from him for forever after all.

Finally, I sighed. I patted Olivia’s arm until she let go of me, and pulled away far enough so I could give her a smile. I knew it was anything but enthusiastic, but I tried.

“Just let me shower and get changed first, all right?”

She brightened up and moved away from the arm of the couch, putting her arm back around my shoulders to help me up.

“Sure. I came early, so we still have some time until the party.”

My smile turned grateful as I leaned on her to get to my feet. “You thought this through, didn’t you?”

She smiled softly at me. “I just wanted you to realize a few things on your own. Like how you can’t suddenly decide to live in a cage just because Zach decided to come back for Christmas. He’ll probably be moving back soon, you know.”

“And I’m just going to have to deal with his constant presence,” I muttered.

Her smile turned sympathetic.

She dropped me off at my bedroom, then went back to wait in the living room for me. I took a shower, then went back to my bedroom to look for something to wear. It took me a while because I wasn’t sure just what to choose. Not that I had a lot to choose from, but I wanted to try and be festive, and I didn’t want to freeze to death. Dressing up sexy was out of the question with my stomach, though I was tempted to.

Finally, I settled on a red dress, one that flattered my appearance best. I added a jacket on top and pulled on a pair of flats on my feet. I decided to forgo the jewelry. If I had my way, I wouldn’t be there for long. I picked a purse with a thin strap and put my phone and some money and other accessories inside.

I walked out of my bedroom to find Olivia pacing in my living room. When she noticed I was in the room, she looked up. Her eyes grew wide, then she was grinning at me, and she glowed.

“You look so beautiful, Scarlett.”

I sighed. “There’s no need to flatter me, Olivia. I know what I look like.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” she scolded. “You look lovely. Now, come on. The restaurant is a bit of a way off, and we’re going to have to deal with the traffic as it is.”

I let her help me out of the apartment and down to the streets. I stood aside as she hailed a taxi. It took a while, then she was leading me inside, and we were going. She’d been right about traffic, and I grumbled a bit to myself since I knew it was partly my fault. If I hadn't held us up, we might not have been stuck in it. But we eventually made it to where the group was meeting up. Olivia paid for the ride, ignoring my protests, and hustled me out of the car.

It was the same place where I’d met everyone for lunch several months back. The place was packed, I could see through the huge windows from inside, but Olivia just led me confidently inside. The place was usually more disorganized around this time of the year, so it wasn't even a surprise to get in and see the crush of people.

We waved to people we’d met there before as we walked through, looking around for our friends. Pretty much every table drew a large crowd, so picking them out wasn’t as easy as it usually would have been.

“Oh, Scarlett! There you are!”

I looked up at the enthusiastic voice, smiling when I saw Sasha rushing over to us. She was a little smaller than the people she elbowed out of her way to get to us, grinning.

“Hey, Sasha,” I said. “Merry Christmas.”

When she was close enough, she pulled me into a hug, mindful of my stomach, then did the same for Olivia.

“Merry Christmas to both of you, too! I almost thought you weren’t gonna make it.”

Olivia and I shared a look, though I had a feeling mine looked guiltier.

“Well, come on,” Sasha said with enthusiasm. “Everybody is already waiting for you guys!”

The ‘everybody’ part made me freeze again. Even as she tried to tug me forward, I didn’t move.

“Is Zach here?” I asked, almost fearful.

It was entirely expected when she nodded her head, considering I’d heard from Olivia he’d be there even before she came to pick me up. And yet, my stomach still twisted uncomfortably just thinking about it. We were still by the door, and I knew if I moved into where the rest of the gang sat, I would be able to spot him. And he would see me.

I was tempted to run away, but Olivia was at my back and oblivious Sasha was at my front. I didn’t want to give her reasons to suspect I was holding back information from them. After Chad had asked who the father was in front of my friends and I’d come up with some bullshit lie, no one else had asked.

“He came here with someone,” Sasha said, taking my arm to lead me, probably thinking I just needed help getting around. “I think she’s the one they sent him off to Tokyo with.”

Immediately, I felt my blood freeze. “What’s her name?” I asked, even though I knew. There was only the one person, after all.

“I think her name was Abigail,” Sasha said slowly, then nodded. “I’m pretty sure, yeah.” Then she grinned, her suddenly happy expression filling me with dread. “And you’re never going to guess. We were all really surprised, you know? Because this is Zach we’re talking about. No one expected it.”

“What happened?” Olivia asked for me because I suddenly found my throat feeling very dry.

“He introduced Abigail to us and said she was his girlfriend!” Sasha exclaimed, not realizing the devastating effect her words had on me. “Isn’t that just amazing? He never tells us the women he comes with are his girlfriends, we just assume. But he’s going around introducing her as his girlfriend.”

Something in my chest clenched painfully, and my whole body trembled. I felt a comforting touch on my shoulder and shot Olivia a grateful look, but it would hardly be enough for me this time. Not with this.

Still, I moved unerringly forward.

The sight that met us was expected, but it still rooted my feet to the floor. Zach was there, and my heart gave a weak thump because it had been so long since I’d seen him. He was still a distance away, but there were no people between us, so I had a clear view.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Sasha said with a squeal in her voice. “Of course, this is Zach, and almost all his dates are beautiful. But he doesn’t usually stand so close to them, or let them join in the group as much as Abigail is.”

Sasha was right, and it only made my heart break even more. Abigail looked just as I remembered, only she had a nice, dark blue evening dress on instead of the skirt suit I’d seen her in before. She stood right against Zach’s side, and he had an arm around her as they chatted and laughed with some of our friends.

Seeing them this close, in a position I was pretty sure Zach wouldn't have had me in, made it all so much more real for me.

“Scarlett? What’s wrong?”

I blinked and looked down at Sasha, who had moved to stand in front of me, staring up at me with confusion. Probably wondering why I was just standing there staring stupidly ahead.

“Scarlett,” Olivia’s voice came from beside me.

I moved my gaze to meet hers, and the sympathy in there was the breaking point for me. I stumbled back, shaking off both of their hands. I wasn't in the mood to be comforted.

Leaving home was a mistake, I decided, before turning and rushing from the room.