I ignore the first knock on the door. Honestly, I don’t even do it consciously; I’m just so engrossed in what I’m reading.

The knocking begins again, and this time I blink.

I push the laptop off my stomach, and haul myself to my feet. I let out a little sigh as I roll the kinks from my shoulders. I don’t know how much time I’ve spent hunched over that damn machine, but it feels like too long.

My neck screams at me to do a couple of stretches, once in a while. I walk to the door, and put my eye against the peephole, expecting to see the concierge, or maintenance person.

It’s neither.

I flatten my back against the door, and cover my mouth with my hand. It’s Nate! He looks unbelievably good, with that tousled blond hair of his firing off at every angle. Not many guys can pull the scruffy look off like he can…

He rocks it.

“I know you’re there, Kim,” Nate laughs.

Oh shoot, oh shoot.

“How?” I finally call back.

“The door moved. Then I heard a thud. You’re not as stealthy as you think.”

“Remind me to never join the Army, then,” I reply.

“You’re too pretty for the Army,” he replies. It’s such a corny line I’m tempted to laugh. I kind of like it. Nate’s the only guy who’s ever complemented me and made me feel sexy, instead of just a piece of meat.

Mind you, it’s a short list.

“What are you doing here?” I ask while my mind races. He can’t be here. Not like this, not right now. I’m dressed in oversized sweatpants, and my hair’s messy and huge.

“Open the door, and I’ll tell you.”

I shake my head from side to side against the door. My toes scrunch up inside my woolen socks. I know what happens if I open that door. I know that I’m not ready for what happens.

But I do it anyway. “Don’t laugh,” I call, turning around.

“I wouldn’t dare…” Nate replies with his voice as low as a trombone.

He’s as good as his word. When I open the door, he’s resting against the doorframe, one arm behind his back. I know what I look like – a mess, but Nate doesn’t even crack a smile.

“What are you doing?” Nate asks. “Have you got time for your favorite neighbor?”

“Studying,” I say. “I’m busy.”

Nate reaches up with his free hand and caresses my cheek. He’s so relaxed about it. I want to melt into him right then and there. But I stand strong. “You’re not coming in,” I say.

Nate pulls a horrified face. “What if I promise I won’t have sex with you? Will that get me in the door?”

My cheeks blossom with embarrassment. I don’t understand how he can talk about sex so easily. I feel like a giggling school girl whenever he brings it up. To Nate, it’s like he grew up on it.

He holds out his pinky finger. “I, Nathaniel Foster,” he says, grinning, “do solemnly swear that no matter how unbelievably gorgeous I find Kimberly Sawyers, even when she wears Minnie Mouse PJ’s or thrift shop sweatpants, that I won’t try and sleep with her…”

Nate waggles his pinky. “Do we have a deal?”

As he moves, I hear a clink of glass coming from behind him. “What’s that?” I ask, my eyes narrowing.

He pushes himself away from the doorframe, and produces a bottle of wine and two large wineglasses held stem-up in his other hand. “I come bearing gifts…”

I look at the wine longingly. I can feel my defenses starting to unravel: already. “It has been a long day…”

“So,” Nate smiles, “it’s agreed then. You’re mine for the evening.”

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” I say. Even I can hear how little conviction there is in my voice. “You understand that, right? I’m not joking.”

“So you keep saying…” Nate replies.

“If you try anything…”

Nate holds his pinky out again, his gray eyes twinkling with mirth. “A promise is a promise,” he growls. “But I’ll need yours first.”

I reach out my pinky grudgingly. I don’t believe for a second that Nate will stay true to his word. I can feel the desire burning in his eyes. His finger envelops mine, and I jump at the contact. It’s electric, like he’s not just caressing my hand, but my soul. I swallow hard. I’m already beginning to wonder whether this is a good idea.

Nate pushes past me before I have a chance to think twice. I get the feeling he’s done this before. “So what are you studying, clever clogs?” He asks.

Weirdly, he goes straight for the window, staring out into the darkness. I watch his eyes flicker back and forth in the reflection. It’s like he’s searching for something.

“What are you doing?” I ask, pulling the door closed behind me. It shuts with a click. Suddenly, we are alone together. The thought adds an electric charge to the room. I’m conscious of every breath, and every slight movement.

“Just checking out the view,” Nate replies haltingly, turning back to face me. His eyes go on a long, meandering journey from my toes to my face, lingering for the longest time on my chest. I feel my heart beat faster. When Boris does it –.

This is no time to think about Boris.

“So what are you studying?” Nate asks, licking his lips. I find myself copying him.

“Programming stuff,” I reply. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” he replies, settling back onto the couch, and setting the wineglasses down on the coffee table.

I point at the laptop, and Nate glances at it. “I’ve been going over some subroutines. Some of the things that Boris keeps asking me to do – they don’t make sense.”

I notice interest flaring in Nate’s eyes. It’s kind of nice. No one’s ever been that interested in what I do before. Honestly – I’ll be the first to admit it – I’m a computer programmer. It’s just not that exciting to most people.

“Sounds like you don’t like Boris,” Nate replies. His voice is low and throaty. It even sounds seductive. I start to wonder what that voice would sound like if he was whispering things into my ear: dirty things. I flush.

“I don’t,” I agree. My voice comes out as a squeak. I sit down on the couch next to Nate – but a foot away from him. I feel all kinds of awkward.

The wine splashes into the glass as Nate pours, and hands me the first. I take a big sip. I need some courage in me right now, whatever the source. I just wish it wasn’t the kind that encourages me to make bad decisions…

“Thirsty?” Nate grins, that twinkle in his eye. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me, I can sense it. There’s a heat building inside my legs, and I keep them apart on purpose; I don’t need to add anything to stoke the fire. Nate is enough of a spark as it is.

I glance at him; then I look away. Am I looking at him too much? I start to analyze everything I’m doing. Am I sitting up to straight? Should I change?

Nate notices. He moves his hand onto my thigh, and squeezes it. The contact sends an electric shock crackling through my body. It is so unexpected; I do all I can to stop myself from jumping half a foot in the air.

“Chill,” he whispers. “Has anyone ever told you that you need to relax?”

I nod. I’m not sure I trust my voice right now.

Especially since Nate’s hand is still on my thigh. It feels like a pool of lava is forming there, and flowing down, and up, and everywhere. Nate’s unleashing a torrent of desire inside me, and it’s pooling in my core.

I realize with shock that I actually want this to happen. For the first time in my life, I want to sleep with a man.

Not just any man.

I want to sleep with Nate.

But I’m scared.

We haven’t even kissed.

The biggest problem, though, is I haven’t told him my secret.

I take another gulp of wine, and stare into the glass. The heat spreading in my stomach gives me the strength I need to speak.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“Doing what?” Nate growls – and it is a growl.

I shoot him a knowing look. “You know: pursuing me; being nice to me; being kind to me. It doesn’t make sense. You’re, well – you. And I’m… me.”

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, and as I do a shadow flashes across his face. I wonder what it means. He almost looks…

…Guilty?

“Why do you think about yourself like that?” Nate whispers. I have to lean in to hear him, and I get hit with another shock of longing when our shoulders touch.

Again, I’m hyperaware of everything: my every movement, and Nate’s. Should I pull back? Will Nate think too much of it? I wish I could just copy him – his easy movement, his…

…Everything.

“I don’t want to be just another notch, you know?” I say. “It might not mean anything to you, but it’s different for me.”

“What is?” Nate asks.

I have to close my eyes to even say it, with him sitting so close. “Sex.”

I know where this is leading. I know that if he starts undressing me right now, I’ll go along with it, no matter what I said before. I press my legs together, and my pussy sparks with heat. I’m soaked. No matter how hard I try to push back on my desire: it’s impossible. I lean into Nate’s powerful, muscular body.

Nate doesn’t say a word, not for a long time. I start to get nervous that he’s about to mock me, but he doesn’t.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, Kim,” he growls. “Sex isn’t some demon to be scared of, at least … it isn’t to me. It can be beautiful, magical even. You don’t know someone until you’ve seen them naked, until you’ve seen them at their most intimate.”

“It’s not just physical, Kim,” he says, stroking my cheek. I dare not move, or speak. I’m completely under his spell.

“You say stop, I stop. You say go, I go,” he whispers, his lips now grazing my ear, “you say slower, I slow, and,” his voice lowers, deepens, throbs, “if you say faster…”

Nate tails off. My mouth is dry. Every place where we touch each other, feels like sparks are bursting into life.

“Yes…” I whisper.

“Yes what?” Nate growls. “Tell me what you want, Kim.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but lust is overtaking me. I feel like I’m caught in a fast-flowing river, and I don’t care that I’m being dragged along by the current. Not when it feels this good.

“Yes,” I whisper. I want you.”

Nate’s face moves, and suddenly his lips attach to mine. It’s not what I expected. I thought he would go in hard, press his lips against my mouth, probe with his tongue.

But he does none of that.

Nate is gentle, and delicate. His lips pepper mine with kisses, and his hand moves up from my thigh, where it’s been burning all this time, and leaves a trail of fire all the way up my side as he strokes me.

I don’t move. I’m stuck. Every nerve ending, everywhere he touches me, is exploding. It’s delightful, it’s perfect.

Nate takes my lower lip in his, and caresses it with his tongue. I moan into him. He pushes me back against the couch, and my stomach does backflips as I fall. But it’s not nerves; it’s excitement. It’s anticipation. I’m not nervous anymore, not about anything he’ll do to me. I trust him. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but I do.

It’s everything about him: the way he asks, and the way he takes. It’s the way he speaks exactly what’s on his mind, and his gentle touch.

It’s his smell. I don’t know what it is, but it makes me feel safe. I realize now that whenever I see him, whenever I enter his bubble, I smile. I feel comfortable, comforted, and protected.

I let out a little moan, and my head falls back. Nate layers my open neck with kisses. They feel like little meteorites landing in a ball of flames. Wherever his lips land, my skin explodes in fire.

“What do you want?” Nate growls, his mouth pressed against my breastbone. His deep, low, hungry voice vibrates through my chest.

“You…” I whisper again.

“No,” he says, his throat hoarse with desire. “Tell me what you want me to do to you… Exactly.”

I squeeze my eyelids shut tight. I know what I want. I can’t deny it any longer. I can’t deny myself any longer. I’m only human and Nate … Well, he’s gorgeous. But I’m filled with embarrassment even thinking about my desire, let alone admitting it.

Nate scrapes his fingernails down my torso. I let out a moan. He lifts my shirt hem and kisses my stomach, and my pussy throbs with heat.

“I want,” I whisper, “I want you to…”

Nate’s fingers dance around the waistband of my sweatpants. I can’t bear it any longer. His touch feels like fire. He’s so close to my core it burns.

To fuck me, I think. It sounds so coarse inside my head. I can’t bring myself to say it. But I need to.

“… To make love to me,” I groan, as Nate’s fingertips scrape against the skin at my waist.

It’s like I fired a starting pistol.

“That’s all I wanted,” Nate whispers from somewhere down by my belly button. I feel the heat of his finger dipping under the elastic, his thumb prying open the knotted cord. I hear a whoosh as he pulls the cotton sweatpants loose, and all the air escapes my lungs as he pulls them off my body in one long, smooth motion.

My legs are bare. My legs are bare, and Nate Foster has his head between them. Oh my God.

I can’t even think. Nate drags his lips across my belly, and down, low. His mouth grazes my underwear, and I close my eyes even tighter.

Oh God! I’m wearing granny panties! But Nate doesn’t seem to care.

“You look so fucking good,” Nate growls. “You know that? You make my cock jump every time I see you.”

He pulls the panties off and tosses them aside; suddenly that embarrassment is gone. But I’m half naked, in front of him. I cover my face with my hands, biting down on the skin between my thumb and forefinger.

I can’t bear to look at him.

I need to…

Nate’s breath tickles my pussy, and I clamp my legs together. But Nate pries them apart. His strength makes it so easy, there’s nothing I can do to resist him. I wouldn’t anyway.

My nipples are burning up, and I’ve lifted my top above my head before I even know what I’m doing. My hand cups my breast, and I throw my head back as Nate’s tongue licks me from top to bottom.

God, it feels so good. I can’t believe it feels this good. I’m nervous again, but I know that Nate won’t hurt me. He is so loving. I haven’t told him I’m a…

… A virgin, but it’s as though he can tell.

“Oh God, that’s amazing…” I groan, as Nate rolls my clit around his tongue. Then sparks erupt in my mind. My stomach is clenched, toes curled, and I’m biting down on my lip. This is so much better than I imagined; so much better than I can do myself.

Nate’s like a man possessed. He licks and sucks and suddenly there’s a finger inside me. My back arches. My fingernails dig into the couch cushion beneath me.

Stars explode behind my eyelids. All I can smell is Nate. All I can feel is the heat of his mouth between my legs, the pleasure burning on my skin. My stomach is convulsing, my legs are spasming.

Oh God, I never knew it could be this good.

“Nate,” I moan, while crackling aftershocks of pleasure still break across my body like the white tips of waves, “please…”

I pause. I know what I want to say. I just can’t believe I’m going to say it. But the heat between my legs drives me on. I need him inside me.

“Please fuck me.”

Nate lifts his mouth from my pussy. He grins, flashing his perfect white teeth at me, and shakes his head. I can’t believe it! He’s going to leave me here, like this – desperate for his cock.

“I’m sorry, Kimberly Sawyers. Kiss,” he says, rolling the word around his tongue with obvious pleasure. “I’m sorry, Kiss – no can do. A promise is a promise, and I said I wouldn’t break my promise. I’m a man of my word.”