PROLOGUE

FOUR MONTHS AGO

 

Someone, somewhere, is always looking for something more in life.

They don’t want some cheap hook-up in a bar. They don’t want to have some meaningless encounter. And for others, like me, they don’t want to be the girl who lost their virginity whilst still at school, still learning how to survive in the world we live.

I’m the girl who wanted more.

I’m the girl that knew love didn’t bring instant happiness. It was the people you surrounded yourself with, the situations you put yourself in, and the happiness you felt within that defined your contentment.

I’ve experienced happiness every day of my life.

But ever since I was a little girl, I’d had a dream I’d believed, treasured and worshipped. I’d wanted to find my Prince Charming. Someone who would love me irrevocably, who was my other half. The one. And I wouldn’t settle for anything less.

Now, however, at the age of twenty-five, I’ve given up on that dream. The wait had become depressing.

Maybe I’d set my hopes too high, my dreams too big.

You see, I have some very inspirational men in my life, and I want the best of all of them in my other half.

When I found a man, he would be as protective as my dad.

Loyal as my uncle Mason.

Strong like my uncle Malik.

Kind as my uncle Myles.

And make me laugh harder than my uncle Max.

But in the world we live, those traits just don’t exist within one man. No one is that lucky.

My perfect man isn’t out there.

I’m a hopeless romantic, though, so deep down, I do keep believing, which is why I’d let my best friend and co-worker talk me into a dating site called One Love. If there’s any chance of me finding my perfect man, I guess it’s not the worst place to start.

We’d had some prospects to look over, but the more I spoke to them, the more I found them all lacking in something. It could be the fact that we were all hiding behind a screen. Just how much could you get to know someone online? Words just weren’t enough. You needed to see facial expressions, possible triggers, annoying habits and so on.

Let’s face it, you aren’t going to admit to someone you chew with your mouth open and snore louder than a fog horn, or tell them you hate strong women. No, you have to experience that stuff and, well, tonight was the time for me to do that.

The man I’m going to meet is called Noah Anderson, a bank manager from a town an hour away. He likes animals, has a German Shepard, and loves travelling when he has time off work.

It was the German Shepard that had persuaded me to agree with my best friend Nina and go out on this date.

I was still having second thoughts about meeting him though. Still ready to give up completely. He could be a real creeper, you just never know nowadays.

Roxy, my own German Shepard, who I’d taken in when she was a puppy after being left in a shoe box at the vets I own, is why Noah had been picked out of the top five we chose. Roxy’s my pride and joy, and anyone else who freely shares their love for animals is good in my eyes.

My thoughts drift to my outfit, wondering if it’s suitable for a first date and not too sexy.

I’m wearing a LBD, the material fitting snug to my body, with a split up my right leg and a dip between my breasts, showing off more cleavage than I’ve ever shown in my life. It actually makes my pale complexion glow a little.

Nina had brought over some accessories, so I’m wearing a diamond necklace that dips between my breasts, instantly drawing your gaze there, with matching earrings and bracelet. Even my bag―which took me a decade to find in my closet―was sparkling like diamonds. And thanks to my sister Lily, who has a thing for shoes she doesn’t even wear, I managed to get some black, tied around the ankle, stilettos that have a glittering heel. 

I’ve kept my hair simple, not wanting to overdo it since I have so much of it. So, I’d put my waist-length auburn hair in a fishtail, letting it fall to one side and down my shoulder.

“You look hot, babe. Seriously, I bet half the men tonight will be picturing you naked.”

I look at Nina through the mirror and laugh, shaking my head at her dramatics. One thing’s for sure: you can’t be self-conscious around Nina; she’d knock that shit out of you.

Literally.

“Are you sure this isn’t too much?”

Waving a hand at me, she walks over, before moving my boobs―can you believe it―to give more cleavage. Like they weren’t already out there. I slap her hands, moving them back and giving her a glare.

I’m already nervous as hell, I don’t need her to make things worse. I’m debating if it’s too late to bail, but I know she won’t let me. Plus, what can one date hurt?

“All right, but if I had them, I’d totally have them D’s on display. He’s taking you to that fancy Italian restaurant, isn’t he?” I nod, even though she knows exactly where we’re going because she’ll be there too. “Then, no, it’s not too much. Have you seen what some of those bitches wear?”

“If you’re sure. I’m still pissed they couldn’t get you a table. Are you sure you’ll be okay across the street?”

Because of the demand, they don’t give tables to singles on busy nights. Being that it’s a Saturday, Nina had no chance of getting one. We even tried to get her someone to go with, so she could watch out for me, but when the time came to make the booking, there were no tables available.

So, across the street at The Duck Inn she’ll wait, until I either give her the call or the text to meet me out front, so we can ride home together. Only because I didn’t want him driving me home and knowing where I lived if things went wrong. This was our first time meeting face-to-face, after all. We’d been talking for nearly a month before I’d agreed to meet him for a date. Even as unsure as I’d been, Nina talked me into it, saying I needed to get out there.

“Yes, Laurie said she’ll meet me for a few.”

Laurie was Nina’s cousin, and like her, was all blonde and long-legged. Both were model gorgeous.

Making sure I have everything I need, I grab my jacket and umbrella before leaving my flat.

My flat is situated above a hairdresser’s. It was the only space I’d been able to find within my budget after opening the vets with Susan. But it works for me. It has an open-plan kitchen/living room. The only doors lead to the two bedrooms and bathroom. It’s cosy. And the landlords let me keep Roxy—after I agreed to put down a pet deposit.

It may not look like much, but to me, it was everything.

“Come on, girl. Let’s go meet Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome.

 

*** *** ***

 

Even with an umbrella I managed to get wet. My shoes feel squishy as I walk into the famous Italian restaurant.

I haven’t even met Noah yet and already this is becoming a disaster. I feel miserable.

“Welcome to Rosa’s. May I take your name?”

My gaze drifts to the older gentlemen. He’s wearing an expensive-looking three-piece suit, his heavy stomach on show, and a red tie. A black, thick moustache covers his entire upper lip, and his eyebrows meet above his long nose.

And currently, I can’t tell if he is frowning at me or eyeing me up. There just aren’t any facial expressions.

Yeah, this date isn’t going to plan.

“I’m Faith Carter. I have a table booked under the name Anderson?”

He lifts his nose at me before grunting from the back of his throat and looks down at his tablet, his eyes running across the screen.

“If you could just take a seat in the bar area, a waitress will call you when your table is ready.”

I don’t get a chance to reply because he looks behind me, smiling to greet the next customer. A flutter of panic tightens my stomach as I wonder if Noah is already here. The host didn’t say.

We’d agreed to meet here at half-eight and that the table would be booked under the name Anderson.

I didn’t factor in the bar.

With wet, squishy feet, I move over to the bar area as directed, smiling happily when I see a large fire roaring in the exquisite fireplace, sparks snapping playfully from the burning wood. Two vacant, elegant, leather sofas face each other in front of it.

I eagerly make my way over, my shoes squelching with every step, not even bothering to look for Noah. My goal in life, at this moment, is to get my feet warm and my sister’s shoes dry, so she doesn’t kill me.

Sue me.

As soon as I sit down, I slyly slip off my heels, making sure they’re facing the flames.

Since I have nothing to do, and not seeing Noah anywhere, I take out my phone and check for any messages on the website we met on. There are none.

ME: He’s not here. What do I do?

NINA: Has he texted you? Maybe the weather has slowed him down? There is quite a bit of traffic.

ME: We can only talk through the app. I didn’t give him my number. And no, he didn’t message me. My feet are wet.☹

NINA: Lily is so going to kill you if you’ve wrecked them shoes.

ME: Thanks for your support.

NINA: You love me.

And I did—love her. Even though I’m the oldest sibling in my family, you’d think I was the baby. I was grateful to have Nina in my life, who just treated me as a friend.

I have two younger brothers and a younger sister. Along with them, I have six male cousins, five uncles, and a dad. Doesn’t matter that I have five aunties, a mum, and five kickass female cousins. They all have a part of my heart, but sometimes it’s frustrating to be treated like the baby when I’m not. Nina doesn’t do that with me. It’s why I haven’t told anyone about coming out on my date tonight.

That said, they can all be a little overwhelming, especially at family gatherings. We are all tight—more like brothers and sisters—but there’s a time in a girl’s life when she wants something for herself.

Insert Nina at the age of eleven. We had just started high school—both coming from different primary schools—and met during our lunch break…

“Holy Moses, is that your lunch balance?” Nina had asked, all blonde-haired and blue-eyed.

I’d instantly been drawn to her, been somewhat quiet and a bit of a daydreamer. I’d been reading since I was old enough to pick up a book. Fairy tales were my favourite, and the minute I’d laid eyes on Nina, she’d reminded me of a Disney Princess.

“My mum was worried I was going to miss out on something.” I shrug, feeling shy. My mum had deposited one-fifty into my lunch account for the school term.

“I got, like, ten pounds. Want to be friends?”

And from there, we were friends. Always laughing at how ridiculous my mum could be. But she was the best mum in the world, so I never judged her over-protective or nurturing behaviour. I revelled in it.

“Anderson, table for two?” a brunette waitress calls, bringing me out of a fond memory.

I put my hand up to show her I heard her, before slipping my shoes back on. I follow behind her at a slower pace, my shoes feeling worse than they did before. When the empty table comes into view, my heart sinks a little more. I’m enduring all of this and he isn’t even here.

He’s ten minutes late.

I’m about to place my clutch down on the table when I’m suddenly knocked off course. I stumble into the chair and drop my bag and its contents all over the floor.

“Shoot!” I squeak out, righting myself before I fall and make a bigger tit out of myself. I’m embarrassed and immediately drop to the floor, my poor dress stretching to its limits.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you.”

My head snaps up to the deep, masculine voice, startled when dark brown eyes stare back at me, almost black and void of emotion. If it wasn’t for the fact he sounded sorry, I wouldn’t have believed him.

“It’s okay.”

I try to keep one eye on him as he bends down to help me pick up my bag and everything that has rolled across the floor.

“It’s not. I’m sorry. Can I get you a drink as an apology?” he asks as we rise.

Flustered, and somewhat flattered, I shake my head. “I’m meeting with a friend, but thank you.”

He smiles, finally showing some kind of facial expression, and I relax. “Shame. Well, sorry again for… well, knocking you over. Enjoy your date.”

It isn’t until he walks out the door that I realise he’d said ‘date’, when I had told him I was meeting a friend.

It seems odd he would say it, but after looking around once again for any signs of Noah, he’s forgotten. I just want this date to be over with now and to go home.

I shouldn’t have agreed to come, especially when I had been wanting to cancel all day. I’ve had a uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach since I woke up, and it still hasn’t gone. I’d thought it was just down to the nerves of going on a date. One I hadn’t told my family about because I knew they wouldn’t be pleased.

 

*** *** ***

 

Another forty-five minutes have passed. I can feel the heat of embarrassment on my face from being stood up.  

Not only is it embarrassing, but I feel so ashamed, like I’m not good enough. There might be a simple explanation, I’m sure, but I’m done with it. I might be picky when it comes to men, but I’ve never led one on, or stood one up. Not that there have been many dates in the past.

Customers have been eyeing me with pitiful looks. A girl all dressed up and no one to tell her she looks beautiful. I’m tired of waiting.

The same waitress who has popped over to my table continuously to see when I was expecting company or if I wanted anything, walks over again. This time she has a sheepish expression, like she’s about to tell me something I’m not going to like.

She doesn’t even open her mouth before I know what’s coming, and I don’t blame her. I just hate the look she is giving me. I don’t want her pity or for her to feel sorry for me.

 “I’m sorry, Miss, but we’re going to have to ask you to leave. We have paying customers who are waiting for a table.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go.”

Fumbling with my purse, I get up from the table before grabbing my jacket and umbrella. And to make matters worse, I trip over the leg of my chair, knocking into the couple seated behind me.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” I turn back to the waitress and wave my hand at her when she tries to help me.

On shaky legs, I stand up straight and square my shoulders, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

I’ve been stood up.

Completely, utterly and embarrassingly, stood up.

What a complete fucking jerk.

When I get home, I’m so going to send him an email to end all emails. I’m going to give him what for and make him regret ever standing me up.

Quickly sending off a message to Nina to meet me outside, I put my phone back in my purse and make my way outside.

She’s already in the smoking area when I step out. Her head is bent over her phone. She raises it when she’s finished reading and gives me a questioning look.

I walk over, glad Laurie isn’t with her. There’s only so much humiliation a girl can take—being a virgin at twenty-five staying at the top for a long as I live. People don’t understand why I choose to keep it that way and explaining it does nothing to enlighten them. They just think I’m a naïve girl with her head in a fairy-tale. I’m not. I just don’t want to give the one thing I can never get back to someone I’ll never truly love.

The next item on the humiliation list is being a rare virgin and having to find a man on a dating website, only to then get stood up. That’s totally up there on every woman’s top ten embarrassing things.

“That was quick. What’s wrong?” Her voice is full of concern when she gets a good look at me.

“He didn’t bother to turn up. I kept getting pitying stares from the waitresses, and then to make things worse, I was asked to leave, then tripped and fell on a couple behind me. I just want to go home, get into bed, and forget about this fudging night altogether.”

Anger sparks behind her eyes. She nods her head with determination, and I know she’s searching for a way to fix this. She’s always been that way; always there for me no matter what.

“Then we will. Let me grab a bottle of wine or two and we can make a night of it. Did you at least eat?”

That’s another thing that pissed me off. I’ve been wanting to eat at Rosa’s for years. I’d waited to go because I wanted the experience to be romantic, not family related. Not that they would let my cousins in. All the males in my family eat like every meal will be their last. And they can be loud and downright disturbing sometimes.

“No,” I whine, throwing my hands up in a fit. “It sucks. I should have just texted you to come over but I didn’t want to make a bigger scene. Go grab a bottle… actually three. I’ll order a Chinese now and by the time we get back, it should be there.”

“Good on ya, girl. Then we can email the fucker and tell him he has little balls and wasn’t worth it anyway.”

I laugh, loving my bestie to pieces. Besides my family, she is the only person in the world I’ve become close with. Not even Susan, my business partner, knows much about me. We’re friends and go out from time to time, but we mostly keep it professional.

 

*** *** ***

 

By the time we get back, I’m ready to put on some pyjamas, get into bed and watch a horror movie with plenty of gore and blood. Romance is not going to be watched for a while in my house. And the people who truly knew me would understand what a rarity that is. I’m a sappy, hopeless romantic.

Romance novels.

Romance movies.

Romance TV shows.

I loved them all.

That stuff, apart from animals, who were my kindred spirit, were my all-time favourite things in the world.

Oh, and cooking.

I loved baking.

Heading up the stairs, I grab my bag and rummage for my keys.

“Shit, where are they,” I grumble, wondering how they could get lost in such a small bag.

“Um, Faith… you won’t be needing your keys.”

The wariness in her voice has me looking up. I see her frightened eyes on my door. Dread fills my stomach and I turn, finding the door to my flat open a notch.

“Oh, no,” I gasp, looking around the hallway for any other signs of intruders, but there are none. The flat across from mine is currently empty, and its door is perfectly in place.

“I’m gonna call the police.”

“What if he’s still in there?” I whisper-hiss at her. My eyes drift back to the door again, finding no forced entry, and the tension in my shoulders loosens. “Relax, it’s one of my cousins. They have a key. They’re probably raiding my fridge.”

Nina relaxes, shaking her head and smiling. “One day, we need to get those fuckers back for always scaring us. Remember the time Maddox—Oh, my god.”

“No!” I gasp, looking around my near-empty flat and trashed belongings.

Pictures upon pictures I’d hung with pride on every inch of my walls were now torn down, smashed on the carpeted floor.

My sofa has been flipped over, but even from this angle I can tell it’s been slashed open, the brown suede completely shredded, no longer useable.

My TV is gone. My Xbox One, my Wii, my DVD player, all of my boxsets, and pretty much anything of value is missing.

My knees threaten to give out, but Roxy’s barking has me running to her, pinpointing her in the bathroom. I open the door and let her out, dropping to the floor to pull her into my arms. They locked her in there. They locked my poor baby in the toilet. I run my fingers over her, looking for any signs of injury, but feel none. I sag with relief, not knowing what I would have done if they’d hurt her.

“Poor baby. It’s okay, it’s okay,” I coo, cuddling her close and letting her lick the tears from my face. She leaves me, sniffing around the room in array, seemingly unperturbed by what’s happened.

The mess is still as startling as the first time I saw it. Then my eyes widen.

“What—what is it?” Nina asks, her phone to her ear.

I’m not sure whether she’s talking to me or to whoever she’s on the phone to, but I ignore her and run to my bedroom. I push through the door, stepping over torn clothes and broken pictures and make my way over to my dressing table. All my costume jewellery is there, and I carelessly throw it to the side as I search for the necklace my dad gave me the day he adopted me.

It’s gone.

A pained scream leaves my throat and tears fall down my cheeks as I fall haplessly to the floor. Everything in the flat is replaceable with time. I can get more pictures from Facebook, or from my family. I can buy new furniture and clothes. Hell, I can even replace the presents bought for me and the books that I’d noticed were shredded and all over the place.

But the necklace… It’s irreplaceable. My dad could get another one made as my uncle Malik designed it, but it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t hold the same sentiment. It held high significance to me—meant everything to me. It was symbolic of a beginning for me, for the start of our family.

It was a heart pendant with a crown on top, and it had mine, my mum’s, and my dad’s initials carved into the back. When you opened it, it had a picture of me, Mum and Dad on the right, and on the left it read, Family is a gift, and you’re mine.

It was the day Maverick Carter became more than my mum’s boyfriend.

More than our landlord.

More than my friend.

He became everything to me on the day he gave me that necklace.

He became more than just a father, a protector, and loved one.

He became my hope.

“No!” I wail, feeling my world crumble around me.

Why would someone do this?

Who would do this?

It doesn’t make sense.

My phone chimes in my hand, and I’m prepared to ignore it, but when I see my bank’s name flash across the screen, warning bells start ringing in my head.

I don’t bother reading the message, already having a gut-feeling of what it will say. Instead, I access my account and feel my heart sink further.

My entire savings are gone.

All gone.

“Faith?” Nina croaks out.

I look to my best friend, hoping, somehow, this is all some joke, but the sorrow in her expression is enough to confirm this is real. This isn’t my cousins coming in and turning my furniture and pictures upside down and telling me I have a ghost. This is real. “It’s all gone,” I whisper, feeling so lost and alone that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to recover.

And one thing is clear as I empty my bag out in front of me, finding my cards, keys and ID missing.

This was planned.

This was Noah.

And he’s going to pay for it. One way or another.