Chapter Ten

Harper woke up agitated. Thank goodness she didn’t have to work today. Or maybe that would have been better—keeping busy was preferable to staying home alone dwelling on the events of the night before, which still seemed like some weird dream. An incredibly sexy dream that left her body buzzing with need for more of where that came from.

She wanted to know more about how Noah got back here, but she didn’t want to ask just anyone. Heaven forbid it got back to him that she was asking around. No way. She had far too much pride for that. She picked up the phone and called her best friend.

Allie had gone to Italy for the wine harvest, with the intention of returning as soon as it was completed but in the meantime had fallen in love with some handsome Tuscan wine baron or something. She had decided to take a little sabbatical and see how her relationship unfolded, which meant that the two best friends were relegated to long-distance communications. It had been bad enough when Allie was working clear across the country in Calfornia. While Harper had been looking forward to her friend returning to their hometown, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, since now Allie would now be forever preoccupied with her man first. Now she had one less girlfriend to occupy her time with even if she’d come back here with him.

The phone rang several times before her friend picked up.

“Ciao, bellissima.”

“Oooh, your accent sounds even better since the last time we spoke,” Harper said.

“I have the perfect teacher.” Her friend laughed.

“Yeah, I know all about the Italian your boyfriend is teaching you. Most of which is unprintable.”

“Oh, but trust me, it sounds amazing when you’re in the heat of passion.”

“You’re going to rub this in that you’re having passion and I’m not?”

“I’m sorry, Harps. If you come visit me, I’ll see if Francesco can find another gorgeous Italian man for you. I swear to you, they are practically a dime a dozen around here.”

“Believe me, I’d love to take you up on your offer. But I’ve got some pressing concerns I need to talk to you about. Although you are sworn to secrecy. You hear me?”

“Whoa! Cryptic. You’ve got me so intrigued now.”

“You promise you won’t breathe a word to a soul?”

“Harper, even if I did, it would be translationally polluted—my Italian is not that good. The only ones I’d even be able to tell would be Francesco and his family. And it would probably come out all wrong anyhow. Suffice it to say my Italian needs a little work.”

“Except when it comes to discussions about what one does with body parts in Italian.”

“Yeah, that.”

“But I don’t want you going onto Facebook and telling any mutual friends. Don’t call your cousin Franny who we all know has the loudest mouth on the planet.”

“I haven’t talked to Franny in over a year.”

“I’m only saying, this is cone of silence stuff I’m about to divulge. You crossing your heart?”

“Done. Now spill. And please don’t tell me you’re pregnant. Last I heard you had been on a succession of dates with loser dudes that I know you’d never sleep with anyhow.”

Harper rolled her eyes. Pregnant. Did she even dare tell her how stupid she was on top of how stupid she was, what with the going bareback? She heaved a sigh. “The good news is no, there is no pregnancy. And theoretically won’t be, because thank God I’m on the Pill.”

“Wait a minute. Are you telling me you had sex—like real, live actual penetration? With a man? One who has a penis?” Harper could hear her squealing with joy in the background. “Oh my God. Harper. Finally! I knew you’d find someone you’d want to have sex with again someday. I mean, I didn’t think it would take this long and all. And to be truthful, I wish you’d have just fucked someone—anyone—to get it over with. If you had, it would have been much sooner. But I understand, sometimes some of us are late bloomers. And I guess whatever you’d had with he-who-shall-not-be-named was somehow especially precious to you. And I get it. I mean we all loved Noah. And who knows why he lost his shit the way he did. As much as I hated him for that, I never thought he meant to hurt you. Oh God, I’m on pins and needles. Do I know who it is you finally—finally!—slept with?”

“You are seriously harshing my buzz here, Allie. Because when I do tell you, you’re going to then freak on me and that’s going to freak me out more and ugh—” She took a sip of coffee that turned cold in her mug while she’d ruminated for the past hour.

“You didn’t sleep with like our high school principal or something, did you?”

Harper did a spit take with her drink, spraying coffee all over the breakfast-room table. “No, I didn’t hook up with Mr. Harbinger.”

“That’s a relief. I mean, he’s sort of old. And married. And old.”

“And married.”

“It’s not someone too young, is it? That would be kind of icky.”

“Oh, this one is, sadly, entirely age appropriate.” Harper pinched the bridge of her nose. What the hell had she done? Maybe she shouldn’t be sharing this with Allie. But she needed to talk to someone, and at least that person was her best friend, conveniently far from home and less likely to spread the word. Or meddle. Knowing Allie, she’d try to push the two of them back together. She was a big fan of happy endings. So was Harper until she got the old heave-ho and missed out on hers. “Age appropriate, but life inappropriate.”

“Would you say it already?”

“Okay, on the count of three. One.” Harper took a deep breath. In through the mouth, out through the nose. “Two.” She closed her eyes. Pretend you’re getting a shot. Clench your teeth, squint hard, and it’ll all be done. “Three. Okay, I slept with Noah Gunderson.”

The line was silent.

“Allie?”

“Yeah. I’m here,” Allie said. “Look, honey. We’ve been friends forever. I know you slept with Noah. I mean I slept with Jimmy Cusack back in high school. We all did. Why are you telling me this now?”

“Gah! Allie! I mean I slept with Noah. Last night.”

“Omigod, omigod, omigod. Shut the eff up. You so did not. What? How?”

“How? How do you sleep with someone? It usually means that you let his penis enter your vagina—”

“I know that! I mean how? Where? When? What? Huh?”

Harper heaved yet another hard sigh.

“Evidently Noah’s back. I mean actually, he’s back. And I went on a date—”

“You and Noah had a date?”

“No! I had a date with a guy. An honest-to-goodness sweet guy who I hope to date more. And then I slept with Noah.”

“There is so much more that must have happened in between all of that. Start from the beginning, please.”

“Right. So I had a date. For once the guy was really sweet. We had a great time. I decided I’d go back to his place for a drink. I call up an Uber, and who is my Uber driver but Noah. In a Subaru Outback, of all the damned things.”

“Noah’s driving Uber? I thought he was wandering the world. Or in law school. Or something like that.”

“Law school?”

“Honey, remember? I swore long ago I’d not keep you up to date on your ex.”

“Good point.”

“So why is he back home?”

“Hell if I know.”

“You slept with him and didn’t even ask that?”

“Honestly not a lot of words were exchanged.”

“No words were exchanged?”

“Not many. But plenty of body fluids.”

“Harper, you’re killing me here. Talk.”

“Fine. I was trying to, but you kept interrupting me. So Noah dropped us off at Danny’s place—”

“Sort of awkward.”

“Completely. Not to mention buzzkillish. I mean here I was giving myself a pep talk that I could even sleep with this guy—”

“Which guy?”

“My date!”

“Okay, so you’re about to have sex with this Danny guy, and instead you have sex with Noah when?”

“So I finally bailed on Danny. It was rainy, yucky, so I called for another Uber. And lo and behold, Noah shows up as my driver again.”

“And you do it in his car?”

“No! I’m not that tacky.”

“I think that would be kind of fun.”

“Yes, it would be fun. But I mean not under the circumstances. He shows up in town and bam, I bang him in his car?”

“Well, then where did you?”

“First of all, it was the last thing in my plans.”

“Always is.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean no one ever means to have sex with an ex-boyfriend. Especially one who broke your heart.”

“You can say that again.”

“Except it happens anyhow.”

“You can say that again also.”

“Please continue.”

“Oh yeah, right. So I’m getting out of his car, he walks me to my door, my key gets jammed in the lock, he helps get it out, I have one foot in the foyer, and the next thing you know I’m up against the wall with my dress up to here and his pants down to there.”

“Oh God, Harper, that sounds so passionate.”

“That’s one word for it. I might call it foolish. Or irresponsible. Or impulsive.”

“Or horny.”

“That too.”

“But it’s so exciting! You did it! You’re over your dry spell! Albeit with the last man on the planet I’d expect that from, but hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get in life. Or in your case what you’re willing to give. You could’ve gotten it from many men, but you didn’t.”

“Yeah, but Allie, now I’ve had sex with my enemy.”

“You could view him more as your frenemy. Or lovermy,” she clucked out loud. “Nah, that sounds weird.”

“Either way, I should never have done that and worse still, dammit, I want to do it so badly again that it almost makes my mouth water.”

“So then do it again.”

Harper’s eyes grew wide. “Are you crazy? Once was impulsive. Twice would be sheer stupidity.”

“Or you could call it practice.”

Harper laughed. “Practice for getting my heart hurt again?”

“You’re not going to let that happen—I’m sure of it. And quite frankly my guess is that he has no such intentions. It’s interesting, though, that you didn’t even know he was back. And the fact that he’s driving Uber means he’s working at home, which means he must be living back in Verity Beach. So I wonder what brought him back. And how long it’s been. And why he didn’t reach out to you—except that he feared you’d lop off his balls, maybe—and wow, what kismet that he ended up being your driver. Kind of like your knight in shining armor. Only in a Subaru Outback.”

Harper groaned. “I’d think that would be funnier if it wasn’t so unfunny, you know.”

“Oh, this is actually so very entertaining. I am quite excited to watch this unfold from afar. I can’t wait to hear what happens next.”

“Are you suggesting there should be a next?”

“I’m saying there damn well better be because I want to hear every little bit about it.”

“Trust me, the only thing that might happen is me taking advantage of the proximity of his very familiar penis.”

“Which was as good as ever, I presume?”

Harper let out a little moan. “Better, unfortunately.”

She could hear her friend clapping in the background. “Oh, Harper. Hurray. Yes, yes, you need to take as much advantage of that thing as possible. And keep me posted on your progress.”

“For that matter, the only progress that might happen is I might be able to catch up on some long-lost sexual satisfaction.”

“Baby steps, my dear. Baby steps.”

Baby steps, indeed. Harper resolved to make room for some Harper time. And if getting with Noah helped in that regard, well, then, it would have to suffice. Maybe she’d simply suffer through sex with Noah for the cause.