“That was fantastic,” Tammy said, clapping her hands together.

I breathed a mental sigh of relief and set down the plate I was holding. “Once I got over the camera.”

“That’s the hardest part,” she agreed and came forward, hugging me tight as she whispered in my ear, “Nothing’s set in stone, of course. But this is going to knock everyone’s socks off.”

I pulled back slightly, taking in her kind blue eyes, porcelain skin, and curly red hair. She was beautiful in an Irish nymph sort of way. “You think?”

A nod. “I know.”

My knees felt a little weak, but it was from joy and relief, rather than fear for a change.

“Well, phew.”

She laughed and slipped her arm around my waist. “Now come on, we have time for an early dinner before I have to get you back to the airport.”

“That sounds perfect,” I said.

New York wasn’t so bad, I thought an hour later, eyeing the gorgeous plate in front of me and not wanting to ruin its beauty by sticking my fork in it.

“Pork belly with caramelized walnuts, a cranberry vinaigrette, and micro greens,” the server said.

“Aka very tasty bacon,” Tammy said with a wink.

“This looks incredible.” The pork belly was a gorgeous brown, and when topped with the crimson-colored dressing and edible flowers, the whole effect was stunning.

“If you keep looking at it, it’ll just get cold,” Tammy whispered.

“True,” I said with a grin and dug in.

Then promptly moaned.

So, so good.

“Okay,” I said once I’d finished the entire portion, stopping just short of licking the plate. “New York may not have the wide open skies and fresh air of Utah, but it’s not the worst.”

“If you love food, there’s no better place,” Tammy said.

At that moment, as a plate with a gorgeous chocolate tart was being set down in front of me, I found I couldn’t disagree.

“Mom!” Justin and I walked through the door to find the kids sitting at the round table. Kel was perched on the countertop, eyeing the coffee pot like it was a pile of gold and she was a marauding pirate.

“Have a cup,” I told her as the kids jumped up from the table and hugged me tightly. Their little arms could squeeze hard when they were motivated. I squeezed back. “Missed you little munchkins.”

“I already had one,” my sister said with a pouty lip.

Justin scooped up Abby and wrapped his free arm around Kel’s waist. “Decaf?” he offered.

My sister frowned. “What’s the point?”

“The taste?” Justin said.

“If there’s no caffeine, there’s no point,” Kelly declared. “I’d rather have my calories in chocolate. Or—oh!” Her eyes found mine as I stood and the kids ran back to the table to finish their breakfast. “Can you make that blueberry pie again? With the fresh whipped cream? And the crumbly crust?”

I laughed. “Sure. Let me get the kids off to school, and I’ll whip one up.”

“Oh,” Kel’s eyes flicked over my shoulder. “I thought Rob was taking them.”

“Rob’s at work—” I turned, words stopping when I saw my husband standing in the doorway behind me.

“Can Daddy drive us, Mom?” Max asked.

Traitor.

But I smiled and nodded, not looking at Rob as I crossed to the fridge and pulled open the door. “Of course.”

I didn’t miss the look Kel and Justin exchanged as an awkward silence fell over the kitchen. A silence that was broken when Allie spilled her glass of milk all over the table and floor.

Perfect. A distraction was just what I needed.

I snatched up a towel and a bottle of cleaner, reassuring Allie when she would have started crying that it was just an accident and not a big deal. I bustled around, mopping up the milk, pouring another glass for Allie, grabbing a pack of cinnamon rolls out of the freezer and shoving them in Kel’s hands as I all but pushed her, Justin, and, consequently, Abby out the door.

My sister gave me squinty eyes over her shoulder and I knew a hard conversation was coming soon.

Ugh.

But Rob was behind me, still in the doorway, still quiet and staring. I called goodbye to my sister, Justin, and Abby then whipped up two lunches for the kids and crammed them into their backpacks, which I plunked onto their shoulders.

“Hurry now,” I said, “or you’ll be late for school.”

Hugs and kisses to the kids, swirling around, avoiding my husband, being a busy bee pretending all is perfect.

“You forgot to kiss Dad, Mom,” Max said. “You always kiss Dad.”

I froze, eyes locking with Rob’s.

He leaned in. I bent forward, closed my eyes, and waited.

His lips hit my . . . cheek.

“All right, buddy,” Rob said. “Let’s hit it before we’re late.”

I thought I was a strong person, but in that moment I felt very weak.

The kids were out the door. The house was quiet. I was alone and holding a carton of blueberries.

What the hell was I doing with my life?