November 2011
On my drive home from work, a lot weighs on my mind. I want to ask Mia how she feels about a possible career shift, but I’m nervous about her reaction. This would be a big leap for not only me, but for our whole family, and I haven’t been taking that lightly. Aubrey and Mia are my biggest priorities, so if she doesn’t want to do this, then I won’t. I’d never do anything to jeopardize our relationship or break up our family. Still, it’s something I want to pursue, so I can only hope she’ll support me through it.
When I walk through the door, the sweet sounds of Aubrey’s squeals and Mia’s laughs meet my ears. I love coming home to them. “Hey, babe,” I greet when I enter the living room.
Her face lights up as she looks at our daughter. “Daddy’s home!”
“Dadadadada!” she yells as she crawls as fast as her uncoordinated, chubby little legs will carry her. As soon as she reaches me, I scoop her up and kiss all over her cheeks.
“Did you miss Daddy?” I ask as I look into eyes that are mirror images of her mother’s. Her only response is to grab my face. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Walking farther into the room, Mia gets up off the floor. “How was your day?” Leaning down, I give her a kiss.
“Good. She took a long nap, so she’s in a pleasant mood.” Mia wanted to take some time off from the news station to stay home with Aubrey for the first year. I told her I’d be fine with whatever she decided. Plus, I kinda like having her home.
I help Mia in the kitchen to get dinner ready. Once we’re seated, I decide to come on out and ask her. “So, I need to talk to you about something I’ve been thinking about a lot.”
She finishes chewing her food before replying. “Okay? What’s up?”
“I’ve been looking into the smokejumper course.” I push the food around my plate, waiting for her to fire off her questions.
“What’s that?” Judging by the hesitation in her voice, I know she has her reservations already.
“You know those wildfires you see on the news out west?” She nods slowly. “Sometimes when they start in remote locations, they’ll send in a team to stop it before it spreads to residential areas.”
She squints her eyes at me. “Why do I feel like there’s more to it than that?” Sometimes I hate that she can read me so well.
I rub the back of my neck. “Uh, yeah, there is more to it. The team jumps into the forest from a plane.”
She blinks a few times but remains emotionless. I can see the moment it all clicks into place because her eyes widen as she leans forward. “What? Why would you want to do that?” Truth is, I crave the excitement. I like doing things that most can’t or won’t, but I’m not sure she’ll understand that. “Why, Blake?” she presses when I don’t answer. “Why do you do this to me? Your job isn’t dangerous enough, so you want to add falling from the sky to it? News flash Blake: you’re not a damn bird!”
“They’ll give me wings,” I reply with a hint of sarcasm. When all she does is arch an eyebrow, I try to explain. “I want to be the best and be part of the elite. I like a challenge knowing I can achieve it.”
She rolls her eyes. “You won’t even get on rollercoasters anymore and you’re going to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?”
“That was a low blow,” I deadpan, my face expressionless.
The climb to the top of this hill is excruciating. Each tick up I think my heart is about to explode. My breaths are rapid and I can hear my pulse in my ears. Shit, I don’t want to do this. Mia wanted to be in the very front, and now I could kill her for it because I have an up close view of my death. We’re inching up until I can’t see any more track in front of us, and I know we’re about to plunge down this thing like a bat out of hell.
“Here we go!” she exclaims. Her arms go up as she waits for the drop, but I have a white-knuckled grip on this bar.
We slowly come over the top, then fall. And fall. And fall. Right when I’m sure we’re going to hit the ground, the ride evens itself back out before going up a small hill and banking hard to the left. We’re almost completely upside down as we come around this curve and I swear we’re going to fall out. I squeeze my eyes shut so I can’t see the end of my life coming.
“Put your arms up!” Mia yells at me, the rush of the wind making it hard to hear her. With my eyes still squeezed shut, I shake my head rapidly.
After enough drops and spins and rolls to make me dizzy, it finally ends and we come to a stop. I say a silent prayer thanking God for letting me survive.
Mia springs up once the lap bar opens, ready for more. “That was awesome! Wasn’t that fun?”
My head turns slowly toward her, a less than enthusiastic look on my face. “Stopping. That was the fun part.” On legs that are shaking from adrenaline, I get off the ride and head for the exit.
“Wait, I want to see our picture.” She pulls on my arm as we’re passing the small stand that’s on our way out.
We wait a few minutes before our photo pops up on the screen, and I want to die. Mia is having the time of her life. Her hands are in the air, her mouth is wide open in a smile, and she looks so damn happy. As for me, my eyes are closed, I’m hunched over a little as I brace the bar, and my lips flap open from the wind to expose my clenched teeth.
Mia laughs uncontrollably. “Laugh it up,” I tell her.
She braces herself on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Even though she’s laughing at me, her giggling is contagious and I laugh too. I mean, it is pretty funny. “We have to get it.” She clutches her stomach and has tears in her eyes.
After the man behind the desk prints off our photo, she examines it again, giggling softly to herself.
“Here’s to another first. Our first rollercoaster ride,” she says, holding out the picture like she’s proud of it. My only hope is that she doesn’t hang it anywhere and stuffs it in one of her keepsake boxes or something.
“And last.”
She laughs slightly. “Oh, God, Blake. I just don’t know if I can do it. You know I’m nervous when you’re at work as it is.”
“I know, and if you say no, I’ll drop it. I won’t apply and it gets squashed right now. But can I ask you to at least think about it before you make your decision?” She nods. It’s not a yes, but it’s not a no either.
“Is she finally asleep?” I ask Mia as she comes to bed.
“Yeah.” She lies down with a huff, exhaustion overtaking her body.
“Come here; let me rub your back.” I scoot against the headboard and she sits between my legs. My hands move over her shoulders and rub out the knots as they continue up to her neck and then back to where they started.
“Mmmm, that feels good,” she says on a moan. Some people might overlook the hard work she does at home, but I don’t. She takes care of things at home while I’m off at work. Aubrey is happy, healthy, and smart because of her. I’d be lost without Mia.
“How was work?” she asks. This is really the only time we have to relax and talk. When Aubrey is awake, our lives revolve around her. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s important for Mia and I to make time for each other to help us stay connected. It’s not easy when all we want to do is collapse into bed and sleep, but we make the effort.
“Pretty uneventful. We had a lady come in wanting her car seat installed, but other than that, I just sat around.”
“Uneventful is good,” she reminds me.
“Yep.” My hands run the length of her spine, stopping to rub her lower back.
“So,” she says in a relaxed tone. “I thought about what you asked, and if it’s something you really want to do, then I support it.”
My hands freeze. “Really?” I can’t keep the excitement out of my voice. I honestly thought she’d say no.
“I kind of googled what they did, and it said that you’re only on during certain times of the year anyway.”
“Exactly. It would be roughly six months, mostly during the summer months, unless I was a permanent employee and not seasonal. Since I’m new, chances of me getting a year-long position are slim to none. And that’s if I get selected at all. I might not even make the cut.”
She turns around and sits on her knees while facing me. “I have no doubts you’ll make it. When have you ever gone after something and not gotten it?” She gives me a knowing look, referring to herself.
“Yeah, well I want you to know as much info as possible before you give the okay.” She nods so I continue. “Summers will be crazy and my days will be long. If there’s a large fire outside my base state, I might be required to travel out of town to help out with it.”
“What would you be doing during the off season?”
“I don’t know yet honestly. I was hoping to work for another department, but I don’t know if they’d let me leave every summer. I’d need to have a plan before we moved.” I wait for her to hear the last part.
Her eyes widen slightly. “Move?”
Nodding my head slowly, I study her expression. “We’d have to move where the fires are. Redding, California would be my first choice, but we could be in Oregon, Montana, hell, even Alaska.”
Her expression drops. “I’m sorry, babe, but I can’t do Alaska.” She looks horrified at the thought, making me laugh.
“Okay, but would you be willing to move at all? It’s a big decision, and we’d be far from our family.”
“No, you are my family; you and Aubrey. We’re a team. I go where you go.”
I shake my head in awe. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” Leaning in, I give her a kiss.
“Just not Alaska,” she reiterates against my lips.
“Deal. Not Alaska.”