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For the Soul of an Outlaw (Outlaw Shifters Book 5) by T. S. Joyce (12)

 

Oooooh, she was nervous. No, nervous wasn’t a big enough word. She was terrified and excited but mostly terrified and a little excited, all on an endless loop.

“I’m gonna do bad at this,” she hissed to Kurt.

“Bad at what?” Gunner asked from behind them as he dragged a long stick through the mud.

“Bad at meeting people.”

“Meeting Mr. Trig and Mr. Colt? They ain’t people. They’re bears. And they ain’t scary. They’re nice. Mostly.”

Yeah, well, Gunner was a cute six year old with puppy-dog eyes and a sweet disposition, while she had bitten everyone here, like, infinite times and had pretended for the last year that she was just a squirrel, not a girl.

“I don’t understand why I have to go to the meeting,” she said. “It’s for Clan only.”

“I ain’t Clan,” Kurt said, slipping his hand over hers. Well, that did help. She intertwined their fingers since touching him settled her down. Her body liked his.

“Okay,” she said, searching for her optimism. “Solution—if they yell at me, I will Change and run away. Or bite them.”

“No, no, no. Solution—you stand your ground because me and Gunner are there to back you up. And besides, I’ve seen you as a squirrel. You aren’t afraid of anything, so quit pretending a couple grizzlies are anything to sniff at.”

“Colt’s gonna be so mad at me.” The words came out a little more pitiful than she’d intended, but that was her big fear today.

“Yeah, maybe he will be, but you owe him an explanation. That’s what friends do.”

They sloshed up to the big cabin. She turned to Kurt, then looked down at her clothes. She was wearing a red flannel fitted shirt, skinny jeans, and black hiking boots. They fit perfect and were stretchy and comfy. She didn’t have a style because that was for humans, but if she did…this would be it. Kurt had nailed it. “I like that you bought me these. Makes me feel good. And I like you picked out stuff you thought I would look okay in. I like that you thought about me, even when I wasn’t around.”

Kurt’s smile was instant and crooked, her favorite one. “I never shopped for a girl before, but it was kinda fun. Karis and Ava gave me a list of stuff you needed, but I got to pick everything out.”

She checked Gunner, who was playing in the side yard, poking rocks with his stick, and then she turned back to Kurt, leaned in, and whispered, “The lacy thongs feel like I have a wedgie. Never worn those before. And for good reason.”

Kurt’s smile grew even brighter. “But they look hot.”

Tenlee laughed and shook her head. Such a guy. She stomped her way up the porch stairs and across the deck, then steeled herself for a moment since this was gonna suck big hairy balls. She knocked like she had manners, which she didn’t, but until she knew the bears weren’t going to eat her, she would pretend.

“Come in,” Trigger called through the barrier.

When she froze up, Kurt made his way past her and shoved open the door. Gunner scampered in with her. The Clan—Hairpin Trigger, Colt, Karis, and Ava—were sitting around a four-person table near the kitchen, staring at her. She couldn’t hold their gazes, not yet, so she did what Kurt and Gunner were doing and took her muddy boots off and set them in a line with the others near the door. She liked the way her boots looked lined up with Kurt and Gunner’s, like a little family.

“Smells good in here,” Kurt rumbled.

And he was right. It smelled like slow-cooked beef stew and fresh cornbread.

“Well,” Colt drawled, “we didn’t know what kind of food Genie could eat besides nuts and grapes.” Oh, he sounded so not enthusiastic about her little secret-revealed self.

“I guess I owe you some answers,” she murmured, eyes downcast like a good non-predator shifter in a room of angry monsters.

“Fuck yeah, you do,” Colt said. “You’ve seen my dick like a hundred times!”

“’S not a dick,” Gunner said primly as he dragged his stick across the scraped-up wood floors toward the back room. Over his shoulder he called, “’S a penis.”

Kurt and Trigger snorted, and Ava giggled.

Tenlee frowned at Colt. “What are you talking about?”

“How many times did I undress in front of you? And you were sitting in your little cage pretending to be my pet. I feel violated.”

“Okay, first of all,” she growled defensively, “everyone has seen your penis because you walk around the ranch naked all the time.”

Kurt plopped on the couch and flicked up two of his fingers. “She has a point.”

“And second,” she continued, “I wasn’t trying to look at your penis!”

“Can we stop saying penis?” Trigger said, his face all scrunched up.

Karis scrubbed her hands down her face and sounded tired when she said, “How long have you been Colt’s pet?”

“Since birth!” Colt said, his face red. “I raised a little squirrel-girl from birth. She’s like my child, and she saw my dick.”

“Colt,” Karis gritted out in warning, glaring at him.

“What?”

“You saved a squirrel two years ago. Think about it.”

“Think about what? I held her little pink hairless body in my hands, Karis! And now I feel super weird.”

Karis sighed and gestured to Tenlee. “Does she look like a two-year-old?”

“I don’t know!” Colt bawled out. “I ain’t good at math!”

“You had a squirrel named Genie,” Tenlee said. “She is not me, and I’m not her.”

Colt’s eyes were bright gold, and he smelled like fur and potent confusion. “I don’t get it.”

“You let your squirrel outside, thinking she would return to you, and guess what she did? She fuckin’ ran away and never looked back. I was hanging out in the woods, and it was cold. You sat on your front porch every night waiting for that disloyal little skank to come back, so I took her place.”

“Do you have a crush on me?” he asked, sounding shocked. “I mean…why would you come live in my house and never tell me you were…you?”

Tenlee looked over at Kurt and wrung her hands. All she wanted to do was run. He shook his head slowly at her like he could read her thoughts. Stand your ground, girl.

“I disappoint people,” she murmured, straightening her spine. She pointed to Trig. “You fight.” She pointed to Colt. “You protect.” And then she pointed to herself. “I disappoint. I’m better at being a squirrel than a person, and I was happy to be your pet because you were nice to me. You thought nice things about me, you let me be protective back, and you’re my best friend.” The last words tumbled past her lips, end over end before she could stop them.

“So…you don’t have a crush. That’s not why you bit everyone who tried to get close to me?”

She shook her head and gestured to Kurt. “I have a crush on him. But you were my person to protect, so if you got upset over anything, I bit whoever made you upset to punish them. And I listened when you vented to me. When you made wishes on me, I tried to make them come true so you could be happy because when I first came here, you were really sad. You looked sick when you stared at your scarred-up face in the mirror, and I hated what was going on in your head because I understood it. I don’t like my face in the mirror either. And I wanted to make it better. So I did anything I could, quietly, to give you smiles. You didn’t know it, but you pet me, said nice things to me, protected me, and never made me feel like a freak. I owed you for that.” She swallowed hard. “It was a big deal to me. Sometimes I even felt okay being what I am. So when you made wishes, I tried to grant them.”

Colt looked like he’d been slapped across the face with a fish. He just sat there frozen, drawn up, both hands clutching his knees, his eyes wide and unblinking. “So you aren’t a wishing squirrel?”

“Well, I like to think that I am, but I’m not magic. I just tried to make things happen if you wanted them.”

“Like me wishing I could bang the weather girl?”

Tenlee shrugged. “I knew you were gonna be at the bar that night, so I called the news station and told them there would be a huge story there, and she and a camera man showed up.”

“Holy fuck,” Colt said.

Trigger and Ava were biting back smiles as the lightbulb started going off over Colt’s head.

“What about the time I wished my truck would make it on, like, four drops of gas to the gas station in town?”

“I siphoned gas from Trig’s truck the night before. Nearly choked to death granting that wish.”

Trig scoffed. “What the fuck, Genie? I ran out of gas the next time I tried to go to town.”

Tenlee shrugged. “Shoulda wished for gas.”

“Okay, well that’s kinda funny right there,” Colt conceded. But then he frowned. “What about the time I wished I won the fifty-dollar costume contest at the Halloween party at the community center?”

“Well, Joe Jackson was dressed as Chewbacca, and I figured he was the only one who had a shot at winning against your sperm-costume so, while they were judging, I told him I would make out with him in the bathroom, but then I locked him in there instead.”

“When I wished for a mate,” he murmured, staring at her.

“I got you a flyer for the matchmaking service and put it in your newspaper right in front of the comics section so I knew you would see it.”

“I always thought it was weird that there was a shifter matchmaking flyer in a human newspaper,” he murmured.

“Why did you hate me so much when I came to him then?” Karis asked quietly.

“Because you were a shifter like me, but good at it. I wished he could stay my best friend, but you had to be his best friend instead. I got this feeling in my stomach when I was around you that made me angry.”

“That’s jealousy,” Kurt said softly.

“Yeah. That. I felt jealous. I tried to wrap my head around being replaced, but I don’t have many people, and I felt very protective of Colt. I finally figured out I wasn’t losing Colt. I was gaining you instead. And then I felt protective over you. And”—Tenlee gestured to Karis’s still flat stomach—“I’ll be protective of your cub when he comes along. It’s the way I’m made. Can’t help it.”

Karis smiled and said softly, “I think we all need to start over. What’s your real name?”

Colt’s eyes had softened, and the red had left his face. He didn’t look upset anymore, just a little shocked maybe.

She glanced over at Kurt, who looked so proud of her, and he nodded his encouragement. Swallowing hard, she faced the Clan and introduced herself. “I’m Tenlee.”

“Well, Tenlee,” Hairpin Trigger said in a deep, commanding voice. He stood and straightened his cowboy hat, then cocked his head. “You went to war against them cougars who came for Ava and Karis. Now, them crows want you for something, and you can tell us the reasons when you’re ready, but I saw you fighting for the girls that night. You were brave, and I owe you sanctuary, same as I owe Kurt and Gunner. So…” He offered her a slow smile, his eyes blazing gold under his hat. “Welcome officially to Two Claws.”