All I can do is watch in shock as Alexi pins Dimitri to the ground, fixing him in place. My brain is having a hard time processing all that has just happened. That situation took a turn for the worse so quickly that it’s impossible to really consider. I don't even know where to begin with it all.

It turns out that not only is Dimitri a bad guy, he’s actually one of the worst criminals out there, which means he tricked me for many, many years into thinking that he was a nice person—how could I have been so stupid as to just fall for his act?

The fact that he threatened me with a gun just because I wouldn’t sign the stupid drug business over to him sends a shiver through my veins all over again. Who was that person? The one with pure evil in his eyes... I’ve never seen anything like that before, so cold and calculating. Even Damien never gave me that look. Plus he admitted to all of those other terrible things that people said about him, which means my judgment has been utter shit all along. This isn’t some heat of the moment crazy reaction over money... this is something that’s been carefully plotted over the last few years.

What sort of parents do these guys have? I mean, I always knew that they weren’t great, but this has me questioning everything. Then again, my dad was a bad guy too, and I didn’t turn out evil so maybe they aren’t totally to blame. I may have made some bad decisions, but it’s never been evil driving me.

How could I have ever thought that Dimitri was better than Damien? They are both scum of the Earth. I should never have gotten involved in the Novikov family at all... I can see now that I should’ve just waited to escape my own family problems rather than gotten involved with the first man to come my way. I should have saved up my own money and done it on my own. I should have been more independent and a whole lot smarter.

As Alexi yells at us to call the cops, Karen looks at me like a deer in headlights. “You’re going to have to do it,” she tells me, her voice shaking as she speaks. “I can’t have my voice recorded in case they ever use this 911 call as evidence or something. Plus, I’m supposed to be on call tonight so I’ll probably get called in as backup anyway. I’m going to have to go for now, you just... get your story straight in your head and wait for the cops to come. I’ll try and make sure that I’m the one questioning you so that we can work this out together, okay?”

And with that, she races off in a cloud of dust, not even giving me a second to answer. Get my story straight... how the hell am I supposed to do that? I don't even really know what happened here! What am I supposed to say? Where will I even begin?

I numbly watch Alexi choke Dimitri long enough to knock him out for a while as I dial the numbers that fill me with such dread. I know it’s unlikely I’ll be blamed for this murder—surely that can’t happen twice—but I don't really like my track record either,, and I’m scared to do it again. However, I do know that I don't have a choice, so I do my best to focus as I put in the report.

When I’m done, I turn back, unsure of what I’m going to be faced with and Alexi runs to my side and pulls me into an embrace. All fears that I might have screwed up everything vanish from my mind.

“I’m really sorry,” he whispers sadly into my ear. “But I’m going to have to go too.”

“What?” I pull back, incredulous. “What do you mean? I can’t do this alone!” I’m freaked out at the prospect of having to face this without him, but I can already tell he isn’t going to change his mind. There’s a morose resignation in his eyes, one that I know won’t be shifted.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he tells me. “But I can’t get caught by the cops, I’ve been involved in too many criminal activities. Plus, I need to talk with the agency about what happened with Aidan. I need to make them understand so they don’t kill me.”

“What... what’s going to happen?” I ask, trembling. “Will you be okay?” I want to ask him if I’ll be okay too, but I know he cannot possibly know the answer to that.

“I just need to speak to them to get things figured out, it’ll all be fine,” he tries to reassure me. “All you need to worry about is dealing with the police. Tell them that Dimitri called you here to discuss Damien’s assets... that’s very realistic. Say that you came here and heard arguing between Dimitri and Aidan, and that things got out of hand. They fought, and Dimitri killed him.”

I nod, trying to keep myself together. I might not like this one bit, but I can already see that there’s no point in arguing about it now. This is happening whether I like it or not, so I might as well get on board. Might as well get my head in the game for what’s to come.

He holds my shoulders and stares into my eyes, before pulling me in for a deep, passionate kiss. He makes me dizzy with desire for him, even in this insanely stressful moment—holding me close, and for a time, I forget everything. I simply fall into his arms and let go.

“I love you,” he whispers, saying those words for the first time. “I’m sorry I haven’t told you that before, but I do.”

“I love you too,” I reply, tears filling my eyes. “I really do.”

I think that I might have loved him from the very first second that I laid my eyes upon him. It’s just a shame that I’ve held back saying something until now. I can see now that I was wrong to do that. After everything I’ve been through I should have just lived in the moment.

Now I have the terrible thought that the first time I tell him that I love him may also be my last. He’s going now, off to God knows where, and I have no idea when I’m going to see him again.

Then sirens sound in the distance and with one last lingering look, Alexi races off, leaving me alone with a tight fear, gripping my heart.

* * *

I don't let the tears come until I’m finally making my way home from the police station. I refused to cry while I was being questioned for hours. I think I did pretty well because I stuck to my story, I kept the facts as vague as I could, and in the end they seemed to be satisfied enough to let me go. Being a distraught woman who has just lost everything and now fears for her own life—that played pretty well and I think they gave me some leeway out of sympathy.

Karen was in the room as I was being questioned, but she wasn't the only officer there, and that made things difficult. I had to really think about what I was saying so as not to get anyone else in trouble, but I think I nailed it. She certainly gave me a satisfied smile as I left the room, which I’m choosing to take as a good sign. I need some positivity to focus on at the moment, just to keep me from falling apart.

I’m off the hook for everything, and all the murders will be pinned on Dimitri. This feels like justice since everything is his fault anyway. He got the ball rolling, and I don’t feel bad about him being locked up for the rest of his life. It’s where he needs to be for the safety of the rest of the world. The public might be safer if he was dead, but at least this way justice could be served.

I also gave the police what details I knew about the drug business I inherited, so they could shut that down too. I know that I could have easily signed it over to Dimitri for the money I needed to start all over again, but this way I get to do it by myself. I don't have to rely on the finances of criminals to build myself a life.

Now I can become the independent woman that I was always supposed to be. For today, I have the house, so I’m not totally homeless, but that will be taken away from me soon enough when it becomes clear that I cannot pay off Damien’s debts. Hopefully by then I’ll have a plan. Once I get through Dimitri’s trial, I’ll want to move away and get that fresh start I want so badly.

Of course I’m only thinking about all of that because I don't want to focus on the fact that I might never see Alexi again. I don't even want to think about what was happening with him while I was in the police station, and I dread knowing where he is now. Maybe the agency killed him already. Maybe he’s left. Maybe he’s running the whole damn place, and he’s decided that I no longer fit into his lifestyle...

The possibilities boggle my mind.

My fingers close around the heart hanging from the chain around my neck, and I try desperately to grab onto the fact that maybe, by some miracle, he’ll come back to me. But, deep down, I know that my luck has run out.

I’ve already managed to get away with so damn much, there’s no way I’ll get to keep the man of my dreams too. He’s gone forever... maybe it’s time to accept that.

But when I reach the driveway to my home, he is sitting there on the doorstep, looking like a mirage.

“Alexi?” I stammer, wondering if I’ve actually snapped and now I’m imagining things. “Is that you?”

“It’s me,” he says, standing up, but I get the distinct impression that something isn’t right with him, he certainly doesn’t look happy. “I’m here... but I can’t stay.”