Chapter 10
“You don’t have to count your money, Hope,” Matt said to her five hours later. “I’m broke and have no properties. The bank has two thousand, four hundred and three dollars, and no properties either. It’s clear. You won.”
Hope went right along counting, occasionally leaning over the coffee table to jot down her figures. She knew she’d won, but wanted to make it official. “I won,” she declared two minutes later. Matt stretched out over the carpet and covered his eyes with his arm.
“I thought you weren’t a sore loser,” she teased.
“I’m not,” he grumbled from the floor. “But nobody likes losing this badly to a sore winner. No wonder Johnny warned me. What did you do to him?”
“I once beat him so badly, he cried. But that was hardly my fault.” Suddenly, her win didn’t feel so good. It hit her then that five hours of playing Monopoly with her might have chased off any friendship or attraction he’d felt for her. It hit her doubly hard that she cared.
She watched as the corner of Matt’s mouth went up. Maybe he didn’t think she was that bad. “I bet you’re the type who flips the board over when she’s losing,” he said.
“I haven’t done that since I was seven,” she lied. He raised his arm just so he could raise his eyebrow at her. “Fine, since I was twelve,” she admitted. He raised his other eyebrow. “Okay, okay!” she said, throwing her money on the table. “I flipped a board two weeks ago. But it was Alex’s fault. He used his FBI skills to coerce Tyler into selling him Park Avenue. It was clearly not fair,” she explained, hating that she felt all funny inside. She was stronger than this! A man who couldn’t lose to her was not worthy of her friendship. Unless he was Johnny.
She put the game away and began walking around the living room, looking at the pictures that were strewn around, not thinking he’d mind. He’d wanted her to come in with him, after all, and he’d told her to make herself at home. She’d actually wanted to look at the picture gallery wall before, when she’d been helping him water the plants, but hadn’t wanted to show too much interest.
Now that he was sulking like a baby, she could look to her heart’s content. The family room and kitchen were cozy, with pine everywhere, a sage green, rust-orange, and taupe color scheme, and a fireplace in front of the coffee table where they’d played.
She picked up a framed photograph of Chuck E. Cheese with his arm around Matt from a side table. The cake in front of him had the number eight on it. She smiled. Matt had been a cute, scrawny little kid. The gold in his hazel eyes had stood out even more against his dark skin when he’d been a child because his eyes had looked so big in his little face. And he didn’t look comfortable with Chuck at all. Maybe his excuse for not taking pictures was true. He definitely didn’t look like he wanted to be there.
She glanced over at Matt, who looked like he’d fallen asleep, and walked over to the picture gallery on the wall between the family room and the kitchen. After looking at a few rows of pictures, she realized there were no pictures of a young Matt and a father, though there were many pictures of him and his mom. They didn’t look alike, his mom being blond, fair and with bright green eyes, and she guessed Matt either favored his father or was adopted. There was so much she didn’t know about him. There were also pictures of his mom and Matt and another man, but Matt was easily in his late teens and twenties in those pictures. The youngest he looked in any photo was about as young as he looked in the Chuck E. Cheese picture, eight. Eight was also the age he’d said he’d been when he’d moved to the Dayton region. Why weren’t there any pictures of him before that?
Above the fireplace, looking down at Matt while he napped, was a portrait of his mom and the man she guessed was Matt’s stepfather. They looked happy. Everything about the home felt warm, comfortable, and lived in.
She picked up Zeus, who had been lounging on the sofa, took him over to Matt, and sat down next to him. “You were right. Looking into Zeus’s eyes made me feel better. Do you want to try and bond with him?” She placed Zeus on Matt’s chest, but Zeus hopped off. Hope scrambled to her knees and reached across Matt’s chest to catch him, but the little mutt was too fast for her. “I, uh, guess he already bonded with the sofa.”
She was attempting to casually crawl her way back across the chest she was discovering was hard and muscled when he reached up and gently cupped her cheek. She froze, one hand on his chest, her head hovering above his. “That’s all right, Zeus isn’t the one I want to bond with right now,” he said.
Her heart raced. “You’re not mad that I’m a sore winner?” she asked.
The corner of his mouth lifted. “No. It was a fun five hours.”
She smiled into his eyes, feeling a rush of warmth and relief, and something she couldn’t quite define. “It was fun. We talked, right? And we laughed. That’s what I like about long board games.”
“That and the winning and gloating.”
She bit back a smile, because he seemed more amused than put off, and before she knew what was happening, his hand had slipped to the back of her neck, his thumb was gently caressing her skin there, and she was falling. He smelled so good. All male. The moment their lips met, her heart stopped, only to start back up at a dizzying pace when his mouth began moving over hers, skimming, grazing and nibbling every nerve there to sweet life. The feel of his beard against the soft skin around her lips heightened the sensations, and she moaned.
When he groaned in response, she touched her tongue to his, needing that contact for some reason, and feeling as though she’d died and been revived when he stilled and allowed her to savor the fireworks going off in her body. She ached for more, and when she began stroking his tongue, slowly and deeply, he rolled her onto her side, one hand anchoring her waist, the other anchoring her neck, and kissed her until he became as tangled up in her mouth as she was in his. At first, she was only aware of the delicious, life-affirming physical sensations she hadn’t felt in forever. But after a while, as old pain in her heart began to recede, she became aware of it, and the sensations began to hurt.
Hope ended the kiss by pulling away and burying her face in his neck. She needed time to understand the pain, but she wasn’t ready to leave him. He was so warm, and felt and smelled so good…
“What’s wrong?” he asked, hugging her to him.
“Nothing. That was nice. Really nice.”
She felt him smile against the top of her head. “Nice?”
She laughed softly. “You know what it was, Matt. You don’t need me to say it. It’s just—I don’t know.” She turned her head a bit, sighed, and caught sight of the portrait perched on the fireplace mantel. “Your mother is looking down at us. Doesn’t that make you feel weird?”
He grinned. “Not one bit.”
“Are you two close?”
“We are. She and my stepdad are my best friends.” He turned to look at the portrait, too. “In fact, I swear neither she nor my stepdad were smiling that widely when we came in. They’re probably thrilled I finally brought a girl—er, a woman home.”
Hope pulled away to look at his face. “Did Marty or Johnny warn you not to call me a girl? Because those two really enjoy taking every little argument we’ve ever had literally.”
“No, but they warned me not to call you a cookie.”
“Well, then, that was a fair warning. But why would you call me a cookie?”
“I said you were one tough cookie.”
“I guess that’s okay. As long as you don’t mind me calling you one tough nut to crack.”
“I’m fine with that. As long as you don’t crack my—” She elbowed him and he laughed.
But something niggled at her. She rolled onto her back, away from him, so she could think. The moment she saw the portrait again, she knew what it was. “Why do you always do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“Turn the conversation away from you? Either by focusing it on someone else or by using humor.”
“Habit.” He found her hand. “I’m interested in other people, and I’m generally in a good mood, so humor finds me. But I didn’t realize I’d just done that, and I didn’t know it bothered you.”
“It doesn’t, it’s just that you know so much about me, but I don’t know anything about you.”
“What do you want to know?” His thumb began caressing hers. Zings shot off from her thumb to her chest, and she stayed very still, afraid she’d twitch and give herself away.
She thought about the pictures on the wall, and of how he’d said his mom and stepdad were his best friends. “Your mom and stepdad seem young and full of energy.”
It wasn’t a question, just an observation, but he seemed to take it as one because he answered, “They’re both only forty-four.”
Hope turned to face him. “Forty-four?” He nodded, but didn’t say anything else. That meant that his mom had been only sixteen when she’d had him. Maybe that was why he didn’t talk about her much, to protect her from judgmental people. Hope had encountered plenty of them herself when she’d married young, so she could understand.
What else could she ask? She had other questions, but it didn’t feel right to ask him about his dad. “How come there aren’t any pictures of you from before you were eight?”
“They got lost during the move to Dayton.”
That also made sense. She was quiet for a little while, until he asked, “Is that all?”
Hope looked at him. “You know there’s only so much I can ask, Matt. I have social graces, you know, despite what Marty and Johnny might say.”
This time, it was Matt who pulled away. Now they were both looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to say, Hope. So I’ll just be honest. Yes, I know a lot about you. I know you married young. But I don’t know how you and Derek met, or what happened during your marriage, save for something I suspect but you never mention, or all the things you felt and still feel for him. I also know you and your sisters had a tough childhood, because of what came out during Gracie’s press conference months ago, but seeing how Sherry is with the three of you, and knowing she’s always lived here and had the café forever, it’s hard to imagine why the three of you had it rough. And yet, I don’t need the answers to any of those things to know that you’re kind, and deep, and tough, and smart, and fun, and good. Can’t you see I’m good, too?”
The pain that had been ebbing filled Hope’s heart until it felt like it was going to burst. The strange thing was that she wanted it to, because she wanted the pain gone. Her heart would still be there. Deflated, but unpressured. Ready to be filled again… maybe. And the only way she could think of to push it past resistance was to get all tangled up in Matt’s warmth and scent and goodness again. Because he was good. He was right. She didn’t know much, but she knew that.
“Matt?” she whispered. He looked at her, and she extended her arm to him. He picked up her hand and made his way over to her by kissing his way up her arm. When he reached her neck, he began nuzzling her, and the pressure in her heart built. When he reached her mouth, he kissed her so gently, so deeply, and so thoroughly, that tears fell. He wiped them away with his thumbs. “Sweet agony?” he asked, and she nodded, because it was exactly right.
He lowered his open mouth and slipped his hands underneath her shirt. Her breath hitched, and the pressure inside climbed. Her entire world consisted only of his mouth and his touch. She slid her hands down his back and began caressing the skin underneath his shirt. So out of mind was she that it wasn’t until his hands came down to still hers that she realized the skin on his back was rough, dry, and uneven. “Matt?”
He stopped nuzzling her neck and sighed. “I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you.”
“Was I hurting you?” she asked.
“No. It was a long time ago. I don’t feel anything there.”
“Then why did you stop me from touching you?”
He raised himself on one elbow to look at her. “I didn’t want to break the spell.”
“You broke it by stilling my hands. I hadn’t even noticed.”
He smiled and touched her bottom lip with the tip of his finger. “Flattering, but trust me, you would have noticed.”
“Can—can I see?” He heaved out an exaggerated sigh, but complied by rolling off her and lifting his shirt. She got up on her knees to see. There were swaths of raised red and white leathery skin all along his lower back and left side. “What happened?” she asked, gently tracing the angry scars. The muscles underneath his skin jumped.
“I tipped a large pot of boiling water on myself.”
“Matt—I’m so sorry.”
“I hardly remember.” Maybe it was his flat tone, but something told her that was a lie.
“How old were you?”
“Seven.”
She bent down to trail kisses over the scars. His breath hitched. “You said it doesn’t hurt.”
“Sweet agony, Hope. Sweet agony.” He rolled onto his back. “Come here,” he said, and opened his arms. But instead of falling into his arms again, she leaned against the sofa, pulled her knees up to her chest, and stared at the fire. She didn’t know what was happening, but she knew that, on some level, too much of Matt was closed off to her. And maybe that’s how people felt about her. That too much of her was closed off. Maybe it’s what had prompted her employees to betray her to Matt. She was good to them, and they knew it, but it wasn’t enough.
Without looking at him, she began to talk, to show him that as hard as it was, she could at least try to give what she asked of others. “Derek and I met when my mom moved us into the trailer park where he lived. His dad was a mean drunk, my mom was a sad one, and neither of us liked spending much time at home. I don’t know how we became best friends—we just did. And then, when we were older, we fell in love. We really, really did. As much as two kids could. He was this gorgeous bad boy on the outside, but on the inside, all he wanted was peace. He longed for peace. And I was the tough, smart girl with tons of plans. He would smile and go along with them all. I think the first time I felt resistance from him was right after we got married. But I couldn’t grasp that that’s what it was.” She stifled a sigh, and Zeus hopped down from the couch to cuddle beside her.
Matt didn’t move and didn’t say a word, but he was as stiff as she’d ever seen him. “I was rushed to the hospital one day… and I never saw Derek again.” Hope furiously blinked back the tears she no longer thought she had in her, realizing that she couldn’t, in fact, do what she was asking him to do. But she had tried. To feel closer to him, she had tried.
When she looked up, she saw Matt was sitting up, watching her, his eyes sad and unsure. “I’m sorry, Hope,” he said, and she knew that he was.
She looked away. “I guess that I’m not over everything that happened. But that’s the outline of my youth, Matt. The things that you were wondering about.”
Matt stared at her then, clearly stunned. “What I was wondering about… ?” His eyes took on a look of deep consternation. “Hope, I didn’t mean to imply that you should tell me the things I wondered about, I meant—”
“I know. You meant the opposite. That I didn’t have to tell you everything, and I didn’t. You know I didn’t. But I was willing to try, and I shared what I could because I never expect anyone to try to do anything I’m not willing to try to do myself.”
” So you’re saying you expect me to do the same? Give you an outline of my life so that I can prove to you that I’m willing to share? Or to at least try to share?”
“No. That’s not it. It’s not that black and white.” She sighed and looked away from him and at Zeus. “I can’t let you… touch me…when instinct tells me you’ll always hold back. I won’t make that mistake again.”
Matt felt overwhelmed. He knew she wasn’t talking about physical touch. He’d managed to reach her, and now she was telling him that he was already losing her. Because she sensed that he would always hold back.
But his story…wasn’t even his to tell. And he couldn’t even tell her that much. Not even an outline of an outline, not without lying. And she was obviously sensing the lies. What part was his to tell? “My whole life, I was the good, boring kid who always got good grades and did as he was told. I was an all-star baseball player in high school. I’ve had three semi-serious girlfriends.”
And then he was stuck. What else could he say? Thoughts came up and were quickly discarded. My girlfriends all pressured my mom too much for stories about when I was little. No. I’m protective of my mom? No. I was relieved when she decided to give Logan, my stepdad, a chance? No. Almost anything he could say would bring about questions he couldn’t answer. “I’m close to my mom and stepdad.” She already knew that. “I moved here when I was eight and my mom and I really liked—” he stopped himself before he could say what he and his mom had spoken about in private those early days, that they really liked that the region was beaten down and was getting a second chance. But that had never been about the region. Not really. “We really liked that the secrets of flight were discovered here.” That was true, too. Because more than anything else, his mom had wanted for them to find their wings. But his hesitation had probably cost him, like it had before. It’s why he avoided talking about himself.
Hope offered him an endearing, lopsided smile. He took a photograph in his mind, somehow knowing he’d want to come back to it. She was showing herself in that smile. “It’s not you, Matt. And it’s not me. Our good parts fit, but our messy parts don’t.”
Before he could ask her where that left them, he heard a key turning in the door. Like two teenagers caught making out in their parents’ basement, both he and Hope took a frenzied look around while they combed through their hair and rearranged their clothes. When their eyes met, they laughed. “You told me your parents wouldn’t be back till Tuesday!” Hope hissed, just as the door opened.
Matt popped up, but Hope stayed where she was. “Coward,” he said out of the corner of his mouth.
* * *
“It’s just Matt,” his stepdad called out to his mom after peeking in.
“Matt!” His mom came in behind Logan. “You finally got rid of the Vega and bought that gorgeous Mercedes?”
“I told you it had to be him and not a thief,” Logan told her. “Why would someone who owns a one-hundred-thousand-dollar-plus car want to steal from us?”
His mom gave him a pained look. “You know that wasn’t—”
“It’s not my car,” Matt interrupted before his mom could continue. He held his hand out to Hope, who ignored it and quickly scrambled up on her own.
“It’s my car. I’m sorry I didn’t announce my presence earlier.” His mom and stepdad stared as Hope, the business pro, walked out from behind the sofa, offered her hand, and took control of the situation. “I’m Hope Piper, and Matt and I are working on a public-relations campaign together. We stopped here on our way back from a photo op at the Sweetcreek MetroPark so he could water your plants, but got distracted with a game of Monopoly. I’m kind of obsessed with it.” She grinned, and Matt shook his head in admiration. With a sprinkle of sentences and a dash of charm, she’d explained her presence and shut down conjecture. After his mom and Logan shook her hand, she stepped back and said, “You have a beautiful home.”
His mom’s gaze hopped from Hope to Matt and Matt’s stomach sank. He knew the look in his mom’s eyes. Conjecture had not been shut down. Matt subtly shook his head, to let her know it wasn’t what she was thinking. Well, at least not anymore. Hope had been clear: their messy parts didn’t fit. His mom settled her gaze back on Hope. “Thank you, Hope. And I’m Sabrina, by the way, and this is my husband, Logan. We were surprised because the Vega has been with us for twenty years. I’m ready to see it go. Matt isn’t.” She smiled.
Matt finally shook himself out of his surprise. “My mom and stepdad,” he added, as if it wasn’t already obvious. “Did you decide to cut your vacation short, or did I get the date wrong?” he asked.
“You had it right,” Logan said. “We were originally going to stay in Miami two extra nights after the cruise, but when they announced another snowstorm was going to hit southwestern Ohio on Tuesday, we decided not to take a chance.”
Eyes wide, his mom nodded. “Remember when you got stuck in South Carolina for three days with Vanessa? You two broke up over it.” Out of the corner of her eye, his mom was really looking to see Hope’s reaction. It was doubtful she’d get one. Nevertheless, he peeked, too… and was warmed to see Hope was looking a little too disinterested. Almost like she was working at it.
“I remember—but I doubt you two would break up over a flight delay.” He smiled and clapped his hands. “Well, I can’t wait to hear all about your trip, but you guys must be tired. Hope and I will get out of your way.”
“Wait—we called for pizza along the way, and it should be here in about five minutes. They only deliver two or more, so we’ll have plenty. You two should stay for dinner,” his mom offered.
“Dinner already?” Hope glanced at the clock and looked truly taken aback. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s later than I thought. We really should be getting back.”
Hope began to gather her things. “How about pizza and another round of Monopoly?” Logan offered. Hope stilled, and Matt could swear he saw her ears perk. Logan was pretty adept at reading people. It’s how he’d slowly won his mom over. Clearly, he’d read both his wife’s wishes for Hope and Matt to remain, and Hope’s “joke” about being obsessed with the game.
“Monopoly?” Hope turned to look at both Sabrina and Logan. Her hands fiddled with the gloves she was holding.
Sabrina nodded. “We love board games. Friday nights used to be game night. I miss that.”
Matt coughed to hide his laughter. Hope was looking at Sabrina the way Zeus looked at Matt when he was cooking up steak. “Are you sure?” Hope asked as she began putting her outerwear back down. “Because I can be…effusive when I play.”
“She really, really likes to win,” Matt clarified.
Logan sighed and shook his head. “I hear you. It’s like an itch, right? No matter how much you scratch it, it never goes away.”
Hope grinned her spontaneous grin—the one that always reminded him how much he liked her, and the one he regularly tried, and failed, to provoke. “Exactly, are you the same way? Because if you are, maybe we shouldn’t play together,” she said, even as she made her way over to the coffee table where she’d left the boxed-up game. Matt shook his head. She really couldn’t resist.
“I think we’ll be okay,” Sabrina said, meeting Matt’s eyes and clamping down on a smile. Matt knew then his mom already liked Hope.
Four hours later, Matt wasn’t so sure Hope liked Logan. He was worse than she was, and he’d won. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” he asked Hope, as he put the game away.
“It sure was,” she said through teeth she hadn’t quite managed to unclench. Matt and Sabrina let loose the laughter they’d been holding in since Hope had been bankrupted after landing on Logan’s pricey empire three times in a row.
“I told you it wasn’t all skill. Luck has something to do with it,” Matt told her.
Logan frowned. “Luck nothing. That was pure strategy.”
Hope jerked her thumb Logan’s way. “Was I that bad before?” They’d all bonded over four hours of laughing at Logan’s and Hope’s antics.
“No. You were much worse. I’m feeling sorry for you not a whit.”
Hope’s lips twitched at that, and Matt wished he could kiss those lips again. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they’d seemed before his mother and stepdad had gotten home. As if in silent agreement, both Hope and Matt got up at the same time. “Do you mind driving us home? To my home, I mean. To where your car is?” she clarified again and then again. Matt tried hard not to smile. “Sorry,” she said with a stifled yawn. “That was a mentally exhausting game. I’m not sure I can think straight, let alone drive straight.”
They said their goodbyes, but Matt noticed Hope was noncommittal about a rematch. When they were in the car and on their way home with Zeus curled up into a little ball on Hope’s lap, she said, “I know I’m never going to see them again, but that was fun, and I liked them. I hope I didn’t make too bad of an impression. I probably should’ve said no to Monopoly.”
Matt looked over at her and laughed. “As if you could.” She shrugged and looked out the window. “But no, you didn’t make a bad impression. You were real. And you were fun. Not every-single-Friday-game-night kind of fun, but once-every-two-months-game-night kind of fun,” he answered truthfully, and her reflection on the glass showed him it made her smile.” I suspect that’s why your family doesn’t want to play with you anymore—you wore them out.”
She cleared her throat. “I suspect you’re right.”
“But your family would still see you every day of the week if they could.” He looked over at her and asked, “And there’s no better way to get to know someone than to observe them with their family, right? I feel like that’s partly how I’ve gotten to know important things about you—by seeing how much your family and friends care about you.” She didn’t answer, and he didn’t press. His meaning was clear.
Somewhere along the way, she fell asleep. When they got to her apartment, he had a hell of a time waking her up. It made him shake his head. She really did have some sort of sleep-glitch in her brain. Gracie’s light was on, and he decided to call her for help. She’d know the best way to wake her, and she probably had to set the alarms they had set up in case Hope sleepwalked.
Gracie met him out front with a raised eyebrow. “That sure was a long day. She’s exhausted! Have you been snowshoeing this entire time? Is she cold, too?”
“Do the accusations ever stop with any of you?” he asked, feeling genuinely hurt. He was unreadable, they all said, and so he was automatically untrustworthy? What did a guy have to do? Take a shot, like Alex, or shoot a sociopath trying to kill one of them, like Josh? They were impossible!
Gracie took a deep breath and turned clear eyes his way. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I’m just not used to seeing Hope so tired, that’s all. She’s got endless energy. It’s, uh, the emotional stuff that tires her.”
Matt looked away. Well, there had been emotional stuff, all right. “She lost at Monopoly.”
“Oh. Well, then, that explains it.” They shared a smile.
Later, when Matt drove up to his outdoor garage and got out, someone yelled, “Get that car fixed already!” out a window. Zeus woke up and barked right back. But Matt’s shoulders slumped, knowing they were right. He hadn’t meant to get home so late, when the racket could wake everyone up, but still he had to do something about the car. As he walked up to the back door with Zeus curled in his arm, he got a funny feeling in the back of his neck, as if he was being watched. But it wasn’t like the tingle he’d gotten when he’d known Hope had been looking at him on Friday. This feeling was cold and unpleasant.
He stepped back to look around, thinking the person who’d yelled at him was probably giving him the evil eye, and maybe he could call out an apology and promise to fix the car, but the few windows he could see had the drapes closed. An old, cold fear gripped his heart, and this time, calm, rational thoughts didn’t help dispel the feeling.
It had to be the house. Or rather, what he’d learned about it. Some feelings, he knew, weren’t rational. Maybe he should sell it. In fact, maybe he should leave Spinning Hills. He liked everyone, but he’d never fit in. The town was like a tribe, and the tribe was asking for more than he was used to giving. It even wanted him to fix his and his mom’s unfixable, beloved getaway car.