Glory

 

Well, our date started out great and ended in a fiasco. The ride back to our building spent mostly in silence. Beck apologized profusely after he walked me to my door, but really, it was all me. I was so embarrassed of my behavior at the restaurant that I awkwardly said goodnight to him in the hall and went inside my apartment. He didn’t indicate he wanted me in his apartment and there was no way I could invite him in mine and risk him seeing the hole in the wall. Especially after he tried to take me on a date and my brain was over ridden by my vagina. What can I say? She’s a needy bitch these days. I was so embarrassed of my behavior, I couldn’t think of anything to say for myself. I just have no control where Beckett is concerned, not even a little. I’m cock-starved, and he’s an all you can eat sex buffet. Everything he does turns me on. I’m so sexually frustrated right now from having been so close to finally, finally having him naked only to get interrupted, yet again.

I totally considered just fucking him anyway, server and stoner boy be damned. I mean, I’m obviously into voyeurism of some sort at this point. I’m coming to find out I have a kinkier side than I’d realized. I blame no sex and all these damn book boyfriends for my new-found kink. It’d be comical at this point, if I weren’t so horny. The slightest breeze in the right spot could get me off. Sad thing is, B.O.B. doesn’t cut it anymore. Once you’ve seen the unicorn, nothing else can compare to its majestic beauty. Sadly, that unicorn left a few days ago to go on his mini tour. My vagina is in mourning as she awaits his return.

His band will be playing in a town about two hours from here tomorrow night. The girls and I are planning to go. I’m really excited to see him perform. Mostly just excited to see him. The last few days he’s been gone, I’ve really missed him. We worked through our little postdate awkward patch the following day, before he left. He came to see me at the bookstore. I almost died when he showed up unexpectedly carrying a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers. Of course, I wanted to pounce on him like the sex-crazed lunatic I’ve become, but we kept the PDA to a minimum this time. Likely because Ti was at the bookstore with us or I probably wouldn’t have been able to contain myself. 

I finish setting up the wine and snacks just as a knock sounds at the door. I open it to Christina, Evelyn, and Jen in the middle of a conversation about Jen’s period.

“Hey Glory. I brought more wine.” Christina holds up the bags before turning to Jen to ask, “Didn’t you just have a period two weeks ago?”

“No. It was a month ago. I’m tracking it since I switched to this new birth control. Hi Glory, I have chocolate and gummy bears,” Jen adds, as she scoots past me with her bags, following Christina into the kitchen.

“I’m with Ti. I feel like you have a period every other week,” I shout toward Jen’s retreating form.

“It does feel like that, doesn’t it?” Jen asks frowning as I turn to Evelyn who is still standing empty-handed in my hallway.

“I carried a watermelon,” Evelyn says with a very serious expression. I bust out laughing before grabbing her hand and dragging her through the door. 

“Shit, get in here, crazy.”

“I didn’t have time to stop for any goodies this time. My abuela’s birthday party ran long because of the strippers.”

I stop laughing as I tilt my head and look at Evelyn who has a dead serious expression on her face. Evelyn has a wicked sense of humor and half the time you can’t take what she says as serious. Did she just say strippers?

“Strippers? There were strippers at your grandmother’s ninetieth birthday party? You’re serious?”

She shudders and nods. “Yep. I’ll never get that image out of my head. My sweet abuela was sitting in a chair surrounded by all of the ladies from her church group, her daughters, and granddaughters. Then the music started. Out came three men that looked like they just left a Magic Mike audition. My grandma took a liking to one. She started shoving a lot of money into the front of his thong. So, he worked her over good. When I left, he had his head up her skirt between her thighs. I heard motor boating sounds. Some things can never be unseen, Glory. This, this is one of those things. I need alcohol and eye bleach, now please.”

“Oh Lord, you poor girl.” I hug Ev before we walk into the kitchen to get her drunk, really drunk. 

We settle down in my living room with our drinks and food to discuss this week’s group read, Club Whore by Kim Jones.

“Delilah was a whore, and she likes her some pain. And go.” Evelyn kicks off her heels and leans back into the cushions of the sofa, glass of wine in hand. She flings a mass of her dark hair over her shoulder before pulling her feet up to rest underneath her.

“Yes, Ev. She was a pain slut,” Jen adds as she rips the top off a pack of gummy bears. She grabs a few and tosses them into her mouth, then she groans her approval. “But Bryce, holy fucking swoon. He was kind of her Dom but he wasn’t a Dom. He gave her the pain she craved in a safe way.” 

“Good point, Jen. I never thought I’d want to be tied to a tree, but if it was Bryce and his Cajun accent telling me to “Take off your clothes, Love” so he could tie me to a tree, I’d be all in. All fucking in.” Hell, would I ever. I wonder if I can get Beck to tie me to a tree? I wonder if he can speak in a Cajun accent?

“Yes, girl, that Cajun accent, mmm.” Evelyn closes her eyes and smiles recalling the deliciousness that is Bryce before sipping her wine.

“What exactly is a Cajun accent?” Christina asks before reaching over from where she sits in the oversized chair in my reading nook to pick up Wookie.

“It’s a mix of dialects, English and French, I believe. God, I love a sexy man with a Cajun accent.” I reach out to grab my wine from the coffee table and notice Ti is sitting there with a confused look.

“What is it Ti?”

“Why is the only thing I can think of Bobby Boucher from Water Boy?” 

“Oh lort, no.” Evelyn scrunches her face in disgust before we all laugh, and that devolves into us saying quotes from the movie in our best Bobby voice.

“How about that threesome partay? Damn, that was hot,” Evelyn asks as she tries to steer this motley crew back on topic.

“Yes! Scratch and Crash. Crash, by the way, was taught how to eat pussy by his lesbian Mom. I died when I read that.” Jen laughs and grabs some gummy bears from the bag resting between her legs. 

“Someone calls Delilah sugar tits. That shit always gets me. Jen, give me some gummy bears, please.” Evelyn extends her hand and waits for Jen to hand the bag over. Jen side-eyes Ev for a second, but then, with a huff, she hands her the bag. 

“I saw a butter tits, too.” Ti laughs and reaches for the wine bottle beside her on the table and starts to fill her glass. “What does butter tits mean? Are they fattening, smooth and creamy?”

“Let me look it up.” I grab my phone and run a quick search. “Okay, slang it says is like butter face.” I look up at Christina.

Her brow is furrowed as she asks, “What’s butter face?”

“You know, like her body is banging, everything but her face…butter face,” Jen adds. 

“That’s horrible. I’m guessing that is not the intended meaning here,” Christina replies.

It all seems to happen in slow motion. It’s one of those horrifying moments that seem to go on forever. Ti moves to set the wine bottle back into the bottle chiller when it starts to slide across the table. Christina tries to grab for it but she has a wine glass in one hand and Wookie in the other. The chiller falls from the table. It strikes dead center of the painting that still rests leaned over the hole in the wall. To my absolute horror, the canvas rips down the middle, exposing my dirtiest secret to my best friends.

“Damn Glory. I am so sorry. It just slid off the table, and I couldn’t catch it.” Christina bends over to pick up the chiller, and I’m frozen in place as I watch the ice mix with the wine and broken glass. It sparkles on my wood floors like a beacon beckoning all to look at the gaping hole in the wall no longer hidden behind the canvas painting. 

“I’ll grab some paper towels.” Evelyn hops off the sofa and heads toward the kitchen.

“What the hell is that?” Christina asks as she moves closer to the wall to survey the damage she didn’t do.

“Shit. This chiller knocked a hole in your wall, Glory. Jesus, I’m sorry. I’ll find someone to come out and fix this.” Christina looks upset with herself, and that, I can’t have. I can’t allow my best friend to feel bad about something she didn’t cause. No matter how much I don’t want to come clean. 

“The hole was already there, Ti.” The weight of my confession crushes my chest, making it hard to breathe.

“It was already there? How? Why didn’t you have someone come fix it? Is something wrong? Do you need money to fix it? I can get it fixed for you.” Christina’s concern is evident, and I know she would do anything to help me. I look over and there are Ev and Jen, cleaning up the mess. I just hope they will still love me once I confess. I walk over to them, and Christina joins us.

Sighing, I sit back on my heels and ready myself. “Girls, I have a confession. I hope you listen with an open mind and don’t judge my behavior too harshly.” I’m so disappointed in myself and embarrassed of what I’ve been doing to Beck. When no one but Wookie and I knew, I guess it was easier to play down the severity of the situation. Now that I’m about to come clean to my closest friends, the people that know me the best, it feels dirty, wrong. Very wrong. The realization that Beck will find out hits me like a hammer. Jesus, he’ll hate me. He’ll never want to speak to me again. I guess that’s what I deserve but it will break my heart. I’m totally catching a case of the feelings for him. Big time.

“What is it, Glory? You know you can tell us anything.” Evelyn lays a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Jen and Ti stop cleaning and look at me, waiting on me to drop this bomb.

“So, the day Beckett moved in, this hole was knocked in the wall. I’ve been spying on him, and he doesn’t know.”

I hang my head in shame as I wait for my declaration, which I’m sure has stunned my friends, to sink in. After a few seconds of what I’m assuming is stunned silence, their laughter rings throughout the room. I look up and tears stream down Evelyn’s face because she is laughing so hard. Ti has fallen onto her back in a laughter-induced fit. I turn to Jen as she swiftly hops up onto her feet, cupping her cooch through her pants declaring how she is going to piss herself.  

“Guys, I mean, it’s kind of funny, but aren’t you repulsed by me now? I’m a freak. I’ve been watching my neighbor through a hole in the wall while I masturbate to him masturbating. I’m disgusting. Lowest of the low.” 

Taking a deep breath, Christina sits up and wipes the tears from her eyes.

“Glory, honey, typically, you are the least freaky person I know. Would I ever guess you’d do something like this? Not in a million damn years. Hell, anyone with eyeballs and access to that beast that lives next door to you,” Ti quirks her thumb toward the hole. “They’d do the same thing. Actually, I’m a little upset you didn’t tell me sooner so       I could look too.” We all laugh again, and some of the stress I was feeling about disappointing them lifts from my shoulders. 

“Does he know you’ve been watching him?” Jen’s eyes dart to me as she picks up some of the broken glass from the floor. 

“No. He doesn’t know. If he finds out, he’ll hate me.”

“He will not hate you. Obviously, you don’t see the way he looks at you,” Evelyn says as she drags a trashcan and mop over.

“How’s he look at me?” I haven’t noticed anything important. I mean, sure, I can tell he has the hots for me, that goes both ways.

“Beck looks at you like you are the only woman in the world, like you are the key to his very existence. That man has it bad for you, honey, and I’m not talking about sex.” 

“Really? You think so?”

Does he look at me that way? Could he feel what I’m starting to feel?

“I know so. If a man looked at me like that, I’d wife his ass.”

We all laugh as we finish cleaning this mess, and I tell the girls the truth of what’s been happening with Beck. Evelyn volunteers to serve as our cock-blocker blocker.

My burden has been slightly relieved. I am going to have to come clean to Beck, though. I can only pray he takes it well and doesn’t want to stop seeing me. It’s a chance I’ll have to take. I’m starting to see the possibility of a future with this man, and I can’t base it off something started on a lie.

I’ll tell him after the concert tomorrow night.