Chapter 19
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Sydney blew a stray strand of hair from her forehead as she stirred the pancake mix. At the moment, the house was calm and quiet. Marco was at work. Pops was snoozing in the recliner, taking his morning nap. And the kidlets and Lady were upstairs sleeping.
She’d tried to wake her niece and nephew before coming downstairs to let Lady out and give Pops his medication. She wanted to keep them on the schedule that she and Devon had worked so hard to implement. But they were both exhausted and neither wanted to get up. So, Sydney let them sleep in.
As much as she was enjoying this rare moment of peace, it was giving her mind ample opportunity to obsess about things she shouldn’t even be thinking about. Nothing useful or constructive could come from the things that were playing on a loop in her head.
She kept remembering the way Marco had carried her up to the bedroom. The way his kiss devoured her. The way his touch permeated her entire being. The way her heartbeat synced with his as they’d drifted off to sleep.
And when she forced herself to stop reliving those moments, her mind would automatically jump to how incredible he’d been with the kids. She loved Pauly and Isabella to death, but they were not the kind of kids you could put crayons in front of, and they’d be occupied for hours. They had questions about everything. They fought about everything. They had meltdowns over everything. Well, not everything, but a lot of things. And it was exhausting, both mentally and physically.
But Marco had not only kept his cool, he’d been a rock star. The kids worshipped him, though she was still his number one fan. Marco Reyes could diffuse a three-year-old’s meltdown in under thirty seconds. Watching the way he was around them, the ease, confidence, and patience had been the biggest turn-on imaginable.
Marco had always made it clear that he didn’t want to be a father. He’d never wavered on that topic. But that didn’t stop her from envisioning him with children. With their children. That didn’t stop her from fantasizing about being pregnant with his babies. Nope, it sure didn’t.
Clearly, she was delusional.
She wanted to clear her mind of any and all Marco-related fantasies, but every time she tried, her mind automatically went to Paulo and the stunt that he’d pulled. She’d known that he was a narcissist from the first time she’d met him. And he’d revealed more of his true colors after Devon’s accident. But this was a new low, even for him.
The more she thought about it, the faster her wrist flicked the whisk. It eventually got so fast that the wire loops became just a blur of silver as she took out all of her frustration on the pancake mix. These were going to be the most lump-free pancakes in history.
When she’d finished annihilating the batter, she was out of breath but felt a little better emotionally. She’d had friends that had said that cooking was their therapy and she was starting to see they might be on to something.
She was pulling out a pan when she heard the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs. “Auntie’s in the kitchen,” she called out.
Two sleepyheads rounded the corner followed by Lady the Nanny dog. Other than to be let out to go to the bathroom, Lady hadn’t left their side. The kids climbed into chairs at the kitchen table. Isabella sat to Pauly’s left just like they did at home. And Lady curled up under the table.
“Where’s Marco?” Pauly asked, as he shifted back and forth to get comfortable in the chair.
“Yeah, where’s Marco?” Isabella parroted.
Yep. They were big fans.
“He’s at work.”
“When’s he coming home?” Pauly followed up.
Sydney had no idea if he was coming home for lunch, and she knew better than to tell the kids that he might be. Mights and maybes were wills and yeses in their little heads. She went with a non-committal, “I’m not sure.”
“I like Marco. He’s funny.” Isabella wiped her eyes before resting her head on the table. “I miss him.”
You and me both, kid.
Hoping to get the subject off of Marco, she asked, “Hey, are you guys hungry?”
They both nodded.
“Pancakes will be ready soon,” she announced cheerily.
After filling two cups of orange juice, one with ice for Isabella and one without for Pauly, she set them down in front of them.
“Thank you,” they said in unison.
As upset as she was about what her sister’s ex had done, she wasn’t upset at all about getting to see them. She’d thought she was close to her nephew and niece before the accident, and she was. She saw them at least once a week, sometimes twice. But living with them and being their primary caregiver while her sister recovered had taken things to an entirely different level.
She knew, now more than ever, that she wanted a family of her own. And she also knew that Marco was not going to be the person she had that with. As heartbreaking as that truth was, in a weird way, it took the pressure off. She could enjoy whatever time she got to spend with him over their final week and then go home and move on with her life.
It was cut and dry. A clean break. No expectations.
She bent down and kissed both of their heads before checking the time. It was almost nine. She hadn’t heard anything from Marco about whether or not he’d been able to get in touch with a new home healthcare worker.
As she poured the pancake mix onto the pan, she began making a game plan for the day in case he’d been unable to secure someone. She’d had to care for her sister and the kids for months, so she knew she could handle it. But it was going to be a juggling act.
Her phone buzzed on the counter, and she expected it to be Marco with news on the situation. But it was a text from her sister. Devon wasn’t able to get a flight out, and there were no rental cars available at the two rental companies she’d checked. She said she’d let Sydney know when she found something.
By the time she stacked the final perfect, fluffy flapjack on the plate, Sydney had resigned herself to the very real possibility that she’d be flying solo today with both the kids and Pops. It might not be pretty, but as long as everyone was alive at the end of it, she’d consider it a job well done.
Opening the fridge, she bent down to grab the butter and maple syrup when she heard Pauly cry out, “Marco!”
“Marco’s home!”
She straightened and saw that he was.
Marco was in the doorway of the kitchen, currently being attacked by a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a dog.
As happy as she was to see him, she was also concerned that something must be wrong for him to be home at this hour. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s great.” He smiled at her and grabbed the pancakes off the counter and carried them to the table.
The kids followed after him like ducklings and climbed back into their chairs. And so did she. She fell right behind them as she carried the butter and syrup to the table.
As if they’d rehearsed it, he placed a pancake on each kid’s plate, and Sydney buttered and cut up Isabella’s. It was as if they did this together every morning. Like this was their routine. Taking care of the kids with Marco had her ovaries throwing a party. A baby shower. One that she had to keep canceling.
“What are you doing home?” she asked quietly as they moved back into the kitchen.
“I promised backup by nine a.m. It’s nine on the dot.”
“Oh, are you meeting the nurse here?”
“No. I’m the backup.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine with them and Pops. You can’t do that. You have to prep for the—”
“It’s done,” he said as he smiled down at her. “Everything is ready for the assessments. The only thing that I’m missing today is a meeting with the city council about a movie that Kyle is filming in Hope Falls. He’s going to be shadowing the hotshot crew so Evan wanted me to sit in but he can handle it without me.”
“Is he going to film in Hope Falls?”
“Yeah. I think he’s directing and starring in it.”
“Marco, come sit by me!” Isabella chirped.
“I’ll be right there,” he responded, before he leaned in so close that his lips brushed against the edges of Sydney’s ear. “Are the kids allergic to or scared of horses?”
The heat of Marco’s breath and the graze of his mouth caused her to answer in a breathless, “No.”
When he straightened back up, the smile he wore was from ear to ear.
“Why?”
“It’s a surprise.” He placed a quick kiss on her forehead and joined the kids for breakfast. They both grilled him on where he’d been and what he’d been doing. He answered each of their questions with patience and humor while he filled his own plate.
Sydney rinsed the pan she’d used to cook and then took a seat. Marco set the plate he’d filled down in front of her and passed her the syrup and butter.
“Thank you,” she said as she reminded herself not to get used to this.
Soon she would return to her regularly scheduled programming. This was not real life, no matter how bad she wished it was.
*
Marco leaned back against the couch cushions as he ran his fingers through Sydney’s hair. She was resting her head on his lap while they watched a movie. He was exhausted but happier than he could remember being, maybe ever. Today hadn’t been what he’d expected.
After finding out that Devon was unable to secure a rental car, her friends had offered to drive her to Hope Falls after they fulfilled their obligations for the retreat. The women were going to make a road trip out of it and would be here in the morning.
As soon as Marco heard that they had the entire day, he knew he wanted to show the kids, Sydney, and Pops all that Hope Falls had to offer. So, they’d started with a pony ride (for the kids, anyway) at Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures. They’d gone for lunch at Sue Ann’s, and then they stopped by the station so Pauly could see the firetruck. They’d finished off with ice cream at Two Scoops and a round of mini-golf.
Pops was loving his new motorized scooter. It gave him more support, mobility, and independence. He zoomed around and even napped in it. And the kids took turns riding on it when they got tired of walking.
In his wildest dreams, he would never have guessed how much energy kids could have. They were like the Energizer bunny. They kept going and going and going. He wished he had half the energy that they did. Isabella did crash for a little bit. She made it to the second hole in mini golf before asking if Marco would carry her. He ended up playing with one arm while she napped on his shoulder. But as soon as she woke up, she was full-steam ahead.
Marco considered himself to be in decent shape, but muscles he’d never known he had were sore. His neck, back, even his calves were all tender. He would never have imagined there was so much bending and lifting in childcare.
After putting the kids to bed, he and Sydney had decided to watch a movie. Her head was resting in his lap, and he was running his fingers through her hair while George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon all plotted their heist in Ocean’s Eleven. It was the perfect end to the perfect day.
Beside him, his phone buzzed, and he grabbed it. It was a text from his mom. She’d been sending him daily updates and pictures from all of the places that she’d visited. He’d skimmed most of them, but one thing he noticed in every single shot was how happy she was. He’d always considered his mom a happy person, but since Leonard had come into her life, she radiated. He would forever be grateful to Leonard for bringing so much joy into her life.
He scrolled through the newest batch of photos from Paris and was just about to send her his usual reply but reconsidered when he remembered the pictures that they’d taken today. He figured she’d like to see Pops mini golfing in his new chair. He tapped on his photos, and started to scroll through them. He noticed a pic of Sydney helping Isabella onto the pony. There were quite a few at the stables. And even more at the fire station and the ice cream shop.
He saw one that Pops had taken of the kids giving Marco and Sydney bunny ears and he cracked up. Isabella must not have understood which fingers to use because she was flipping the bird. “Did you see this picture?”
He held the phone down in front of her, and when she didn’t respond, he leaned forward and saw that she was sound asleep. So sound asleep that there was even a little drool on the corner of her lips. She looked so adorable and peaceful. Not able to resist, he snapped a picture before setting it back on the end table.
Lifting the remote, he flicked off the television. Then, as gently as possible, he scooted out from beneath her. When he was on his feet, he stared down at Sydney and was hit with a wave of panic. Next week at this time, she’d be gone. But so would he. He’d be on the field exercise. And that was the point.
It would be selfish and unfair to ask Sydney to commit to him, to a relationship, when he wouldn’t be around.
What kind of an asshole would ask that of someone?
And Sydney wasn’t just someone. She was his best friend, and she’d gone through so much already. He appreciated all she did even more now that he’d experienced just a small amount of her responsibilities. She deserved a man that would be there for her and support her. She deserved a man that could offer her the world and more.
He bent his knees and slid his arms beneath her and cradled her against him as he straightened. Her arms wrapped around him and she shifted so that her face was nestled against his shoulder.
Glancing down, he checked to see if she was awake but found her eyes were still closed. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and carried her up to his room and laid her down next to Isabella. He grabbed the throw blanket at the end of the bed and covered her up.
Leaning down, he gave her one more kiss on the forehead and whispered, “I love you.”
He might not be able to say those words while she was conscious but it felt good to say them out loud. Even if she didn’t hear them.