Jazz groaned uncomfortably as Nathan gave Sue Ella Higgins a long and slurpy-sounding kiss goodbye in front of the old flag pole at the entrance to Kennedy High.

“Relax, Susie Q,” she cried to her best friend’s newest girlfriend as she grabbed him by the collar of his letter jacket and pulled him off his blonde-locked, air-headed flavor of the month. “He’s just going home, not off to war!”

“C’mon, lover boy,” she said to Nathan, bounding forward at a quick pace. “Try to keep up.”

He laughed and jogged after her. “Jealous much, Jazzy J?”

She waved to the school secretary, who was watching them through the main office window. “No, and don’t call me that.”

She’d been fiercely jealous of Nathan’s first girlfriend, Angela de Martinez, and maybe a tiny bit jealous of his second girlfriend, Ramona Wzarcheck. By the time Nathan had worked his way through LaToya Barnes, Nadia Alif, and Mary Jane Blythe, she had stopped feeling much of anything.

At least Nathan Reed was an equal opportunity playboy. The one thing all his girlfriends had in common was their boobs were infinitely bigger than their brains.

Sure, she’d been jealous in eighth grade, but they were high schoolers now—freshmen. The time had come to discover who they were and what they would be in the world. Even though Jazz hadn’t the slightest clue about that, she would choose brains over beauty any day of the week—and that made her irreconcilably different from her BFF who chose beauty every single time.

After a line of minivans passed, Jazz crossed the street, eager to get home. She had a chapter to read for English and a problem set to finish for Geometry.

“So, Jazz, I was thinking…” Nathan jogged forward and then turned to walk backward before her so they could talk face to face.

“Well, that would be a first for you,” she quipped, rolling her eyes.

“Shut up and listen to me,” he said, preparing to launch another hare-brained scheme her way, no doubt. That was her Nathan, always scheming about something and always asking her along for the ride. Luckily, most of his ideas were ones she enjoyed putting into action. Would this one be that way, too?

“Okay, so you should volunteer for the homecoming committee,” he informed her. “Like as the chair.”

“Okay.” As a breeze rustled the tree branches, a black bird rode the air currents. Jazz wanted that kind of purpose someday. But until she figured out where she was going, how could she ever take the leap and fly?

She turned to Nathan, realizing he was waiting for her to say more. “Why?”

“Well, you need activities and stuff to look good on your college applications, right? And since you suck at sports, I thought maybe you could do this.”

“I don’t suck at sports.” Even as she spoke the words, she knew they weren’t true. Her mom had forced her to play softball throughout elementary school, yet she’d never managed a base hit. Not one single time in almost five years.

Jazz bit back a sigh. She did suck at sports, but she also knew they weren’t even a little bit important in the large scheme of things. Well, life.

Nathan bumped her shoulder with his as he fell back into step beside her. “You do, but it’s okay. I love you anyway.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, as long as you love me, baby.”

“I will always love you-oo-oo-ooh!” Nathan crooned. Reciting song titles to each other was one of their favorite pastimes. The more obscure the reference, the more points awarded, though they’d stopped keeping score many years ago.

They both laughed at his terrible rendition of Whitney Houston’s classic love song. Nathan could never manage to hit the high notes, but—God bless him—he always tried.

He fell back into step beside her. “But anyway, about the committee… I mean me and Sue Ella will probably be king and queen for the freshman class. And if you’re on the committee, you can make sure the decorations match my eyes or whatever.”

“Nathan Reed, you have brown eyes. Do you want a poop-themed homecoming? Because I refuse to be a part of that.”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it in his. For having a strictly platonic relationship, they sure held hands a lot—but that was just the way they were. And honestly, she liked that.

Jazz and Nathan.

Nathan and Jazz.

He sighed, then turned his aforementioned poop-brown eyes at her. “You’ve got me. It’s really just a way to spend more time together. Please, Jazzy? Please.”

“Well, I do. Cherish you,” she sang in response, squeezing his hand as they walked past Mr. Smith mowing his lawn.

“Great, then maybe you can make some new friends, huh?”

“What do I need friends for? I have you, and, believe me, you are more than enough.”

“C’mon, Jazz. Can’t you picture it? You make all these sexy new friends and then invite them for sleepovers, and I’ll—”

“Peep at us through the window? No, thank you!” She thought about the times she’d glanced across the yard and into his room without his knowledge, and her cheeks grew hot with the hypocrisy of her protest.

“It was worth a try.”

They turned the corner onto their home street right on schedule. The two of them took this same walk together twice per day five times per week. Nothing ever changed.

Nathan pulled her into his chest, causing Jazz to stumble from the unexpected motion. He was so strong and warm. Her heart beat like a snare drum roll.

What was happening? She straightened to put space between them. That was better.

“I mean it,” he said, thankfully not noticing her reaction to him. “You need more friends. It’s too much pressure on me.”

Wait. What? She thought about his words. “Pressure? How is being my friend pressure?”

“No, not being your friend. I don’t mean that. You know what I mean. I mean… Ugh.” Jazz could practically see smoke pouring out from Nathan’s ears as his brain worked overtime trying to put his inane thoughts into words.

“My mom!” he yelled, startling Jazz. “If she didn’t have her family and friends, she would be alone in our house all day with nothing to do but cook and clean.”

Jazz looked toward Nathan’s house, hoping his mother wasn’t out in the yard to overhear him. “Your mom is the most social person I know, and she loves to cook and clean.”

“Yeah, that’s my point,” Nathan said all too eagerly. “Now think about your mom.”

“What about my mom? She has two jobs and hardly ever a moment free.”

“That’s the other point. She doesn’t have anyone since your dad left. She’s all alone.”

“She’s got me.” Wherever Nathan was going with this, Jazz didn’t like it.

“But you’re a burden, not a support.”

“Excuse me?” Jazz wasn’t the slapping kind, but if she’d had a drink, she’d have tossed it in his face. Just like angry sitcom women did whenever a guy overstepped his bounds—and Nathan had definitely overstepped.

He sighed as if it were her fault that she didn’t understand, rather than his for doing such a poor job explaining himself. “No, you know what I mean.”

“Actually, I don’t know what you mean, and I’m getting pretty offended here, so backpedal quickly, Reed, while you still have a bike left to ride.”

He raised his hands in surrender, but kept talking anyway. “All I’m saying is you know I love you and will always be here for you, but one person isn’t enough, Jazz. You need some kind of insurance, some kind of plan B.”

Well, this had come out of nowhere, as far as Jazz was concerned. What had happened all of a sudden to drive such a wedge between them? Had he finally discovered her feelings—and was he looking to make a graceful exit from their friendship? She couldn’t come right out and ask him, so she did what she always did when faced with an uncomfortable situation—she made a joke.

“Are you breaking up with me? Because, hate to break it to you, we aren’t even dating. Unless I’m even more confused than I thought.”

“No, I’m just trying to look out for you.” He drew his brows together as if trying to be serious, but something that looked like confusion flashed in his eyes. “You’re like a little sister to me. You know that.”

“Well, you have an awful way of showing it,” Jazz spat, trying to hide the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. His little sister, of course. That’s all she would ever be, and she needed to get used to it.

His eyes widened as if he only now noticed how much this conversation had hurt her, but he still had no idea why. He couldn’t ever know.

“Jazz, Jazz, no. I didn’t mean…” He tried to make her feel better, just as he always did, but it wasn’t working this time. “I’m an idiot, okay? Forget I said anything.”

“Okay. But next time, don’t say it,” she snapped before rushing into her house to avoid saying more.

That night after she’d finished her homework, Jazz glanced at Nathan’s window. The blinds were closed, but the light was on. So close, but so far away. The story of her life. She almost laughed until she wanted to cry.

Time to pull myself together.

She’d thought she’d put her crush on him behind her and moved on, but she’d been clinging to him. Still, that was on her, not Nathan. He hadn’t known why his words had hurt her so much, but his friendship meant too much to let her feelings—ones she knew he’d never return—get in the way.

When Nathan picked her up for their daily walk to school the next morning, she had already forgiven him—and he didn’t try bringing up the conversation again, thank goodness.

By the time homecoming rolled around, Jazz had made a few new friends on the committee—but she would honestly trade them all for Nathan. How come he needed so many people to make him happy when she only needed him?

That night at the dance, as she watched her best friend accept the homecoming king crown beside his newest new girlfriend, Misty Cartwright, Jazz asked herself if she’d rather stay Nathan’s friend forever than risk losing him for the chance at going after something more.

It was a no brainer, even if the truth hurt.

She would always be his confidant, but never his queen.