I walk out of the coffee shop down the street from Ariana’s office, the bright morning sunshine heating my face. I’d needed a drink after fucking her against the desk like that, but instead, I had to settle for coffee. I took my time, sitting at one of the tables, keeping an eye on the patrons coming in and out. Nothing around me looked out of the ordinary, which is ironic because I’ve never felt more displaced.

A nagging voice in my head is telling me things that I’m not sure how to process. It’s actually been there for a while, since that day in the park with Damon.

Give up on this game. Enjoy this time with your son. Don’t alienate the last person who actually gives a crap about you.

What if all of these obstacles are signs to throw on the brakes? What if the universe is telling me to turn the other cheek for once?

I don’t usually think like this. I always acted as though I had nothing to lose. But this time, the threat is real. I don’t want to lose Damon…or Ari. There’s something there. It’s crazy and dysfunctional, but she makes me feel. And I like it.

I pull open the door to my car after doing a quick glance around a couple of times and slide into the driver’s seat.

“What the fuck, man?”

I almost have a stroke on the spot as I collapse against the leather headrest. “Jesus Christ, Kegs. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“I knew you had something going on with that woman. When the hell are you gonna learn?”

My spine stiffens. “Why are you here, anyway? You following me?”

“Yeah, dick, because this happens every time. Remember back at the Bureau when you acted out of order and fucked up one of your investigations before you had all of your evidence accounted for? You were in too deep and you weren’t thinking straight. Then, right before you got pinched, things between you and Kate were falling apart. Remember? She wanted you to change, you thought you could, but only after you nabbed Conlon? Yeah, well, you didn’t. And so you got sent to prison for five years. And now?” He nods his head to the building. “Now, you expect me and the guys to put our asses on the line while you’re figuring out how to eat and fuck your cake? No way, man. Not this time. Every time you lose focus, you end up screwing yourself. I won’t let you screw us, too. We’re doing this for you. We have our own lives, Jeff. You’re being led around by your dick right now, and it’s messing with your head.” He cocks an eyebrow and points. “The one sitting on your neck.”

I rake a hand through my hair. Kegs always had a disturbing way of putting facts together. It’s the reason I both loved and hated having him on my side.

“And fyi, you can’t change. People can’t change who they’re meant to be. You just happen to be a very principled criminal. Accept it and move the fuck on.”

It’s hard not to let out a snicker. Even Kegs lightens up a bit. “Listen, I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to put you guys at risk. Ariana has something going on with Conlon, and I need to find out what it is.”

“Need to find out because it may compromise this job or because it’s just one more thing he’s taken away from you? Listen, I get the whole loss thing. I know why you do all this, and because you believe in it so strongly, it’s why I got involved in the first place. But you know how dangerous shit gets when emotions open the front door. You don’t think clearly, you miss shit, and you wind up in handcuffs. And not the fun kind.” His dark eyes narrow. “Now, convince me not to walk away from this, Jeff.”

Just tell him to kill the job now! Walk away and finally be happy with the life you have!

My head collapses against the seat cushion and I expel a deep sigh. Dammit, I’ve played this game for too long, and everyone is in it up to their necks. “That’s just it, Kegs. I don’t know. Ollie just told me the surveillance is close to being fixed, but I know Rand can get around it. I feel like he’s trying to throw us off, to keep shit hidden. But it doesn’t make any sense. He’s supposed to be on our side. He’s gonna be paid enough, that’s for sure.”

“Do you think he knows your fucking his beloved boss? You think he’s trying to sabotage you?”

“I don’t know.”

“It would be helpful if you could find out. I don’t want any surprises this time.”

“Once we get the tap on his phone line, we’ll have everything we need. As soon as this is done, you’ll all be very well compensated for putting up with my shit.”

“And what are you doing with your cut?”

I shake my head. “I need enough to cover my expenses. The rest goes back in the pot for the all people he’s screwed over.”

Kegs nods. “I figured you’d say that.”

“You guys are helping me fix this for a lot of other innocent people whose dreams got crushed. They need the money. I don’t.”

“And this is your dream, right? Putting your neck on the line for strangers?”

“They aren’t strangers. Every one of them is my dad, Kegs. I don’t want anyone to deal with the shit we did.”

“Pretty damned noble.”

I shrug. “My one redeeming quality. Now, get the fuck out of my car. I need to get fitted for a tux.”

Kegs smirks. “Fine. Go get your penguin suit. Just stop fucking around. I’m serious, Jeff.” His eyes darken. “You need to figure out how to get this done without getting us thrown in front of the firing squad. We’ve been patient. Now it’s time for you to deliver. Don’t screw it up this time.”

Kegs gets out of my car, and his words echo in my head as I drive toward the tuxedo rental place. I had my chance to pull the plug, but I couldn’t do it. What the hell is it going to take for me to walk away and try to live a normal life for once? I pull up in front and open the car door. Some fucking asshole speeds past, almost taking my door off its hinges. Fucker. I hope he wraps that Maserati around a palm tree.

Damon is waiting for me outside, talking to someone on his phone. “Hey, I’ve gotta go. Don’t panic. I’ll talk to you when we’re done. Love you.”

I smile. “Eva?”

He nods and holds open the door for me. “Yeah. She’s freaking out about her dress. Evidently, she’s lost a few pounds and now it needs to be altered again. Sometimes, it’s good to be a guy.”

I clap him on the back and he stiffens. Okay, so he’s not ready to be best friends just yet. I can swallow that. It’s a pretty fucking harsh pill to swallow, but I brought it on myself. “Damon, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You’ve done everything you said you would. You found a great girl to spend the rest of your life with. I’m really happy for you, and I want us to get off on the right foot.”

He looks at me. Doesn’t speak, doesn’t blink. Just stares. I can see the wheels turning. I just don’t know what’s actually processing behind those eyes.

“Good morning, gentlemen.” A tall, lithe blonde saunters toward us. “What can I help you with today?”

Damon pulls his gaze from me and focuses on the saleswoman. “We need two tuxes. Formal, black, bow ties.” He twists back toward me. “Bow ties are classic. I fucking hate those regular ties. Looks like you’re wearing a suit, you know?”

I snicker. “Whatever you want.”

The blonde smiles, exposing perfect white teeth. “I agree. Let me pull out a few options for you. I have a beautiful design from Armani that would look perfect on you both. I’ll pull in a few others from Tom Ford, Hugo Boss, and Calvin Klein so you can compare.”

Her gaze lingers on me for a second too long and Damon rolls his eyes. “Come on, Dad. Let’s look at shoes in the meantime.”

“So, how’s your mom been?” I ask. “She seems to be in a good place. Has a new guy. Is he treating her well?”

Damon picks up a shiny black shoe and shrugs. “To be honest, I’ve never met him. She doesn’t talk about him much, and I’m not sure if they’re really serious.”

“Really.” That’s unexpected. Kate doesn’t usually grandstand for anyone, least of all me. Although, it makes sense, considering how she was all over me the night of the party. It wasn’t like our divorce was particularly amicable, so lingering feelings weren’t something I’d expect. Of course, she also wanted to tear Ariana and her mother apart for standing too close to me.

I’ll never understand women.

“And what about your future in-laws? How are they?”

“They’re…interesting. They’re divorced, too. It’s been a long time. Eva handles it as well as she can under the circumstances.”

“What circumstances are those?”

“Her parents are at each others’ throats constantly. They get pretty nasty, and it’s not exactly easy to stomach, especially when we’ve had to be thrown together so much because of the wedding. Eva wants nothing more than to get out of L.A. and move as far away from them as possible, but she won’t because of her sister.”

Her sister. Yes, the one I just fucked on the corner of her desk. The one I can’t stop thinking about. The one I plan to send rocketing into orbit in a few short hours. “So they’re close.”

“Yeah, really close. I love Ari. She’s got a great sense of humor, fun to be around, smart as a whip. And she can drink like a sailor. My friends from law school love her.”

My spine stiffens. “So you spend a lot of time together socially?”

“When she can fit us into her schedule.” Damon picks up another shoe and holds it up to the other one. “I can’t tell the difference between these two.”

“Yeah, me neither.” I rub the back of my neck. “Do you double date a lot? Does Ariana have a boyfriend, too?”

He furrows his brow and picks up a third shoe that looks no different from the first two. “Nah, Eva likes to set her up, and she’ll agree to it to keep Eva happy. But she doesn’t really date unless Eva holds her head to the flame. Her parents’ divorce really messed her up, so she steers clear of relationships. Besides, she’s all about her job.”

The saleswoman struts back with an armful of black tuxedos for us to try, but my mind is focused solely on Ari and the things she let me do to her, as well as the things she’s doing to me. “Yeah, so she’s some PR powerhouse, right?”

“Yeah. Years of blood, sweat, and tears, and now she’s the most sought after publicist in town.”

We follow the blonde to the fitting rooms and she hands me three tuxes before sending me into one of the fitting rooms. They really aren’t conducive to carrying on a conversation about the emotional ineptitude and shark-like business savvy of his sister-in-law, and if I don’t drop the conversation now, he’s going to wonder why.

I strip out of my clothes and do a quick change, finagling the bowtie until it’s straight then walk out of the tiny enclosure. I swear I see the blonde’s nipples harden under her shirt when I walk out of the room.

“I love that,” she breathes, reaching out to smooth down the lapels. Her hands sit on my chest for a second longer than necessary. “I’m sure your wife will, too.”

“Ex-wife,” Damon volunteers as he joins us in front of the trio of mirrors. He smirks at me. “You clean up real nice, Dad.”

“Yes, he does,” the saleswoman murmurs, tracing a finger tip down the front of my shirt.

I’m used to the attention, but she’s damn blatant about it. And in front of my son. She’s already got the commission in the bag. Now it looks like she wants a little tip on top of that.

I force a smile and pull back enough to let her know I don’t want her eager fingers playing with the buttons on my shirt. I catch her narrowed eye glare, but I don’t give a fuck. My mission was to find out about Ariana, and now it looks like that ship has sailed.

Her eyes fall to Damon, who’s playing with his tie. “Do you need help, love?”

Damon frowns at his appearance in the mirror. “Maybe a regular tie would have been a better option after all. I’ve always sucked at tying these damn things.”

The saleswoman sidles up to him and within seconds, he’s got a perfect bow around his neck. He grins at her. “Thanks.”

She flashes a toothy smile back. “Anytime, handsome.”

I pull out a credit card. “Put them both on this. And two pairs of shoes, size 11.”

Blondie plucks the card from my outstretched hand, and without a word, slinks to the back of the store.

“I think you pissed her off. I bet she’s not used to that kind of rejection.” Damon snickers.

“Not really interested.” I take off the jacket and place it on the hanger.

“Why not? She’s hot. You need to move on, too.”

“It’s not really a great time.” I kick off the shoes. “I’d rather get myself settled before I jump into the dating game.”

“I hear that. Maybe get yourself some steady clients, build up your business.” Damon’s eyes look hopeful, and it kills me that I’m lying to him…to everyone.

“That’s the plan.” I head back into the fitting room. Ironic that this so-called plan never included falling under the spell of a woman – the one who’s made me feel things I thought had long been dead and buried, the one I can never have because she has the power to destroy everything, including me.

I change back into my clothes and open the fitting room door. The weight sitting on my shoulders is getting too heavy to bear. My life has been a string of deceitful acts and half-truths, and much as I want to leave everything behind and start over, it’s all I know.

Damon emerges from the fitting room with his tux in hand. “Hey, Dad. I want to ask you something. It would really mean a lot if you stood up for me at the wedding.”

“You want me to be your best man?” My throat tightens. Fuck, after everything I’ve done…after everything I haven’t done yet…

“Yeah.” He smiles. “If you’re good with it. Eva and I would love to have you up there with us.”

“There’s no other place I’d rather be.” And it’s the truth. Maybe this is the final sign. I finally have a chance to make this right, to choose my son over everything else. It feels good, better than any other scheme I’d carried out in the past. Justice is sweet, but not worth the devastation that’ll hit if I go forward with this plan. I can’t jeopardize it. Not now.

The only problem is, that decision isn’t entirely up to me, and there are three people who will have my ass in a sling if I have a sudden change of heart now.