CHAPTER 10
Colt
“So how long is this arrangement going to last?”
Sitting across from a friend of hers—Alex, I think her name was—Natalie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she answered. “I guess that depends on whether my father becomes the actual vice-presidential candidate.”
“Do you want him to?” her friend asked.
From what I’d gathered, she was a friend Natalie had gone to college with. Still shaken from the incident at the restaurant, Natalie had asked her friend to meet her for lunch. I had been accompanying Natalie everywhere since the incident, and it was clear that she had been trying her best to keep busy in order to distract herself from what was going on with her father.
Natalie shrugged her shoulders again in response to her friend’s question. “It’s hard to say. I do, because I know my father would love the official nomination. And I know how good he would be for this country. But on the other hand, I’m not sure how much more I can take of knowing that people are out to get him. Politics is such a dirty business.”
“Well, on the bright side, if he does become Vice President, you guys will have secret service, right? You won’t have to worry about random nutcases sneaking up on you.”
“That’s true.”
“Or…do you already have your own secret service agent?” the friend asked, dropping her voice to what she thought was a whisper.
“No. I told you, he’s just hired by my father,” Natalie said, glancing briefly at me.
I twinge of annoyance went through me at being described as someone ‘just hired by her father.’ Then I reminded myself that technically, it was true.
I turned my focus back to my newspaper, knowing I wasn’t even supposed to be listening to Natalie’s conversation with her friend anyway. That’s why I had purposely seated myself at a separate table. In order to do my job right, I was supposed to blend into the background and keep watch from afar.
I needed to get back into a professional state-of-mind, especially after what had happened between us. The first time, had been permissible, but the second time hadn’t…
The night of the attempted assassination on her father, Natalie had been vulnerable. She had been desperate for a distraction, and in need of comfort. I tried to keep this in mind every time I thought about her touch and the feel of her skin—every night I found myself longing to go to her bedroom and take her again.
“Here’s your refill, sir.”
My thoughts were interrupted when the waiter came back with more coffee. “Thank you,” I said.
I glanced toward Natalie and her friend. They had grown relatively quiet as they finished the last of their lunches. Natalie met my gaze again just briefly before looking away.
She doesn’t really want me, I thought to myself, trying desperately to ignore how much that thought hurt. I’m nothing but a quick fix to her whenever the mood hits. She is not worth losing my job over.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
I took a sip of my coffee, which suddenly tasted bitter in my mouth. I had to admit, I’d been guilty of using women as quick fixes before. Yet now, I doubted I’d ever be able to comfortably do so again—not after Natalie. It was no fun being on the other side of such treatment.
Natalie and her friend stood from their table and hugged each other.
“Thank you so much for coming to lunch with me,” Natalie said.
“Any time. And please, keep me posted on what’s going on with you, all right?”
“I will.”
Natalie watched her friend walk out of the diner, and looked towards me. “I’ll be right back,” she said. I nodded as she retreated to the ladies’ room.
I finished my coffee and sat back in my chair with a sigh, thinking about how being assigned to the Finley’s had become hardest job I’d ever worked. Not even my time in the army compared.
When Natalie returned, I left a few dollars on the table for a tip. “You ready?” I asked, standing and looking towards the door rather than at her. It was becoming increasingly more difficult each day to look her in the eyes and not feel simultaneously torn between wanting to kiss her and wanting to leave her to focus only on my career.
“Yeah. You mind taking me to the library?” she asked, looking slightly agitated. She missed the days when she could study in the library of her own home.
I nodded. “All right. Let’s go.”
* * *
Regularly sitting in the library watching Natalie study for her BAR exam wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world, to say the least. So in an attempt to entertain myself, I found a book to read. Yet, after settling into a chair on the opposite side of the room from her, I fell asleep before even getting through the first chapter.
Ever since moving into the safe-house with Natalie, sleep hadn’t been easy to come by. I stayed on alert, checking the premises to make sure everything was in proper order.
“Natalie Finley?”
Someone called her name. I jerked awake, my eyes immediately zooming in on a young man walking toward her, a smile on his face.
I leaned forward, ready to spring into action at any second if necessary.
Natalie looked up from her book, her eyes widening. “Joey?”
I felt somewhat relieved that the man was someone she knew, although that relief was short-lived and quickly replaced with all-consuming jealousy. There was something intimate about how they looked at one another, and once he was close enough to her, my suspicions were confirmed. He wrapped her into a hug, his arms curling low on her waist and looking as if he didn’t want to let her go. He kissed her cheek. “It’s been forever,” he said.
“It has,” she agreed, giving him a smile that made my stomach tie up in fucking knots.
“What’s been going on with you?”
My jealousy further reared its head when the man took a seat at her table. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him, sizing him up. He looked around Natalie’s age, and I supposed he was handsome—with his shoulder-length hair and neatly trimmed goatee. He had a slim build, and I shamefully imagined how easy it would be to knock him the hell out.
“Oh, kind of a lot actually,” Natalie answered with a sigh and then proceeded to tell him all about the things going on with her father. The guy—Joey—listened, riveted and completely enamored with her. I felt my annoyance illogically rising, especially as he reached out and to rub her shoulder, consoling her. He then began to hold her hand, and I envisioned slicing that fucker’s hand clean off his arm.
Get a grip, Colt, I thought to myself. But it was no use. The jealousy I felt couldn’t be contained, and I knew my stare must have been burning a hole in the side of Joey’s face. After a while, he finally noticed me. His eyebrows shot upward, startled. He then leaned in and whispered into Natalie’s ear.
She turned her gaze toward me, and I heard her mutter the word ‘security.’
Joey’s expression relaxed and he gave me a wave that I couldn’t bring myself to return.
Realizing that I probably looked like a complete asshole staring so intently at the two of them, I tried to force myself to read the book tossed haphazardly in my lap. But once again, it was no use. I kept straining my ears, trying to hear their conversation. I kept glancing their way, wondering if he was touching her, and feeling that horrible pang of jealousy every time I heard her giggle at something he said.
I couldn’t have been more relieved when he finally got up to leave. They exchanged phone numbers before giving each other a far too long hug goodbye.
Once he was gone, Natalie sat back down and glanced my way.
Forgetting that I needed to keep my professional distance, I found myself storming up to her table. “Who was that?” I asked, the annoyance clearly detectible in my voice.
Natalie stared at me, her eyebrows raised. “My ex,” she answered after a pause.
“Doesn’t look like he still wants to be your ex,” I said bitterly.
“Well, it’s not like things really ended badly between us. He just transferred to another school and the long-distance relationship was too hard to keep up with. We sort of just fell out of touch rather than officially broke up.”
My heart plummeted. “So…you still like him?”
She shrugged her shoulders. Then she looked me square in the eyes, clearly challenging me. “I don’t know. Why?”
That question was so loaded, I didn’t know where to begin. I wanted to tell her right in that moment how badly I wanted her. I wanted to tell her that no one could protect and provide for her the way that I could. I wanted to tell her that if I got to make love to her for every night for the rest of our lives, it still wouldn’t be enough.
I wanted to tell her that if I couldn’t have her, no one else could.
But I had no right. I had answered her honestly the first night at the safe house. I had no idea what we were if anything. Mostly our relationship was a distraction, to both of us.
I sat before her, my hands clenched in my lap and literally biting my tongue, trying to hold back words that I would never be able to take back if I dared let them out of my mouth.
“Why, Colt?” she asked again. There was no doubt she was challenging me this time, and I had to wonder if she already knew the thoughts going through my head.
As I had far too many times, I thought about the feel and taste of her skin.
“Because,” I said, trying hard to keep my voice steady, “I need to know who I have to keep my eye on. For safety measures.”
She looked away from me. “Joey isn’t dangerous.”
I grumbled. He was the most dangerous person we had encountered, as far as I was concerned. He posed the danger of permanently ruining my chances with Natalie. He posed the danger of making me realize once and for all that if I didn’t officially make my move and let my feelings be known, I would never have a shot…
“What’s wrong? What are you thinking?” Natalie asked.
“Too much,” I said, standing from her table.
She looked up at me and stood as well. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Fine, well I have some more studying to do.”
“Then I’ll just sit back over there. Watching you.”
“Yes, I guess you will.”
I dropped back into my chair and opened the book I still hadn’t read.
Fucking Joey.