I stared at him, panting, my brain muddled.

“You promised our love would conquer the amnesia spell,” he said.

“You promised you’d follow me to the ends of the earth,” I countered. I didn’t know I knew that until I said it, but then the memory of our last moments together floated through my mind.

“And I did.”

“Uh, pretty sure you didn’t. I was there. You’re still here . . .”

He ran a hand through his hair, causing the top to fall forward over his temples. “I did go to Atlanta. I wasn’t supposed to. I’d sworn to the Court I wouldn’t interfere. But fuck, Kales. I couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt too much. I was fucking up all over the place, contributing to the Roca reputation when I’d promised you I never would. I had to find you.”

My heart pounded at this revelation. “Did . . . you? Find me?”

Pain filled his eyes, overflowed into his entire expression and stature. But only for a moment. He quickly straightened up to his full height, lifted his chin, and hardened his eyes again.

“Yeah, I did. And you were so fucking happy. Taking your classes. Making friends. Dating some pretty-boy asshole.”

I sucked in a breath, imagining him seeing me with Ryan and Heather, when they were both mine, not each other’s. “When was this?”

He threw his hands up. “A few times over the years. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was a fucking masochist, I guess. Because the first time was hard. You’d only been gone a few months. And I was nothing to you. Not even a vague memory. You looked right at me that time, and not a hint of recognition. I realized they were right. That was the best life for you, and I needed to leave you alone.”

Pain filled his voice, mixed with resolve.

“But for some dumb ass reason,” he continued, “I went back again. And again. Hoping maybe something changed with you, especially after you turned. I would have taken just a flicker of familiarity in your eyes. But there was still none. I finally had no choice but to accept that you were truly gone. That you really had forgotten me, everything we’d been through, the life we’d had planned. That you’d moved on to a better one. And while it killed me, I was happy that you were happy.”

Silence fell over us as we stared at each other. I knew exactly how he’d felt—the same way I’d felt with Ryan and Heather. Except not quite. For one, what Xandru and I had was so much more intense than Ryan’s and my relationship. So much more real. Although I couldn’t remember every detail of our relationship, I could feel that fact in my bones. In my soul. The relationship Ryan and I had, the one I’d thought was my epic, forever love, was superficial in comparison. And for two . . .

“I didn’t forget you,” I whispered. His brow shot up. I took a few slow steps closer to him. “Some part of me didn’t let go. I was confused. Maybe because of the spell or whatever. But there were things I’d attached to Ryan that didn’t belong. And, I don’t know, maybe that’s why I attacked him, because the very basal part of me knew he wasn’t mine. I wasn’t his. Because I already belonged to someone else. Someone my subconscious has never completely let go.”

He cocked his head. I moved a few more steps toward him, close enough to lift my hand to his face. He leaned into my palm as my thumb swept over his cheekbone.

“These eyes, for example,” I said quietly. “They’ve haunted my dreams for years.”

His hand grabbed mine, but I took control and brought his knuckles across my lips, along my jaw.

“These hands,” I continued. “They touched me almost every night.”

He exhaled heavily, slowly. “Could have been anyone’s hands. You could have been dreaming about anyone. Pretty boy, for example.”

I tilted my head. “Did I mention the eyes? You do know nobody has eyes like yours.”

He dropped his chin and looked at me through his lashes. “They’re moroi eyes. You have eyes like mine.”

“Nope. Not exactly the same. Similar, but . . . I know your eyes, Xandru. Maybe I couldn’t grasp the memory of who they belonged to, but I lost myself in them every night. And besides.” I undid the top buttons of his dress shirt and slid my hand underneath it, slowly pulling it to the side while cherishing the feel of the heat of his skin against my palm. “I have never forgotten this.”

“My birthmark? You remembered that?”

“Who could forget a birthmark shaped like a duck?” I smiled as I glanced down at the skin over his heart. My fingertip traced over the mark as I slowly looked back up at him.

“Dragon. How many times have I told you, it looks like a dragon?”

“Nope. I still see a duck.” Both of our lips curled up for a moment as we gazed at each other. “I’m sorry—”

My apology was cut off when his mouth slammed down on mine.

The kiss started as though he searched for something, his eyes open, piercing deep into mine while his lips and tongue explored. I held his gaze while kissing him back, and he must have found what he wanted, needed. With a growl, he lifted me, and as he started walking, I had no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. He carried me up the stairs and to an empty guest room, kicking the door shut behind us, our lips never separating the entire time.

But now he let go, setting me back on my feet. His eyes raked over me, sending a shiver down my spine with their heat.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice husky. “Because I’ve been waiting a fucking long time for it. But I need to know you want this. That you’re in. For good this time.”

“I’m in, Xandru. My heart, my soul, they’ve always been in. My brain just didn’t know it.”

He studied my face as he stalked toward me, forcing me to back up until my knees hit the bed. But just before I was about to plop on my ass, he swooped me up, spun us, and sat on the edge of the bed with me straddling him, my skirt bunched up around my hips. And with only my cotton panties and his dress pants between us, I could feel with all certainty just how much he wanted this. His hand slid up my back and into my hair, cradling my head, while the other splayed out over my lower back and pulled me against him. I grasped his shoulders as my breasts pressed into his chest, my hips rocked, and the friction brought out moans from both of us.

Our mouths moved together in perfect sync, pressing and sucking, parting and tasting. When his left mine, I whimpered, but then he pulled on my hair, tugging my head back, lifting my throat to his lips. His open mouth skated over my jaw and down my neck, his tongue swirling against my skin, sending webs of pleasure everywhere. He paused at my carotid, first licking the thick, pulsing vein, then sucking on it. Pleasure shot all the way to my core.

“Oh my god,” I breathed as I pushed down on his lap and rocked again, needing to feel the pressure between my legs. “Do that again.”

He paused, and his eyes rolled up to look at me through those thick, dark lashes. “You’ve never fucked a vampire before?”

I scowled. “I never fuck anyone and tell.”

He smirked, knowing my answer already. “Get ready then. I’m about to—”

“If you say rock my world, I am so out of here.”

His eyes darkened for a brief moment, but then he laughed. Who knew that sound would be a total turn on? When I reacted with another shift of my hips, rubbing my center against his erection, his eyes darkened in a very different way.

“I was going to say,” he said huskily, “I’m about to show you one of the best parts of what we are.”

His fangs let out right before he leaned into my throat again, licking and sucking at my vein, the tips of his fangs scraping across my skin. At the same time, his hand slid from my back, over my ribs, and to my breast. He cupped it for a moment, the heat of his palm making my shirt and bra feel nonexistent. His hand expertly teased my breast, the friction causing my nipple to pebble against his palm while his mouth never left that spot on my throat. I arched back more, rocking in a quickening rhythm, rubbing my clit against his hard-on at the same pace his tongue assaulted me. He rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger before giving it a hard pinch, making me cry out with pleasurable pain. Then his hand traveled southward, over my stomach, down in between us, slipping into my panties.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so wet,” he said against my throat. His fingers stroked my folds before finding the swollen bundle of nerves aching for his touch. He barely grazed it, and I cried out again. His thumb pressed into it, swirled over it as his fingers slid to my opening. “Get ready, Kales. It’s like nothing else.”

His lips clamped onto my throat and sucked, then his fangs dug in at the same time his fingers slid into me. I came undone. Completely. Fucking. Undone. And I couldn’t stop coming undone as his fingers stroked and his mouth sucked. I lost all control as my back arched and my hips rolled on their own, fucking his fingers while he drank my blood. And just when I didn’t think I could climb any further, his thumb pressed against my clit, my entire body clenched around him, and I screamed his name as I soared.

“Oh god,” I finally breathed as I started to come down.

“Not the first time I’ve been called that.”

The deep voice, as sexy as it was, cut into my bliss. His tongue slid over his bottom lip, licking my blood off it. I touched a finger to my throat, but of course the wounds had already healed. The smell of myself all over him, the way I’d just lost control . . . heat exploded in my cheeks. He smirked.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he said as his hand slipped out from me. He lifted it to his mouth and sucked on his fingers. “I’m not sure what tastes better, though—your blood or your pussy.”

I might have come again just from his dirty words.

“Should I get a better taste?” he asked. Before I could respond, he flipped us over, and I found myself on my back, my ass on the edge of the bed, and Xandru between my legs. He leaned his head down.

“No,” I gasped.

He froze. “No?”

“I want you inside me. You.”

He gave me a sexy grin. “Say what you really want, Kales. Talk dirty to me.”

I shook my head. “Not now, Xan. I don’t want to fuck. I want to make love. It’s . . . it’s been so long.”

He stared at me for a long moment, then his beautiful eyes fell closed. He exhaled a long, slow breath. But otherwise didn’t move. I leaned up on my elbows, waiting. Then he stood up.

“You’re right,” he said as he started pulling my skirt down over my thighs.

“Um . . . I’m not sure if you heard me right. I want you. Now. But all of you. Your whole being, not just your cock.”

He leaned in and pressed his lips to my ear. “I know. I do understand. And this is not how it should be. Not our first time . . . our new first time. You deserve better.”

His mouth moved to my mine and delivered a delicious but tame kiss.

“You misunderstand,” I said against his lips.

“No, but you have to stop.” His fingers wrapped around my wrist as I moved my hand down his stomach. “Or I won’t be able to.”

“Then don’t. I don’t want to stop.”

“I do.”

I stilled in his grasp, only inches from stroking him. “Let me take care of you at least.”

“Ah, Michaela, you already did. Watching you come like that . . . something I never thought I’d do again. And drinking your blood while you did—it was my own personal heaven.” He tugged on my wrist, pulling me to my feet. “There will be lots of time to take care of me, yeah?”

I straightened out my clothes. “Yeah. Plenty of time for us both.”

“You’re staying then?”

I glanced around the guest room, my gaze pausing at the window and the view of the mountains, before coming to his face, nearly as impressive. “Where else would I go?”

He leaned toward me as though to kiss me, but his pocket buzzed. He retrieved his phone, glanced at the screen, and swore under his breath. His entire demeanor changed.

“I have to go, but I’ll be back later. We have a lot to talk about.”

When he didn’t come back, I began to wonder what kind of fool I was, thinking I wouldn’t be given a taste of my own medicine.