After careful deliberation and not one ounce of sleep, Alex pulled herself out of bed and took a shower.
She was completely wrong and overreacted in the worst possible way with Cade. Sometime around three a.m. and a soggy pillow she realized that.
She knew that no one other than family ever did anything for her without getting something in return. Then she started to remember all the times Cade did stuff for her and expected nothing.
From the first time they’d met, he offered to help her with the family business that she’d just started to get out of the red. She’d never asked once, and she fought an internal battle to accept it. When she did, he didn’t rub her face in it like she feared he might.
Then he stood up for her. He went to bat for her in more ways than one since they’d been together.
Now the problem was, could she swallow her pride and tell him that? Could she grow up and realize that not everyone was after something from her?
That maybe love made people do really stupid things. That had to be it, because by five a.m. she knew beyond a doubt she was headlong in love with Cade Fierce and she had to find a way to make this right.
***
The next morning, Cade opened his door to leave, only to see Alex standing there with her fist in the air poised to knock. “Cade,” she said.
“Alex.” It was the last person he expected to see. “Come on in.”
“Sorry it’s so early,” she said.
“I’m up,” he said.
“And getting ready to leave. I won’t keep you.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked, shutting the door behind her. He wasn’t sure if he should be excited that she came to him or nervous.
“I wanted to talk to you. I couldn’t sleep last night. I might have been a little bit hard on you. Or maybe what I said was harsh.”
“You think?” he asked. He wanted to keep the sarcasm back but it slipped. Holy cow, she was going to apologize to him. He was glad he didn’t rush over last night like his mother told him.
“I’m still not happy that you interfered the way you did. I thought we were going to form a plan together. I didn’t think you were going to go rogue and deal with this on your own.”
It reminded him of all the times he’d yelled at Brody for doing exactly what he did. The difference was, he didn’t go completely rogue. He covered his ass with his family. Maybe he should have covered it with her.
“Sometimes you do things for people you love without thinking it all out.”
“It’s just—what? What did you say?”
“I said people do things for those they love and then worry about the consequences after.”
He couldn’t believe she was so slow to register what he’d just said. “You love me?”
“Yes. Why else would I get on a plane—twice in one day—if I didn’t love you?”
“That was something that crossed my mind last night, you getting on the plane. But my anger was just getting the best of me. I’ve never had anyone stand up for me before and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“I get that. I told you, though, why we were helping you. I just don’t understand why it’s such a surprise to you.”
“And I told you how it was for me growing up. I never had any close friends. I have a small family. I tried to stay in the shadows after a certain point in my life because whenever I got attention it wasn’t a good kind of attention.”
“Same here. And the thing is—something I realized myself—we aren’t those kids anymore. We’re adults that are stronger than that.”
“At times,” she said. “Other times I just wonder why you’re with me.”
“I never expected you to be so insecure. Not someone who won beauty pageants. Who got on stage and performed. Who fought to bring the family business back to life. I don’t understand this.”
It seemed to him she was a completely different person.
“I guess we all have insecurities in our lives. I’ve been afraid to let myself feel anything for you.”
“I know,” he said, taking a chance and reaching for her, pulling her into his arms. She looked so sad and lost right now and though he should feel good that she came to him, the other part knew he had some apologizing to do too. “I was on my way to see you right now.”
“You were?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’ve made some missteps. I guess I’ve been frustrated by the fact that I keep wanting something that you don’t. Then I started to panic that you may never feel the way I do. I was up all night trying to figure out a way to give you some closing arguments.”
She laughed. “I don’t need them. I’m my own worst enemy at times. But in this case, all that fighting I was doing with myself was being worn down by your siblings.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means every time I turned around, one of them was at the shop talking about you or doing things for you that put you close to me.”
“I can only imagine what they were saying,” he said dryly.
She leaned back and kissed him lightly on the lips. “All good things.”
“Really?” he asked. “Like what?”
“Fishing for compliments?” she asked, pulling him over to the couch.
“Always. But, yes, I’d like to know.”
“I don’t want to betray any of them, but know one thing, Cade. They all love you. They all support you and they all want what is best for you.”
“Seems they think you might be what is best for me.”
“I thought of that last night too. That all this time I was telling myself I wasn’t good enough for you. Or what could you possibly be interested in me for? Yet your entire family seems to have taken me under their wing. Even though because of me your family name was put in a negative light.”
“Not negative enough at all. Just because we don’t want it to happen, we know it can. That’s when we all stand together. And they know a good thing when they see it.”
“So it seems,” she said, cuddling in with him a bit more.
“I need to apologize before we get off track,” he said.
“For what?”
“For not telling you what was going on. For doing it on my own. I guess you could say it was old-fashioned thinking on my part and I was trying to take care of it for you.”
“You wanted to be my savior?”
“Yeah. I’ve never been that for anyone before,” he said.
“Really? That’s not the impression I’ve gotten from your siblings.”
He thought back to all the times he was there for them when it counted. That even though he was the one that annoyed them the most, he also got them out of binds when needed. Maybe he’d been too hard on himself all along, like his mother said.
“So now what?” he asked. “What about us?”
“What about us?” she said.
“Well, you came over here to apologize. I did the same. I recall saying I loved you and yet you never said it back.”
He’d been waiting for her to say it and she wasn’t even coming close. Again, like his mother said, he couldn’t assume anything. If he wanted to know how she felt, then he was going to ask her point blank.
“I thought of a lot of things last night. Not just that your siblings were always telling me such wonderful things about you, but how you made me feel.”
“How’s that?” he asked.
“Cherished at times. Special. Cared for. Loved. I think I’ve known all along you were falling for me, but told myself if I was wrong, it was going to hurt so much and I just didn’t want to be hurt anymore.”
“I won’t hurt you, Alex,” he said. “Or I’ll try not to. I’m going to do and say stupid shit, I know it. But I’ll own up to it.”
“I know you will. The same can go for me. But the big thing is, I know how easily you get sick and you flew to Texas and back in one day for me. That tells me how much you really love me. This wasn’t you doing it because you’re trying to protect me. It’s not you trying to be my savior. It’s only partially those things.”
“It is,” he said.
“When you love someone, you go all in. I’m going all in. I love you too, Cade.”
He picked her up and swung her around. “Thank God. It’s been killing me waiting for you to say that. I really thought I lost you last night.”
“I thought I lost you too with my careless words when I left.”
“If there is anyone that can relate to careless words,” he said, “it’s me!”