Present Day…

Life was going to get better, I had to believe that. Things over the last year, if not the last several years, had been very rough. Change was good and already happening. Maybe not in the areas of my life that I needed it the most, but it was at least something.

The things I told myself in the mirror every day were positive. You survived. You endured. You can get through anything at this point. And I truly believed that I could. I had to believe I was due for something better.

Wanting more for myself wasn’t selfish, it was a step in the right direction. The problem, or the hard part, like most things, was finding the way to get there.

Today was a new day, and my last day working at Muse. It was bittersweet in a way; I'd miss this place. But things had really changed over the past few months, including a new manager, who I didn’t especially like, and the feeling was mutual.

I was at least cutting that frustrating element out of my life at the end of my shift. The next big thing to tackle, would be tomorrow and I wasn’t sure what to expect.

If it wasn’t for the paycheck that was providing the last bit of money I needed to move, I would have quit eight months ago.

I could remember when I was satisfied with what I was doing. I’d been happy to walk through the front door of Muse and work an entire shift with or without good tips. But the last few months, had been tiring in more ways than one. It was funny, how the heart breaking into a thousand pieces, could wear you down and make you feel even more tired than you already were.

First my dad died, and then Cade.

It was tough when my dad passed, even though we hadn’t been close in a few years. Cade had been sympathetic when we talked about it. That was right before he’d left, and I was grateful for our discussion.

Cade dying, though. That nearly broke me.

It's been months since he’s been gone. No more smiles, or glances. No more teasing barbs thrown at each other during a dinner rush. Without him, there was nothing holding me here.

He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. I was over it. At least that’s what I told myself in the mirror every morning. It’s what I told everyone that even bothered to ask. They didn’t know how much it had crushed me to hear the news.

Olivia had known, and that was enough some days. Her husband, and the men that worked for him, including Cade, always had a lunch meeting once a month at Muse. I didn’t know the rest of them well, but I knew enough about them through their wives, who I’d become closer to over the months.

Cade had to have known I liked him. But I wondered some days, if he’d just assumed that my sass came naturally. It did, and it didn’t. Call it a reflex, a quirk, whatever. I wasn’t sure where it all came from myself, but he always brought it out.

After working for him a while, I’d ran through all the excuses that he might have used not to ask me out. Thinking back on it now, maybe I should have asked him outright, just to see where things might have gone. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have died.

Thinking that he might not have been in Colorado at all, if I’d made a move at some point, was wishful thinking. For months, I felt like there was something I could have done.

I kept thinking about what he’d done, or what I was told. He’d been shot while trying to protect Logan and Kate, from a crazed man in the mountains that was bent on killing Kate. It was an insane situation, which put them face to face with a killer. Cade had sacrificed his life, so that Logan, Kate, and their unborn children could live.

Was that my brain being over it? Coping? Who the hell knew? Today, though, I would say goodbye to this place, and the memory of him.

I hefted a large tray onto my shoulder and carried it out of the kitchen. It was a good thing that I kept in shape now, otherwise it might not have been possible.

Months ago, out of the need for a distraction, I’d joined a gym. At first, it seemed like the weight machines were out to kill me.

There was the incident with the treadmill first, that I nearly fell off, when I hit the accelerate after ten minutes instead of stop. Then there was the stepper that I nearly got tangled in, because I was paying too much attention to the man’s butt on the stepper in front of me, rather than on my footing.

That particular incident, had bitten me in the rear in more ways than one. The man’s ass, had turned into a very attractive, distracting asshole, named David that I’d dated for two months. Who got me interested in doing weights with him. And although he was an asshole, I was glad that I’d been introduced to those exercises.

They sucked. No lie. I went home several nights thinking that I would give up and go right back to a less strenuous routine. After those first few visits, the only thing I wanted to lift was the remote control and a glass of wine.

The problem with that, was the wine never seemed to drown out my thoughts, even though it helped me sleep. Then when the workout routine started, all I wanted to do when I got home was eat and pass out.

I may have slept fitfully at first, but as time passed, my nights became a lot more restful. I was thankful for the mental and emotional break. The added bonus, was that I was now in the best shape of my life.

Considering I’d always been a bigger girl, it was definite progress. I still had my hips and ass, but I felt like everything was a little tighter and slimmer day by day.

I delivered the food I was carrying to a table full of suits. They all seemed the same now. Working a year or more in one place, where the clientele was mainly the business type, they tended to blur together.

I smiled at the group and chatted with them for a moment. One thing I liked about waitressing, was the ability to meet all kinds of new people. Everyone always had a different story, and each one was somewhat unique.

“Suzanne!” a familiar voice called from the direction of the bar.

I grabbed my tray, and checked on everyone one last time, before I walked away from their table. I headed toward the bar and saw my manager with his favorite clipboard. I could only wonder what he was furiously writing on it.

The man was good with numbers, but he was an idiot when it came to human interaction. He would have been better at managing a pile of rocks. I knew the place needed some help at one point, but I often wondered why the owner, Aiden Latimer, had decided to hire him from outside the company. From what I knew, he'd managed a small restaurant on the other side of the city for about a year. Which wasn’t much experience, coming into one of Lakefield’s most high-profile hotspots for dining. But what did I know? I didn’t make the big bucks to make that type of decision.

I approached him and leaned against the bar, waiting for him to acknowledge my presence. When I glanced over at our bartender, Pete, he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Richard,” I said in acknowledgement. He preferred to be called, “Rick” but the staff in some silent agreement, had never called him that. I don’t remember who started the “I hate Richard” campaign, but we'd been using his formal name since week one. Mainly since Rick, rhymed with Dick, and there were just too many times we all wanted to call him that.

He was serious when he faced me, which seemed to be the only expression he wore on his hard face.

He really did look like a Richard. Extremely short hair that was never less than perfectly trimmed, oval glasses, a nose that was too small and thin for his face. He wasn’t built by any means, but he had bulk. He was naturally tall and slouched a lot. To me, he was average, if not a little dopey, and his constant disapproving expression implied a sour personality.

I always wondered if he was naturally prone to sickness, or whether he just wanted to get out of anything remotely resembling work. He seemed to be gone nearly every time we were short staffed, or had major events going on.

He was nice enough, for a boss, just lazy as hell with a shitty attitude.

Richard cleared his throat.

“You okay? Hope you’re not coming down with a cold.”

He gave me a frown. “Ahh, no. Mr. Latimer called and said his wife was coming in today. He requested that you wait on her.”

What was this, a fiefdom? I would, of course, be thrilled to see Liv, but it was the way he said it that made my skin crawl. Wait on her like she was royalty? If he only knew how much she cussed, he might change his mind.

“Of course, but I’m leaving at six. Last day and all,” I said with a straight face. It was hard, since I really just wanted to tell him to bite me.

He glanced at me, then frowned down at his clipboard again and started flipping pages.

“I don’t recall seeing that on my calendar. I have you on three shifts for the weekend.”

I rolled my eyes. “I know. Don’t worry they’re covered. I gave my notice two weeks ago, right after that party of twelve incident where you dropped a tray on the mayor.”

His cheeks flushed. “I—it was loaded wrong. Too heavy on one side. I don’t remember talking to you about it.”

“I gave you the notice before I left. Anyway, I’m leaving after my shift. What time is Olivia going to be here?”

Still appearing embarrassed, he sniffed and straightened his shoulders. “Mrs. Latimer will be arriving shortly. Since you aren’t giving me much notice on your resignation, I can’t promise a referral.”

I chuckled. “Okay, that’s fine. If you want, I can take off right now.”

“No,” he answered quickly, looking stern. “Mrs. Latimer specifically asked for you. At least stay for that.”

I smirked at him. “Sure thing, boss.”

Getting a referral from him wasn’t necessary. I already had a job lined up at a new bar that just opened near my hometown of Bakersville. I was looking forward to it and didn’t need his help in securing the position.

My mother was happy I was going to be living closer to her. The only thing I was waiting on was my apartment, and it would be ready within the next month. She’d been lonely ever since my father died last year, and the move should have happened much sooner.

She seemed okay with things, but I could tell with every phone call, that she wasn’t dealing with it as well as she said. And there was something going on with her that I couldn’t pinpoint. She had problems that we both worked through, but lately she’d been different.

Richard walked away with a confused grimace on his face, head still bent toward his clipboard. If the damn thing ever went missing, he would probably break down into a fit of crying and thumb-sucking.

Pete wandered back over to my end of the bar after he left, and I set my tray up on the counter. He leaned over it and put his hands on the counter as he watched our boss walk away.

“You owe me twenty.”

I dug in my pocket and slapped it on the bar. “I think he got a new calendar. He saw that damn resignation.”

Pete took the bill, while smiling, and held it up so that one of the other servers could see. He’d bet me earlier in the week that Richard was going to either demand that I stay on, or act like he hadn’t gotten the notice.

He gave me a wink. “Sure you don’t want to go out on a date with me before you leave? Apparently, I’ve just won the lotto.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “The answer is still no.”

He gave me a dramatic pout. “Heartbreaker.”

Pete had been asking me out for months. The answer was always no. It wasn’t that he was bad looking. He was quite the opposite. Muscles, short cropped hair, and a flirtatious smile on a handsome face. He just wasn’t the person I wanted to be with.

Fuck. I had to stop thinking about it.

Olivia came through the door with her bodyguard, John, just in the nick of time.

Shrugging at him, I stepped back. “I’m sure you’ll find someone to take out with that twenty. Hope she’s a cheap date.”

He studied me for a moment then laughed. “Seriously. It isn’t going to be the same around here.”

“Thanks, Pete,” I said, and walked across the room to greet Olivia.

She was being seated in her usual spot, and John took up his familiar position to the right of the table. He gave me a chin lift when he saw me.

“Hey, John,” I greeted him and moved to the table.

Olivia looked up and gave me a huge smile. “Suzanne!”

I slid into the seat opposite of hers and gave her a smirk. “Just John today? I’m surprised the armada didn’t show up with you.”

“Holy shit, I know. Aiden was busy when I left, otherwise they would have been here. So, are you leaving today?”

I nodded. “Yeah, today’s the day. My manager apparently didn’t get the note or didn’t read the note. One of the two.”

Liv craned her neck around, looking for him. “He’s so weird. Serious crackpot. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was in one of those secret cults. The type that hack up chickens and bathe in their blood.”

I laughed. “Where do you get this stuff?”

Her expression was serious as John rolled his eyes over her shoulder.

“I read about it in a book just last week. There's fucking weirdos everywhere. You have to be careful. He looks like a prime candidate for live sacrifices.”

“Well, he’s not that great of a manager and he’s not particularly pleasant, but I can safely tell you that I haven’t seen anything weird other than changing his clothes twice a day.”

She considered that, like she was trying to come up with a list of reasons he might fit any number of other psychotic groups of people.

“Stop thinking about it or I’ll call Julia to come pick you up.”

She grinned at me. “You know she would too.”

“So, what can I get you today, Liv?”

She shrugged and smiled. “To be honest, I just came to see you. I was hoping that you might change your mind and stick around here.”

“Well, my mom—”

She grabbed my hand and leaned over the table. “I know. Maybe the best thing for both of you is to be together. I get it. It sucks, but I get it.”

My jaw clenched a little and I glanced away. Trying not to give away too much of how her concern made me feel grateful that I met her.

“I’m good. Just ready to hit the road and get on with things.”

She gave my hand a squeeze again before letting go.

“You can always call me. If you need to talk about it.”

I nodded at her. “I definitely have your number.”

“And you rarely call. Julia and I always have to come find you. You know, after the funeral, there was a lot I wanted to say to you. There just never seemed like there was a moment that we could talk privately.”

Shrugging, my eyes roamed over the customers in the room. “It’s okay. You know I’m not real big on hanging out.”

“Which is exactly why, when you did come out with all of us for lunch or dinner, we tried to make it light.”

Thinking back on what happened after the funeral, Liv was right. The girls had tried to cheer me up in their own individual ways. We'd gotten to know each other slowly over the last eight months. The conversation had never really turned toward the subject of Cade. It'd been distracting, and for someone like me, who had very few friends in life if any, the significance wasn’t lost on me. I’d cherished every moment that they'd let me into their world, as surreal as it was.

She smiled at me. “Going to miss you. By the way, Aiden and I wanted to give you a gift.”

I tilted my head, considering what she said. “You didn’t have to do anything special.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t, it’s just a bonus check from Aiden. Consider it time paid for all the vacation you never took and putting up with a bunch of drunk women on our girl’s night out.”

“Oh, Liv, I can’t take that,” I argued. “Don’t do anything with that, it was enough just to let me into that wacky world of yours. I’m going to miss the late shifts for sure.”

Liv sighed and opened her book. “Already done. Where’s my burger?”

I shook my head. “Coming up, princess!”

She laughed as I walked away. Stubborn woman.

My remaining vacation hours only totaled about twenty, but it was nice that they wanted to give me a check for it. I didn’t need it, but it was nice all the same. It would just make things easier once I got settled with my mom.

I took a deep breath, surveying Muse Bar and Grill one last time.

I was going to miss this place.