Chapter Six

Ethan

 

Straight from my ill-fated visit to the base, and to Frederick’s secret section of the barracks — it would’ve been secret to anyone other than me, who has seen a couple of younger, at risk officers and cadets moved to this area over my 30 years of service — I head back to Riley Bradford’s law office.

Not gone from her place for less than an hour or two, it’s not surprising that Riley is still where I left her. I don’t even bother to check in with the receptionist, since I’m still fresh on her mind.

It seems I’m fresh on Riley’s mind as well. Especially since she can see the regret and frustration on my face the minute I walk into her office. I have my head down this time, hands behind my back and eyes plastered to my shoes. I haven’t felt this idiotic since I was about 10 years old and decided to jump off the high dive at the local swimming pool without first checking to make sure there was no one under me. I then got my ass chewed out and subsequently strapped by my dad.

“What’s up, Ethan?”

By the sound of her voice, I can tell she’s studying something intently. Probably still reading notes to do with my case. But that could just be wishful thinking on my part, since I might’ve just done something bordering on insanity to screw it up even more. And Riley specifically told me that I might do that by visiting Frederick with active charges — fresh ones at that — against me.

“You were right,” I say shuffling up to her desk, barely meeting her gaze. “I just got back from the base. Just back from meeting with Frederick, and that was a mistake.” I swallow, feeling like the knot in my throat is going to strangle me. “He freaked out on me while I was there and probably thought I was going to do something to hurt him.”

To this, Riley just hums and sighs at me. If she had the energy, I’m sure she’d say.

“No-fucking-shit Sherlock,” but she doesn’t. She just continues to read…and work, leaving me to continue with my confession…my thick-headedness in more detail.

“He screamed. One of the other officers—someone I haven’t worked with much named George, came to see what was happening. He noticed that someone was there with Frederick, but didn’t recognize it was me. But he did threaten to press other charges for tampering with Frederick if he found out who it was.” I rake my fingers through my hair, wishing that I wasn’t so stubborn and arrogant at times. My mother used to say that was going to be my downfall one of these days. And today might just be that day.

“Lucky you,” mutters Riley, shuffling some more papers then typing something into her computer.

“You’d be luckier if you hadn’t gone there in the first place, but I didn’t try to do anything about that — dissuade you from doing that now— did I?” The sarcasm in her voice would be enough to drop fifty mothers to their knees.

“At first I thought he might be trying to get me in trouble by screaming, you know,” I mutter, aware I was about to start rambling. “I thought he was going to try to make noise to pin more charges on me or create more evidence. But then he kept trying to hug me too… which was weird… but I didn’t allow him to. And when George showed up he didn’t say anything, he didn’t rat me out so… I don’t know.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Riley’s eyes finally meet mine, as she files documents away for safekeeping.

“Frederick is not the most stable young man on that base, Ethan. I thought we already went over that. He’s been through a lot. He’s obviously confused and scared, and you’re the person he’s going to latch onto. You’re the person he’s labeled as his attacker.”

As Riley speaks, my mind isn’t really on what she says. It’s just more of the same. More of what she said already, when I was first questioning these charges. The part about “going after him” as it were.

My mind however, keeps coming back to his desire to hug me... to comfort me... get close to me. Was he trying to explain something to me? Something I wasn’t in the mood to listen to nor let him express.

And then a dim light bulb begins to go off in my head. Maybe he freaked out on me because other people have grabbed onto him like that and roughed him up? What if it has nothing to do with me, but him having some sort of flashback from his previous assaults? Sweat begins to form on the back of my neck

Why would Frederick try to hug me and touch me that way, especially after he’s been so standoffish for most of the time that I’ve known him? My stomach knots, and paints a picture in my head of him being bullied and stalked by other officers. I get a vision of him trying to get close to me and whisper something in my ear, maybe to share a piece of information that he doesn’t feel like he can share with other people. Others who may be listening…people really trying to harm or extort him.              Dear God! Was he was trying to get close to me to let me know what kind of trouble he’s in?! Maybe he wasn’t trying to create new evidence at all, or put me in an even worse position! He simply could have been trying to relay a message or secret to me — reaching out for help — and I just pushed him away! I swear under my breath.

“I go to try and help him and all I end up doing is alienating him.”

Riley answers my musing.

“Exactly. That’s exactly what you should be doing. Keeping him at arm’s length.”

She pauses, capturing me with her peculiar colored eyes.

“Frederick isn’t the only young man who could cause problems for you, Ethan. There are others. This case, even if it is dropped as far as Frederick is concerned won’t just go away. I’ve heard rumors today there are other men who are beginning to claim they’ve experienced the same thing as Frederick. They haven’t said if it was you or not.” This makes me dizzy and panicky in a way I’d hoped to never feel in my life.

“I’ve never even touched Frederick in that way,” I growl. “I know there can’t be more men claiming the same thing.” I pause, leaning into the desk, placing my weight on my hands and arms. “And if there are, I know they’re lying as well.” I spit something out of my mouth not aware of what it is. It feels like a piece of a fingernail, but it’s probably a shard of peanut. “That alone will eliminate them as threats. Half of these guys don’t have the balls to tell a lie about me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Ethan. There are always people out there waiting and willing to take us down, if they see us as a worthy target for their malice.”

I look at her, feeling lost... saddened and frustrated by the developments of today. And today started out so well.