Chapter 7

Jack didn’t want to rush any part of this moment. It’d been coming since he was a horny kid with a crush. A crush was just based on something superficial and temporary, though. Grace had carved out a piece of his heart a long time ago and kept it.

He buried his face into the crook of her neck as he pressed his groin into hers. They were still clothed, and if things were going to go any further, that’d have to change. He didn’t want to rush Grace.

He pressed his eyes shut, cursing in his head.

“What’s wrong?” Grace breathed against his cheek. “Why’d you stop?”

He lifted his head and looked at her. Skin flushed, hair mussed. He liked seeing her like this. “I want to make sure you aren’t going to regret this.”

“Can we talk regrets afterward?” Her lips curled at the corners.

She was too special to him to mess this up. “I want you, Grace. I would never regret a single moment with you. But I need to make sure you want this, too.”

“Trust me, I do. No regrets,” she whispered. “Now stop talking and strip.” She sat up and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it onto the floor.

He reciprocated by pulling her top off as well, his eyes feasting on the skin above her breasts. Skipping a turn, he wrapped his arms around her body and unclasped her bra, letting it fall in her lap. He traced a finger along the side of one round breast. “So beautiful,” he said, his voice rough on the edges. Then he leaned forward and kissed the soft curve of her neck. As he leaned, he urged her body to lay back down. Her hands went to the button of his jeans and unfastened it. He shifted out of them, continuing to kiss her. He’d been with women before where the first time together was awkward, more like fumbling around and going through the motions. With Grace, however, it was like they were dancing and they already knew all the steps. Her every move complemented his.

She pushed his boxers down past his waist and he did the rest until he was fully naked.

“Your turn,” he said, removing every article of her clothing until there was nothing but smooth, beautiful, touchable skin. He traveled down her body, sprinkling kisses in his wake, taking note of how she reacted to each kiss. Some made her arch and moan. Some kisses tickled her. He wanted to take inventory for the future, which he knew was dangerous thinking. He and Grace could never have a future together. At least he hadn’t thought so. But he hadn’t thought they could have this, either, and yet here they were.

She tugged his body up. He did what she wanted and hovered back above her face. “Do you have a condom?” she asked.

“In my wallet. Hold on.” He grabbed his wallet out of the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the shiny package. Always prepared, but he was in no way prepared for tonight with Grace. A moment later, prepared in the physical sense only, he climbed back over her body. She clung to him hungrily, pulling him in as he rocked against her soft spot once, twice, three times a charm.

She moaned as he pushed inside her. The moment reached deep inside of him as well. His heart kicked painfully in his chest. This was more than sex and he knew it, and whether he wanted to contemplate it right now or not, some part of his mind was going there, ensuring that he did this thing right. Because this was his chance, probably the only one he’d get with Grace. If he failed, her walls would go up, higher and thicker than ever.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her full pouty mouth open. She’d disappeared somewhere in her pleasure. Her breaths sharpened, quickened. Jack pushed harder, knowing she was on the edge. He wanted to watch her go over. His pleasure built inside him, too, but he controlled it. Tonight was all for Grace. She needed a release. An escape. And he wanted to give it to her.

With a cry, her fingers dug into the muscles of his back.

“Go ahead,” he whispered, so enveloped in her every move.

She moaned louder, and then her fingers curled into his flesh to the point of pain. It felt good, though. She felt good.

“Jack,” she cried, softening as she came down from the high he’d given her. “Jack.”

He kissed her temple, continuing to rock, focusing on his own pleasure now until the pressure built up and released inside her. He rolled onto his side next to her when he was done. His only regret was that their first time together was over. His only desire was to do it all over again.

Panic began to rise in Grace’s chest as she lay there beside Jack.

What did I just do?

The feel-good chemicals coursing through her body started a slow transformation into feel-bad ones. Very, very bad. She couldn’t sleep with Jack. He was her former stepbrother. Former enemy. Former mile-sized crush that apparently she still harbored.

Jack ran a hand down the side of her body, leaned in, and kissed the crook of her neck. “That was amazing,” he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her and sending an army of those feel-good chemicals back to fight the bad ones. There was a war going on inside her and she wasn’t sure which side would win. Before she could say anything, or think any more, Jack’s mouth covered hers and they were kissing, tongues thrashing against one another, making warm, fuzzy feelings blossom low in her belly. She could feel his hard swell pressing against her thigh. He was ready for more.

So was she.

Except she’d allowed just enough doubt and regret to creep in. She pulled away from the kiss. “I’m, um, thirsty all of a sudden. I’m going to go get some water. Would you like some?”

He blinked back at her, tracing a finger along her forearm, making her shiver. “Sure.”

Grace grabbed her clothing quickly. She pulled on her shirt and stepped into her jeans. Then she hurried to the kitchen and leaned against the sink, pressing a hand against her racing heart. Jack Sawyer was in her bed. Jack Sawyer was in her bed.

Grabbing two glasses, she filled them with water. Her hands shook as she held on to each one tightly. She needed a game plan before she went back into that bedroom. Otherwise, one touch from Jack and she’d be back in his arms where she’d probably stay all night.

Would that be such a bad thing? Maybe she was thinking about this too much.

Someone knocked on her front door and Grace jumped, nearly spilling water out of one of the glasses. She set them on the counter and turned to look back down the hall where Jack was. The knock came again. She straightened her clothing and headed to the front door. Her mother? That could be embarrassing. And uncomfortable, seeing that Jack still despised the woman who’d brought her into the world.

Grace tossed a glance over her shoulder to make sure Jack was still tucked away in her bed. Seeing that the hall was empty, she opened the door. “Noah.”

“Hey,” the youngest Sawyer brother said, meeting her eyes for the first time in forever.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, worrying again that Jack would walk in at any moment. This might be even worse than if her mother had been the one at the door.

“I came to say I’m sorry that I’ve been such a jerk.”

She swallowed. “You haven’t been, um, a—”

Noah grinned. “Yeah, I have. A really big one.” He looked past Grace into the kitchen. She felt her skin burn, hoping there was no evidence of Jack.

“Can we start again?” Noah asked. “Sis.”

Her mouth curved as she sucked in a breath. “You called me that when we were kids.”

He nodded. “I’m, uh, sorry about your mom.”

“You don’t have to say that,” she said quietly.

“I’m still pissed at her, yeah. But I never wanted anything bad to happen to her. I’m not that big of a jerk.”

Grace stepped toward him. “You’re not a jerk. Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. “I’ve missed having you as a brother.”

A loud noise came from the back bedroom.

Grace pulled back.

“What was that?” Noah asked.

Grace shook her head, thinking fast. “I live with my mom.” Or she had until tonight. “She’s resting. I don’t want to disturb her. But I’m glad we talked.”

Noah took a step back toward the door. “Me, too. We’ll strategize for the tournament tomorrow.”

Grace smiled. “So you’re in?”

“I’m in.”

“That’s great. Yeah, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Bye, sis.” Noah waved and walked away.

She heaved a heavy sigh as she closed the door behind her.

“Hey.”

Grace jumped, then whirled to see Jack standing in the hallway, fully dressed again. “Hey. That was your—”

“Brother. I heard.” Jack nodded. “Your brother, too, apparently.”

“Yeah. I’m really surprised about his sudden change of heart.”

“He just needed to collect his thoughts. He lost a lot as a kid.” Jack stepped closer. She could tell he was going to touch her. And why shouldn’t he? They’d just had sex.

“Jack.” She took a backward step.

He stilled.

“We shouldn’t have—”

“You’re not about to call tonight a mistake. It wasn’t.”

She weaved her fingers together in front of her stomach. “No…Maybe. It’s just—” Just that she was suddenly consumed with fear because of the feelings she had for the man in front of her. Because of how she’d always felt about him. She prided herself on being strong, but right now she was teetering on her breaking point. She’d lost a lot as a kid, too. First her father had skipped out before she was even born. Then she’d lost the Sawyer family. They were letting her back in, though. “Noah doesn’t hate me anymore. He’s actually treating me like I exist. I can’t mess this up.”

“Mess this up by sleeping with me, you mean? That makes no sense, Grace.”

“It does. There was a time when I would have given anything for Noah to call me sis again. I just think…maybe it’s best if we forget about tonight.”

Jack stared at her for a long moment. Then he headed to the door, opened it, and stepped over the threshold, where Noah had disappeared ten minutes earlier. “Good night, Grace,” he said, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Grace awoke the next morning with a hangover of regret. Things had gone from fireworks to fiasco at the end of last night. Her mother had moved out and she’d slept with Jack. And then, in true Grace fashion, she’d pushed him away.

She pressed her palms against her eyes, took a deep breath, and sat up. She had to be at Sawyer Seafood by eight, but it was still early. She needed to go to Mrs. Smith’s and see her mother this morning and make sure she was okay. Her mother hadn’t even discussed leaving with her. She’d just up and left with the parting advice that Grace should get a life.

Grace grimaced. Instead of getting a life, she’d worked on ruining her life.

After showering and dressing, she headed a few neighborhoods down to Mrs. Smith’s house. It was an older house in need of renovations. Even one of the shutters hung loosely to the side.

“I knew you’d be here this morning,” her mother said as she opened the squeaky front door. “Actually, I thought you would’ve come last night.”

Grace averted her gaze. She’d been a little busy last night. “You didn’t have to move out, Mom.”

“I know that. But do you really think I want to live with my adult daughter? How am I supposed to date with my daughter hovering nearby?”

Grace’s mouth dropped open. “Date?”

Her mother shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not dead, Grace. Even though you keep treating me like I’m halfway there.”

Grace frowned. “I know what you’re doing.”

Her mother lifted her chin. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes, you are. You’re pushing me away because you think it’s what’s best for me.”

“It is what’s best. I’m fine here. Mrs. Smith wants me here. She needs me. You, on the other hand, don’t need me anymore.”

Grace glanced at her watch. “I have to go to work. You have your key to the apartment, though. If you change your mind—”

“Stop worrying. Go. Find yourself a man.”

The image of Jack’s naked body slammed into Grace’s brain. No forgetting that. “I’ll call you tonight,” she said, turning to her car before her mother sniffed out the memory of one particular man last night.

“You can call, but I might be on a date,” her mother called to Grace’s back, making her laugh. Some things would never change. Her mother wasn’t exactly Mrs. Cleaver, but she did her best, even when it wasn’t enough.

Grace pulled into the parking lot of Sawyer Seafood Company at five minutes to eight and glanced over at the empty parking spot that Jack’s truck usually occupied. He wasn’t here. It might not be personal, she told herself. Maybe he was working on the new pier or the boat he was building.

Or maybe when she’d pushed him away last night she’d pushed him too far. Maybe that had been their last chance to be together and she’d blown it.

Jack avoided going into the Sawyer Seafood office for the next several days. He couldn’t avoid her this afternoon, though. He, Grace, and Noah were meeting to discuss the tournament. He was going to have to be near her and pretend that they hadn’t had some of the most amazing sex of his life. That it hadn’t changed everything—for him at least.

And that would be near impossible.

Jack finished up one side of the small boat he was building and stepped back. He and Chris had built the same design one summer in camp. They’d thought they were rock stars back then. Chris had even gotten himself a date out of it. Teen girls apparently liked guys who built boats.

Except Grace. She didn’t want to date. All she wanted was to be the captain of his boat. Jack pulled a ball cap over his head and grabbed his keys. A short drive later he pulled up to the pier where the Summerly was already put in the water. With a pale blue hull and yellow markings, the boat was the very image of summertime.

“Yo, bro!” Noah called out.

Jack waved and planted eyes on Grace in a blue one-piece bathing suit.

“Let’s go for a ride!” she called, wearing huge black sunglasses that covered half her face.

Jack tried to swallow past his suddenly dry throat. She’d said she wanted to forget that they’d had sex, but sex with Grace had been something he’d wanted for over a decade. Even after their families had broken up, he’d thought about her. Wanted her. Missed her.

Jack stepped up on the pier and headed toward the midsection of the boat. He hadn’t stepped aboard since the day Chris had fallen overboard. He still wasn’t even sure where exactly Chris had gone over. At the stern? The port side he was about to enter? His mind had been too absorbed in the catch that day. Had Chris called out for help?

“Hey, stranger.” Grace was standing in front of him. Her voice was light and airy, as if nothing had taken place between them. So this was how it was going to be between them now.

“Hey.”

“You okay?” she asked.

He’d probably been standing in this one spot for an exaggerated minute, thinking about his friend, mulling over his regrets. One thing he was certain of, the woman in front of him was not a regret. “Yeah.” He took in a deep breath and stepped up onto the boat. It was like riding a bike, he told himself, then quickly labeled himself a liar. Piloting a boat after losing your best friend wasn’t the same as pedaling a bicycle.

The boat rocked as he came aboard and Grace stumbled forward. Jack’s arms reflexively went out to catch her, grabbing her waist as her arms braced against his body. She felt good against him and he resisted letting her go.

“Oops.” Grace laughed as she worked to get her feet back under her.

“You okay?” Noah asked behind them.

Jack loosened his grip and Grace slipped away—for the second time in a week, thanks to his younger brother.

“Fine. Just clumsy. I’ve forgotten most of what your father taught me as a teen. I can’t even half stand up in a boat.”

“You’ll learn again,” Jack said. “A captain has to stand. Especially when we win this thing.”

Grace swiped her hair out of her face, pinning it behind her ears. “Well, I hear you’re the best.”

“Chris was the best,” Jack said, not meaning to dampen the mood. It was just the truth. He offered a smile. “But I’m not bad.” He turned her away from him and placed his hands on her shoulders as he guided her to the wheelhouse. There was a seat behind the helm and he gently nudged Grace to sit down. “I don’t want you taking another stumble. Thanks for putting her in the water,” he said to Noah.

“Her?” Grace laughed. “That’s a little sexist.”

“All boats are female.”

“Right. I remember that now. I thought your dad was crazy when he first taught me that.”

Jack laughed, then turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life. A rush of adrenaline shot straight through him at the sound. He’d forgotten the spark he felt here at the helm of a boat, on the brink of an adventure.

“All right.” Noah stepped forward and slapped a hand against his. “I’ll go free the rope.”

A moment later, the three were out in the calm waters and setting forward. The boat cruised slowly as they navigated through a no-wake zone.

“The plan today is just to make sure the Summerly is running smoothly for the tournament. Grace, you can get a feel for the water again,” Jack explained. “You need your sea legs out here.”

“Sea legs. Right.” She nodded as she continued to sit.

Noah pulled a visor onto his head and handed Grace a ball cap. “You’ll fry if you don’t put something on, sis.”

Grace took the hat and pulled it on.

The sis endearment rubbed Jack the wrong way. So did Noah’s stopping by the other night. His younger brother was the reason Grace had pulled away, and Jack resented the hell out of that.

Noah whacked a hand down on the bill of Grace’s hat and Grace swatted him playfully. Just like a couple of real-life siblings.

Jack stewed and tried to ignore their banter. “Hold on,” he growled without meaning to. The boat passed the no-wake zone boundaries and he pushed the throttle forward. In response, the boat lurched forward, full speed ahead. At twenty knots, there was no room for talking, roughhousing, or thinking. It was just the boat and the wind—the best feeling in the world once upon a time.