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I’m literally fanning myself as the two take off to get lost somewhere. I think it’s adorable how they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other. I hope to find that someday. Someone to love, someone that loves me back with so much devotion.

“A penny for your thoughts.”

His warm breath fans the shell of my ear. Sending a chill up my spine. I close my eyes.

I won’t dare to think that Ryan is the one that will give me that type of love. I won’t be fooled by these love stories. This is my real life. I’m not living in the fairytales come true that Bean, Kamara, and Nellie have shared with me.

I’m not going to fall victim to the lust I feel for this man. Ryan is dangerous. I can feel it with every fiber of my being. It would be easy to fall into the comfort of the trap he’s setting for me.

Once I do, I’ll be the one nursing a broken heart and hurt feelings. I’m not going to fly too close to this sun. I know for a fact it burns.

“Nellie and Wyatt have a great story,” I force out, not wanting to reveal my true thoughts.

“Yeah, it’s crazy. I never thought I’d see my brother fall so hard. I mean, there was a time when Wyatt just didn’t care.” I turn to see him shaking his head with a smile on his full lips. “But it’s a good look for him. I’ve never seen him so happy in my life.”

“Your family sticks together. I like that,” I muse out loud.

“Yeah, it’s the way Mom and Dad raised us.”

He shrugs.

I think on his words. My father raised me and my brother to be proud of our family and to be there for each other. However, I’ve always felt a little like an outsider. My dad may spoil me, but I can’t help having the feeling that my brother is in on something special.

It’s like Dad and Nelson have a secret society I’m not a part of. If you listen closely enough, you can hear it in the way Dad calls my brother by name. Never Nelson, his American name, but Neruson or Ne my brother’s nickname. Dad calls his name with such purpose—like there’s meaning behind Ne’s name alone.

I guess that’s another reason I’ve been trying to create my own thing with film school. Sometimes, I just want desperately to make my father proud. Maybe then we can have our own thing like him and Ne.

“Where’d you go, gorgeous?”

Ryan’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. It’s like velvet caressing my skin. I have goosebumps covering my arms.

“I’m here,” I say, waving him off.

Ryan twists his lips, giving me a sideways look. I hold my breath, waiting for him to call me on my bullshit. Something else I’m getting used to around here.

Skepticism is still written all over his face when he responds to me.

“The party’s getting ready to wrap up. A few of us are heading to the pub. If you’re not too tired of stories, Felix and his fiancée will go next,” Ryan says.

My head whips in the direction of Felix and the pretty girl I’ve noticed clinging to his side. The one he kissed earlier at breakfast. I had no idea they were engaged.

How on earth did I miss the rock on her finger?

It’s huge, twinkling back at me as her hand rests on Felix’s cheek. Felix has a possessive hold on her waist as he looks down at her with a secretive smile on his lips. She says something to him that makes his eyes light up.

My heart races when he places his forehead to hers. It looks like he’s trying to breathe her in. They make a gorgeous couple. I tilt my head a bit. It seems like all of the Blacks date women of color. At least all of those that I know are dating. I hadn’t thought about it until this moment.

Felix’s fiancée, I think I heard someone call her Kaye, has a pretty red bone complexion. She’s bronzed but her skin has strong hues of red. Her black hair is silky with a wavy curl pattern. It’s swept up on top of her head in a bun now, unlike this morning.

If I didn’t know better, I would say she’s Hispanic or perhaps some type of mid-eastern decent—but I do know better. Kaye looks more like one of my cousins on my mother’s side. I’d bet my Prada bag she has some type of Caribbean heritage.

I don’t think she’s Asian, possibly she does have some Hispanic background. I might go as far as saying she’s Samoan, but I question that just a bit. Again, knowing my family.

Kaye is absolutely a mixed baby like me.

I watch as a cocoa brown colored little boy runs over to Kaye. He squeals something out, but I can’t hear it from where I stand. He runs right into Felix’s leg, wrapping himself around it.

John appears snatching the boy up in his embrace. The boy throws his head back in laughter. Kaye looks at the child with so much love. As if he were the most precious thing on earth.

It only takes seconds before Felix plucks the little guy from John’s arms, placing him on his hip. Felix’s other arm goes around Kaye, pulling her in closer.

They look like the picture perfect family. Yet, I don’t know any of their relation to the boy. My mind runs wild with the possibilities. I narrow my eyes. I don’t believe Felix to be the boy’s father. Though, I could be wrong.

I’d say the little fella is about five or six. He’s so cute. I noticed him playing with the twins earlier. However, I was too engulfed in Nellie and Wyatt’s story to stop and think of who he might belong to.

“I can see the wheels turning.” Ryan’s words startle me as they get closer to my ear. “You’re either wondering what our little family will look like or you’re questioning my brother’s little unit. You’re probably thinking Felix has been hiding a kid like Toby’s ass.”

I turn to see the mirth in Ryan’s eyes. I shake my head at him, trying not to allow my mind to go to what our children would look like. I chide myself for allowing him to plant such a seed. It will never come to that between us. When we return home, I plan to stay as far away from Ryan as I can get.

“I don’t think that at all,” I address his words about Felix’s little family, ignoring his other statement. “Although, I have to say, I’m curious now.”

“Oh, trust me, their story isn’t one to be missed,” I take notice of the twinkle in his eyes.

“So the pub it is,” I reply with a shrug.