“Did they tell you?” Sam burst through the door and caught me in his arms, pressing his mouth to mine in a desperate kiss that caused me to drop the potato and peeler I was holding.

“About our little ball-breaker here?” Jasmine replied with a grin that lit up her eyes and face. “Yeah. She’s a natural. I told you all she’d fit in well.”

From the moment we walked in the door, Kristian had started heralding me as the family hero. When I’d returned from my shower, he was still going on. I just wanted to make the potato bake and forget all about it.

Sam released my mouth but not my body, his arm around my waist like we were about to go dancing. “You should’ve seen it, Jazz. He had her by the hair and I charged in there, about to rip his arm off his body. Then this tiny little thing twisted around, elbowed him in the face and kicked him in the balls. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

“Sounds impressive,” Jasmine agreed, a giant smile on her face.

“It was nothing,” I argued.

“You’re a fighter,” Sam stated, pride in his voice. “It’s impressive.”

“Most chicks freak out,” Abbot put in, sticking his head in the fridge on his never-ending quest for food.

“Dinner is in an hour,” Jasmine said.

“I’m hungry now.”

“Then have this.” She picked up a peeled carrot and stuck it in his mouth. He grinned, then bit into it with a crunch. Jasmine shook her head but smiled.

“I need to finish this,” I told Sam, nodding towards the pile of potatoes on the counter.

“I’ll help.” He released me and picked up the items I dropped, rinsing the peeler before he started working on the pile with me.

“I like this domestic side of you,” I said, enjoying doing something more with him than having sex. I mean, I really, really enjoyed the sex, and since we’d only been together for a couple of weeks, that hunger seem to always be there. But it was nice to do something a little more… average. I liked this. I liked being in the kitchen with the noise and the chaos. It was a togetherness I’d never experienced before, and it made me feel like a part of something. This crowded kitchen was far better than all the space I had to myself when I lived on my own. I didn’t miss the solitude for a moment.

Despite being uncomfortable over the events of the afternoon, I couldn’t help but let just a little of the pride they felt over my actions seep in. I wasn’t used to praise. Egos weren’t allowed in my house; only humble, unobtrusive behaviour was tolerated. The fact that I was being applauded for acting in a rash manner was new to me. It made me uncomfortable but happy. Like I wanted to be proud of myself but couldn’t stop thinking I should be ashamed. It was a bit of a conundrum.

When preparations were finished in the kitchen, we all dispersed to get ready for our honoured guests. Family was obviously really important to the Cartwrights, and even though Jasmine seemed disinclined towards Holland, she was willing to pull out all the stops if it meant keeping her son happy. In my eyes, that was love.

Sam couldn’t wait to get me upstairs, undressing me the moment we were through the door. His lips seared against my skin and his hands were everywhere, squeezing and pulling.

“I can’t stop wanting you,” he breathed, picking me up before dropping me on the bed. “I want to be inside you day and night. You drive me insane.” His fingers danced over my naked chest, teasing my puckered nipples.

“Insane?”

“With desire, with want, with need. I can’t get enough.” His mouth joined with mine as his fingers travelled down my body and between my legs, teasing me towards climax. “You amaze me.”

I shook my head, fighting to keep my thoughts at bay while focusing on the moment, on Sam, on what he was doing to me. He was so complimenting, so kind and loving. He’d given me no reason to doubt him, yet I struggled to trust him. I couldn’t just believe the things he said held meaning.

I’m not amazing.

His fingers entered me and his mouth joined in, causing lights to flash behind my eyes while the pressure in my core built to a mind-numbing crescendo.

“Oh!”

Knock, knock. There was no time between the knock and the opening of the door. “They’re only ten minutes—holy fuck. Shit.” Chaos ensued as the door slammed. I scrambled for something to cover myself. Sam yelled for Abbot to fuck off.

On the other side of the door came a bubble of laughter.

“What happened?” Kris asked his cackling twin.

“I just saw Sam’s arsehole. I need to bleach my eyes,” Abbot responded.

“The fuck?” Kristian joined in with his twin’s laughter. “What were they doing?”

Meanwhile, Sam had pulled on a pair of pants and burst out the door before Abbot could explain.

Abbot held up his hands. “I knocked,” he said through his laughter.

Sam grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Don’t ever walk into our room. Ever,” he growled.

“OK, but mate, please tell me you don’t still have a hard-on. Because you’re standing really close.”

That was it for me. I covered my mouth with my hand as my laughter squeaked out and shook my shoulders.

Sam obviously didn’t find it as funny as the rest of us. There was a thud against the wall and guttural laughter from the twins. “Just stay the fuck out,” Sam warned. Then he returned to the room looking more than a little frustrated, raking his hands through his hair. “You OK?”

Grinning, I bit my lip to contain my mirth and nodded. “Come here,” I said, holding out my hand.

“You can’t honestly think that was funny,” he said, coming towards me.

I got up on my knees and let the sheet drop from my body as I called him with my arms. “You have to admit it was a little funny. Terrible timing, but funny.”

“Terrible timing.”

Smiling, I ran my hands up his chest and into his hair, winding myself around him before sucking on his lower lip. “Forget about them. We only have ten minutes.”

A rumble emanated from his chest. “I know this probably isn’t a turn-on, but after today and the state I’m in, I probably only need five.”

I laughed. “Well, lucky you’ve already taken care of me today, twice.”

He grinned. “I do like to spoil my girl.”

“Then give it to me, Sam. Give it to me hard and fast.”

“I love it when you tell me what you want,” he groaned, moments before his mouth crashed into mine and he gave me exactly what I asked for. Hard and fast.

* * *

“They’re here!” I practically squealed in delight when a beat-up Ford Ranger pulled into the driveway. Compared to the other brothers, Nate’s wheels surprised me—they all had new top-of-the-line rides, whereas his looked like it had seen better days.

The moment I spotted Holland getting out of the truck, I barrelled out the door and practically threw myself at her.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered, hugging her as tight as I could. We’d barely gone a day without speaking since we were kids. Two and a half weeks was too long. I had so much I wanted to tell her.

“I’ve missed you too,” she said, pulling back to look into my eyes. “How have you been?” Her tone told me she’d been worried about me, which was funny because I’d been worried about her. It really pained me that we weren’t able to talk to each other all the time. It made the reality of our situation slam into me with full force. Despite how we were being treated, we were essentially prisoners. We couldn’t leave without an escort.

I pressed my lips together and held onto her arms. “I’m OK.”

She let out a gasp as if it pained her to hear that, then pulled me against her soft body and hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. God, what was Nate doing to her? She was beside herself.

Thankfully, Jasmine saw my need for air and interrupted, placing a gentle hand on my back. “Maybe check that the potatoes aren’t burning?” she said, and I nodded and headed back inside, where the twins and Sam were starting to carry things to the outdoor table near where Toby was hovering over the rotisserie that had a half lamb on it. I’d thought that was far too much meat at first, but after seeing the way these men put away their meals, I worried that it may not be enough.

“How was the reception?” Sam asked, pausing when he saw me and nodding to where I’d come from. “Frosty?”

“A little,” I said with a shrug. “I only caught the beginning of it. Nate hadn’t spoken, Holland seemed nervous and Jasmine was being superhostess.”

“Sounds about right. Always the prodigal son.” He shook his head and walked away, his hands full of wine glasses.

With the kitchen to myself for five minutes, I pulled the oven door open, the scent of the creamy cheesy potatoes making my stomach growl. This was always one of Holland’s favourites. Her aunty made a roast lamb with potatoes au gratin and vegetables every Sunday in winter, and I would score myself an invite as often as I was allowed. She would always let me have seconds, constantly trying to ‘fatten me up’.

Using a fork to test that it was cooked all the way through, I decided it was ready to come out of the oven and grabbed the oven mitts to help me handle the huge tray.

“Let me do that.” Kris came rushing to my side and took over manoeuvring the heavy pan to the bench to cool. “Smells amazing.”

“Thanks. You think I made enough for everyone? This was the biggest tray I could find.”

“Probably not.” He laughed. “I could eat that whole thing on my own. I’m drooling from the smell.”

“Well, you have to share.” I gave him a stern look that was mostly teasing.

“Toby says the lamb is good to go. We just need a tray to slice it into,” Abbot said, sticking his head into the kitchen.

“I’ll bring one,” I said, looking back to Kris. “Can you carry the potatoes out?”

“Sure thing, boss.” He winked and disappeared with the food with the ease of a dancer. I really needed to get stronger; my arms were screaming after all the paddling I’d done today.

Heading out with the tray, I heard Jasmine’s voice coming down the hall. “It’s not every day a woman with five sons gets to entertain two daughters.” She seemed genuinely pleased about the situation, and I smiled to myself before heading out through the sliding doors to give Toby the tray. As he was piling on sliced lamb, Nate and Holland came out to the table, and the other three brothers greeted them with hugs and cheek kisses. It was a big family reunion.

“You’re not going over there to say hi?” I asked when Toby glanced up but went back to carving and stacking meat.

He said nothing at first, just looked over again. “I’ll talk to him later.”

This was a different Toby. He’d gone all stiff since they’d arrived, and I wondered what was going on between him and Nate besides the obvious. “Do you have something against Holland?” I wondered if that’s where his irritation stemmed. He might harbour the same feelings towards her as Jasmine did.

“No.” He shook his head. “I just think Nate should’ve left her alone.”

“I guess he did take the game a bit too far. But then so did she.”

He looked at me. “Maybe. But everyone else got caught in the middle. Including you.”

I shrugged. “I’m OK,” I said, uncomfortable from yet another reminder that my position in this family didn’t occur naturally.

“Why don’t you take that tray over while I finish up,” he said, nodding towards the meat.

I made it about four steps before Sam jogged over and relieved me of the weight. “I prefer peaches, but lamb is good too.” He winked and I blushed. We took our seats around the table and the meal took on a life of its own, as they frequently did in this house. I loved the camaraderie, the way the men joked around and Jasmine was always trying to stop them like they were still teenagers. Men clearly never grow up.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, although I noticed that Holland was a little on the quiet side, which was strange because large groups of people were normally her element, and I wanted to share this with her. It was the big noisy family we’d always dreamed of being a part of, but she seemed lost and eager to leave.

When he’d finished eating, Sam’s arm slipped around the back of my chair, his fingers playing with the bare skin at my shoulder as he whispered in my ear. “When this is over, I want to take you upstairs and barricade the door shut so I can spend the rest of the night eating you uninterrupted.”

My body reacted instantly, and I pressed my knees together to calm the throb.

“Promise?” I whispered, cheeks flaming as I watched his slow nod. I almost jumped out of my skin when Jasmine addressed me.

“The potatoes were delicious, Alesha,” she said. “We’ll have to add them to our usual rotation. There isn’t a scrap left.”

“Thank you,” I said a little breathlessly when Sam’s other hand landed on my thigh and began moving up. I grinned at him and shook my head almost unperceptively. “Down, boy.”

He grinned, then nipped lightly at the skin below my ear. When he moved his hand to a safer position, I glanced around the table to make sure we weren’t being too obvious. Everyone seemed unaware. Nate had his arm around Holland and was busy talking to Kris and Abbot about the swell he’d seen from his beach house. Jasmine was happy listening, and Toby was sitting quietly down the end of the table, sneaking scraps of lamb to his Boston terrier. I waited until Holland looked my way, then smiled.

“Will you ladies excuse us for a while?” Jasmine asked when the conversation lulled. “My sons and I have some business we need to discuss.”

I glanced at Sam and he nodded, patting me on the thigh before I stood up and started clearing the plates to be of help. Holland stood and did the same, but then Nate grabbed her wrist and shook his head. I frowned and looked at Sam, alarmed. He gave me a look that said ‘don’t interfere’, but I didn’t like what I was seeing.

“You aren’t a servant,” Nate told her.

“Neither is she,” Holland objected, indicating me.

Releasing his breath, Nate nodded, then stood and helped clear. My entire body relaxed. Perhaps I read the situation wrong.

“The girls can get that, darling,” Jasmine told Nate.

He just kept cleaning. “It’ll be faster if we all pitch in. Once all this is clean, we’ll talk business. I didn’t bring my wife here so she could clean our mess.”

Wow. I didn’t see a problem with clearing a table to help out while they all talked. Better to get it done now than leave it to later when we were all tired. Besides, it would give me something to do while Holland and I caught up. We didn’t exactly have Netflix here, so it wasn’t like we could talk shows like we normally did.

“Come on, peaches,” Sam said, taking the stack of plates I was holding. “We’ll get this done, and then you and your friend can hang out for a bit.” He kissed my nose and we all carried everything back to where it came from.

Once everything was right again, Nate handed Holland a couple of drinks, and she and I went to the living room while the brothers and Jasmine went back outside. Sam gave me a wink just before he exited. He made my heart beat ridiculously hard.

Holland still seemed nervous, even though we were alone. She was freaking me out. Had Nate been treating her all right?

“Are you OK?” I asked in a hushed tone as we took a seat on the dark grey leather couch. It was super soft and worn in from countless bodies draping themselves over it. “I’ve been worried sick about you since the wedding. He hasn’t hurt you, has he?” I grabbed her arms and inspected her for bruising. She seemed fine. Why was she acting so cagey?

“I’m fine,” Holland said with a laugh, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Why would you worry about me? I’m the one worried about you.”

“Me? No, I’m great.” I wasn’t the one shacking up with a guy who gave his little brothers a beatdown and then threatened his mother with the same. “I love it here.” Love was probably too strong a word, and I didn’t really know why I was selling it so hard, but she’d walked in there acting as though she felt sorry for me from the get-go. I wasn’t to be pitied. “I mean, it gets a bit much sometimes having so many people around, and I admit to being a little homesick and bored hanging around the house all the time. But Sam is amazing whenever we’re together, and I can pretty much do whatever I want the rest of the time. Kristian is teaching me to surf. Jasmine is teaching me to cook. I’m pretty much perfect.” Perfect. Sure. That’s what I was.

“So you’re living here? Not at Sam’s?”

“Sam’s?”

“Nate said they all had their own places.”

“Nate and Toby are the only ones living on their own. But Toby is here a lot.” Toby owned an old boat he enjoyed doing up, and I’d heard him mention a property in passing, but I was fairly sure he was looking at renting it out.

“And you’re happy living with them all?”

I shrugged. “I like the noise and the company.” That part was true. I never felt lonely in the Cartwright house.

She frowned like I’d just given her the wrong answer. “Wow. So I imagined all the discomfort out there?”

“Discomfort?” What the hell? Did she want me to be miserable? She seemed disappointed that I wasn’t.

“Yeah, between you and Jasmine, and Toby.”

“Toby?” Was she taking drugs? “He’s a pussycat.”

“Are you sure about that?” She looked at me like she didn’t believe me, and honestly it ticked me off. It wasn’t OK for her to push her misery on me. She’d put us in this position, and I was making the most of what life had presented me. I didn’t need her poking and prodding and looking for holes. She was supposed to be supportive, the one person in my life I could always count on to understand.

“I’ve just been worried sick about you,” I assured her. “After our wedding, Nate went crazy on Kris and Abbot. Kris had a split lip, and Abbot could barely see out of one eye for a whole week. And I saw him yelling at Jasmine.” Maybe she’d change her tune if she knew what I’d seen. “Lord, Holl, I was so scared. I thought he was going to hit her.”

Her eye twitched. “Did he?”

“No, but he threatened to, held his hand up like he was going to backhand her the same way she did to you. And I thought, ‘God help Holland if that’s the kind of temper that man has.’”

She shook her head like I was talking crazy. “He doesn’t have a temper, Leesh. He was angry because Jasmine hit me and the twins covered for her. I really don’t think he would hit his own mother.”

That wasn’t how it looked to me. “So you’re OK?” I wasn’t convinced. She wasn’t acting like herself.

“More than OK. I’m ridiculously happy. I’m in love with him.” This massive goofy-looking smile took over her face.

She’s in love with him? Of course she is. Holland always gets the best of everything. Well, I think I did OK out of this too.

“You do? That’s such a relief.” I forced a wide smile. “We got real lucky with these guys, Holl. I reckon someone was watching over us.”

She nodded. “My parents, perhaps.”

She always makes everything about her. The thought popped into my head unbidden, my inner voice managing to reveal the underlying cause of my reaction.

I smiled again. Two could play that game. “Or maybe God. Or my mum if she’s up there. Lord knows I’ve prayed enough for a man to whisk me away from my crappy life.” It was true, I had, but I’d forgotten to stipulate his criminal status.

“I want the fairy tale,” Holland quoted in the worst Julia Roberts impression I’d ever heard.

It was strange, but as I sat there with the only friend I’d ever really had, talking about a massive life change we’d both experienced, my mind kept flashing back to the moment I fell in the mud and Holland had chosen to laugh at me instead of help. I could see her in her wedding dress, pointing at me and laughing like it was a video on repeat in my head. It was the opening scene to a highlight reel of our friendship, where I was always the awkward joke and she was always the star. Had that been why she was friends with me, because I made her look better? I’d thought we’d been friends because we’d both struggled with loss and we liked the same things. Except we didn’t like the same things. I didn’t even like Pretty Woman. I thought it glorified the objectification of women.

Why was I only just realising this? Ever since Holland had met Nate, she’d done one selfish thing after another. And when she fucked up, I was the one who stepped in and picked her up. Now she was looking at me like I got the raw end of the deal? I didn’t. I got a good man who thought I was beautiful and a family who actually wanted me around, never making me feel inadequate. I won the fucking forced marriage lottery.

She wanted the fairy tale? Well, I was living it. “As far as men go, it seems we got exactly that.” I squared my shoulders with pride. Becoming indignant really made all that doubt I normally battled with slip away. Suddenly I was very sure of my position in this house. I was Peaches. I was a Cartwright.

She doesn’t get to feel sorry for you anymore.

“Yes.” She frowned and then nodded towards the back of the house. “But what about the rest of it? Their… business activities?”

I shrugged her question off. She was so hung up on how they made their living. She needed to let it go, because they weren’t going to quit any of it for her sake.

“I try not to think about it. The less we know the better, right? That’s how mob guys protect their wives.”

She smiled. “You watch far too many movies.”

“Up until now, they’ve been better than my life.” My life was definitely way more exciting now. I’d never had to take out a car thief before.

She gave me another pitiful look. Has she always done this? “You said you’re a little homesick. Have you gone to visit your dad?”

That got me. My father’s rejection was a sore point, and I had to blink a couple of times to straighten my thoughts. He lived next door to her aunt, so there was no point in lying. If I just stuck to the facts, we could move on. “We went to visit when we got back and he lost it. He’s angry with me for getting married without him, and especially because I didn’t get married in a church to a good Catholic boy.”

“I’m sorry, Leesh.”

“Ugh.” I shrugged. “He was never going to like anyone I brought home. I always expected something like this to happen.”

“He’ll come around,” she said, patting my leg condescendingly.

“We’ll see,” I said with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulder. Then I adjusted on the couch, wanting to change the conversation to something, anything else except my quarrel with my father. I smiled when the perfect topic hit me. “Tell me about Nate. I want to know everything about him.”

Unable to resist talking about herself, her face lit up and she tossed her head back. Then she paused and did something out of character. She asked about me.

“How about you tell me all about Sam. Start with the moment you locked eyes, and don’t leave out a thing.”

Have I been judging her too harshly? It was possible that my defensiveness over the way she perceived my marriage had made me second-guess the most constant relationship I’d had in my life. I felt awful and almost wanted to ask her for her forgiveness. I took her hands and said, “Oh, Holland, he’s wonderful.” Shed responded with “So is Nate,” and from that point on, we continued to talk about her and how wonderful her new life was.

By the time she left, I wasn’t feeling sorry at all. I felt slighted. Again.

* * *

“You seem quiet. Everything OK?” Sam walked up behind me and took the brush from my hand, standing behind me and working it through my thick hair. I watched him in the bathroom mirror, his handsome face concentrated on each languid stroke. God, that feels nice.

“I’m OK.” I sighed. “Just tired.”

Nate and Holland had left only half an hour before, and I was drained. She went on and on about Nate’s virtues and how he was building her a ladder—why?—and that he was a wonderful cook, delivered as if she thought my husband didn’t cook at all. I was really happy for her, truly I was, but I couldn’t help feeling put out, dragged down. I had stuff going on in my life too, had found happiness that I wanted to share. I’d been missing her so much over the past weeks, and when we finally got the change to talk, I barely got a word in.

Had I always been the supporting role on the Holland show? And why did I not see or object to it until now?

“You didn’t enjoy hanging with your friend?” Sam’s hands felt amazing as he ran the brush through my shoulder-length locks. There was nothing more relaxing than having someone play with your hair.

“It was OK. Things are just different now, I guess.”

“Because you aren’t single and living in each other’s pockets anymore?”

“I suppose. But I think I’m starting to see some things a little more clearly.”

“Like what?”

I turned to face him and leaned my butt against the vanity. “You know what I keep replaying in my mind?”

He shrugged and placed my brush in the holder next to the mirror.

“Our wedding. More importantly the moment I fell in the mud.”

“I was drunk but yes, I remember.”

“She pointed and laughed.”

He kept his features even except for a light furrow between his brows. “Are you upset by her laughter or the mud fight that followed?”

“Her laughter. She’s my best friend. Why didn’t she help me up? She should’ve waited for my reaction before turning it into something else.”

He nodded a little, his eyes looking a little faraway and thoughtful before they landed back on mine. “Did you tell her that?”

“No. I just kept sitting there thinking about all the times she dominated the spotlight, and I realised it was all the time. I was nothing more than her sidekick. It’s always been about her. You know, when were in year five, she watched Strictly Ballroom and decided her destiny was to be a ballroom dancer. So to prove her point, she entered us in this talent quest and convinced me to dance the male part. She got up there in this beautiful sparkly feather-edged dress and I got up in a coat and tails with my hair slicked back. People called me Alan for weeks. And to make things worse, she tried to do this move where I caught her, and we tumbled off the stage and I sprained my wrist.” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I keep looking back on my life, and every time I got into trouble, or felt humiliated or out of my depth was when I was with Holland. Why did I ever agree to do any of those things with her?”

He caught me around the waist. “Because you’re a good person, and you’ve obviously been a great friend.”

“I’ve been an amazing friend.”

“I think you’re an amazing wife.”

I pressed my lips together, frowning. “You’re just saying that because you want to get in my pants.”

His full lips curved wickedly. “I don’t need to say anything to get in your pants, I just need to touch you like this.” He lowered his hands to the curve of my butt and squeezed. “And pull you real close like this.” He held me so every curve of my body was pressed tight against the hard plains of his. “Then do a little….” He placed his lips against the base of my jaw, his breath washing over me as he spoke, lightly kissing the sensitive flesh.

I grabbed his giant biceps and gasped. “Yes,” I moaned, really enjoying the subject change.

“But if I did all that, I’d be a pretty shitty husband since you obviously need to talk through everything that’s troubling you.” He was taunting me, I could tell that much. No man understood the inner workings of the female mind, just as we didn’t understand theirs. But I knew a distraction technique when I saw it, and I remembered something about feasting on my body behind a barricaded door being mentioned at dinner. I wanted that more than I wanted to dwell on my angst-filled thoughts, just as I knew he wanted that more than he wanted to listen to said thoughts.

“No,” I whimpered as he pulled away. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck to anchor myself to him. “No talking. I’ve had enough talking.”

He grinned. “Hmm, lucky I already barricaded the door, then.”

Hmmm, maybe I was beginning to understand the inner workings of his mind because I totally called it. “Make me scream, Sam.”

“It would be my absolute pleasure.”