Chapter Thirteen
Embarrassed by her nakedness, more so with warmth still pulsing through her, Alesone grabbed the cover, wrapped it around her as she glanced toward the door.
His expression taut, Thomas pressed his finger over his lips.
Lips that had slid with aching slowness over her body, made her feel sensations she’d never imagined. Oh God, his mouth.
Another knock sounded at the door, this time louder.
“I must get dressed!” she whispered.
Thomas grimaced and moved away.
Cheeks burning, she gave Thomas a hurried kiss then tugged on her gown.
“Mistress Alesone?”
At the duke’s urgent entreaty, she glanced over. “A moment, Your Grace.”
Thomas caught her shoulders. “Let me speak with him.”
“Are you mad! If he finds you here…” Shame filled her as she glanced toward the bed, her body still tingling from his touch.
“I came here because I heard you cry out. I came to check on you,” Thomas said, keeping his voice low.
Unsure if ’twas due to the fact that they’d almost made love, or embarrassed by how she’d all but asked for their intimacy, she blurted, “If he finds you in my chamber he will—”
“Trust me.”
However much she wanted to, what if he was wrong? What if instead of the duke accepting Thomas’s explanation, his father became outraged and demanded…
What?
That he marry her?
Her heart plummeted. God in heaven!
However much she cared for Thomas, his being forced into a marriage wasna her wish. A foolish thought. As if a duke would demand his son wed the bastard daughter of his enemy?
With methodical efficiency, she collected herself. At this moment the only thing she had left was her pride, and with her having lain naked with Thomas that was in tatters. Still, when she left Dair Castle, however damaged, at least she would have that.
“Thomas, hide under the bed.” She damned the tremor in her voice.
His mouth tightened. “I willna behave like a criminal in my home.”
His home. Lost in his upset, he hadna realized what he’d said. Though his claim assured her that he’d begun to heal, it didna change the criticalness of this moment. “For me. Please.”
“Trust me,” he repeated, his voice tight.
“I want to, but ’tis too important.” She cursed the hurt on his face, pain she’d caused, except the words had been said. Given the stakes, nor would she take them back.
Green eyes narrowed. “I willna hide like a coward, even for you.”
Hurt by his charge, she shook her head. “Never did I intend for you to think that.”
“Nay?” he said, his voice cool, “How was I to view it otherwise?”
“Thomas?” his father said from outside.
Eyes narrowed, he stepped back. “Come in, Father.”
The duke entered. Confusion lined his brow as he halted within the entry and stared at Thomas. “Why are you here?”
“Your Grace,” Alesone sputtered, “Thomas was—”
“I couldna sleep and decided to take a walk. When I stepped into the corridor, I heard Mistress Alesone cry out from inside her chamber,” he said, his eyes holding hers with a flash of temper. “Worried for her safety, I rushed inside. Thankfully, she wasna in danger, but having a nightmare.”
Warmth swept her cheeks at his simple explanation. Instead of trusting him to explain, she’d allowed her mind to create outrageous worries.
The duke’s body relaxed. “After what you have endured, I am little surprised you had disturbing dreams.” He closed the door and walked over. “’Twould seem a night for unrest. Nor could I sleep. With the sun beginning to rise, I came to check on my son.”
Stunned, she glanced toward the window, noted the swath of color staining the eastern sky. Caught up in their talk that’d spun to passion, she’d lost track of time.
“When I discovered his chamber empty,” the duke continued, “and as I couldna find him elsewhere, as he is in your care, I thought mayhap you would know.”
Her care. God in heaven. Thomas was recovering from serious injuries. Instead of dismissing his assurance that he was fine and insisting that he returned to his bed, she’d allowed him liberties. Allowed? Nay, wanted, and had thrilled at his every touch.
“Your Grace, I am sorry to cause you any concern.” Neither did she wish to give any sense of impropriety. What had she been thinking?
Alesone bit back a groan. With the way he’d touched her, kissed her, made her body come alive, there hadna been a lucid thought in her mind. She’d wanted him, and if they hadna been interrupted, would have given him her innocence.
Irritated at herself, and with Thomas deservedly upset by her lack of trust, ’twas best if he went to his chamber. “I explained to your son, Your Grace, that I was fine and he could return to his bed. Except he insisted on staying until he felt that I had calmed.”
Pride filled the noble’s gaze. “My son is a good man.”
He was, one she didna deserve, a man she should have trusted moments before. Frustrated, she met Thomas’s gaze. “I thank you again for ensuring that I was safe.”
“’Tis the least I can do after you have cared for me.” He gave a curt nod. “I will let you try to sleep.”
The men exited, and the duke tugged the door closed behind them.
Alesone collapsed on her bed, her body still trembling from his touch, and however wrong the intimacy, yearned for more.
After his father had departed his chamber, Thomas’s thoughts shifted to Alesone. Her taste still teased him, that innate sweetness that lured him to go to her and complete what they’d begun. With how she’d responded to his touch, along with the urgency of her kisses, assured him if he went to her now, they could make love.
Except when he’d asked, she hadna given him her trust. Frustrated, he began to pace to smother thoughts of her, but however much he tried, the image of her naked in his arms remained all too clear.
With a curse, Thomas lay on his bed, tugged the blanket up, and closed his eyes. If his father hadna interrupted them, he would have taken her innocence. He stilled. What if she’d become pregnant?
Blast it, so caught up in the moment, he hadna considered the ramifications of his actions. With her born a bastard, she’d endured a cold life, even shunned by those of her blood. Though fortunate that the healer had raised her with love, many an unwanted babe didna share the same fate. Nor would he allow such. If she grew round with child, he wouldna avoid his responsibility.
He shifted to his side, frowned. Though he was drawn to her, he wasna seeking marriage. ’Twas best if he kept his distance, returned to the role of her protector, nae more. More, regardless of how much he cared for her, of how her body felt beneath his, she deserved a man without emotional scars.
Thomas turned over, grimaced at the shot of pain, and forced his eyes closed. Except with thoughts of her tangling his mind, he doubted that he would find sleep.
* * *
Early morning sunlight streamed through the window, glistening on the ice clinging to the glass as Thomas pushed the tray of food aside. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed. After two days with naught but a few walks down the corridor, by God he wouldna spend another moment cloistered inside.
Grimacing at his stiffness, he dragged on his garb, then glanced toward the closed door. The woman who’d brought him his meals had explained that Alesone was feeling poorly, but he knew the truth.
Since the night they’d almost made love, she had avoided him. Mayhap he hadna planned on their intimacy, but neither would he apologize. She’d wanted him as well. He could still feel her hands caressing him, the softness of her mouth, and her hungry demands. His exhaustion had lowered his shields, otherwise he never would have touched her.
Thomas muttered a curse. As if thinking about her and what they’d done helped this convoluted situation? Nor could he allow her avoidance to continue. When he explained naught could ever exist between them, then they could step back and continue as before. After he delivered her to Avalon, then he would leave.
Except he’d miss her.
With his fealty sworn to King Robert, and Scotland embroiled in civil war, however much his thoughts strayed to the unbidden, a relationship wasna a wise option to consider.
Once Scotland was united, with his father having reinstated his title of Earl of Kincaid, then he could consider the idea of a woman in his life. As well, he would need a son to pass down Conchar Castle and title Earl of Kincaid.
The image of Alesone round with his child whispered through his mind. He shoved to his feet. The lass deserved more than a man who in his youth had torn his family apart, and whose life as a warrior had let him see little but blood and carnage.
However much he was drawn to her, she didna need a man emotionally damaged, but one who understood love.
Love.
Thomas grunted. Look at him mulling over such foolishness when ’twas duty he should focus on. The sooner he spoke with her and put this matter behind them the better.
Damming his soreness and wishing they were en route to Avalon Castle, he walked to the door. The writ he’d sent to Bruce would explain their delay. Nor would the king be pleased to learn that the Duke of Westwyck had exposed his true allegiance.
King Robert would understand that once Comyn received the news of the duke’s betrayal he would attack Dair Castle. The noble wouldna allow his daughter to escape. Without King Philip’s support, the Scot would fail in his attempt to defeat Bruce. Before her father and his troops reached Thomas’s home, Alesone needed to be far away. With the rate he was improving each day, he should be able to ride within a fortnight.
After they reached Avalon and he explained the situation to Stephan MacQuistan, fellow Templar and now the Earl of Dunsmore, his friend would ensure she remained safe. Thomas held little doubt that with Stephan’s wife, Katherine, being woman of strong will, Alesone would find more than a safe haven at the island fortress, but an alley, and if she chose to accept their offer, friendship.
Weary, he rubbed the back of his neck. ’Twas long past time for him to rejoin the Templars whom he’d traveled with to his sovereign’s encampment, knights who knew him, men he trusted, a life he understood.
With his focus clear, Thomas exited his room and crossed to Alesone’s. He knocked.
“Who is it?”
At her lyrical voice, unwanted images of her naked body stormed his mind. Bedamned, he wasna here to seduce her. “Thomas.”
Silence.
God’s teeth! He shoved the door open, stepped inside, and shoved the door shut, refusing to allow his gaze to linger upon her curves. “We need to talk.”
Nervous eyes held his as she stood paces away. “You must leave. ’Tis indecent for you to be alone with me in my chamber.”
“Since you decided ’tis prudent to avoid me, I took matters into my own hands.” Thomas stepped closer.
On a gasp she stumbled back. “What are you doing?”
“Ensuring,” he said as he caught her arm, “that you dinna run.”
The paleness on her face transformed to an angry red. She tried to pull free.
He held.
“You have nay right to barge into my room, much less make demands.”
“Why didna you visit yesterday?” he asked, far from intimidated. “Or this morning.”
Lavender eyes narrowed. “As if you dinna know.”
“I know,” he said, keeping his voice void of the emotions brewing within, “that what happened between us was unplanned, and isna a reason for you to keep away from me.”
“You saw me naked!”
Saw, touched, and tasted her. Bloody hell! “Aye, but ’tis done. Nor is anyone aware of what transpired.”
“I know,” she stated. “How am I supposed to act around you when you have seen me…”
“Naked?”
“’Tis unseemly.”
“God’s teeth, you are a healer and have seen many people disrobed.”
Her eyes blazed. “What we were doing wasna medicinal.”
Thomas doubted she’d approve of his notion that touching her raised his spirits. “From this moment,” he said, proud of his calm when his body burned for her, “I willna touch you further.”
Hurt darkened her gaze. “Are you saying that you didna want me?”
Bloody hell! “Nay.”
At the rough desire in his voice, hope ignited. “Then you did?” Alesone asked, and then wished she’d remained silent. But his declaration that he wouldna touch her further when for the past two days memories of their intimacy had filled her every thought, had forced her reply. He stared at her in disbelief, and she felt more the fool.
Mayhap moments before she’d heard naught but frustration in his voice. Ashamed, she again tugged her hand to break free.
He held tight.
“Release me.”
Thomas glanced at her wrist but didna let go. When his eyes lifted to hers, she caught the struggle within. A part of her thrilled at the discovery, another grew wary of the heat. However much he made her feel, they came from two different worlds. He, the son of a powerful noble, and she, the discarded bastard of his enemy.
His thumb skimmed along the sensitive skin of her wrist, throwing her further off balance. “I want you,” he said, his voice rough. “More than is wise.”
Dangerous awareness pulsed within, urged her to throw caution to the wind and say the words that would bring him closer, his mouth upon hers until lost in his taste she could only feel.
And then what?
Would intimacy with Thomas be a decision she would regret? The feelings he evoked went far deeper than lust.
With almost a fortnight having passed since they’d met, that should be impossible. Except thoughts of the day when he’d leave made her heart ache. However much she wanted him, if he came to her bed, ’twould change the situation, a transformation she couldna risk.
Moments before, regardless of his feelings toward her, he’d given her a vow to keep his distance.
A request she should honor. Too much stood between them to hope for anything more. She released an unsteady breath, glanced to where his fingers held her wrist. “You can let go of me.”
His eyes lowered to her mouth, lingered, then lifted to hers.
Her body trembled beneath his gentle touch, more so at the desire darkening his gaze. Wanting him with her every breath, she cleared her throat. “I think ’tis best if you leave.”
With a soft curse, his breathing ragged, he released her. “However much I want you, you canna be more than a duty. Whatever is between us ends here.”
“I see,” she said, aching at his rejection.
A frown furrowed his brow and he began to pace. At the hearth he paused. “You couldna, nor do I expect you to. There is much about me that you dinna understand.”
“Thomas, an explanation is unnecessary. As you stated, I am a duty.”
“I didna mean it like that!”
“Then how did you mean it?” she asked, feeling foolish prolonging their discussion when it would deliver naught but more hurt.
“If you became pregnant with my child,” he said with exasperation, “I would have to marry you.”
“Have to?” she whispered, her heart fragmenting into tiny bits, collapsing beneath the slide of blood that wept like tears.
“Blast it, I am explaining this poorly.” He stormed over and caught her shoulders.
“Release me,” she said, her words ice, needing to protect her fragile composure. With a slight shove she’d shatter. A fate she refused to allow him to witness.
“Alesone—”
She broke free, walked to the entry, and jerked the door open. “Leave!”