Chapter Five
“You came.” He was sitting on his bed, in a pair of black silk boxer shorts, and all I could do was stare at his golden muscular chest that was dripping with water. He must have just come out of the shower.
“I did.” I walked into his room and closed the bedroom door behind me slowly, trying to fake a confidence that I didn’t really have.
“Penny for them.” He stood up, his green eyes already looking like they were laughing at me before I’d even said another word.
“Penny for what?” I blinked, knowing that there was no way in hell that I was going to tell him that I’d been thinking about how hot his body was and how I wanted to run my hands down his chest.
“Whatever you’re thinking about right now.”
“I’m wondering why I came and what you think is going to happen,” I said as I looked away from him, my fingers itching to move forward.
“I don’t think. I hope.” He laughed and walked over to a leather chair in the corner of his room.
“What are you hoping?”
“I’m hoping you’re going to spend the night with me.” He ran his tongue over his lips and then paused. “Only there are a few things I need to say first.”
“Hmm, okay.” I stared at him in confusion. What could he possibly have to say in this moment aside from, Are you interested in having some hot sex with me right now? I knew I would have a hard time saying no.
“Don’t fall in love with me. That’s the first rule.” He stood there, almost naked, his chest glistening with water drops and all I could think about was how sexy he was.
“That’s not going to be a problem,” I lied smoothly, every nerve in my body screaming out that I was going to have to do everything in my power to not fall in love with him. I mean, it sounded stupid to even worry that I was going to fall in love with him. I didn’t even know him really. All I knew was that he was hot, and when I was with him, a warmth filled me that I’d never felt before. It was a comforting warmth that I couldn’t quite explain and I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Don’t fall in love with me, Lacey.” His green eyes looked into mine seriously. “I’m not the sort of guy you fall in love with. I’m not looking for love.” I wanted to ask him why, wanted to know what it was about love and whatever life experiences he’d had that made him not able to. But I didn’t. I didn’t because I didn’t really want to know. I didn’t want to hear that some girl broke his heart. Even though I barely knew him, I knew that that would break me inside. Hurt me. Cause me pain. I didn’t know why. It wasn’t reasonable for me to feel so empty inside knowing that he’d been with other women. Women who maybe he’d loved. Women who had made him the man he was today. Women who made it so that he would never be able to look at me in a way that would mean I was his world.
“I know you’re not.” I swallowed hard and looked away. “You’re looking for fun,” I said lightly and laughed as if it didn’t matter to me. I leaned my head back and smiled widely, pretending that as far as I was concerned, falling in love with him was the last thing that would ever happen to me. “You’re not the sort of guy I’d ever fall for,” I lied.
I gasped as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. His fingers caressed mine gently and then reached up and played with my hair softly, his eyes gazing into mine deeply, softening as he stared at me and smiled a sweet, innocent smile.
“That’s a pity,” he said with a small smile, “because you’re exactly the sort of woman I would fall in love with if I was capable of doing so.”
My heart jumped and I wanted to caress his face and pull him toward me. I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t capable of falling in love. I wanted to ask him if he thought that I’d be able to persuade him to change his mind, but of course I didn’t. I wasn’t that crazy.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked me softly.
Before I could answer, his lips pressed down on mine and I felt like a million butterflies were trying to exit my stomach and lift me off of the ground and into the air. My hands wound up to his neck and my fingers played with his hair, rubbing the back of his neck and the silky tresses that fell slightly long at the back of his head. His eyes gazed into mine as he deepened the kiss, and I felt his tongue sliding into my mouth, warm and searching.
“You’re so damn sexy,” he said as his hand slid around my waist and pulled me into him hard. I could feel his excitement, hard and solid, pressing against my stomach and I gasped at the feel of him. “You turn me on so much, Lacey.”
“Hmm,” I mumbled next to his lips as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment.
“I want to make love to you,” he growled as he picked me up quickly and walked me over to his bed slowly, his lips never leaving mine.
“Ooh,” I said, all wide-eyed as he dropped me down onto the bed and then collapsed onto the bed next to me, his hand draping over my waist casually.
“I want to devour you.” His lips fell to my neck and I felt his teeth digging into my skin as he sucked on my flesh. I trembled at the closeness of his body to mine. His hand moved up to my breast, and I thought that my entire body was going to melt into a puddle of nerves and disintegrate into the silky sheets of the bed.
“Devour me?” I tried to joke at him. “Should I be scared?”
“Scared?” He grinned as he raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Well, you know, you just told me you want to eat me.” I swallowed hard as he chuckled evilly.
“You don’t want me to eat you?”
“Henry James!” I blushed at him, knowing I’d walked right into that one.
“I mean, I don’t have to eat you if you don’t want me to. I thought you’d want me to. I like to eat, and you seem like you’d be tasty.”
“I’m very tasty.” I giggled. “At least that’s what I’ve been told.”
“Oh, yeah?” he growled. “Who told you that?”
“None of your business.” I shrugged then yelped as he pushed me flat on my back and held my arms down.
“None of my business, huh?” His lips pressed against mine as he lowered his chest against my body. “I think you’re just trying to tease me, aren’t you, Lacey?”
“Why would I do that?” I leaned up and kissed him back, enjoying the moment. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that I was some carefree, sexy, wanderlust girl who could just live in the moment and not overthink everything that was happening between us.
“Because you want to make me beg you.” His hand moved up to the side of my face and his fingers tangled in my hair as he pulled my tresses slightly.
I arched my back against him, loving the feel of his warm hard body against mine. “I don’t hear you begging yet.”
“I’m not going to beg.”
He pulled back slightly and his eyes seemed to be glittering as he looked at me. His lips were turned up in a half smile and then he spoke again. “Or maybe I will.”
My heart flipped at the look in his eyes, and I just wanted to grab him and pull him down hard on me. I wanted to feel his body melting into mine. I just wanted to feel him next to me. I just wanted to breathe him in. I didn’t fully understand why I felt the need to be connected to him in such a physical way. I couldn’t remember feeling that way before. I wanted to ask Eliza what she thought. She’d know what was going on. She’d be able to give me advice.
I sighed inwardly knowing that I couldn’t ask her right now. Not while I was still so mad at her. How could she have betrayed me like that? And how could I stay mad at her, knowing I needed to talk to her about Henry so badly? I felt like I was going to burst because I didn’t know what to think or say. I needed to talk it all out with someone, and Eliza was the person that I would do that with.
A part of me wanted to convince myself that I could do this with Henry. A part of me wanted to believe that I could just have casual sex with him and just enjoy the moment. I was pretty sure that he’d be an amazing lover. I was pretty sure that he’d be able to rock my world more than it had ever been rocked before. I was pretty sure that any physical intimacy that the two of us were to have would be magical…but maybe that was the problem. Maybe it would be too magical. Maybe it would feel too good. Maybe it would make me think it was more special than it was. I was pretty sure of nothing.
The last thing I needed was to get caught up in a guy who had already told me that he would never be able to feel the same way as me. I wasn’t sure why I always seemed to find the emotionally immature men. It felt like it was a curse that I was always finding myself in situations with men where there was no hope for a future that I’d want. It was as if I were falling into the same poor patterns over and over again. I just didn’t understand it. And I didn’t want to keep repeating the same patterns and getting my heart broken over and over again. I wasn’t sure that I’d made the right decision by coming to Henry’s room. Was I really ready for a situation like this? Was I really ready to just hook up with a guy I found so attractive? I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t as if I had crazy feelings for him. It wasn’t as if I knew him well enough to think he was my soul mate or something. It wasn’t as if we’d connected on a deeply spiritual level or anything. If anything, he’d been a bit of a douchebag when I’d first met him. Not to me in particular, but his personality seemed to say that he was full of himself. He was too rich, too handsome, too charismatic. He knew he was “the man” and that anyone that wanted to be in his life had to accept him on his own terms.
“Sleep with me, Lacey,” he whispered in my ear. “Let me pleasure you.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you, Henry.” I shook my head as I writhed on the bed, my body wanting to tell my mouth to shut up.
“I know you want to,” he groaned as he pressed his hardness into me. “I know you want to feel me inside of you.”
“Henry!” I said, my tone shocked as he tantalized me with his words. I’d never had a guy be so straightforward before and it took me aback, though I kind of liked it.
“Lacey…” He purred my name and I felt his hands sliding under my waist and lifting me up slightly.
“What are you doing?” I gasped, not knowing what to say as I found myself face down on the bed, my nose pressed into his soft plush pillow. I could feel my breath coming faster and I felt him moving my hands above my head. “Henry?”
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” I felt his breath tickling my ear as he leaned and moved my hair from the nape of neck and over to the side.
“Henry—” I tilted my head to the side and attempted to adjust myself.
“Don’t move, Lacey. Just go with it.” He ran his fingers down the sides of my arms, and I shivered at the lightness of his touch.
“Henry!” I moaned as I felt his hands sliding down my back, his fingers pressing into my back as his fingers found their way to my ass and ran lightly down my butt cheeks.
“Just close your eyes and enjoy it,” he said, his voice silky smooth as he started to massage my back.
I felt my body relaxing and I closed my eyes and just listened to the pleasurable feelings swirling through me. Don’t overthink this, Lacey. Don’t overthink this, Lacey, I lectured myself internally. Just enjoy the moment for what it is. I gasped as I felt his hands sliding in between my legs and rubbing softly for a few seconds. My legs clenched together and I could hear him chuckling, his breathing slightly deeper this time.
“Does that feel good?” he asked as he lowered his body onto mine. I could feel his manhood pressing into my butt and I gasped as he moved back and forth slowly. I was so turned on, I didn’t know what to do.
“No,” I whispered and then I giggled as he growled, a deep, sexy sound that had me even more turned on than before.
“No, huh?” he said with a small growl. “Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Another lie,” he growled, and I felt him rolling off of me and smacking my ass lightly.
“Hey!” I exclaimed in surprise as he spanked me lightly again.
“That’s what you get for lying.”
“I wasn’t lying!” I giggled, unable to stop myself.
“Oh?” His voice sounded amused and my body stilled as I felt him sliding the top of my pants down. I was about to stop him, but I was curious to see what he was going to do next. I wanted to see how far he was going to go. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t told him to stop as yet, but a part of me was curious as to what it would be like to just let go completely and give in to the moment. I lay there waiting, wondering what was going to happen next and I gasped out loud in shock as I felt his teeth biting into my ass, nibbling on my bare butt. I could feel Henry’s warm breath against my skin as he licked the spot that he’d just bitten. I wiggled on the bed as his teeth started nibbling on my butt flesh again, and I could feel that my entire body had heated up and was practically on fire. My panties were wet, and I knew that in that moment, I would do absolutely anything that he wanted me to do. I was putty in his hands. Henry had the magic touch. He was dynamite, and I was willing to light him up and watch him explode—no matter what the damage would be to me. At this point, I didn’t care.
That’s why it was so disappointing when I felt him pull away from me and pull my pants back up.
“Huh?” I looked up at him through confused eyes as he rolled me back over onto my back. He stared down at me, a wicked look in his eyes as he surveyed my trembling lips.
“Huh what?” he asked me, smiling deviously as he gazed down at me with a glint in his eyes that told me he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“Nothing,” I mumbled, not wanting to tell him that I wanted him to continue.
“Did you know that you have the softest, pinkest lips I’ve ever seen?” Henry stared down at my face and his fingers caressed my lips gently. His green eyes stared into mine as if in wonder and my heart stilled for a few seconds. I shook my head slightly, unsure of what to say. He was doing things to my head and to my heart that made me feel happy and uncomfortable at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to feel about what he was saying. Was he being sincere? Was he trying to butter me up? I mean, he already had me here in bed with him. He was either really smooth or he was just a really sweet guy. I didn’t know which one would be worse for my heart.
“You’re just saying that.”
“I don’t ‘just say’ anything.” He shook his head. “You should know that by now.”
“Sure, if that’s what you say.” I reached up and touched the side of his face, running my fingers down his cheek and then to the bridge of his nose. His skin felt soft against my fingers and the feel of his stubble turned me on even more. I wondered what he would look like with facial hair—a beard and a moustache. I bet he would look even sexier. Part of me wanted to ask him to grow it out. Part of me wanted to tell him that I thought he was the handsomest, sexiest guy I’d ever had the opportunity to be with in a romantic way, but I held myself back. I didn’t want to come off as desperate or like some sort of loser. I was already doing things that I wouldn’t normally do, and that worried me. I needed to be diligent. I needed to keep reminding myself that I was in a precarious position and that I could easily get hurt. And that was the last thing that I needed. This was just meant to be fun and maybe even helpful for my book.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked me, his voice thoughtful as he kissed the side of my mouth.
“Nothing. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m thinking about how badly I want to be inside of you. I’m thinking about how I want to make you come and scream out my name so that all you can picture in your mind is my face. I want to bring you so much pleasure that you can’t even remember your own name. I want you to think that I am part of you. I want you to want me to be part of you. What do you think of that?”
I swallowed as I stared up at him, not knowing what to say. My body felt hot and I could barely breathe. I wanted to tell him that I wanted that as well. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to be the best he ever had. That I wanted to rock his world, so that he would never want another woman. I knew that would sound crazy. I knew he would look at me like I was a weirdo and most probably would run away as fast as he could if I said anything close to that. I knew how crazy that was, how crazy that would sound. But I wasn’t actually crazy enough to say anything weird like that…yet.
“I think you like to tease me, though,” he said. “I think you want me to be turned on so that you can take advantage of me.”
“Why would I want that?” I asked him, my curiosity getting the better of me. “If I wanted you, wouldn’t I just take you? And if you want me as badly as you say you do, then would it really be teasing you? Wouldn’t it just be foreplay or giving you what you want?”
“And what is it that I want, Lacey?” He smirked at me, and I just rolled my eyes at him.
“We’re not going to have this conversation again are we?”
“We’ve had it before?”
“Henry.”
“Lacey.”
“Henry.” I shook my head at him and smiled.
“Now, this is a conversation we’ve had before.” He grinned at me and I could feel my heart melting as his green eyes stared into mine, making me feel adored and special, though I knew that was an internal feeling.
“Henry.”
“Yes, Lacey?”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I know.” He winked at me. “I’m also sexy and handsome and…”
“And a narcissist?” I interrupted him and started laughing.
“Some might call me that.”
“Only some?” I burst out laughing as we lay there, side by side, just laughing and staring at each other.
“You’re a special lady, Lacey,” he said after a few moments. “You’re a very special lady.”
“Thank you,” I said simply, knowing that in this moment he was being sincere. And my heart warmed. I was content. In this moment, I was happy. No matter what happened from here on out. No matter if he broke my heart or if we never spoke again, I had this moment. This special moment of bonding that told me that, at least for a moment, we were connected and enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sure if I could really believe in the feeling that was warming my heart, but I knew that in this moment it felt right. And that was all that mattered right now.
“I want to be with you, Lacey,” he whispered in my ear lightly. “I want to be with you very badly. But it has to be right. It has to be the right moment. And the right time. And we need to go over the ground rules.”
“What ground rules?” I asked hesitantly, my warm feeling starting to fade away. Exactly what did he have planned? And what was he so worried about?
“Now’s not the time.” He shook his head, his face more serious now. “And you already know the most important rule.”
“The rule where I shouldn’t fall in love with you?” I asked him through tense breath. I was starting to feel weird now, my heart starting to ache and my stomach starting to churn. I didn’t want to think about this right now. I didn’t want to think about not falling in love with him. Every time he brought it up, it made me think of the reason why he was so concerned about that. It was like he was stabbing me in the heart every single time he mentioned it. Like the thought of me falling in love with him was so disastrous and deplorable. It made me feel like shit—but it was better to feel this way now before I got too invested. It was good that he wasn’t lying and pretending that he was feeling something that he wasn’t, and I was glad that he was letting me know that he would never be capable of holding those feelings for me.
But I wasn’t sure if my heart was listening.
“Yeah.” He sat up then and leaned back against the headboard. I sat up as well and leaned back and pulled my knees up toward my chest and turned to him. I could tell that a more serious conversation was coming and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to hear it in this moment. “So, Lacey…”
“Yeah?” I gave him a weak smile, trying to pretend a nonchalance that I didn’t feel.
“I like you.” He frowned slightly, and I could tell that those weren’t the first words to something more special. I took a deep breath and waited for what was going to come next. This was already starting to feel like it was going to be hard and emotional, but I knew that I was still going to go through with it and see what happened. Hopefully, I wouldn’t regret my decision.
“Anything else you want to say?” I probed, wondering what was going to come next.
“No.” He shook his head and paused for a few seconds before speaking again. “Nothing else.”