Justin
I knew before I even opened my eyes that Hadley was gone.
I wasn’t surprised, really. But I was disappointed. Even through my drunken haze the night before, I’d had some shimmering hope that she’d moved past the “Let’s Pretend Justin Doesn’t Exist” phase of our relationship. Maybe it was the way she let me kiss every part of her body. But when I’d rolled over and felt cold sheets, I knew she’d run. It was typical, but it wasn’t any less frustrating.
I wanted to make sure she was all right, that she’d made it back to her room, that she wasn’t feeling as absolutely wrecked as I was, but I knew if I texted her she’d just ignore me. I had dozens of unanswered texts to back up that assumption.
What was one more?
**I hope you’re safe in your room. I wish you would have stayed or at least let me walk you back. See you at the airport.**
I sent the text but wasn’t dumb enough to expect a reply.
I wasn’t dumb enough to expect anything from Hadley, but for some reason I was crazy enough to keep hoping for things to change.
I lay there a few minutes, trying to adjust to the idea of being awake and supremely hungover.
My mind drifted back to the night before, to the way Hadley slowly let me closer and closer until it seemed as though I’d finally cracked her open. We kept drinking because with every drink she became less guarded. Not in a creepy date-rape kind of way, but in a way I’d been hoping she’d open up for months now. She was talking and laughing and engaging with me. She wasn’t shutting me out.
Camden and Riley had left pretty early into the evening, leaving Rachel, Tripp, Jasper, Ben, Greg, Hadley, and me to make the most of our one night in Vegas. Eventually, one by one, or two in the case of Tripp and Rachel, they’d all succumbed to exhaustion and abandoned us, leaving Hadley and me standing in front of the Bellagio fountain, happy drunk and wrapped around each other.
“Spend the night with me,” I’d whispered in her ear, fully aware of the way her breath halted at my words. I’d hoped and prayed she’d agree, wanting to show her that I wasn’t just some chump looking to score, that I wanted her in every way and for more than just one night. But if one night was my foot in the door, I’d start there.
She never actually answered me, which should have been my clue that she’d be gone before the sun came up. She’d just wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed the fuck out of me.
It wasn’t our first kiss, but it was the first time she’d let me undress her, to see her unimaginably incredible body. It was the first time she hadn’t said no, hadn’t stopped me, or ignored me, or teased me. Once we’d made it back to my hotel room I met an entirely different Hadley than before. She was open and gentle and soft, and so fucking sexy.
Images of her long, dirty blond hair falling around her face, her mouth open, her eyes looking directly into mine, they had every part of me coming to attention. Every part.
I rolled over and groaned, both because of the sadistic images rolling around in my brain of Hadley naked in my bed, but also because I felt like the gum stuck to the sidewalk on the Vegas strip. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d drunk so much and my head was definitely complaining. I took in a few deep breaths and opened my eyes, only to see Hadley’s black thong draped across the only chair in the room. I vaguely remembered throwing them over my shoulder just before my mouth met her sex.
Fucking Christ.
None of this was good.
No, that wasn’t true.
It would have been good if Hadley had stayed. If I’d woken up and found her still sleeping, or even awake and content. Instead, she’d run. And in doing so she’d made everything exponentially more difficult.
I slowly rolled onto my back and brushed my hands down my face, mentally preparing myself to get out of bed and head to the airport. It would be an uncomfortable day of travel, but I knew Hadley most likely felt worse.
I scooped up her panties as I walked to the bathroom, dropping them in my suitcase, which lay open on the floor as I passed by. She’d want those back. Or perhaps I’d keep them.
A few hours and two very strong cups of coffee later I was walking to my gate at the airport. I knew in a few minutes Camden and Riley were going to appear and then he was going to surprise her with a trip to Hawaii for their honeymoon, leaving the rest of us to fly back to Portland on our own.
I approached the gate and my eyes were immediately drawn to the beautiful Hadley sitting near a window. She donned sunglasses and a telltale white cup that I knew was filled with coffee. Her knees were drawn up and resting on the seat across from her while her head leaned back against the seat behind. She looked exhausted and exquisite.
Rachel and Jasper were involved in their own conversation and the three parental units were also talking amongst themselves, so I was left with two options: sit by myself or try to talk to Hadley. Even though it would kill her to admit it, I knew her. So I knew she didn’t want me to talk to her at all. That alone almost made me walk right over and take the seat next to her. But if she was feeling even half as poorly as I was, I knew she wouldn’t be in the mood for any of my shit. Instead, I pulled out my phone and sat down on the other side of the gate, trying to look busy.
A few minutes later when Camden and Riley showed up, I couldn’t help but notice how happy and not hungover they looked. As much as I couldn’t believe how they’d found each other, I had to admit happy looked good on both of them. When he’d told me he met a girl at a Renegades basketball game when they’d been put up on the Jumbotron for the Kiss Cam, well, I never thought it would be the beginning to an actual marriage. But Camden was smart to snatch Riley up—she was a catch. And there was no denying they made each other stupidly happy. Even sickeningly happy at times.
Camden pulled out the boarding passes for Hawaii and Riley lost her mind, just as I knew she would.
Camden set the bar high. It would figure I’d fall for his wife’s best friend and suffer by comparison.
We all said goodbye to the happy couple and I watched as they disappeared down the airport terminal, hand in hand, nothing but suffocating happiness trailing in their wake.
What I wouldn’t give to have Hadley smile at me just once the way Riley was smiling at Camden.
Well, that was a lie. She had smiled at me last night. She smiled a lot, actually. What I wouldn’t give to have Hadley smile at me while she was sober.
I sighed and shook my head at my own downtrodden thoughts. Surely, a woman smiling at me without being drunk shouldn’t end up in the hashtag lifegoals category, but alas, it had.
Hadley returned to her seat, eyes still hidden behind dark sunglasses, but I could tell she was purposefully ignoring me. Instead of feeling even more like an idiot, I decided to inject myself into Rachel and Jasper’s conversation. I’d met them a few times, but Camden and Riley had always been around as buffers. I wasn’t sure I had anything in common with either of them, but I was willing to find out if it meant I wasn’t sitting alone in an airport wishing Hadley would speak to me.
“I bet by this time next year they have a baby.” That came from Jasper and it almost made me turn around and sentence myself to a seat alone.
“Shut up, Jasper. They don’t need to get pregnant yet. They’re still young and focused on their careers. Babies can wait.” That came from Rachel and I was surprised to hear the words from a woman’s mouth. That might make me a little douche-ey, but it was my first thought. It also made me like her a little bit more.
Truth be told I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to either one of them a lot the night before. Everyone either paired off or disappeared and then it was too late. They both seemed like great people, I just didn’t really know what to say to them. It was a difficult concept to wrap my mind around and even harder to vocalize, but Rachel and Jasper belonged to Riley, and Riley belonged to Hadley. If someone was to look in on our little dysfunctional relationship, it would be obvious that Hadley had more of a connection with Rachel and Jasper than I did. I knew they all hung out together sometimes, that Hadley would join them for lunch during the week, and as silly and juvenile as it felt, I didn’t want to tread on her territory. I didn’t want to give her any more reasons to push me away, and I definitely didn’t want her to distance herself from her friends, so talking with Jasper and Rachel was in some ways dangerous. But I had little choice at the moment. If left to myself I would only sulk.
I didn’t want Hadley to see me sulking, didn’t want her to think anything was out of the ordinary. The instant I made it obvious that last night changed everything, she’d shut me out even further. I smirked and brought my hand to rub my bearded chin, my fingers vibrating against the thick scruff, and laughed at the thought of Hadley freezing me out more than she was in that instant. I was ice-cold.
“I don’t know, I’d put fifty dollars on an anniversary baby,” Jasper said, almost sounding as though he was pleased with the idea.
“I’ll take that bet,” I said, coming up behind him and Rachel.
“Me too,” Rachel replied, smiling at me. “Riley is not ready for a baby.”
“Neither is Camden. Although, I bet if they did end up getting pregnant he’d sell me his season tickets to the Renegades.”
“It would be hard to take a baby to a basketball game,” Jasper added thoughtfully.
“I feel like our group of friends is too newly minted to add any unplanned pregnancies to the mix.” Rachel said the words and looked at both Jasper and me for confirmation. “Are you guys ready to be honorary uncles?”
“No,” Jasper and I said in unison, making Rachel laugh.
“I am, however, willing to housesit anytime they need me,” Jasper continued.
“Is anyone watching their house while they’re in Hawaii?”
“I am,” Hadley called out from her seat.
I didn’t think she could hear us, or was even interested in our conversation.
“Oh,” Rachel said with a smile. “Lucky you. They have a hot tub.”
Hadley’s head was tilted back far enough so she could look at Rachel, although that was an assumption because I couldn’t see her eyes through the dark lenses of her sunglasses. Her long hair was hanging low, hitting the seat behind her. But I could see the smile she wore, how soft and warm it was, so I knew it wasn’t directed at me.
“You can come over any time. I’ll be lonely for two weeks.”
“You’ve got a date.”
Hadley’s smile widened, then she went back to looking forward again. When Rachel turned back to Jasper and me her eyes went directly to me, then they widened, like I’d caught her doing something she wasn’t supposed to, and she dropped her gaze to her feet.
Interesting.
I knew Camden and Riley were invested in whatever was happening between Hadley and me, but it hadn’t occurred to me the rest of the group had picked up on it. Great. Everyone wanted to know how our relationship was progressing just as much as I did.
“I think I’m going to grab some coffee before we board.”
I walked past Hadley, but I didn’t bother trying to get her attention. I knew I had it, knew she was as aware of me as I was of her, but I also knew she’d never admit to it. I could feel her eyes on my back as I passed her, knowing those sunglasses were not just to protect her eyes from the harsh light, that it wasn’t just a hangover keeping them on. She didn’t want anyone to know she was watching me.
I couldn’t help the smirk that tilted up the corner of my mouth.
Last night may have been a mistake in her mind, but in mine it was just the beginning.