Liam shakes his head to express his disapproval. “I just hope this doesn’t end badly for you.” That pisses me off. What about Grayson? Is he implying that he wants it to end badly for him? I roll my eyes at his insensitivity.
“You didn’t answer my question? Why didn’t you call? I could’ve had company.” It’s his turn to roll his eyes.
“By company, you mean Professor Michaels?” His disdain for Grayson is apparent.
“Grayson,” I correct. “And that is exactly who I mean.” The doorbell rings and this time it is the pizza. Liam offers to pay and I shoot him a dirty look. The delivery guy grins at me with a crooked smile.
“How is your night going ma’am?” His attempt at small talk is creepy for some reason.
“Great. Thanks for the quick delivery,” I answer lamely. Liam takes the pizza to the kitchen. I hand the guy a twenty-dollar bill and his hand brushes mine a second too long as he takes the money from me. The scorpion tattoo on the back of his hand mocks me. A shiver passes through and rocks me to the core. This guy is either openly flirty or working for a tip. I was going to tip him anyway. I tell him to keep the change and walk toward the door so he can get the hint. After I get rid of the pizza guy, I see that Liam has already grabbed a couple of slices. Some help he is.
“What?” he asks innocently. “You don’t mind if I have some pizza do you?”
“Fine time to ask, if I did,” I answer with dripping sarcasm. He can be so obtuse.
“Look, I don’t want to piss you off. I don’t like that you’re dating Professor…Grayson,” he corrects himself. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I didn’t call partly because I was scared you wouldn’t answer and partly because I knew I needed to tell you this in person. The things I said last time I was here was vile and uncalled for. I wasn’t honest with myself on how much I still loved you and when I saw another man, him of all people, walk out of your bathroom, reality came crashing down on me. It broke me. I realized that I had truly lost you and that I only had myself to blame. I stayed away from you this past month as an attempt to heal. For the first time, I experienced just how hurt you must have felt when I cheated.” His introspection touches me.
“I know you weren’t yourself that day. I knew there was no way you actually thought I was capable of whoring myself out for a grade. I won’t lie and deny that it hurt that you could be so harsh.” He puts his pizza down and walks around the counter to pull me into a hug.
“I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. Please tell me I haven’t loss our friendship too.” I hug him back before pulling away.
“Liam, I can forgive you, but first I have to ask you again. Did you report Grayson?
A lone tear slides down his cheek and it’s tearing me up inside to see him hurting. Not from a romantic interest, but as a friend that I have vested time with. “Siobhan, I promise you I didn’t report you guys. I’m hurt, but I never want to see you hurt ever again.”
“So you understand that in order for us to remain friends, you’re going to have accept the man in my life whether that be Grayson or someone else down the road.” He nods in understanding. The last residual doubt that he may have been the one to report us disappears. The man standing before me genuinely still loves me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
“I don’t have to be best friends with the guy, but I respect your choice. Thank you for giving our friendship another shot. I can’t even blame Grayson for pummeling my ass. I was out of line.”
“Well let’s put all that behind us and dig into this pizza,” I suggest to lighten the mood. I lose track of time and we’re laughing our asses off as we take a walk down memory lane. The doorbell rings a third time and my heart sinks. Shit. I forgot about Grayson.
“I’ll get it,” Liam offers and I nearly knock him down.
“No. It’s Grayson. He’s not going to be too happy to see you here.” I wipe my suddenly sweaty palms on my jeans and slowly open the door. The murderous look in Grayson’s eyes and the jaw twitch hint that he is passed irate.
“What the fuck is this motherfucker doing here?” he booms. “You give me shit about Vanessa having a business lunch in my office and then you have your ex come over a few hours later?” I reach for him, but he moves out of my reach.
“She didn’t know I was coming over. I needed to apologize. To you too actually.” Liam’s last statement surprises me. And from the change in Grayson’s posture, I’m guessing he is too. Grayson blows out a deep breath so Liam continues. “I’ve already apologized to Siobhan for the things I said and the way I behaved. I was out of line. I apologize for the things I said too man. I was just angry and hurt. I respect Siobhan’s choices and I wish you two the best. You have a great woman there.” Liam heads toward the door, but Grayson’s voice stops him. Liam slowly raises his bowed head. His eyebrows knit in curiosity of what Grayson is going to say to him. The pain etched in his features lets me know that speech took everything in him—to fold his cards. Grayson places one hand on his hip and runs his hand through his hair with other. He takes a cleansing breath before walking towards Liam. It’s obvious he wasn’t expecting his apology.
“I apologize for flying off the handle. My last impression of you wasn’t great. I know it took a lot to say what you just did and I can respect that. I love Siobhan fiercely and unconditionally. As long as you are respectful of my presence in her life, I think we’ll be fine. Thank you for making amends with her, I know she still cares for you as a friend.” The two men in my life shake hands and I couldn’t be happier. Jordan will be mad that she missed the reunion. Grayson walks Liam to the door and they even crack a few jokes. A true Kodak moment. After Liam leaves, Grayson walks back over to me.
“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” he apologizes again.
“We’re even then,” I say slyly. “Maybe you need my version of the attitude adjuster.”
“Baby, I can promise you if we start something right now, we won’t get any talking done and we need to talk,” he chides. “Now tell me everything so I can be up to speed.” I tell him that I was completely honest. I delve into how the conversation went with Dr. Greer. He flinches from time to time because he doesn’t like that I shared the guilt or that I admitted that the final decision to enter into the arrangement was mine, but he told me to tell them everything. He wanted me to tell the truth. He runs his hands through his hair again and grunts. He knows he promised me that he would stop looking at me as the victim in this.
“Dr. Greer said he would meet with the discipline committee after he investigates things further. He wants to make sure that I earned my grade.”
“Baby, I told them I was the pursuer just like I said back at my place when you got so upset with me. You just cast the light right back on yourself as having equal guilt in this.”
“I did, damn it. How many times do I have to say that? I refuse to let you fall on the sword for me. It would devastate me for you to be persecuted alone for a decision that was ultimately mine to make.”
“Baby, I have to go.” He makes strides toward the door.
“Why? Are you upset with me now?” I won’t run after him.
“No. I just need some time to think. I’m going to have to use a different approach, but I need to move fast. I’ll call you,” he says as he walks out the door. He doesn’t even look back. Okay now I do need Jordan, but I won’t interrupt her date. I head to my room and change and slip off my clothes. This was not how I saw the night going. I crawl under my covers with my phone in my hand—willing it to ring. Finally my eyes grow heavy and I let sleep take me to a place less depressing.
It’s nearly noon and Grayson has yet to call or text me. My will power falters and I pick up my phone to text him.
Me: Are we okay?
Five minutes pass before he answers me.
Grayson: Yes. On the way to Phoenix to officially finalize the deal we closed last night. I’ll call you when I get back.
Something is definitely wrong. Why was his text so short and to the point? There was no flirtation—just cold. The dynamics of our relationship shifted last night and I don’t know how to fix it. It could be that he is just busy with this new deal, but my gut senses an impending heart break. He is shutting me out by hiding his emotions from me.
I just wish he would tell me again that everything is going to be okay. What is this different approach that he mentioned? I came into the kitchen with the intent to brew some coffee, but now I just sit here at the counter stunned at the lack emotion in Grayson’s last text. Trevor walks out of Jordan’s room in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. I didn’t even hear them come in last night. I’m pretty sure they made up for lost time, hence the fact that Jordan is sleeping in. She never does that. I just assumed that she didn’t bother me because she thought I had Grayson in there. Well at least one of us got some. They’re not loud like us.
“Morning,” Trevor says as he gather ingredients to make breakfast for Jordan. The scene is endearing. The irony is not lost on me that not too long ago, this was Grayson. I’m glad to see Jordan being doted on, but it also makes me miss my man.
“Morning Trevor,” I reply. “Is Jordan still asleep?”
“No she is just laying down now if you want to go talk with her.”
“I’ll talk with her later.” I no longer feel like drinking coffee so I head back to my room.
“Tell Grayson I said hello,” Trevor says before I make it to my room. They both think Grayson is here so I don’t tell him any better. I don’t want Jordan feeling obligated to come check on me.
“Will do,” I promise. I crawl back into bed. I think I’ll spend the day here. I scroll through my playlist on my phone, searching for tunes to fill the silence. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I use Bluetooth to connect to my speakers wirelessly. Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” fills the room and I sink into the covers as I listen to the lyrics. Two minutes into the song and Jordan is banging on the door. I get up to crack the door open. She tries separately to peep through the door.
“Where is Grayson, Siobhan?”
“Why?”
“I knew it the minute I heard you playing that depressing shit. Move,” she says as she pushes her way in. She looks around the room and through the open door to my empty bathroom. “You haven’t played a single depressing song since you guys got back together. You forget how well I know you. What the fuck did he do?”
“Nothing Jordan. He’s away on business again.” I get back in the bed, but she grabs my phone. She pauses the ‘depressive music’ as she calls it.
“Something is up and you’re going to tell me.” She sits on the edge of my bed and folds her arms like a petulant child. That makes me laugh.
“Fine, crazy person. I do have some things on my mind, but it isn’t anything that can’t wait. Your man is making you breakfast after a night of great sex so your ass need to be out there and not in here babysitting me.”
She eyes me suspiciously. “You can make jokes all you want, but I can see past your smile Siobhan. Something or someone has you hurting, but I’ll give you some time alone. Trevor will be leaving in a couple hours to get on the road before nightfall. I’ll be back okay?”
“Yes. Now go before your food gets cold and all his hard work is ruined.” I shoo her from my bed and gets up reluctantly. She gets to my doorway and turns with a sheepish grin on her face.
“Did you guys hear us last night?” She still thinks Grayson stayed the night here last night and I don’t correct her.
“No. I just know that you never stay in bed that late. I figured you two were playing catch up,” I tease. “If you hurry, he can get one in for the road. I won’t listen.” I turn my music back up and she sticks her tongue out at me. After she leaves, I’m more careful with my music selection. I didn’t realize I was that transparent. My playlist is pretty angst filled so I choose the Seal station on Pandora. “Kiss From a Rose” is the first to play. I love this song. I force myself out of bed to do something more productive. I begin cleaning my room and reorganizing the clothes in my closet. My stomach grumbles in protest to my missing breakfast and lunch. I’ll just have to hold out until Trevor leaves. I don’t want to intrude on their time. For now, the Snickers bar in my purse will have to tide me over.
A few hours pass and I’ve yet to hear from Grayson. I refuse to call him though. I reached out to him first already. Besides, he said he would call me once got back. I guess I was just hoping that he would change his mind and call me sooner. I distinctly remember him saying that he misses me like crazy when he is away from me from extended periods of time, even though it has only been a day. How could he not want to talk to me, damn it? I’m so deep in thought; I don’t hear Jordan until she is standing at the foot of my bed.
“Earth to Shiv,” she says, snapping her fingers to get my attention. “What’s on your mind?” She sits on my bed—ready to hear the spiel. I tell her everything that has happened up to this point, including Grayson catching Liam here and his subsequent departure after I tell him about my talk with the dean.
“I don’t know what to say Shiv. I can see both sides. He wants to protect you from this scandal and you don’t want him to take the fall for you. You guys are truly at a stalemate. It shows that he cares or he wouldn’t give a shit. It’s crappy that he’s avoiding you though. Maybe he just needs time like he said—to see how he could protect you both. Just give him time to work things through. Things will work itself out. You’ll see.” I just hope she’s right.