Brandon only noticed the beautiful, cloudless morning sky in passing. He wished that he could pause to enjoy it, but he had an urgent mission to complete. He wanted to find Levi as soon as possible. He had so many things to say. He was sorry for his clueless fixation on money. He needed to trust Levi’s ability to make his own choices. Most of all, he wanted Levi to know that he was in love.

As he emerged from the final portage, Brandon saw a single canoe in the center of Lone Cedar Lake, and he instantly knew that it was Levi. Shoving off from the shore, Brandon paddled both quickly and quietly to reach the center of the lake as soon as possible.

As he drew closer, confusion began to reign. The canoe was visible, but there was no sign of Levi. Nothing rose above the edges of the boat. Brandon started to paddle faster fearing that he would find Levi ill in the hull of the canoe or something even worse. Brandon’s heart pounded in his chest, and a shiver ran up his spine as he abandoned concerns about the splashes of water raised by his paddle.

With perhaps twenty yards to go, Brandon spotted Levi’s sneakers and lower legs inside the canoe at one end. They weren’t moving. Brandon shouted, “Levi!” When there was no response, he yelled again. “Levi!!”

Brandon didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he saw fingers grip the side of the canoe and watched Levi slowly pull himself to a sitting position. Brandon gasped and took a deep breath filling his lungs with air.

Levi blinked his eyes while Brandon’s canoe pulled close. “What’s wrong? I think I fell asleep. The last thing I remember was looking up at the white, puffy clouds.”

“You scared me.”

“How? The morning was so gorgeous, and I needed to clear my thoughts before going back to the hospital. Despite everything going on, I wanted to pay attention to nature. It calms my nerves.”

Brandon reached out for Levi’s canoe and settled their boats side by side. “I have to tell you something, Levi. No, I have to tell you multiple things.”

“Before you start, I have something to tell you. I found out something I never knew. I think it changes everything. I’m not completely sure how yet, but I know that it changes things. I have to see Grandma Daley and talk to her about it. I hope she can speak.”

Brandon cocked his head to one side. “What’s it about? Can it wait? I need to say what I have to say.”

Levi looked directly at Brandon and ignored the question about waiting. In a flat voice, he said, “I know what happened to Grandpa.”

Brandon’s forehead furrowed. He peered into Levi’s canoe seeing only a small backpack, and he gazed at the shore of the lake in the distance. Breaking his silence, he asked, “How did you find out? How did something change? You’re the only person around here.”

“He killed himself, Brandon.”

The words hung in the air. Brandon had to repeat them to himself inside his head to understand the meaning. “How do you know?”

“I found the note in the cabin. Grandpa wrote it, and Grandma hid it in her dresser drawer.”

Brandon sat in silence for a moment. He didn’t know how to respond. Murmuring, “Oh my God, Levi,” he reached out offering a hug.

Levi leaned forward to grip him tightly, and they nearly capsized the canoes. Levi muttered, “I guess that’s not the best idea.”

“What does it mean? I don’t know what you do with that kind of news. It has to be a shock.”

Levi shook his head. “I don’t know either. I have to talk to Grandma. She’s known for all these years and kept it to herself.”

“Levi, I have something to say, and I never say something like this lightly. I know that I need to say it, and I know saying it means I’m taking on a lot of responsibility.”

Levi held up a hand. “Brandon, stop. I can’t handle this. The world is moving way too fast. It has to stop. It really needs to stop.”

“But I love you, Levi. I came all the way out here from Arrowhead Falls this morning to tell you that. I love you. I need to apologize to you, too.”

Brandon stared into Levi’s eyes hoping for some sort of positive response. Instead, Levi looked back with a dim, almost lifeless, gaze. He shook his head. “Don’t. I don’t know why you would. I’m still that fucked up kid from Missouri. I know that. For a minute, I thought…but then the letter. Don’t apologize. Don’t…anything.” Levi shook his head again.

Brandon leaned forward and nearly turned his canoe over again before balancing himself. “No, Levi. Maybe that was the scared guy back in high school, but look what you’ve become. You’re the most caring guy I’ve ever known, and you’re so strong and handsome. It’s sort of like the ugly duckling, or it’s like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I’m honored to see it. I can’t wait to see what you are in the future.”

Levi blinked. “The Ugly Duckling is just a fairy tale, Brandon. In real life, the swan always has a broken wing. It makes it impossible to fly.”