She gently urged him back into the pillows and then kissed down his chest, following the treasure trail of the soft hair down his abdomen. She wrapped her hand around his shaft and brought her mouth down over the tip of his cock. The warmth from her tongue instantly sent shivers of pleasure through his gut. He placed a gentle hand on top of her dark hair, encouraging her to continue. She lapped at his pre-cum, while her hand stroked him back to full attention. Her moans while she pleasured him were enough to send him right over the edge but he wanted to be inside another hole, so he did his best to focus on not exploding down her throat while she lapped, licked and sucked his cock.
“Nora,” he choked, barely able to squeak out her name. “God, this feels amazing, but I haven’t fucked a woman in a long time. I don’t think I can last much longer.”
Nora pulled her mouth slowly off him, her eyes locked to his.
“Sorry,” she giggled, “allow me.”
She pulled the condom out of the wrapper and rolled it over his rock hard erection before shimmying up his body. As soon as she was in his arms he playfully flipped her on her back, pressing his lips onto hers. She opened her legs for him and he quickly penetrated her. He fucked her slowly and tenderly, holding her wrists above her head, her beautiful breasts pressing against his chest. He wanted her to cum again and tried his best to bring her there, but his impatient cock betrayed him. Her soft mews and hot breath on his neck pushed him to the edge of madness, but the moment she wrapped her legs tightly around his ass he was a goner. He buried his face into her neck, trying to control his groans, slamming into her until he came. It was one of the most intense climaxes he had ever experienced. It felt as though he was sharing the core of his soul with her.
He rested for a moment or two while he caught his breath. She patiently waited, gently stroking his back with her fingertips. It was a tender moment and he didn’t want it to end, but he was certain she couldn’t support his weight much longer. He shifted up on his forearms, and was greeted by the sweetest smile. He kissed her forehead and rolled himself off of her.
“I’ll be back. Don’t move,” he requested cheerfully, making his way to the bathroom.
When he returned, Nora was sitting on the edge of the bed, the sheets pulled up around her. Her hair was tousled and tangled, wildly framing her flushed face. She looked like a well fucked angel. He sat on the bed beside her and offered her a gentle kiss.
“Well, that was some greeting,” he teased, taking her hands in his own.
She chuckled softly, nodding her head in agreement.
“Would you have preferred a simple hello?” she asked playfully.
Gage raised his brows, shaking his head slowly.
“Absolutely not. I liked the apron.”
“I thought you would... are you hungry?” she asked suddenly, as though she just realized they hadn’t eaten yet.
“Famished. It smells delicious,” he admitted, reaching down for his clothes. “Shall we get dressed?”
“Yes. I’m just going to wash up. I’ll meet you out there?” she agreed.
She stood up, modestly pulling the sheet around her before leaning in to kiss him.
“Can I do anything to help?” he asked, pulling his boxers up.
“Just open the wine on the counter. I won’t be long.”
He wrapped one arm around her and pulled her in for a kiss before she could slip away.
* * *
Nora had prepared an amazing meal and Gage helped himself to two large portions, having worked up an incredible appetite. He felt completely satisfied in every way. They made their way into the living room to cuddle on the couch and polish off the bottle of wine. She snuggled under his arm and rested her head on his chest while they listed to some smooth jazz. He affectionately played with her hair, just happy to be near her. She seemed unusually quiet and Gage wondered what was on her mind, or if something was troubling her.
“You ok?” he asked quietly, kissing the top of her head. She sighed softly and nodded, tightening her embrace as though to reassure him.
“I’m good. I just have a lot on my mind,” she offered quietly, lacing her fingers into his. “It just feels so good.”
“What does, my beauty?” Gage asked, bringing her fingers to his lips.
“Relaxing on the couch, listening to music, just chilling together. It feels nice,” she explained quietly, her voice filled with sincerity.
He couldn’t agree more. The more time he spent with Nora, the better it was. He hadn’t expected things to unfold the way they had that day, but he was happy they did. Nora surprised him, but in the best way possible. Admittedly, he was a shy guy and not the best at reading signals, so he didn’t mind a bit that she initiated their love making. It was fucking hot! She had this way of coaxing out his playful side, making him feel more self-assured.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, curious about her take on the day.
She was quiet for a long time before she finally spoke.
“Honestly, I’m just thinking about you and me,” she admitted, sitting up so they could see one another.
“And?” he pressed, hoping she was on the same page as he was.
She smiled warmly at him, her eyes glowing in the candlelight, but said nothing. She looked happy.
“Come here,” he said, leaning in towards her.
She offered her lips to him and they kissed, tenderly, romantically. He let his hand slowly explore her body, first tracing her cheek bones then moving down the angles of her collar bones to her cleavage. He slowly opened the zipper that held together the front of her blouse, revealing her lacy black bra. She giggled as he nibbled on her neck. He had to admit, it turned him on that she was ticklish, especially when she squirmed and moaned underneath him. It made his cock rock hard.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said, standing up and lifting her off the couch.
She blew out the candles and let him lead her into the bedroom, where they made love again.
CHAPTER 16
NORA
When Nora woke up, Gage was already gone. He had told her he had an early morning practice and then a flight to catch so he probably wouldn’t be there when she woke up. He held her after they had made love the night before, and talked quietly before they fell asleep, with him spooned around her.
At one point during their conversation she asked him straight up if he would have initiated sex that night if she hadn’t. He said he didn’t think he would have, but that he was happy she did. She asked him what had been holding him back and he admitted that in the past he had jumped into bed with women too quickly and it never seemed to work out. He had been down the same road time and time again and he was still single. When he met her he knew he wanted things to be different, so he wanted to take things slow, allow them time to get to know each other, and build a true connection and maybe more. She liked that answer.
She hoped that after last night Gage would come out of his shell and be more assertive with her. Their love making was pleasant, satisfying even, but if she was being completely truthful, she needed more. Gage seemed very subdued in the bedroom. Was he holding back? Was there a naughty boy in there somewhere? Did he have a wild side? She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, so that once he loosened up he could be more commanding and self-assured. They shared an honest connection, no question about it, but was there a potential for something more?
She once heard lyrics to a Tammy Wynette song that seemed appropriate, something like “there’s nothing as hot as a slow burning fire.” She really hoped this would prove true for them, both in the bedroom, and out.
Dressed for the day, she made her way into the kitchen to brew some coffee. She was pleasantly surprised to find the dirty dishes had been washed and the kitchen cleaned. When he offered to tidy up the night before she had insisted she would do them the next day, not wanting to waste a single second cleaning when they could be snuggling on the couch and drinking wine. He must have gotten up really early and tidied up while she slept. She was suddenly overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness and felt her heart swell with joy. She smiled softly to herself, filling the coffee pot with water. Who does that, she wondered fondly? He was such a great guy.
So why did she have such mixed emotions?
Later that morning, taking a break between clients, she checked her email. She was surprised to find a message from Gage.
Good morning, beautiful. I’m just sitting at the airport waiting for our flight to board. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. Last night was perfect.
Nora took a deep breath and let it out slowly, biting her bottom lip. She wondered if he truly felt that way. The email continued.
I know it has been challenging to see each other because of my fucked up schedule, but the season will be over soon. Things are going to be a lot different for me when that happens, especially if I retire from the NHL. Let’s be honest, this will offer potential for things to evolve for us, maybe even taking our relationship to the next level. From casual dating to maybe something more exclusive? No pressure, Nora. I’m not expecting an answer right now. I’m just throwing it out there to think about. We can talk about it more over the next few weeks. I just wanted to let you know where my head is at. You’re so beautiful, smart, sexy and real. I hope this doesn’t sound trite, but I’m crazy about you. Actually, come to think of it, saying trite might be a little trite. LOL!
Nora smiled, rereading his words one more time. Gage always wore his heart on his sleeve. She appreciated that he never made her guess what was on his mind, or worse, second guess herself. She pressed the reply button and quickly responded, hoping he would get her email before he had to board.
I adore trite (especially when a big, strong hockey player says it). I’m pretty smitten with you too. (Come to think of it, who says smitten?) Thanks for taking care of the dishes this morning. So damn thoughtful. You gave me a lot to ponder and I promise you won’t be far from my thoughts. Let’s talk more next week. Still getting together next Tuesday? We can talk then. Nora xo
She sent the email off with just enough time to grab a tea before her next patient came in.
* * *
As if she wasn’t confused enough, later that night she heard from Leo. He called just as she was crawling into bed.
“Is it too late to call?” he asked, sounding a bit distracted.
Nora tucked the covers around her, trying not to drop her phone. It wasn’t like Leo to call. He seemed to prefer texting.
“No, I’m still awake,” she assured, “just getting into bed. Is everything okay?”
“Hmmm, you’re in bed? What are you wearing?” he teased, suddenly less distracted.
Nora giggled, appreciating the flirtation.
“Nothing but a sheet. It’s just too hot.” she purred, enunciating the last few words. In truth, she was wearing an old Mötley Crüe t-shirt and a pair of white panties.
“Are you laying down?” he asked, his voice low and seductive.
She liked where this was heading.
“Yes,” she whispered, adjusting herself back into her pillows.
“Are you wet?” he growled softly, probably horny as hell.
“Actually, I am,” she said, playing along, his words exciting her too.
“I’m in bed too,” he confessed, “and I’m hard as a rock. I wish you were here.”
“Oh ya, what would you do if I was?” she teased, egging him on, her fingers twirling her necklace.
She put her phone on speaker and set it on the pillow beside her.
“Well, I would slip my fingers into your cunt, just to see how wet you are. I love how warm and soft you feel inside, so creamy,” he said, his voice deep and his words deliberate.
He was on a mission.
“Spread your legs for me, and slip your fingers inside your pussy,” he commanded.
Nora bit her lip and slid her hand over her chest and down her stomach, slipping her palm under the elastic of her panties. She kneaded her soft lips for a moment, carefully spreading them open before dipping her fingers inside. She moaned softly, encouraging him to continue.
“Are they inside?” he asked playfully.
She could hear the excitement in his voice.
“Mmmm-hmmm,” she responded, waiting for more orders.
She liked this game.
“How does it feel?” he asked breathlessly, “describe it to me.”
“So good. Sexy. But it feels so much better when you touch me,” she softly murmured, milking herself with her fingers.
“Pretend it’s me. I’m stroking my cock right now and all I can think about is your mouth on it, sucking me off. You give the best head,” he offered in that deep, smoky tone that turned her on so much.
She felt herself tremble as a current of pleasure fluttered through her body. Her juices soaked her hand as her pussy responded to her touch.
“Now rub your clit, ever so gently, pretending it’s my tongue teasing you,” he continued.
She was already one step ahead of him, but she didn’t tell him that.
“Mmmm,” she moaned softly, fucking herself with her experienced fingers.
She could hear his breathing escalating, and her heart began racing in response. She knew he was pleasuring himself too, and that turned her on even more.
“Tell me what you want me to do. What would make you hot and wet?” he urged, his voice breaking ever so slightly.
Nora’s fingers, wet with her own honey, glided over her clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Could she tell him what she really wanted? Share her fantasies with him? More than anything she wanted to open up to him, but he was so closed off himself. Maybe she needed to be the first one to expose her vulnerable underbelly, and to pave the way for him.
“Tell me, Nora,” he commanded gently, his voice thick with need.
“I want you to restrain me, to tie me up so I can’t move,” she began, hesitating then, her nervousness heightening her desire.
She could hear him take a deep breath.
“Yes...go on.”
“Blindfold me. Tease me with your kisses, your tongue, and your fingers. I won’t know what you’re doing or where you will be touching me next. I will be completely at your mercy,” she whispered, her arousal escalating.
The hot little fantasy fueled her imagination, as she visualized him doing exactly what she desperately wanted.
“Fuck, yeah. I would love that. I could do anything to you I wanted. You would have to trust me completely. That’s hot,” he agreed, not even trying to mask his enthusiasm.
“What would you do to me,” she asked, spurring him on, “if I was blind, naked and bound?”
“I would nibble on your nipples, suck your clit, maybe blow my hot breath all over your body. Whatever I could to torture you,” he said, painting a very hot, sexy picture for her.
Not only could she see it in her mind, but she could practically feel his phantom touches raising the goosebumps on her flesh.
“Then I would bite your neck and feel you writhe underneath me. I would gently bite, pinch and spank your ass and thighs until you are dripping wet.”
“Oh my God,” she purred, one shaky hand pinching her nipple, while the other rubbed her clit, desperately trying to trigger an orgasm.
Pleasure surged from her core as heat radiated from her center shooting out to every limb, curling her toes. She cried out loudly, releasing the hedonistic pressure building inside her, shuddering with convulsive spasms.
“Fuck, Nora, cum for me baby. That…is...so...fucking...hot,” he panted, his own pleasure obvious.
She could hear the unmistakable grunts and groans of a man stroking himself off. Her intensity just started ebbing off as his started to swell. She wanted to bring him closer to the edge.
“Then, just when I can’t take your torture anymore,” she gasped, trying to catch her breath, “you force open my trembling legs, exposing me for your pleasure. You are so desperate to fuck me you don’t care if I am ready, you just force your cock into my ass. My virgin little hole is like a vice, tight around your thick shaft.”
“Yes, fucking yes,” he blurted, “I’m cumming, fuck!”
He exploded hard, his familiar sex noises echoing through the phone. She giggled, completely turned on by his racy spontaneity. She felt wild and free.
“Wow,” she cooed, picking the phone back up and holding it to her ear, wanting to feel intimately closer to him.
She heard him take a deep breath, sighing heavily.
“Nice fantasy,” he teased warmly, as soon as he recovered.
She could practically hear the smile on his face.
“You liked that did you?” she replied, pulling the covers over herself.
He chuckled softly, “I sure did. I wouldn’t mind making that fantasy a reality.”
“Well, maybe we will. Nothing hotter than trusting one another completely,” she suggested, hoping he would understand that she was alluding to something more, something deeper.
He mumbled unintelligible words, clearing his throat.
“Sorry?” she questioned, hoping he would repeat it.
“Nothing, nothing,” he assured, waving her off. “I actually called to ask you something.”
“Oh, you mean this call wasn’t just about phone sex?” she teased, brushing off his avoidance.
“Nah, that was an added bonus,” he chimed back, “I have next weekend off and was thinking about heading out of town for a few days for some R & R. Do you want to come with me?”
“Relaxation and Romance?” she quipped flirtatiously.
A weekend away with Leo sounded perfect. A change of scenery, a few days without distractions. It could be exactly what they needed to reach a higher level of intimacy. Maybe Leo was thinking the same thing.
He chuckled softly at her remark and said, “Ropes and Ravishing?”
“Hmmm, can’t we have both?” she mused, hoping he had more than just a dirty weekend in mind.
“For sure. My parents live in Ojai. I like to go there to unwind,” he went on to explain.
Nora smiled sweetly to herself. Did he want her to meet his parents? Was this his way of telling her he was ready for their relationship to evolve? This could be a good thing for them. Maybe a great thing!
“I would love to meet your parents, Leo,” she assured, touched by the gesture.
She expected a completely different response, but was instead, met with silence.
“Leo?” she questioned gently, before suddenly realizing her mistake. She might have made a huge assumption, she thought.
Leo cleared his throat uncomfortably before he finally spoke up.
“Actually, my parents are in New Jersey for a few months, visiting my brother and his wife. We would have their place to ourselves,” he offered, almost apologetically.
Nora silently chided herself, then quickly shook off her embarrassment.
“That sounds great,” she offered, maybe a little too enthusiastically, “I’ve never been to Ojai. I’ve heard it’s a cool place. When do you want to head out?”
“Can you take off a little early on Friday? I was hoping to beat the heavy traffic, maybe head out around two or three?” he asked, softening his tone as though he felt he needed to placate her.
She knew he meant well, but she hated that she made things awkward in the first place.
“I can try to move some appointments around. That might work. We can confirm times and details in a few days, okay?” she reassured, hiding the emotion she was feeling.
“Sounds good,” he stammered. “It’s getting late. I’m going to let you get some sleep, while I go clean myself up,” he said, chuckling softly under his breath. “I’m glad you’re coming. l’ll touch base on Wednesday, after work.”
“Thanks for the invite. I’m looking forward to all the R’s,” she offered playfully, hoping to end their conversation on a lighter note. “Goodnight.”
“Naughty night,” he whispered flirtatiously before hanging up the phone.
Nora sat in silence for a few minutes, staring blankly at her phone, trying to get her bearings straight. Once again, Leo left her reeling with uncertainty. He could take her from one end of the emotion spectrum to the other, in a single encounter. She shook her head softly, wondering if he was aware of the effect that he had on her, if he was even invested enough to care. He kept his cards so well hidden. She couldn’t explain why she was so drawn to him, despite it all. If nothing else, the weekend would get her closer to the truth. She knew she needed to pull some answers out of him, even if they were answers she didn’t want to hear. She needed to know if he was capable of opening his heart to her once and for all.
CHAPTER 17
LEO
The traffic was light and they made it to Ojai in time for dinner. He showed Nora around his parent’s house, giving her the quick five cent tour. It was a humble little house with a spectacular view of the Topatopa Mountains. His parents moved to Ojai when Leo was fifteen. Both of his grandparents had died that same year, only a few months apart. It was a hard time for his mother, she had been the one taking care of them in the end. She had been suffering from a deep depression and his father thought that Ojai would be the perfect place for a new beginning, something completely different from Jersey. His mother always wanted to live somewhere where the winters were less harsh, so they chose Ojai, California.
At the time, Leo was a pissed off teenager hell bent on making their lives miserable. He didn’t want to leave Jersey. All his friends were there and he was only in his sophomore year. He was a popular kid, good at music, dancing, and sports. He had it made. Changing schools had been hard on him. He wasn’t used to being invisible.
He spent the first few years in Ojai causing all kinds of shit. He had been in trouble with the law on a few occasions too, nothing that landed him in juvie or anything, but enough to get a shitty reputation. Two events finally got him back on the straight and narrow. He met a girl that he fell madly in love with, and his buddy saved his life. Both were significant enough to make him seriously reevaluate his life choices, and oddly enough, they occurred on the same night.
“The house is amazing,” Nora gushed, admiring the view through the patio doors of the sunroom, “it is so quaint!”
Leo knew she would love it. The house was decorated much the same way Nora furnished her own home, very bohemian. His parents were pretty much hippies, having grown up in the seventies, and their taste very much reflected that. When they lived with his grandparents everything was crisp and clean, the way Italian people liked it. Even the furniture had been covered in plastic, to keep it “new” looking. As soon as his parents bought their own home on Ojai, they made sure it fit their unique personalities.
They were like newlyweds again once they hit the west coast, a couple of 40 year old kids. Ironically, his mother seemed to blossom when they left the garden state. She’d had so much responsibility from such a young age that she never got to be a proper teenager. The youngest of five siblings, she was the one expected to stay behind and take care of her parents. Even after she and his dad married, they lived with her parents to help pay the bills. She and his dad worked while Leo’s grandparents took care of the bambinos. It never bothered Leo. He and his brother were spoiled rotten, the apples of their Nona’s eye. For him, life seemed damn near perfect. But his mother was not happy. She and his father married at 22 and by the time she was 25 she already had two kids, Leo and his older brother Gianni.
How his parents stayed together in those early years, Leo would never understand. Especially for his father who was the outsider. It must have felt like a rebirth for both of them when they finally left it all behind them. They tried to visit family every couple of years, back in Hoboken, a town famous for two things—Frank Sinatra, and more recently, Buddy Valastro, The Cake Boss. Leo and his brother used to go to Carlo’s Bake Shop every Saturday morning with their grandfather to purchase their world famous cannolis.
This trip was the first visit his parents had made to Jersey since 2012, when hurricane Sandy had filled Hoboken like a bathtub. Luckily none of their relatives had lost their homes in the storm, but many people did.
Leo wrapped his arms around Nora and pulled her against him, back to chest. He kissed her neck playfully, drawing a giggle from her.
“I thought you would like it here,” he agreed, as he swayed her gently in his arms. “I always like coming here. Can’t beat that view.”
“You said your parents moved to SoCal when you were fifteen? To this house?” Nora questioned, turning herself around to face him.
He looked down at her and nodded.
“Yes, right here. Moved here in 96. Oddly enough, I despised it here in the beginning. Hated the fucking place, but now that I am older I can understand the appeal it held for my folks,” he shared thoughtfully. “My brother lived a few blocks over until just recently, but he moved back to Jersey last year with his wife and kid. My parents are actually staying with them for the next few months because Gianni’s wife just had their second child. They have two little girls now. I’m actually planning a visit back east myself before long.”
“Why did you hate it?” Nora asked.
She seemed pleased to see him opening up about his family. He hadn’t talked about them since their first date, and even then he kept it pretty casual. He shared the logistics but not the dynamics. It wasn’t easy for him to share his personal stuff, but she made him want to try.
“It just felt like a foreign country to me. It was so different from home, and of course my grandparents had just died. They practically raised me and my brother. I had a hard time working through it,” he admitted despondently.
“Sounds like you had a lot of grief.” Nora offered, her voice trailing off.
Leo nodded his head slowly, his thoughts drifting back in time.
“I guess so. Of course, at the time my parents were so damn happy that it made me even more miserable. I hated them for it. On top of all my teenage hormones, I was filled with rage. Not a good combination, I got into a bit of trouble,” he confessed awkwardly.
He hated drudging up the past. He hated how uncomfortable it made him. Inevitably his thoughts would always come around to Corrine and that would just mess him up. He released his embrace with Nora and sat down on one of the two wicker chairs in the sunroom. Nora took his cue and sat down on the chair beside him.
“What kind of trouble?” Nora pressed gently.
“Oh, I don’t know. Stupid stuff. I vandalized the post office with an inappropriate painting, beat up the school bully, and took a baseball bat to half the mailboxes over on Grand Avenue,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders.
It was embarrassing to think about that shit now.
“Inappropriate painting?” Nora smiled curiously.
“Yeah, I used bright red spray paint and drew a picture of an exploding penis on this really pristine white wall. Actually it was a man in a suit with a penis for a head with Prez Clinton scrawled underneath,” he grinned sheepishly. “Pretty prophetic if you ask me, given the oral sex scandal that broke all over the news a few months later.”
Nora laughed wholeheartedly, “That was pretty insightful! What happened?”
Leo rolled his eyes at her and smirked.
“Well, I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. I brought the spray cans home and tossed them in the garbage in the garage. My mother was sorting through the trash, she was a recycling fanatic even back then, and she came across the cans. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”
“Oh no, what did she do?” Nora asked, still giggling.
“She smacked me with her shoe and then made me go downtown and confess. It was humiliating. I had to repaint the entire wall and she made me volunteer to pick up garbage in Libbey Park. They made me wear a reflector vest and everything,” he told her, laughing at his stupidity.
“I bet you never did anything like that again,” Nora teased, reaching for his hand.
He allowed her to take it.
“Well, let’s just say I got better at hiding the evidence. It took a few more years before I really settled down.”
“So what was the turning point?” Nora prodded gently.
Leo smiled at her but said nothing for a minute or two, his thoughts drifting to the night he met Corrine. The night he almost died. He wasn’t ready to share that with her yet. He had buried it pretty deep and wasn’t sure he wanted to conjure those feeling up again. He shifted in his chair, his physical discomfort suddenly paralleling his emotional unease.
“I’m hungry, are you?” he asked, standing up suddenly and simultaneously lifting her out of her chair.
Nora looked at him curiously and smiled. She knew he was sidestepping her question. He wasn’t fooling her, but she would just have to deal with it for now, he thought, swallowing his guilt. She had been more than patient with him since they had met, giving him plenty of space to ease into their relationship, and he knew he was running out of time, but it was so fucking hard for him to be vulnerable. It wasn’t her, it was him. She was an amazing woman.
“Sure, I could eat,” she agreed pensively. “Are we cooking?”
“No ma’am, I’m taking you out. One of my favorite places. I go there every time I come to town,” he said, pulling her in for a smooch.
She let him kiss her, but he could tell that she was holding back. He gave her two more little pecks, and then spun her around, landing a playful smack on her ass.
“Go freshen up, I’m going to call ahead and get them to save us a table,” he offered lightly, hoping to turn the mood around.
Nora shook her head and grinned at him, probably in complete frustration, but he preferred to think she just found him adorable.
* * *
“Oh my god! Is that you Leo? You look fantastic!”
Nora stepped to the side as a pretty blonde threw herself into Leo’s arms. He hugged her back with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm, given he was on a date. He smiled at Nora apologetically, looking over the woman’s shoulder. Nora grinned back at him, a question mark on her face.
“Hi Lynda, long time no see,” Leo greeted, peeling the blonde off of him.
He was grateful that she was wearing a name tag, otherwise he was pretty certain he would not have been able to conjure it up. He had no idea she worked at this particular restaurant, otherwise he definitely would have chosen somewhere else to bring Nora. He had hooked up with Lynda the last time he was in town. It had been a few years since he had seen her, but apparently she hadn’t forgotten him. The truth was, Leo had slept with lots of women in Ojai, so the chances of him running into someone he had fucked was actually pretty high. He had just hoped for a more subtle greeting.
“No shit, long time no see. What has it been? Two years?” Lynda gushed, caressing his shoulder.
Leo stepped to the side, just out of her reach and placed an arm around Nora’s waist. She smiled at him gratefully.
“Yeah, it has been a few years. This is my friend Nora,” he said, introducing the two women.
As soon as he said ‘friend’ he regretted it, especially since he saw Nora’s smile fade, ever so slightly. He shrugged his shoulders weakly, and offered her a reassuring squeeze.
“Oh,” Lynda croaked, raising her hands in front of her in a gesture that said ‘my bad’.
She looked Nora up and down, as if assessing her competition.
“Nice to meet you. Let me see if your table is ready.”
She gave Leo a ‘friendly’ pat on the shoulder as she walked past him, but Leo knew what the gesture meant. It wasn’t the first time a woman had signaled him that way. What she really meant was ‘if you lose the friend, we can hook up later.’ As soon as Lynda was out of their eye line, Leo cleared his throat and met Nora’s gaze. She was smiling at him knowingly. That didn’t surprise him. Not a whole lot got past her.
“Someone you dated?” she asked playfully.
“Not exactly. We had a few fun nights together last time I was here. Just a casual thing,” he stammered, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.
“Ah, casual. So just a friend then?” she observed flatly.
It was obvious from her tone that she had something important on her mind. Something Leo wasn’t sure he knew how to address. He shouldn’t have referred to Nora as a friend, but fuck, he wasn’t sure just how to define her. She was definitely somewhere between a fuck buddy and the potential love of his life, but he wasn’t exactly sure where she fell within that spectrum. All he knew was that he liked spending time with her, in and out of the bedroom, and that was more than he could say about most of the women he knew. She challenged him on almost every level, and most of the time he liked it, but every now and then—it scared the shit out of him.
“Not really,” he offered sheepishly, “just someone I killed some time with. Sorry about that. I honestly didn’t know she worked here.”
“Don’t be silly,” she assured with a smile, “running into someone we slept with was bound to happen sooner or later. That doesn’t bother me.”
Leo pulled her a little closer and casually kissed the top of her head, once again appreciating her maturity. He hoped that meant he was off the hook.
Nora had been quieter than usual throughout dinner. She seemed to have a lot on her mind, and Leo did his best to keep the conversation flirty and light, hoping to draw her out of her funk. It wasn’t that she seemed upset really, more introspective. He was grateful that their interaction with Lynda ended after she sat them down, but every now and then she would walk by and smile at him. He did his best to avoid eye contact, afraid he might give her the wrong idea.
“You ok?” he finally asked, as soon as the waiter dropped off their coffee.
Nora looked up at him and smiled sweetly, but he wasn’t buying it. She had been writing a script all night. He could see it in those beautiful green eyes.
“I am,” she offered softly, “sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”
He should have asked her what she was thinking about. He should have insisted she open up to him, and made her feel safe, but he couldn’t. He was too fucking worried she would bring up something heavy and he wouldn’t know how to make her feel better. So instead he nodded his head and changed the subject.
“I know what will make you feel better,” he flirted, taking her hand in his.
He kissed her knuckles tenderly, carefully avoiding her eyes.
“I’ve been thinking about your fantasy all week.”
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked cautiously, avoiding his advances.
“Sure,” he answered, just as tentatively, wondering where she wanted to take him.
“Have you ever been in love?” she challenged, her eyes searching his.
He got the sense that she was leading him somewhere important, but he wasn’t sure why. She had never asked him about his past relationships before. It was one of the main things that appealed to him about Nora. The truth was, he knew that this conversation was inevitable, but being home, in the place where everything had happened with Corrine, it was all just too much to handle. The flood gates were dangerously close to opening.
“In love?” he asked, stalling for time.
She nodded at him but said nothing.
“Yeah, I guess I have. It was a long time ago.”
He took a long sip off his coffee, hoping to signal his desire to change the subject. She didn’t bite.
“When?” she asked, massaging his fingertips with her own.
He knew she was trying to set him at ease, but it was having the opposite effect.
“When? In my twenties I guess. When I was married,” he revealed, regretting the words as soon as they were out.
After a confession that big she would need to know more.
“You were married?” she asked, failing to hide her surprise.
“I was. Divorced now. Been a long time,” he explained, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
She looked at him thoughtfully, as though carefully analyzing him. And he fucking hated it. It wouldn’t take her long to figure him out.
“Let’s get out of here,” he urged, tossing his napkin on the table. “You wanna go?”
He raised his hand, signaling their waiter to come over. He asked for the check and then excused himself to use the bathroom, all without making eye contact with Nora. As soon as he got inside he splashed water on his face and then leaned on the counter, looking at himself in the mirror. He hoped that a few minutes apart would shift the energy between them. Of course Nora had earned the right to know more, but now was not the time. He wanted to control the pace of that conversation, and reveal his shit in his own time, in his own way.
After a few minutes passed, he left the restroom, feeling more at ease. Just outside the door he found Lynda waiting for him. She caught him completely off guard.
“Hey,” he blurted, looking over her shoulder to see if Nora was in his eye line.
She wasn’t.
“Hey yourself. You okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” she observed, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
He looked up at her and smiled, reassuringly. She was just as sexy as he remembered, and if he recalled correctly, she had been a fire cracker in the bedroom, too. They had shared a couple of hot nights in bed together—fun, easy, and uncomplicated. Just the way he liked it.
“I’m good,” he said, slowly exhaling, “How about you? Have you been doing okay?”
“Same stuff as always. I just split with my boyfriend. Rooming with Amy Callahan. Do you remember her?” she questioned, her eyes deep with need, a suggestive smile playing on her lips.
He knew Amy well. She was a hot little bi-sexual he had hooked up with right after Corrine and he had split. He nodded and grinned at her flirtatiously.
“Yeah, I remember her. You two together?” he winked, making a suggestive gesture with his hands.
Lynda giggled and shook her head.
“No, but we could be for the right guy. You know Amy, she likes to share,” she purred, leaning in closer.
Leo smiled, imaging how fun a little ménage à trois would be with those two little foxes.
“Mmmm, is that right? What about you? Do you like to share, too?”
“I could be persuaded. I’d just have to make a call and let her know I’d be bringing you home tonight. She would love to see you, I’m sure.”
In truth, Leo considered it for a moment. What red blooded American male wouldn’t have? The thought of it was tempting, but the timing was all wrong. He was taking Nora home that night and in spite of the fact that she challenged him emotionally, he wanted to be with her. Maybe he needed to be pushed. God knows, he had been evading intimacy for a long time. There was a part of him that wanted someone to love him. Really love him, and Nora had been the closest he had come to in all that time.
He smiled at Lynda and shook his head, noting the disappointment in her eyes.
“While that sounds very tempting, I’m going to have to say no. But say hi to Amy for me, okay?” he offered apologetically, carefully stepping around her.
She reached out for his arm to pull him closer and whispered in his ear.
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“I won’t change my mind,” he replied confidently.
“Is that your girlfriend?” she asked, curiously. “Is it serious?”
“Serious enough,” he grinned, winking at her. “I better get back. Take care.”
He walked down the short hallway, spotting Nora across the room. She was looking down at her phone, the glow from the screen illuminating her pretty face. Her smile made it clear that whatever she was reading made her happy. She looked so cheerful and at peace, something he had been unable to draw out of her all day. He wondered what, or who, had made her smile like that and for a moment he felt uncharacteristically possessive.
As soon as he sat down she placed the phone back in her purse and met his eyes, her smile fading. He shook off his insecurity and offered her his best smile, holding her gaze until she shook her head and smiled back, like he was irresistible.
“I’ll just settle up and then we can go,” Leo said, looking around for the waiter, “I would have thought he’d have brought it by already.”
“I took care of it,” Nora said lightly, picking up her purse.
She looked at him kindly, her eyes searching his. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he protested gently, trying not to read anything into the gesture.
She had picked up the check a few times before, it didn’t mean anything.
“No worries. Let’s just go,” she stood up and straightened herself out, encouraging Leo to follow suit.
He led her out of the restaurant, grateful that Lynda was nowhere to be found.
As soon as they got back to the house, Leo snuggled up to Nora and gave her a romantic kiss. While they had talked pleasantly on the way home, he could tell she was distracted and it was throwing him off. He wasn’t familiar with this side of Nora. She was usually so present whenever they were together. He wanted to understand what was troubling her, but he was worried about what she might say. Instead, he fell back on what he was good at, in the hopes that she would come around.The art of seduction.
“Do you want to take a bottle of wine out to the hot tub? I put a Pinot Grigio in the fridge to chill earlier. It’s very private back there if you want to skip the bathing suits,” he growled suggestively.
Nora cocked her head, looking at him reluctantly, as though she was of two minds. He took that as a challenge, and kissed her again. She kissed him back, but as soon as they parted, she sighed deeply and shook her head.
“I’m not feeling all that well, Leo. Do you mind if we just go to bed?” she pleaded, placing her hands on his chest.
His sympathetic look was the polar opposite to what he actually felt. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more.
“What is it? A headache?” he asked flatly, not certain how to handle her rejection.
“Honestly? No. I think I just need some space tonight,” she answered truthfully, but not unkindly.
Nevertheless, her honesty threw him for a loop. What the hell changed in the past few hours? He replayed things in his head. Everything seemed great up until dinner, and then things just got awkward. What pushed the train off the rails? He wanted to ask her, but held his tongue.
“Okay. Let’s go to bed,” he finally replied, hiding his hurt feelings.
She looked at him with sad eyes, nodding at him gratefully. He thought about the look on her face only an hour before, when she didn’t know he was watching, when she was busy on her phone. His head and heart ached with the plethora of the many emotions banging around inside of him. What the hell did she need to make her look at him that way?
Half an hour later he was in bed, scrolling through his phone, when Nora finally joined him. She was freshly showered, a towel wrapped snuggly around her midsection, looking a little more relaxed. He put his phone down on the bedside table.
“Come here,” he urged, holding his hand out to her.
She walked to his side of the bed and sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers. He caressed her fingers tentatively.
“Do you want to talk about what’s bugging you?” he asked, having decided, while she was in the shower, that he needed to put his own bullshit insecurity aside and work things out with her.
Nora was a reasonable woman, and not prone to bouts of whining or pouting. If she was unhappy, it was probably for a damn good reason.
She looked up at him curiously and shrugged.
“Do you?” she blurted unexpectedly, catching him off guard.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snapped, taking her response personally.
She sat up, as though recognizing her impatience.
“I’m sorry,” she said regretfully, “I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did.”
“Okay,” he nodded, sharing a weak smile with her. “Please, just tell me what I did wrong?”
“Oh, Leo, it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong,” she insisted. “I just feel sometimes like we take one step forward and two steps back. We have this great chemistry and I love being with you. We have so much fun together and God knows, you’re amazing in bed. I feel like you try really hard to make sure I’m always taken care of, but whenever I try to get close to you, I feel you pulling away.”
Leo nodded his head slowly, but said nothing. He didn’t know what to say.
“I can’t ask you to be something you’re not,” she continued, “but it’s just so confusing. I can see potential for us, something meaningful, and yet it’s like there is this wall between us. You let me see glimpses of it, but you won’t let me touch it. Do you know what I mean?”
He did know what she meant. She’d articulated it better than he could have. And she was right. She looked at him thoughtfully, silently trying to draw something out of him—emotion, words, anything. He gave her two short nods that told her he understood.
“I’ve just been thinking a lot about what you and I share, trying to define it, I guess. Part of me doesn’t want to let it go, but another part of me is terrified to hold on,” she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes.
Leo sometimes came across as a tough guy, he knew that, but seeing a woman cry was his Achilles heel. Nothing turned him to mush faster.
“Why?” he asked tenderly, suddenly worried he might really lose her.
Up until this point it had never dawned on him that she could be the one to end things with him.
“Because I’m afraid that I may be more invested in the end game than you are, Leo. I’m not saying that I need a proposal, not at all. I just want to know you, and I want you to know me, to see if there is actually potential for us. Ultimately, I want to be in a committed relationship with the love of my life, that’s important to me, but if I’m being honest, I’m not sure you do. I don’t know how you feel about a lot of important things because you seem so afraid to open up to me,” she pressed, her hands holding his tightly. “We are in each other’s beds, but not in each other’s lives. I mean, can you honestly see a world in which you and I work for the long haul?”
Leo inhaled deeply, suddenly craving oxygen. He had thought about a future with Nora, of course he had. She, more than anyone else he had ever been with, made him feel hopeful again, hopeful that maybe someone could love him. He knew she wanted more from him, and he tried. He would catch himself mentally rehearsing intimate conversations he wanted to have with her. About his desires, his needs, the story of his past. He wanted her to know him, all of it, but once they were together he would just clam up, and then distract her with sex. He couldn’t really explain why, either. He liked Nora a lot—maybe part of him was even starting to love her, but he didn’t know if he could truly trust her. Her, or any woman.
He looked up, still not sure what to say or how to explain how fucked up he felt. He didn’t want her to see him that way, as a guy with too much fucking baggage. He was afraid that if he exposed his weaknesses she would decide he was unlovable, and he didn’t need any additional proof of that.
Nora frowned slightly and nodded, as though she understood that he wouldn’t, couldn’t validate her. She made a slight move to lift herself off the bed. Leo felt panic surging in his gut, and pulled her back down, leaning in to kiss her. She didn’t pull back, instead, received his kiss with just as much need as his own. He ran his hands up her back, kissing her with a fervency that said ‘read my mind, my story is there, I want you to know me.’ He hoped that if he willed it to happen, she would just understand.
He tugged on her towel, leaning her back into the mattress, but she quickly stiffened up, pulling out of his kiss.
“Leo,” she whispered, readjusting the towel around her, “not tonight. Please, let’s just sleep on this. I need time to process my feelings, and maybe you do too.”
Leo didn’t want to stop. Not at all. He wanted more than anything to feel close to her. He needed to fuck her, to push himself deeply inside of her, prove to her that he could make her happy. He needed to buy more time.
He shook his head grinning at her, hoping his charm would win her over, and kissed her again, this time more assertively, his cock quickly stiffening against his boxers. She pulled away again, smiling patiently at him.
“No, Leo,” she stated firmly, gently stroking the hair by his temple.
He inhaled deeply, knowing he needed to pull himself together and buried his head in her neck, allowing her to comfort him.
“Get back in bed, I’ll join you in a minute,” she coaxed, lifting herself off the mattress.
He shifted himself back into the pillows and pulled the sheet over himself.
She returned to the bathroom, leaving him alone for several minutes. He took that time to consider what she had shared with him. He knew he had to make a choice, and soon. He either needed to take a leap of faith with her, or let her go. She had drawn a line in the sand, he needed to decide if she was worth the risk.
Nora returned to bed, wearing a pair of panties and a tank top. It was the first time she slipped into bed beside him and hadn’t been completely nude. The message was not lost on him.
CHAPTER 18
NORA
Nora woke up before Leo did, but wasn’t quite ready to crawl out of bed. Her best guess told her it was probably only six a.m. She lay beside him quietly, just able to make out his features in the slivers of dim light that lit the room from behind the blinds. It was strange sleeping beside him and not being in her own bed. It was even stranger to be sharing his childhood bedroom with him when she hadn’t even seen his apartment yet.
She wasn’t sure why she chose last night to confess her concerns to Leo, except that perhaps she had such high hopes and quickly realized that the only thing different about the weekend was geography. As he sidestepped all her personal questions, she became acutely aware that while he had invited her away, he had no intentions of inviting her in.
She probably should have been more patient, but when he introduced her to the hostess—his previous lover, and the first person he had ever introduced her to—he referred to her as his friend. She wanted to be a grown up about it, but that stung a little. When she pushed him a bit harder to see if he would give her something, anything, he told her he had been married before. Married! While she hadn’t shared all the details about her relationship with Devon, Leo damn well knew that she had been married and divorced. His own divorce seemed like information that he probably could have confessed at the same time that she had opened up to him.
It just didn’t make sense. She spent her entire professional life analyzing people, uncovering their stories, and figuring them out, yet when it came to Leo, she was clueless. It was like she was lost in his kisses, and under some sort of kinky spell. He just had to wave his magic wand and she would tune out everything else. That big, stiff, delicious wand. She knew if she had allowed him to seduce her last night, everything she had shared with him would have been neatly tucked under the bed, just hollow words demoted to dust bunnies. She was smart enough to know how those things worked. Leo was a master of deflection.
The simple truth was this. If you wanted things to be different, you had to behave differently. Wasn’t doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results the very definition of insanity? According to Albert Einstein it was, and he was a fucking genius.
She had made the right choice, she knew that. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Leo needed time to think things through. She knew coming into the weekend that she needed answers, and she wouldn’t get them if his mouth was full of pussy the whole time. She was acutely aware that Leo used sex as a crutch, and as long as she was enabling him, he would never step out of his comfort zone. She would be in a state of uncertainty, on a proverbial teeter-totter, her hopes constantly being raised up, only to come crashing down. Fuck that. She adored Leo, but she needed more than just mind-blowing sex.
Leo rolled over and threw his arm around her, sleepily pulling her nearer to him, yet clearly still asleep. It was such an intimate act, as though Leo could only allow himself to be loved when his subconscious mind was in charge, a testament to how much head-trash he was nurturing. She knew bits and pieces about his family, very general stuff. He grew up in Jersey, in his grandparent’s house. His parents were decent people. His life seemed pretty good. Up until yesterday she had no idea that he had been a rebellious teenager, a fact that endeared him to her even more. He seemed so relaxed about sharing his past until she asked him what his turning point had been, then he shut down. There was obviously more to Leo’s story. She could probably use therapy techniques to draw it out of him, but she wasn’t his counselor, she was his lover, and it needed to come from him, honestly and organically, otherwise they would never truly get where they needed to be. Their relationship could never evolve.
If they couldn’t work through it, then she would have to face the fact that maybe they were not meant to be more than lovers. Square pegs didn’t belong in round holes, regardless of how much you tried to force it. She had seen women lose their minds trying to change the men in their lives. She wouldn’t let that happen to herself.
Nora shifted herself gently off the bed, not wanting to disturb Leo, and quietly wandered through the house. She stopped every now and then to admire the pictures on the walls. Leo and his brother in their soccer uniforms, maybe nine or ten years old, their arms draped around one another, trophies in their hands, and another of the two of them with an older gentleman fishing off a pier. She assumed this was Leo’s grandfather. Leo had his looks and she could picture him in 30 years looking exactly the same way. She smiled to herself, wishing she had known little Leo.
By the time Leo got up, she was sitting on the patio, already on her second cup of coffee, browsing through a year old People Magazine. She was shocked to see a celebrity news blurb about Gage and his ex, Kim, the soap actress that broke his heart. Kim looked nothing like Nora had pictured in her head. The story talked about the break up with a headline that read “Is Kim Kearney Pulling the Goalie?” The story, only about a paragraph long, went on to explain how Kim had left him for a new leading man, leaving Gage Cooper ‘pouting between the pipes,’ with a picture of the two of them in a ‘broken heart’ graphic.
She found it oddly coincidental that she came across that article about Gage, and wondered if the universe was trying to convince her of something. She had been thinking about him a lot. He had texted her the night before while she was at dinner with Leo. Normally, she wouldn’t have checked her phone while on a date, but Leo had left her alone for quite a while, and she had to pass the time somehow.
His message just about stopped her heart.
I know you’re away, but I just wanted to tell you something. The first time I saw you my soul whispered, “She’s the one.”
Gage’s sentimental text seemed to point out, very clearly, the stark contrast between himself and Leo. Where she had to coax Leo’s feelings out of him, Gage had offered his own on a silver platter. His willingness to be vulnerable and open was precisely what she needed from Leo, and very well might have contributed to her confession the night before.
Nevertheless, she adored reading Gage’s words. She had always been mindful of staying in the moment with each of them, focusing on both relationships separately, but it was getting harder and harder to do that. She did her best to avoid comparing the two of them, instead enjoying their vast differences, at least up until recently. She knew she had to make a decision soon, she couldn’t carry on this way. Her heart was investing too much into each of them.
The only thing she knew for certain, in that very moment, was that she was more confused than ever. She was falling in love with both of them for completely different reasons.
Leo walked into the living room freshly showered and clean-shaven. As he knelt down to give her a kiss, Nora was aware of how good he smelled. He didn’t seem to have any reservations at all, and Nora wondered if he had dismissed her concerns completely.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” he asked, kissing her a second time.
“Not really,” she admitted, breathing in his aftershave, “but I have been enjoying the morning sun. How about yourself?”
“I slept great. Why don’t you go get dressed, and we’ll get some breakfast. I have somewhere I want to take you,” he suggested, a sense of calm about him.
Nora regarded him curiously.
“Where are we going?” she asked, taking the hand he offered her.
He helped her out of the lawn chair, pulling her into a loose embrace and whispered in her ear, “To the past.”
* * *
Leo pulled up to what looked like an abandoned water tower, and shifted his car into park. He looked thoughtfully over at Nora, his eyes filled with expression. He looked nervous, Nora thought, wondering why they were there. He gestured to her with a nod to follow him out of the car. She opened her door and met him behind the vehicle where he took her hand and led her over to the rusted out tower. Her eyes followed his as he looked up, his face pulled with worry. Nora waited patiently for him to speak, but he said nothing for several minutes.
“You were bang on the money last night, you know?” he began, his voice heavy with emotion. “I have been holding you at arm’s length.”
Nora nodded at him solemnly, wondering where this conversation was going. She didn’t want to make assumptions, but she felt hopeful that he was ready to break through whatever had him so bottled up.
“I’ve been doing that for years now, since my divorce, keeping women at arm’s length. It wasn’t a problem until now,” he continued, finally making eye contact with her.
She stared at him kindly, encouraging him to continue.
“See, the thing is, I was an emotional, impulsive, reckless kid, Nora. I was fucking angry when my parents moved here. I’d just lost both my grandparents and no one even talked about it. I had no way to work through my grief,” he stammered, as though he was struggling for words.
Nora took his hand and led him to a rotting picnic table that looked like it had a million stories of its own to tell. They climbed on top, resting their feet on the bench.
“Go on,” she urged, not letting go of his hand.
“Like I told you, my parents seemed deliriously happy and my brother didn’t seem affected by anything at all. He’s always been a really laid back guy,” Leo, looked at her briefly, as though wondering how much to share.
Nora nodded and squeezed his hand softly, afraid to interrupt him and spook him from continuing.
“The first few years I took my anger out on everyone and everything. I acted like a punk, truthfully. I knew it was tough for my parents, but I didn’t care, I wanted them to suffer, but eventually my rage turned inward. Then depression set in. I didn’t fucking care if I lived or died. I had been acting like a complete jerk, so I had very few friends, and no girlfriend,” he explained quietly.
Nora could hear the pain in his voice, but she knew that the only way out of pain, was through it, so she let him talk.
“I self-medicated with alcohol and pot. I was in my senior year of high school and barely squeaking by. Life seemed pretty dismal for me, so one day I woke up and decided I was done,” he whispered, avoiding Nora’s eyes. He closed his mouth, as though afraid to go on.
“What do you mean?” she asked cautiously, even though she knew full well what he meant.
“I came here. To this water tower. It was pretty late, a Friday night. I was completely shit faced and had every intention of climbing to the top of this rusted out old bucket and throwing myself over the side. I hadn’t left a note or anything because I didn’t think anyone would care.”
Nora inhaled sharply, suddenly feeling anxious for Leo. She had no idea he had ever hurt that deeply. She squeezed his hand, hoping it would keep him grounded in the present.
“I know,” he said, as though he understood her intention, “it was messed up. Anyway, I’m not sure how I even made it to the top without killing myself, but I did. I sat up there for maybe twenty minutes, trying to summon the courage to fling myself overboard, when I saw some headlights pulling up. It was a kid from school, this nice guy I had in a few classes. I guess he was there to make out with his girlfriend, I dunno.”
Nora looked up, way up, to the top of the tower. She could imagine young Leo, leaning his arms over the rusty railing, drunk and afraid, and her heart ached for him.
“He obviously saw my abandoned car there and I watched him walk around the tower looking for me. When he finally looked up, I thought there was no way he would see me. It was too dark. I figured he would just go away, but he didn’t. I watched him lean into the passenger window and say something to his girlfriend. A few minutes later, she drove off, and the kid started climbing the tower,”
He went on to explain how this kid he barely knew talked him off the ledge that night. Leo said he was a fucking jerk to him at first, but the kid didn’t flinch. He just sat beside him, and let Leo rant and rave, unloading all his anger, puking all his rage over the side of the tower. He yelled and cursed and carried on until the tears started flowing. Leo insisted that his life was saved that night by that young kid. He put his arm around him and just let him cry it all out, and by the time his tears had dried, he knew things were going to be okay. Then his new found friend helped him climb down the tower and they talked for another hour, right on the same picnic bench that he and Nora were sitting on.
“It’s pretty remarkable that he happened to be in the right place at the right time,” Leo shuddered, as though it still gave him goosebumps. “And that he wasn’t afraid to just hold on to me. How many young guys would do that?”
“Not many, I imagine,” Nora agreed, equally awed by Leo’s account.
“He’s still like that, you know. Just a decent, sensitive guy. To this day we’re still best buds. I would do anything for him. He never fucking judges me,” he observed humbly.
This was a side to Leo that Nora had not yet seen and it warmed her heart. His vulnerability softened him, making him even more desirable.
“I would like to meet him,” Nora pressed hopefully, kissing his hand.
He smiled at her, nodding his head gently.
“There’s more, you know, if you want to hear it?” he offered reluctantly, as if he was worried he was over-burdening her. She assured him that she wanted to hear the rest.
“I met Corrine that night, my wife,” he said flatly.
She could feel him stiffening beside her.
“My new buddy and I decided to go to a bush party up in the mountains, apparently half the kids in town were there, including his girlfriend who agreed to meet him there. He drove my car of course, because I shouldn’t have been driving in the first place. When we got there I was surprised by how many people seemed happy to see me. Everyone was friendly. Maybe they always had been and I was just so lost in my own fucking misery I couldn’t see it. One thing was certain, my eyes had been opened that night. Once I had decided to live, life invited me back with open arms.”
It often happened that way, Nora thought. How many times had she witnessed her patients transform right before her eyes? Once they recognized that their suffering was a choice, that they could just set it down and walk away from it. The epiphany was like a curtain being thrown open and light flooding in.
“Corrine was sitting by the campfire. The first thing I noticed about her was her smile. Honestly, it was like a beacon of light on a very dark night. She was at the party with some girlfriends who had all taken off with some cute guys. I gave my new friend an elbow to the ribs and made my way over to her,” he reminisced, his voice soft with memory.
He said that they hit it off almost immediately, him and the girl with the beautiful smile. They talked, laughed and teased each other until about 3:00 in the morning, until he was sober enough to drive her home. He dropped her off that night, more hopeful than he had been in a very long time. Leo didn’t think it had been a coincidence that she had been at the party that night, either. It was as though the universe, God, source, or whatever the hell you wanted to call that greater power, made sure that their paths would cross. He said she was like an angel that came into his life just when he needed her the most.
They fell madly in love and spent almost every free minute together. She inspired Leo to get his shit together, and he did. He graduated high school, and then went on to college, until he decided that he wanted to be a fire fighter. He switched gears because he felt called to the profession and wanted to be of service to others. He knew what it felt like to be rescued, to feel protected, and he wanted to do the same for people.
It seemed like everything was perfect. He and Corrine got married as soon as his training was done, on the very spot that they had met. They were both twenty-four, old enough to commit to each other. Leo would have done anything for her. Making her happy became his life’s ambition, because seeing that smile every day was the glue that kept him together. She was his everything.
He obviously needed Nora to know how much Corrine had meant to him, so that she would understand why he was the man he was now, but more importantly, how she had ripped out his heart and buried it where he couldn’t find it—where no one would ever find it again. Nora sat in utter silence as she listened to him finally pour his heart out to her, awed by his courage.
“I came home after a really long shift. There’d been a massive barn fire in the next county and our crew had been called in as back up. I had told Corrine that I would be crashing at the fire hall that night, but my lieutenant sent me home as soon as we rolled back into the station. I was exhausted and of no use to anyone, and he could see that,” he explained quietly.
Nora could guess what happened next, and felt her stomach tighten for him.
“She was in our bed with another man, I don’t know who, I didn’t know him. I told that mother fucker to get the hell out of my house and he grabbed his fucking clothes off the floor and walked right past me, his dick still hanging out. She didn’t say a word for at least fifteen minutes. I kept asking her questions, but she said nothing. She just kept her head down, afraid to look at me,” he muttered, forcing the words out. “I shed more tears than she did, I think.”
Leo finished his recollection by telling Nora that Corrine asked him for a divorce. She had fallen in love with the man in their bed and she didn’t want to be married anymore. That was it. No further explanation offered, in spite of his pleading. The next day she moved out, and Leo shut down. He couldn’t understand how he’d gotten it so fucking wrong. He had been completely blindsided.
It took many months, but eventually Leo started dating again. He was a popular guy in town, and it didn’t take long for women to start throwing themselves at him. They all thought they could save him, mend his broken heart and all, but he didn’t want that. He never dated a woman more than a handful of times, because he didn’t want them to get too close. He had a four date rule and stuck to it, mostly. He said he generally dated younger women because they weren’t looking for anything serious. Most of them just wanted to have a good time. Women his age were more discerning, they had higher standards. They usually pegged him as a player within the first few dates and moved on of their own accord. It wasn’t his style to string anyone along, so as far as he knew, he wasn’t hurting anyone.
Nora didn’t wholly agree with that statement, but she bit her tongue. In her professional opinion, Leo was ‘avoidance coping’ to escape dealing with his unresolved feelings. He had spent the past ten years in emotional isolation, stagnating his own personal growth. As desirable and charismatic as he was, when it came to interpersonal relationships he had the emotional intelligence of an 18 year old. In her personal opinion, he was a lost soul, a lovable guy terrified to love. Did he even think he deserved love? Nora had her doubts. So, was he hurting someone? Yeah, he was hurting himself.
She wasn’t judging him though. In many ways she related to his story. After Devon left she avoided dating like the plague, throwing herself into her studies instead. She gave the impression that she was just studious, but the truth was, she had been terrified to get hurt again. When it came to relationships, she was almost as stunted as Leo was, albeit in different ways. They actually had more in common than their differences, which was probably why they were so drawn to each other. Now that she knew his story, everything made more sense.
“She died you know,” Leo uttered, so quietly Nora barely heard him. “Corrine. She was in a car accident a few years after we split. My rig was the first on scene.”
Nora looked up at him, her eyes filled with compassion.
“Oh God Leo, how awful,” she gasped, reaching out to touch his arm.
“It really was. She was already gone when we rolled up, probably died instantly,” he continued, “I honestly thought I was over her, but after she passed I grieved pretty hard. I don’t know, maybe there was a part of me that always hoped we would get back together. Her death was like instant closure, you know? Like a heavy, iron portcullis slamming down.”
Nora found his choice of words curious. A portcullis was a massive gate protecting a fortress, a pretty fool proof way to ensure no one could storm the castle. It had certainly been effective for him.
“I’m so sorry. I can understand why that would be painful, Leo,” she sympathized quietly.
He nodded dismissively, the way men do when they don’t want to appear fragile.
“I’m really proud of you,” she praised, gently nudging him. “I know that this isn’t easy for you.”
“It’s okay,” he assured, placing his hand over hers, “you make it easy.”
He leaned down and kissed her softly on the mouth, lingering long enough for the butterflies in her stomach to flutter. He pulled away and smiled at her, one of those sexy, tough guy grins that most women find irresistible. She leaned in for another kiss and he happily obliged.
“Thanks for listening,” he whispered, his smiling face only inches from hers.
She inhaled deeply, relieved that he finally opened up to her. She needed him to trust her, to let her in. She couldn’t see herself in any relationship that didn’t include open, honest communication. Earth shattering sex only went so far, and only half as deep.
“Always, Leo. You’re safe with me,” she promised, “no matter where you and I end up, I’ll always be a soft place for you to land.”
“Oh yeah?” he growled, “I like your soft landing places...”
“Well, what do you say we go home and put that hot tub to use?” Nora purred, putting her arms around Leo’s neck.
He nodded and kissed her on the cheek before sliding off the picnic table. She quickly followed suit, mindful of the splinters scarring the old wood.
CHAPTER 19
LEO
A few hours later, Leo and Nora lazily held each other, naked and exhausted on his bed. Their sex had been passionate, as it always was, but this time it was something else. Something Leo couldn’t quite put his finger on. Typically for Leo, sex was driven by a primal need, an urgency to fill that deep, cavernous hole inside himself, to feel a little less empty, even if it was only for a little while. If he was being honest, regardless of how good the sex was, there was always something missing. Today, as he held Nora in his arms, he felt protective, honest, and completely present. He was there for her, with her. Each kiss, every caress, was savored, even the taste of her was intimately sweeter. It was like he had been fucking all these years disconnected from his own body, his senses muted.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Nora chimed in softly, her fingers teasing the soft hairs on his chest.
“My thoughts have cost you a fortune today,” Leo chuckled under his breath, “I’ll give you this one for free.”
“Deal,” she agreed, matching his playfulness. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s hard to explain,” he began tentatively, trying to articulate his feelings. “Remember last night, you said you were thinking about us, how to define us?”
He glanced her way, to see her reaction. Nora nodded, encouraging him to continue.
“I’m not sure how to define us either, but I know that I want to figure it out. I’d like to share more than your bed,” he confessed, lacing his fingers through hers.
He could see her looking at him from his peripheral vision, and hoped she was smiling.
“What do you think? Wanna go steady?”
She inhaled deeply, as though formulating her thoughts. Leo calmly waited for her response, knowing that after everything he laid on her that day, she deserved his patience.
“I think we can definitely talk about it,” she finally stammered, her tone heavy with thought.
Leo smiled softly to himself, pleased enough with her response.
“I’m having a small get together at my place next week, Thursday night. Some of my brothers from the department and their wives are coming for a barbecue and a few beers, nothing formal. My buddy will be there too, the one I told you about this morning. We don’t get together often because of his schedule. I’d like you to meet him. Do you want to come?” he asked, shifting his body to face her.
Nora offered him a nervous smile, nodding her head tentatively. She looked hesitant.
“What is it?” Leo asked, wondering if he said something wrong.
“Nothing,” she assured, her expression suddenly more confident, “I’d like to meet your friends.”
Leo let out his breath, relieved, and gave her a gentle kiss.
“I realized this morning that I’ve been protecting my heart for so long that I have no idea how to be vulnerable with someone. I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest, until you came along and knocked some sense into me, literally,” he grinned, recalling the first night they met.
“You’re the first woman since Corrine that I could maybe see a future with, and I also know you’re the kind of woman that won’t tolerate any bullshit. But I need to take this slow. I promise it’s going the right direction, but I can’t change overnight,” he offered genuinely.
He needed her to understand. He didn’t want to lose her, but he was also scared shitless.
“It’s okay, Leo. I understand. I need time to process all this too. One day at a time, okay?” she soothed, gently caressing his face.
He breathed a sigh of relief as she proved, one more time, that she was worth trying for. He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and they stayed that way for several minutes, as though trying to absorb each other’s thoughts.
“You must be starving,” he jumped in suddenly, aware that they hadn’t eaten in hours. His stomach growled angrily at him.
“I am,” she purred, sliding her hand down his chest. She gripped his cock forcefully, grinning at him.
“Do you mind?” she asked innocently, winking at him.
“Help yourself,” he offered shamelessly, rolling over on his back. Nora’s girlish giggle was quickly stifled as she pulled his cock into her mouth.
CHAPTER 20
NORA
The entire weekend had thrown Nora for a loop. She had hoped that she and Leo would connect on a higher level, and that he would reveal a different side to himself, but she’d had her doubts, especially after the first night. She couldn’t have been more proud of him. It had to have been really difficult for him, digging so deep. But, after their conversation Saturday morning, he seemed so much lighter, happier. The rest of the weekend was like a dream. He was much more affectionate and attentive than usual, and that meant a lot to her.
As much as Nora liked the ‘new’ Leo, she was cautiously optimistic. She needed to let everything settle down before jumping to happy conclusions, especially since her heart was being pulled in two directions. She was genuinely touched by Leo’s story, and how vulnerable he’d allowed himself to be. She finally saw a crack in his tough demeanor and could see glimpses of a possible future with him.
But she also saw a future with Gage.
She knew that she had to make a decision, but it wasn’t coming easily. With Gage, intimacy came so effortlessly, but the passion didn’t. With Leo the passion came easy, but intimacy was a constant struggle. Sure, he allowed himself to go there over the past weekend, but he admitted himself that he needed time, and that true change would be slow in coming. Nora had worked with enough commitment-phobic patients to know that sometimes change was easier said than done, and that once reality hit home, many of them ran the risk of running back to the safety of their cocoons. Nora had no interest in being Leo’s therapist or trying to fix him. She needed him to be able to stand on his own two feet and be a strong partner for her.
The time was fast approaching to have an honest and revealing conversation with both men. If she was developing loving feelings, chances were they might be too. She needed to make a choice before things went too far. She was especially worried about Leo. She didn’t want to crush his heart again, especially when he was just beginning to heal. And Gage, sweet Gage. She couldn’t imagine letting him go either. She could only hope that after her date with Gage on Tuesday, and after meeting Leo’s friends on Thursday, that her heart would reveal the truth she needed. Both men had asked her for something more, and she needed an answer for them.
* * *
She hadn’t been with Gage in over a week and had been looking forward to seeing him. She had missed him, and his sentimental texts had added to her longing. When he arrived at her place, part of her hoped that he would be so consumed with passion for her that he would rip her clothes off, push her against the wall and fuck her before they even said hello.
Of course, that didn’t happen. In true Gage fashion, he came in being as polite and shy as ever, waiting for her to initiate sex. She felt like they were at square one again, and although the sex was pleasant enough, good even, it frustrated the hell out of her. She thought they were past all that. She had completely understood, even appreciated, why he wanted to take things slow with her in the beginning, but they had already sealed the deal, so his modesty was confusing, and frustrating.
After they made love, they ate their dinner on the couch, chatting quietly about their week. The Kings were in the wild card race for the Western Division and had a 3-1 record on their last road trip. Gage was killing it in net. Nora listened attentively to his hockey tales, but was not overly talkative herself.
On paper, Gage had everything she could ever want in a partner, he was amazing, but she wondered just how compatible they were physically. As shallow as it sounded, it was important to be on the same page sexually. While she wasn’t into crazy, kinky shit, she wasn’t conservative either. Gage seemed to be a very traditional guy, and that weighed heavily on her mind.
“Hey, where did you go just now?” he questioned her sweetly, trying to catch her eye.
Nora looked up at him and smiled weakly, feeling bad that she drifted away.
“I’m sorry, I’m listening,” she apologized, taking her hand in his, “I just have so much on my mind.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I’ve been monopolizing the conversation. Tell me what you are thinking about,” he urged by gently squeezing her hand.
Nora sighed heavily, afraid to burden him with her worries. She certainly wasn’t ready to talk to him about his request to be more exclusive, not with Leo still on her mind, and how the hell could she tell him that she hoped he was capable of bringing more heat to the bedroom? How could she say something like that without hurting his feelings?
“Come on, Nora,” he pleaded, obviously something is weighing on you. Talk to me.”
“We have a really great relationship, and I’m so happy,” she stammered, looking at him nervously. She needed the words to come, the right words, but they were stuck in her throat.
“You don’t look happy,” he teased gently, a weary smile forming on his lips. She smiled back, hoping to reassure him.
“No, I am happy. We get along so well, you’re a fantastic guy,” she assured, still reaching for the words.
“But,” he blurted, his smile disappearing. She knew he had to be thinking the worst.
“No. No ‘but’. I have really strong feelings for you. I’m so into you,” Nora insisted, edging closer to him, “but I just feel like something is missing. The thing is, while our lovemaking is very sweet, I keep waiting for more passion. I want it to be there so badly, but it feels just out of reach.”
Gage’s face dropped, his expression stone cold, as he sat back in the couch. Nora felt horrible, but she had to be honest with him if there was any chance for them.
“Please don’t be upset. There is absolutely nothing wrong. You are so tender and caring and attentive. I love that about you. I just worry that maybe we aren’t on the same page sexually. I was hoping we could talk about it openly,” she offered as gently as possible.
“Not on the same page?” he questioned, his eyes filling with doubt. “I don’t understand.”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I am trying to say,” Nora pouted, wishing desperately she hadn’t brought it up.
“No, obviously it bothers you and so it’s important that we talk about it,” he insisted, swallowing his pride.
Nora met his eyes, slowly drawing in a breath and then releasing it uneasily. How do you tell someone you want them to be a bad boy in bed?
CHAPTER 21
GAGE
Gage leaned forward and picked his wine glass up off the coffee table, taking a slow, deliberate sip while he waited for Nora to gather her thoughts. It bothered the fuck out of him that she was not happy, especially since it obviously had to do with sex. She thought that he wasn’t passionate? Was she serious? He couldn’t be more passionate about her.
Last time they were together, she had asked him why he had been holding back, and this time she admitted that she needed more passion from him. What did she mean? Did she think he was not assertive enough? Boring? Prudish? Uncreative? Fuck, he hoped not. He just wanted to make sure that she felt loved and cared for, and not think that he was only interested in her for sex. Christ if she only knew how many times he just wanted to bend her over his car, or over the desk, or on top of the dining room table and just bang her senseless. In his fantasies, he was no gentleman.
Nora smiled at him weakly, before refilling her wine glass as well and setting the bottle back down on the coffee table.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you wanted to be more assertive, and take charge, I wouldn’t object. I feel like maybe you’re holding back, and I, well, it makes me wonder why? If you’re afraid or worried about anything, don’t be. I want us to feel safe to explore anything with each other,” Nora croaked nervously.
Gage chuckled under his breath, a sense of relief washing over him. For a moment he thought she was trying to find a way to end things with him. He knew he needed to step up his game in the bedroom, he wanted to, hell he had been waiting for the moment that he could let down his guard. He had been raised to respect his woman, to make sure that she wanted his advances. His mother would have cuffed him in the ear if she ever thought that he was behaving like an entitled douche bag. She had drilled it into his head to make sure that he had consent before ever making advances. Apparently, that respect came across to Nora as shy, reserved and passionless. Fuck, he hoped he could prove her wrong.
“I want that too,” he assured, “You have no idea how much I want that.”
Nora smiled broadly at him, as though relieved that he understood.
“I’m not as reserved as you may think I am, woman,” he growled, inching closer to her, suddenly feeling the need to prove his prowess. If she wanted a man, she was going to get a man.
“No?” she teased sliding away from him coyly, tempting him to follow, “Not a shy, passive guy? Are you sure?”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure,” he crowed, setting his wine glass down, and then hers. He crawled over the couch towards her, his cock quickly stiffening between his legs. He unbuttoned his jeans assertively, and pushed her into the sofa cushions, laying her back, then forced her arms over her head in one swift move. She moaned underneath him, her wide eyes brimming with curiosity.
“Don’t move,” he growled, releasing her arms, “stay right there.” He pulled up her skirt and ripped her panties off her, tossing them on the floor beside him, coaxing another moan out of her. He knew he was being rough, but the drive inside him was powerful. He wanted to take her.
“Gage,” Nora whispered, squirming underneath him. He brought his mouth down on hers, hard, forcing his tongue inside.
“Shhh,” he commanded, as he pulled his lips away from hers, “don’t talk unless I tell you to.”
Nora gasped, pulling in her breath sharply, but he could tell it was not in objection. She was digging it. He flipped her over on her stomach, and pushed his groin into her so she could feel how hard he was inside his jeans, then buried his face into her neck to bite her sensitive flesh. She smelled like coconut, sweat and sex, her pheromones perfuming her skin, arousing all his senses. She giggled and tried to pull away.
“No,” he insisted, landing a playful but firm smack on her ass. “Just stay still. Don’t move an inch.”
Gage, slid his hand between her legs, plunging his fingers inside her. She was soaking wet and ready for him. He fucked her with his fingers, while he used his free hand to hold her down. She rocked her hips in unison, forcing him to penetrate her deeper, while she gasped for breath. He knew she was close.
“Don’t cum, Nora. Not until I tell you to. Tonight, I own your cunt, do you hear me?” he insisted, his breath hot in her ear. His erection throbbed inside his pants, begging for release.
He picked her up and leaned her over the arm of the couch, spreading her knees beneath her so he could have better access to her. He leaned in behind her, wrapping a hand around her hip so he could rub her clit. She moaned deeply, sharing her approval. His fingers found her hole again and easily slipped inside. She twisted and squirmed against the couch, begging him for release, but he was having too much fun torturing her.
He chuckled flirtatiously, and whispered in her ear, “You are so fucking sexy, your pussy is hot and wet. Do you want to be fucked?”
“Yesssss,” she gasped, pushing her ass into him.
“Beg me, dirty girl. Tell me what you want,” he demanded, smacking her ass a second time.
She groaned desperately, and put her head down, as though the pleasure was too much.
“Fuck me,” she whispered, her words barely audible. “I can’t hear you,” he growled back, again grinding himself into her.
“Fuck me,” she begged, this time a little louder.
He laughed roguishly, heavily aroused by her need.
Gage took his pants off, releasing his angry erection. He searched for a condom in his pockets but couldn’t find one.
“Dammit,” he groaned, throwing his pants on the ground. Nora knew exactly what the problem was and giggled into a pillow.
“Oh, you think this is funny?” he scolded, throwing himself over her. She turned her head sideways so she could meet his eyes, playfully grinning at him. His cock slid between her legs, feeling the sensation of her exquisite wetness lubricating his shaft. God he wanted to bare back her. He hadn’t fucked a woman without a condom in a long, long time and the temptation nearly split him in half. She seemed to enjoy his manly flesh rubbing against her swollen folds as well, as her legs spread open even wider. She moaned his name, and slipped her hand between her legs, tugging on his cock so she could massage her clit with it.
“Jesus, woman, you’re fucking killing me,” he groaned, pushing himself dangerously close to her opening.
“I’m fucking cumming,” she gasped, pushing back into him, “Please, let me cum.”
“Yes,” he stammered, his own cock dripping with excitement.
“Fuck me,” she insisted breathlessly, practically impaling herself onto his blade, “It’s ok, just do it, please.”
He knew she was lost in the heat of the moment, he was too, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. He grabbed her shoulders and plunged his cock into her, as deep as it would go, until her beautiful, curvy ass pressed against his groin. In and out, in and out, her sweet wetness seducing him.
The pleasure was fucking brilliant. He held her hips, rocking himself into her while she squirmed and moaned beneath him. Within seconds she came, her pussy, like velvet, throbbed and tightened around his cock. It was a sensation unlike anything he had ever felt before, and he was close to climaxing himself, but he wanted to enjoy her for as long as he could.
He pulled himself out of her, slow and deliberately, then encouraged her to turn over. As soon as her pretty face was within reach he kissed her, this time a little more gently, but with no less passion. She held his face in her hands, kissing him back with equal intensity.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he croaked, slipping his erection between her thighs.
She opened herself up for him, wrapping her legs around his waist, inviting his cock home. He eased his way into her, pumping his thick shaft against the walls of her pussy, pushing himself deeper and deeper into her, his lover’s squeaks, whispers, and moans fully arousing him
“Tell me one of your sexiest fantasies,” he uttered breathlessly, his eyes locked to hers, “don’t hold back, I want to know the dirtiest one.”
Nora looked at him seductively and bit her bottom lip.
“I, um, I, want to be... with two men,” she panted, sliding her hands down his back to the roundness of his muscular ass, pulling him in tighter. “at the same time. I want to be fucked by them both.”
The thought of Nora being turned on by her fantasy, imagining two men fucking her while she writhed in pleasure, was enough to send Gage over the edge. He imagined himself in that scenario with her, fucking her from behind while she pleasured another man, Nora sucking his cock while another man ate her pussy, the two of them penetrating her at once, all of them cumming at the same time, bodies entwined in a tangle of saliva, sweat, and cum. It was a fucking hot fantasy.
He could feel the orgasm surging in his groin, building with an intensity that rocked his hips even more, forced his cock even deeper, pumping faster and faster until he exploded inside her, his hot seed spilling into her fevered body. She tightened her grip on his ass, her thighs squeezing against him as she climaxed herself, screaming out his name over and over, her body bucking beneath him as he watched her in awe.
She held him while he laid on top of her, giving him time to recover. He could feel his erection surrendering to the exhaustion, his warm, sticky semen spilling out of her as her pussy released its grip on him. His body tingled from the endorphins, all of his senses heightened. He was acutely aware of her breathing, hypnotized by its soothing rhythm. If heaven existed, this was it. This exact feeling.
“I may have jumped to conclusions with you,” Nora mused, shifting her body beneath him.
He rolled on his side, allowing her to wiggle out from under him. She turned to him and smiled.
“You think?” he grinned back, tracing a finger over her cheek bone and down her chin, pulling her towards him for a kiss.
“Yes, smart ass. You know I did,” she said, pouting playfully. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I understand why you did,” he comforted. “I can be shy. It takes a while for me to come out of my shell. Seriously, I appreciate your honesty, because it opened the door for me to be myself.”
Nora nodded and smiled at him gratefully. Gage kissed her again, happy that the ice between them was finally broken. He had a feeling there was a lot more fun to be had together, especially if they were comfortable enough to get freaky together.
“Just so you know,” he insisted, his eyes filled with mischief, “I would have eventually kicked that damn door open myself.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind, babe,” Nora agreed, snuggling in a little closer.
CHAPTER 22
NORA
“So now what?” Dana mused, popping a french fry into her mouth.
Nora looked up at her twin, shaking her head. If only there was an easy answer to that question. Last night with Gage had been damn near perfect. After their amazing sex he drew her a bubble bath, lighting the candles in the bathroom, and invited her in. While she sat in the tub, he bathed her lovingly, even washing her hair for her, proving that he had both ‘wildly assertive’ and ‘deliciously romantic’ on his resume.
And then there was Leo. He had been so honest and brave with her, opening his heart just a little wider to make space for her. He had shown her how passionate he could be, from the dance hall to the bedroom, and his story had touched her heart.
“Why did you tell me it was okay to date two men at the same time?” Nora groaned. “Worst idea ever!”
“Because it’s not the 50’s anymore,” Dana laughed. “Women are allowed to explore their options and play the field just like men have been doing for thousands of years. Come on, how bad can it be?”
“It’s bad,” Nora admitted, sitting back in her desk chair. “I can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to them. I have really strong feelings for both of them, and since polyamory is still not socially acceptable, I can’t fall in love with two men.”
“And yet you are?” Dana surmised, looking at her sister with empathy.
Nora shrugged, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Shit, really?”
“I’m not sure. I am. I think. Fuck.” Nora stammered, her anxiety coloring her cheeks.
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and lowered them before Dana could see them.
“Awww, Nora,” her sister comforted, “it will be okay. There must be one of them that you have stronger feelings for. Who are you in love with?”
Nora looked up at her sister, her eyes filled with doubt. Who was she in love with?
When she hadn’t spoken in several minutes, Dana chimed back in, “What are you thinking?”
“I love... well it’s... I think... I think I really need to know how to finish this sentence before I can talk to either of them. Maybe I need some time to myself to figure it out. When I am with Leo, I feel like it’s him. He challenges me, excites me in a way I didn’t think was possible. He gives me the butterflies whenever we are together. But then, when I’m with Gage, I’m sure it’s him,” Nora explained softly, her voice barely a whisper, as though she was just thinking out loud and Dana was not even in the room with her.
“And what is it about Gage?” Dana asked, her voice just as hushed.
“Gage,” Nora smiled, “he is so loving, and considerate, and thoughtful. He makes me happy, comfortable, safe. I feel like he’s my best friend.”
“Oh,” Dana grimaced, hoping that friend wasn’t a bad thing.
“No, no, he’s not in the friend zone, trust me,” Nora insisted. “We have a great physical connection too, especially after last night. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like Gage would always have my back, no matter what.”
“And Leo?” Dana asked curiously. “Would he always have your back?”
“That’s a good question.” Nora wondered, her voice trailing off.
She didn’t know that yet. Gage seemed to always want to take care of Nora, opening doors for her, checking in with her to make sure she was happy, doing little things to make her feel loved. Leo, on the other hand, was more of a modern man. He treated her as more of an equal, assuming she could take care of herself, which she could. He seemed certain that if she wasn’t happy about something, she would speak up, which she was starting to do. He had shown her in different ways that he cared, but it was just more subtle. It took her a while to get used to Leo’s style, but she liked the challenge. Would he have her back? Protect her heart? Put her needs above his own? That remained to be seen.
She just needed to decide what traits she desired from a partner more in the long term. What would ultimately make her feel like she was in a balanced, happy, and respectful relationship?
“Well, I like Gage,” Dana crowed, winking at her twin. “He’s frigging gorgeous and super sweet.”
“That he is, but in all fairness, you haven’t met Leo yet,” Nora exclaimed, knowing her sister was biased, “and you only met Gage twice, and both times were for just a few minutes!”
“Along with what you have told me about him, he just seems like a decent guy. Devon was so self-centered and you always had to work so hard with him. He made you jump through hoops, remember? I just worry that Leo might be the same,” Dana insisted, holding nothing back. “I understand your attraction to him, I really do, but are you sure this is not just about you wanting to hang with the cool kids all over again? Trying to prove your worthiness?”
Nora stared at her sister, her mouth agape, shocked by the allegation. It wasn’t uncommon for her to get annoyed by Dana’s opinions, hell, they didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but this was too much! Nora was not a self-conscious teenager anymore! She was well beyond that, and the fact that her sister couldn’t see that was infuriating.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I worry about you. You deserve the best, and I feel like you are too close to the situation to see things clearly. Obviously Leo is a hot guy, but there is more to a relationship than sex!” Dana chided, dangerously close to crossing the line.
“Don’t you think I know that?” Nora snapped. “I’m not an idiot, Dana!”
“I know you’re not, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just that I know a thing or two about this. Once the bloom is off the rose—and trust me, it will happen—there has to be something more to get you through the rough patches, those ups and downs that will inevitably come. You must remember that with Devon!” Dana offered, trying to redeem herself. “As much as I love Sam, our sex life is not as hot as it once was, if we weren’t close in other ways, it would be difficult to go through this ‘down’ with him, you know? The transfer to New York.”
Nora understood what she was saying, but Dana didn’t know everything Nora knew about Leo, or Gage. She took a deep breath, trying to gather herself. Dana was entitled to her opinion, it didn’t make her right.
“I wish you had a chance to meet him, that’s all. I feel like you would understand a little better, just why I am so torn,” Nora said, trying to keep her tone level.
She really needed her sister to appreciate what she saw in Leo, so she could understand why he meant so much to her.
“Well, I would have if he hadn’t avoided meeting me,” Dana grumbled, pushing her food away.
Nora sighed, unable to conceal her frustration.
“He wasn’t avoiding you, he had to work,” she offered half-heartedly, annoyed that she had to defend him.
It sounded like she was making excuses for him, and that would only feed into Dana’s doubts.
“Well then, why don’t I go with you tomorrow night? I’m not in rehearsal and Sam is working on a big case at the moment. It might be nice. If he is introducing you to his friends, it might be a great time to bring me along. Less pressure,” Dana suggested cautiously.
“That’s interesting,” Nora agreed.
It actually wasn’t a bad idea, Nora thought, confident that Leo wouldn’t mind.
“I’m heading over right after work. Do you think you can meet me here, at 5:00?”
Dana grinned at her, nodding her head enthusiastically.
“I’ll be here! I can’t wait to meet him, maybe he’ll prove me wrong.”
“I think once you meet him you will understand what I see in him,” Nora offered warmly, hoping in her heart of hearts it was true.
* * *
The drive to Leo’s place had been relatively easy. They had squeezed their way through a traffic jam, but other than that they made good time. Although she had been a little irritated with her sister, she was grateful that Dana was joining her. She had texted Leo earlier in the day for directions and asked him if Dana could come. He graciously agreed, even stating that he was excited to meet her. Nora took that as a sign that they had indeed been making great strides. She was in a wonderful mood, not only was she happy to meet Leo’s friends, she only had one more day of work before her vacation started. She had scheduled herself off for two weeks, her first time since starting her practice.
Leo lived in a modest condo close to the fire station, a two story town home with an overgrown garden in the front. It was clear that the place needed a woman’s touch, Nora thought, smiling to herself. She looked at her sister and shrugged.
“Kind of a cute place, right?” Nora mused, taking her sister by the arm.
“Have you not been here before?” Dana asked, a note of surprise in her voice.
“Actually, no, this is the first time. We always just stayed at my place,” Nora answered back, suddenly feeling insecure.
Was that odd, she wondered? Dana noted the look on her face and smiled.
“Well, we’re here now, right? That’s a good sign.”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Nora agreed, leading her sister up the stairs.
Leo answered the door looking fine, the scent of his aftershave filling the space between them. He pulled Nora into his arms and gave her a kiss.
“Hi, I’m glad you made it. This must be the sister you’ve been talking about,” he said, holding his hand out to her.
Dana shook his hand and smirked at him.
“I’m Dana. Don’t believe a word of what she tells you. Unless it was about how fucking awesome I am, then it’s all true,” she quipped, rolling her eyes at him playfully.
“Only good things. She left out the part about how beautiful you are though,” he flirted, in typical Leo fashion.
Dana giggled girlishly, succumbing to his charms.
“I did not,” Nora chimed in, grateful that Leo seemed so at ease. “I told him well in advance and also warned him you were married.”
“Lucky man,” Leo winked, stepping aside so the two women could enter. “Come on in, everyone is out back on the patio. I just turned on the grill.”
“I brought wine,” Nora said, handing him the bottle as she passed him. “It’s the St. Francis Merlot we had on our first date.”
Leo cocked his head and smiled, taking the wine from her.
“That’s pretty thoughtful. Thank you.”
He quickly kissed her again, then led them up the stairs to the backyard. There were three couples sitting around a long patio table, all of them looking very comfortable with one another, the way really good friends do. Nora hoped that she and Dana would be able fit into their cozy clique. As soon as they saw the women, they all stopped talking, but continued to smile. One of the men stood up and came closer.
“Guys, this is Nora,” Leo said proudly, drawing her a little closer, “and her twin sister Dana. Ladies, this fella here is my buddy Chuck, but we call him Pitbull, and the pretty blonde at the end is his wife Leah.”
Nora gave them a little wave, acknowledging the introduction.
“And just beside Leah is Mandy, and that ugly mother-fucker beside her is Shrek. You can probably guess why,” Leo continued, with a spirited chuckle.
“Otherwise known as Joe,” Shrek chortled, giving Leo the finger.
Everyone laughed.
“That handsome bastard with the red hair is Paddy, a.k.a. Patrick, and his girlfriend, Kate,” Leo finished, looking back at Nora with a grin.
She had never seen him so relaxed, and it suited him.
“How’s it going,” Dana called out, never uncomfortable meeting new people. “Did you save some beer for us?”
“Yeah, come on over, pull up a chair!” Shrek called out, gesturing for her to sit down.
“So, you all have nicknames?” Nora asked, following Leo to the table.
He unfolded a chair for her so she could sit down, beside what she assumed would be his seat.
“We sure do,” Paddy smirked, toasting his beer bottle at no one. “It’s a badge of honor in the department to have a nickname.”
“What’s yours, Leo?” Dana chirped, taking the beer Shrek just cracked opened for her.
“Who, the Italian Stallion?” Chuck/Pitbull teased, taking a seat beside his wife. “We call him Romeo...”
“Or Lieutenant,” Leo grunted, shooting them a playful warning with his eyes.
Nora laughed along with everyone else, taking Leo’s hand in hers. The nickname didn’t surprise her.
She looked up at Leo and smiled, but he was looking around, as though he was missing someone.
“Where’s Coop?”
Nora felt a prickle of fear claw down her spine just before her skin went ice cold. She looked across the table, her eyes searching for her sister.
“He just went to the bathroom, I think,” one of the wives offered.
Nora didn’t see which one.
Dana didn’t appear to have heard Leo’s question, but when she finally made eye contact with Nora, she could tell that her sister was distressed. She raised her eyebrows, in an unspoken question. Nora shook her head weakly, unsure of what to think.
“Okay,” Leo replied, sitting down beside Nora. “Hand me one of those brewskies, will ya Paddy?”
“Coop?” Nora asked discreetly, hoping not to draw attention to herself.
“Ya, Coop! Gage Cooper. He’s the friend I was telling you about, my high school buddy, from Ojai?” Leo reminded her, taking a sip of his beer.
It was almost unnoticeable, but he offered her a look that begged her discretion, as though he didn’t want the others to know the whole story. Nora was sure no one else would have caught it. She swallowed hard, fear catching in her throat. Never in a million years did she imagine that her two lovers knew each other, let alone that they would end up in the same place together. How in the hell was she supposed to handle this, she wondered, downing the glass of wine that had been placed in front of her. Leo looked at her inquisitively.
“Is everything ok?” he asked, more out of curiosity than concern. Nora looked at him and nodded slowly, trying to force a smile.
“Yes, I just remembered I forgot to call my service. Will you excuse me for a minute?” she asked, grabbing her purse. In her haste, she knocked Leo’s beer off the table and it came crashing down onto the patio stones beneath. It smashed into a million pieces, mirroring precisely how Nora felt, her life unfolding that very moment. Dana looked up, alarmed by her sister’s uncharacteristic behavior. She got up to offer a hand but Nora was already under the table with one of the wives, picking up the broken glass.
In the midst all the chaos, Coop walked through the patio doors. He smiled at Dana, and offered her a look, mixed with both recognition and confusion, as though wondering why she was there. Suddenly, the situation became crystal clear to Dana. Nora was in a deep, dark bucket of shit.
“Coop!” Leo called out, waving his friend over. “I want you to meet someone.”
Nora wished she could have stayed under the table for the rest of the night, mortified by her predicament. She had always been very honest with both of them that she was seeing other people, but this? This was possibly too much for all of them to bear. It was awful. There was only one thing she could do, stand up and embrace the suck.
She got up, minding not to bash her head into the table, then turned to face her karma. Seeing both of her lovers standing in front of her, side by side, was a shock to her system. She felt queasy, like she was suddenly on an amusement park ride that was decidedly more terrifying than amusing.
“This is Nora,” Leo said proudly, holding out his hand, gesturing her towards him.
Gage looked at her curiously. Nora noticed his lip twitch ever so slightly, as though he didn’t know whether to smile or frown. She waited for him to speak, mainly because she didn’t know what the hell to say that could make the situation any better.
“Hi there,” Gage greeted, his muted voice suggesting recognition.
He looked over at her twin and waved.
“Hi Dana.”
Dana grinned at him sheepishly and waved back, gratefully silent.
“Do you guys all know each other?” Leo asked.
He looked between the three of them, pleasantly surprised. The girls stared at one another smiling weakly, but didn’t speak. Nora reluctantly looked back at Gage, waiting for him to drop the bomb.
“Yes,” Gage nodded, meeting Nora’s regretful gaze, “we met at a game awhile back, during a reception, a business function if I recall. A room full of stuffy male lawyers and these two beauties. You can imagine where I found myself.”
His voice trailed off as he broke eye contact with Nora. She knew that he was just as stunned and confused as she was and yet he chose to be discreet, and save her from public humiliation.
“Of course you would,” Leo said, playfully punching his buddy’s shoulder. “Who wouldn’t?”
“Good to see you again, Coop,” Dana chirped, giving him a grateful look.
He waved back half-heartedly, but didn’t smile. Nora wished that she could go to him and pull him into her arms. To do something, anything, to make him feel better.
“Grab another beer buddy, take my seat. I’m just gonna grab a broom to sweep up some of this glass,” Leo said, signaling to Paddy to grab two more beers, one for himself and one for his friend.
He turned and walked cheerfully back into the house, oblivious to the shit storm raging around him.
Nora sat down beside Gage, unable to make eye contact with him. The other guests just carried on as though nothing had happened, the men chipping on one another while the wives talked amongst themselves and Dana. They tried to include Nora in the conversation, and she pretended to be interested, but her mind was spinning off into the stratosphere. She could feel the adrenalin coursing through her body, as the fight or flight kicked in, warning her of impending doom, begging her to make a choice, run or prepare for battle. She wanted to get the fuck out of there, but for the fact that her legs were like rubber bands and weren’t likely to hold her up.
Leo returned shortly with a broom and dust pan, and one of the ladies took it from him. Kate, if Nora remembered correctly. She went to work sweeping up the last of the splinters while Leo came over to Nora and put his hands on her shoulders. She handed him his beer, looking over her shoulder at him. He smiled at her, but Nora only nodded in return, her eyes catching Gage’s on their way back down. He smiled at her warmly, his eyes filled with empathy. And something else. Concern? Was he worried about her?
Dinner passed by slowly and painfully for Nora. She did her best to appear cheerful, but it was not easy. She had never been more grateful in her life that her sister was there to pick up the slack. Dana was her charming self, entertaining the room with tales of Dance With Me and the various celebrities on the show—who was the nicest, who was the biggest diva, who got caught masturbating in the janitor closet right before a show. Leo’s friends were enchanted with her. Leo himself was busy playing the perfect host, making sure that everyone was well fed and content, in typical Italian fashion. He would catch Nora’s eye and wink every now and then, as though he was proud of her, happy that she was finally a part of his circle. She smiled back at him but she felt sick inside, knowing that in just a few short hours his good mood would drastically change. Gage seemed to be blending in too, but as soon as everyone started mingling after dinner, he made his way to the opposite side of the yard, away from her.
While everyone was in the midst of a heated conversation about politics, Nora excused herself to use the bathroom. She needed to freshen up and regroup. Nothing in her life, or her education, had prepared her for any of this. She knew that before the end of the evening her life was going to flip on its axis. It was quite possible that the only answer was for her to end it with both Leo and Gage. They were friends. More than that, they were like brothers. Gage had saved Leo’s life, they were connected forever by the threads of karma. She could never break that bond. She didn’t think she could ever come between them. They needed each other. Leo had so few people in his life he could open up to, and now the two he trusted the most were sleeping together!
She inhaled deeply, trying to ease her regret, and splashed cool water on her flushed face and neck. She couldn’t meet her eyes in the mirror in front of her, or face her own foolishness. It was too painful.
As she stepped out of the bathroom she was caught by surprise by Gage, waiting for her outside the door. He offered her his hand and silently led her into, what she assumed, was Leo’s spare bedroom, closing the door behind them.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned, his kind eyes searching her own.
She looked at him apologetically, her heart filled with shame and shook her head.
“No, not even close,” she whispered, looking at the floor.
“Well, this was a plot twist, wasn’t it?” he offered warmly, not an inkling of anger anywhere.
He placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face so she could meet his eyes. He looked apprehensive, maybe even sorrowful, but also understanding. She wished she deserved his love.
“Yes, very twisted,” Nora agreed passively, “and so very awkward. I’m sorry Gage. I don’t even know what to say. I feel just awful about this.”
He smiled at her sweetly, releasing her chin.
“Just a little awkward. You must be a mess.”
“You could say that. I’ve been struggling for a few weeks now, trying to figure out my feelings. I never imagined that the two men I have been dating, knew each other. This is so fucked up,” she stammered, tears welling up in her eyes. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you both. I swear, I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“I know that, Nora. I know you,” Gage whispered, taking her hands in his. “You’re a good person. I know you wouldn’t deliberately play me.”
She couldn’t stop herself. Her tears spilled out of her and she sobbed uncontrollably, releasing all the feelings that she had pent up all night. Worry, embarrassment, shame, doubt, and sadness, all pouring down her cheeks in a stream of regret.
Gage pulled her close and she cried on his shoulder. He rocked her gently, while she shook with grief, whispering gently in her ear, “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”
After a few minutes, her tears stopped. She eased herself out of his embrace, and looked up at him, wiping the tears off her cheeks. He quietly returned her stare, patiently waiting for her to gather herself, just holding space for her to come to whatever conclusion she needed to. She adored him for that.
“Do you love him?” Gage asked quietly, as soon as she seemed stable again.
She looked up at him and nodded, knowing the time for complete transparency was upon them. He looked away frowning, as though her admission was too painful to process. She didn’t rush him, knowing he had earned the right to be upset.
“And me?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.
She saw the love he had for her. Pure, unconditional, and honest. She knew in that moment that Gage just wanted the best for her because of that love.
“Yes.”
He nodded pensively at her, clearly struggling with his feelings.
“I will completely understand if you never want to see me again,” Nora whispered, struggling to even say the words.
Thoughts that Gage might disappear from her life suddenly became all too real and Nora started to shake. She felt her nausea dangerously climbing up her throat.
“I know you would, Nora, but that’s not going to happen,” he answered confidently. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it, even if you’re not mine.”
He smiled at her and kissed her forehead, then brushed the hair out of her eyes.
“I love you, to the deepest part of your soul,” he promised, bringing his lips gently down on hers. Nora kissed him back, allowing him to forgive her.
She and Gage decided that they would wait until the party was over so that the three of them could have an honest discussion. Leo needed to know that he was a part of this odd little love triangle they found themselves in. They made their way, undiscovered, back to the festivities, first Nora, and then Gage a few minutes later. She offered Leo an excuse that she was making the phone call to her service that she had forgotten about earlier. Dana slipped up beside her and asked her if she was okay. Nora assured her sister that she was fine, promising to talk to her about it the next day. Nora asked if Dana would be okay leaving without her, and driving her car home. She would Uber home later. She knew her sister was worried, but she assured her again that she would work through it and was prepared for whatever the outcome would be.
Just before eleven, Leo’s friends started making their way home, Dana following close behind. While the three of them were in the kitchen tidying up, Leo snuggled behind Nora for a quick embrace, telling her how happy he was that she was staying. The anguished look on Gage’s face did not get past Nora. She knew that this was hurting him, in spite of all his reassurance. She quietly worked beside the two men, running through the dialogue she hoped to summon when it came time to confess. She was distressed and Leo was picking up on it.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, putting away the dishes she had just dried.
Gage looked over at her with a reassuring expression and an almost imperceptible nod.
“You seemed off tonight, not your cheerful self. I thought you would be happy to finally meet my friends. Did someone piss you off?” Leo teased. “Was it that son of a bitch over there? He can be such a prick sometimes.”
Leo laughed at his own joke, playfully throwing a dish towel at his buddy. Gage grinned awkwardly, knowing what was to come. Nora knew she had to tell him.
“I need to talk to you,” Nora said, treading as carefully as she could. “Can we sit down?”
Leo looked at her, as though carefully assessing her mood, then shrugged at Gage.
“Sure. Is it okay if we wait until after Gage leaves?” Leo agreed, obviously thrown off by Nora’s timing.
“Actually, I need to talk to you both,” Nora said, chewing her bottom lip, “if that’s okay?”
Leo looked thoroughly confused but nodded his head nevertheless. He followed Nora into the living room, with Gage close on his heels. He took the seat closest to Nora on the sofa, while Gage sat on a chair across from them. She could tell from the look on his face that Leo was wary about what she might have to say, perhaps concerned that she might bring up his suicide attempt. That would be the only conclusion he could probably draw from her strange behavior.
“So, what’s up? What did you want to talk to us about?” Leo asked, sending her a cautious glance.
“This is going to come as a huge shock to you, but I want you to promise that you will hear me out, okay?” Nora began, hoping he would be as patient and understanding as Gage had been. “We can talk more about it later, just you and I, but for now Gage needs to be here because it involves him.”
Leo looked even more perplexed, but he agreed.
“Do you remember that when we started to see one another we agreed that we would keep things casual? See other people?” Nora asked, hoping this was the best way to unveil the truth to him.
The look on Leo’s face showed her that he already understood where she was going.
“Wait, are you telling me that you two dated each other while you and I were seeing each other?” Leo had a smile on his face but she could tell he had an ocean of thoughts suddenly flooding his brain.
He looked at Coop, who nodded cautiously at him.
“That’s fucking crazy. How crazy is that?” Leo chuckled, running his hand through his dark hair. “Small fucking world.”
“Yes,” Nora agreed, sensing that Leo didn’t completely understand what was actually going on.
It was apparent to her that he assumed that things between her and Coop were just casual, or maybe even a one-time fling.
“No wonder you felt so uncomfortable when he walked in. You could have just said something. Coop, why didn’t you say anything? It’s cool,” Leo assured, sitting back into the sofa, as though relieved.
Nora cleared her throat, and looked down, trying to think of another approach.
“I didn’t want to call Nora out in front of your friends,” Gage jumped in, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.
Nora knew that Gage was waiting for her to share, or not share, whatever she needed to. She was grateful for his consideration.
“Leo, the truth is, I’ve been seeing both of you for the past few months. I actually met you around the same time as I met Gage,” Nora confessed, trying to find the kindest words she could. “In that time I’ve become quite attached to you both.”
Leo regarded Nora carefully, allowing her words to land, his face expressionless, as he tried to absorb this news. She was having a hard time reading him, but she continued anyway.
“It wasn’t until these last few weeks that I realized each of you were developing feelings for me as well. In fact, you both revealed your feelings almost at the same time. You can imagine how confusing that was,” she looked to each of them to show her some sign of understanding or validation, but Leo offered her nothing.
Gage’s expression gently urged her to continue.
“I felt the time was coming to say goodbye to one of you, but it was so damn hard. You’re both incredible men and each of you offered me something so unique and different. The truth is, I was hoping that after tonight I would know, that I would receive some sort of sign about which path I needed to choose.”
“Well, if this isn’t a sign begging you to make up your damn mind, I don’t know what is,” Leo blurted, the anger masking his pain.
She knew that this would hurt him. It took a lot of courage for him to finally let her in, and now he was probably forming opinions and conclusions that validated his own insecurities. She wished she could reassure him, to make him understand that loving Gage didn’t make her love him less. That’s why it was so fucking confusing for her.
Leo looked at Gage, his expression muddled with mixed emotions.
“You look like you knew about this?” he blurted, his tone heavy with accusation.
“I just found out tonight, too. When I saw Nora and her sister, I put it all together,” Gage assured, keeping his own emotions masked, as though not wanting to add fuel to the fire.
“And you’re okay with this?” Leo snapped at Gage, his Italian temper getting the better of him.
Nora felt the shame coloring her face. She hated the pain she was causing him. He didn’t deserve it.
“Of course not!” Gage retorted, impatiently, “Anyone else but you, man. I hate that this happened, but it’s no one’s fault. It’s an unfortunate coincidence and I think we need to remember that.”
Leo shrugged his shoulders, looking visibly distressed. Nora was grateful when Gage continued to speak, as she was struggling to keep her own emotions under control.
“I’m sorry, Nora, I know this is difficult for you,” he added, seeing the anguish on her face. “I think the point of this conversation is to clear the air, put it all on the table, but we aren’t going to resolve anything tonight. I hope not anyway. I feel like we all need to sleep on it, and let it sink in.”
Taking charge and staying calm and reasonable, despite a chaotic and stressful situation proved why Gage was a successful goalie. The goaltender was in charge in and around the net, defending the space behind the crease, protecting the team, if you will. It was his job to fall on the sword, metaphorically speaking, and that seemed to be what he was doing. Nora was grateful that he took it upon himself to guide them through a potential melt down.
“Can I say something?” Nora asked apprehensively, looking from one lover to the other.
Gage nodded passively, but Leo kept his head down, not offering her any indication that he had even heard her. Nora decided to speak anyway, hoping he would listen.
“I think I need some time to myself, to put some distance between us,” she reflected quietly, her voice tight in her throat. “I feel sick about this, but I never meant for it to happen and I don’t want to come between you. If it turns out neither of you want to see me again, I’ll understand. I promise I will. No hard feelings. I just hope that you will remember the beautiful connection we had and remember me with fondness, because I know I will.”
The last few words were hard to get out, as her tears started flowing again. Leo looked up at her finally, his expression suddenly warming to her. He reached out and took her hand in his, holding it tentatively. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
“I’m sorry, Nora, I’m just having a hard time with this. I know we talked about keeping our relationship casual, but it never even dawned on me that you were actually seeing other men, let alone one of my good buddies. I just assumed that you were a one man woman,” Leo said, probably sounding more shaming than he meant to.
Nora gave him the benefit of the doubt, knowing that he was likely stumbling from the blow. His ego was understandably fragile. She looked at Gage, who seemed to be more offended by Leo’s words than she was. It must have been his cue, because he stood up, fishing his keys out of his pocket.
“I think I should go. I’m sure you both need some time alone to talk,” he murmured, meeting Nora’s eyes. He smiled warmly at her, as though offering her moral support.
He walked towards them, holding his hand out to Leo in a peace offering.
“Leo, brother, take it easy man. I love ya.”
Without hesitation, Leo shook his friend’s hand affectionately. As soon as they released their grip, Gage turned to Nora and held his hand out to her, helping her to stand. He embraced her warmly, and whispered in her ear that no matter what happened to remember that he loved her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he might be saying goodbye.
CHAPTER 23
LEO
After Coop left, Leo felt a little more at ease. He could talk to Nora freely without worrying about upsetting Coop. He knew what he and Nora had together, and he was pretty sure that their relationship was more solid than hers with Coop. As much as he loved him, knew his friend could never make Nora happy, not the way he could.
“I’m sorry, Leo, I really am. I had no idea that you two knew each other,” Nora apologized again.
He had just filled a glass of wine for her and placed it in her hand. He thought she could probably use a drink. He knew he needed one. His was Tennessee Whiskey, straight up.
“I know, Nora, its okay,” he said, waiving off her apology.
He looked up and grinned at her.
“But please tell me that it was just the two of us. There are no other bed buddies competing for your affection that I need to know about, are there?” he teased.
Leo thought his humor would lighten the mood, but Nora didn’t seem to appreciate the joke at all. She didn’t even crack a smile.
“Sorry, too soon?” Leo mused lightly, trying to backtrack.
He wasn’t very good at conflict, and everything about this situation made him uncomfortable.
“Maybe a little,” Nora agreed, her expression softening.
She took a sip of wine, and set it back on the table, her hand shaking.
“Come here, sit closer to me,” Leo encouraged, holding his arm up so she could tuck underneath it.
She hesitated at first, but he gave her a look that suggested he’d come get her if he had to. She chuckled softly and snuggled a little closer to him.
“There, that’s better,” Leo soothed, kissing the top of her head.
He wasn’t always the best at navigating through emotional conversations with women, but he knew none of them could resist a good cuddle. He inhaled deeply, comforted by the familiar scent of her coconut shampoo. He sighed softly, grateful to have her all to himself. Nora sat quietly in his arms, head against his chest, for several minutes. He assumed she was deep in thought.
“So what happens next?” he asked, anxious to break the silence.
“I wish I knew,” Nora whispered into his chest. “I think a break is important, and then, I’m not sure.”
“For how long?” Leo pressed, hoping for a more clear-cut answer from her.
He hated being in limbo. Were they dating, or not? Was she breaking up with him? He could feel his agitation rising once more.
“I don’t know, Leo,” Nora admitted sadly.
She sat up and uncurled her body so she could look at him.
“I just need time to sort through all my feelings. I knew the time was coming even before everything that happened, but tonight just made things so much more complicated.”
“I can see that,” Leo agreed, in spite of the fact that he was still feeling anxious.
“The thing is, I was planning a trip to the east coast. I have some vacation time coming to me. I was going to visit the family, and stuff,” he continued, dropping a little bait, something for her to sink her teeth into, to prove to her that he had meant all the things he said to her.
He wanted to introduce her to his parents, and had planned on doing it down the road, but if a spontaneous visit tipped the scales in his favor.
“You should do that,” Nora urged hastily, before he added the part that he wanted to take her with him, as though she knew what he was leading up to.
She smiled at him warmly, nodding her head encouragingly.
“I think a visit with your family right now would do you a world of good, Leo.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugged, his words trailing off, unwilling to make himself appear any more vulnerable.
Maybe for now there was not much he could say, he thought.
“I should go,” she said hesitantly, leaning forward, so reluctantly that Leo thought maybe she didn’t want to leave.
He reached out and took her hand, pulling her towards him. He kissed her softly on the mouth, cradling her face in his hands. He didn’t want her to leave either. She accepted his kiss, moaning softly into his mouth. His tongue gently parted her lips, desperate to coax out her passion. He wanted her in that moment, more than he ever had before, as though her indecision bore a deep hole in his soul, excavating and exposing every lonely, desperate, needy part of him.
He leaned her back into the sofa, shifting his body over Nora’s, his mouth pressing passionately against hers, showing, in the best way he knew how, that he needed her, and that he could give her something that Coop never could. He trailed his fingers down her body, raising her skirt to expose her creamy, white thighs.
“Leo, I can’t,” she whimpered, sitting up and easing herself away from him.
He offered her a naughty grin, certain she was playing coy with him. He shook his head slowly back and forth, and wrapped his hand around the back of her head to ease her back into another kiss. She calmly laid her hand against his chest, stopping him.
“I won’t do this tonight,” Nora whispered, her eyes filled with regret. “I’m just way too unnerved right now.”
He knew she was vulnerable, but he wanted to leave her with little doubt about how much he needed her, that if she didn’t choose him he would be crushed.
“Nora, I,” he croaked, struggling to put his thoughts together.
There were so many unfamiliar feelings he couldn’t define.
“Don’t go. Stay with me tonight.”
“Oh, Leo, my beautiful Leo,” she cried, tears pooling in her eyes, “I can’t stay.”
She fell into his arms, sobbing silently, and holding onto him fiercely. Although she turned down his affection, her tears were validating. He didn’t like to see her cry, but they expressed to him that she had deep feelings for him, and the break she needed didn’t necessarily indicate a break up.
“I have to go,” she said, releasing her hold on him.
She wiped away her tears, stood up, and gathered her belongings. He watched while she took her phone out of her purse and texted for an Uber. Leo stood up and followed her to the door.
They waited together, sitting silently side by side on his porch steps, his arm draped loosely around her shoulders. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but he sensed that she couldn’t handle any more words. A few minutes later a black Sedan pulled up in front of the house, and Nora stood up to walk away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back, his eyes begging her for one last kiss. She smiled at him sweetly and kissed him goodbye.
“Ciao, Bella,” he whispered, as he watched her walk away.
CHAPTER 24
GAGE
“Thanks for meeting me, I wasn’t sure you would,” Leo smirked, kicking the chair out beside him so Gage could sit down.
“Why wouldn’t I come?” Gage questioned, taking a seat beside his old friend.
Leo shrugged and motioned for the waitress to come over. The truth was, Gage had been surprised to hear from Leo. He honestly didn’t think Leo would have much to say to him, but he received a text from him just a few short hours after he had left him alone with Nora, two nights ago.
Leo had seemed a little unhinged the last time he saw him and Gage had been concerned about his mental state ever since. When Leo called, he welcomed the idea for a chance to hang out and chat, mainly to see how his friend was handling everything, but also to clear the air between them. Although Leo had come a long way since they were teenagers, he still wasn’t sure how any of this would affect him. Leo typically avoided situations that required him to be vulnerable, hence the extensive list of loose women, friends with benefits, and empty affairs. It shocked the hell out of Gage when Leo had told him there was a woman he wanted him to meet. It was the first time since Leo and Corrine had split up.
The young waitress came over, a pretty red head with a curvy ass and a plunging neckline. She flirted with both of them, flaunting her cleavage in their eye line, sealing the promise of a big tip at the end of the night. Gage averted his eyes the best he could, not really in the mood for playful banter, but Leo’s teasing did not go unnoticed. As much as he loved his friend, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t piss him off.
“So, this is pretty fucked up, isn’t it?” Leo offered candidly, his eyes following the ass of the waitress all the way back to the bar.
Gage sat back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of him.
“You can say that again,” he agreed.
“I didn’t want to get into it with you the other night, not in front of Nora,” Leo continued, smiling sheepishly when he realized he had been caught leering at the server.
“I’m sure that was a wise choice,” Gage agreed, curious about Leo’s take on the situation.
It was obvious to Gage that Leo was uncomfortable. They both were.
“Did you know she was seeing someone else?” Leo asked, obviously putting out feelers.
Gage really didn’t want to discuss his and Nora’s relationship with Leo, but under the circumstances, what choice did he have?
“Yeah. We talked about keeping things casual, at least until the NHL season was over. She told me she was dating other people,” Gage explained, wondering where Leo was going.
“Did she say there was anything serious?” Leo asked tightly.
His smile was friendly but his eyes were not, Gage observed.
“No man, we didn’t talk about that,” Gage assured.
He sat forward, leaning his arms on the table in front of him, ignoring the sticky residue left after a half-assed job of wiping off the table with a dirty bar towel.
“Yeah, she was honest with me too,” Leo admitted, easing his tone, “about seeing other people. Truthfully, I didn’t think much of it. Up until a few weeks ago, I was unsure how I felt about things. I was happy to keep things casual, too.”
Both men sat back, as the waitress returned with their beers. She placed them down in front of them, immodestly leaning over so that Leo could enjoy the view. He took full advantage of it.
“What changed?” Gage asked, not sure he really wanted to know. “A few weeks ago?”
“I dunno man, I just started thinking about her more and more often, you know? Every time we were together I just felt more at home,” Leo said, pausing to take a drink of beer. “She just has this way about her. She makes me believe in love again. She makes me feel happy.”
If Leo had been talking about anyone else but Nora, Gage would have been thrilled for him. For years he had wanted his friend to meet someone that would help turn him around and give up his philandering ways. Leo rejected love because he didn’t think he deserved it, but the truth was, he was fucking terrified. Gage knew it would take a special women to crack through his armor, someone patient and decent. Someone like Nora. But he was fucking pissed at the godless bastard that put Nora in Leo’s path. He loved the man. They were bros. But Leo had the emotional intelligence of a baboon, and the attention span as well. Even if Nora wasn’t the woman Gage was crazy about, he would hate to see her with a guy like Leo.
“I think I love her, man,” Leo admitted, toasting his glass to the air, before taking a long swallow.
Gage looked away, hiding his expression from his friend so he wouldn’t reveal his cynicism, or his hurt.
After a thoughtful pause, Gage replied, “Well then, we do have a dilemma, don’t we?”
“Do we?” Leo asked, grinning passively.
Gage shook his head and chuckled, certain that Leo was goading him, pissing on his tree or something.
“It sure looks that way,” he offered flatly, standing his ground.
“Why is that?” Leo mused, trying to push his buttons.
Gage shrugged his shoulders, unfazed, “Because I know I’m in love with her, man.”
Leo sat back in his chair spreading his thighs, the way men do when they want to metaphorically compare dick sizes, to intimidate each other.
“So, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t think it’s up to us man,” Gage chirped, taking a swig of his beer.
Gage knew that Leo was playing him, hoping that he would back down. The truth was, Leo had always been the alpha male in their friendship, mostly because Gage knew it was more important to Leo than it was to him. He typically acceded to Leo on most issues, whether they were debating politics, deciding where to hang out on vacation, or even where the fuck to eat dinner. He let Leo win because it was just easier, not because he was weaker.
“So, just let Nora decide?” Leo grunted, curiously raising a brow.
Gage shook his head, smiling impatiently at his friend, “Of course let Nora decide. This is about what will make her happy. You and I already know what we want.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Leo questioned, his face unsuccessfully masking his discomfort.
“I trust her, man. She’s a beautiful, caring, intelligent woman. I know that she will make whatever choice is right for her, and if that’s you, Leo, then I’ll accept it. I won’t be fucking happy that she didn’t want me, but I’ll wish her the best, because that’s all I want for her,” Gage admitted, his thoughts drifting to the woman he loved.
“I guess,” Leo muttered, swallowing the last of his beer.
The waitress walked by and he smiled at her, gesturing for another two beers. Gage waved her off, declining one for himself. He had to be at the arena in a few hours. Tonight was the last game of the season, and it was a big one. He needed to be sharp.
“Nora and I are good together, Gage. I don’t know what you two have, but she gets me, you know? She has helped me work through a lot of my shit. Corrine fucking messed me up. I loved that woman and she just threw me away like yesterday’s garbage. I wasn’t going to ever let that happen again. I never intended to fall for Nora, just have some fun with her, you know? But she just kept surprising me, over and over again. She just makes me... better... like I want to try to be the kind of man that she deserves,” Leo shared, his words appearing soft and truthful.
Gage raised his eyes, assessing him, hoping for a ‘but’, like a, ’but I know I could never make her as happy as she deserves,’ or ‘but I’m not ready to settle down with her,’ but it never came. He had never heard his friend talk like that about anyone. When he had walked into the bar that afternoon he was prepared to fight for Nora, figuring he would uncover the truth that Leo was only using her, or duel to the death for her, but now, now he wasn’t sure.
Everything happened for a reason, didn’t it? Maybe Nora was meant to come into Leo’s life. Maybe he did need her. Seeing his friend happy was something that Gage had always hoped for. Leo was good shit, deep down, and if there was a woman that could draw that goodness to the surface, could he stand in the way?
The waitress came by and set Leo’s beer in front of him.
“Here you go, anything else I can do for you?” she purred, picking up his empty glass.
Leo looked up and winked at her.
“That’s all for now, Darlin.’ If I need anything else, I’ll come find you,” he flirted.
“At your service,” she teased, suggesting more than another cheap beer.
She sashayed away, leaving behind the scent of desperation and drug store perfume.
Leo looked at his friend and shrugged, as if to say, ‘what’s a guy to do.’ Gage wanted to overlook the flirtatious exchange and stay focused on the words Leo had just confessed, but it nagged at him. If Nora did choose Leo, would she be destined to a life with a man who’s eyes landed on every pretty skirt that walked by? Could he be faithful to her once the reality of monogamy set in?
“I hear you, Leo, I do. The thing is, I don’t need Nora to make me happy. I’m already happy and I want to share that with her. I love ya, man, you know that, and I don’t want to see you hurt. I have been there for you half my life and I know how hard it’s been for you to find the right woman. Nothing makes me happier than hearing you admit that you want to be the kind of man Nora deserves. But, buddy, I’m already that man, and make no mistake, I’m ready to step up and make that woman mine,” Gage offered confidently, his determined eyes urging his friend to challenge him.
Leo sat back, smirking at Gage, assessing his words as though carefully sizing him up. Gage didn’t flinch, instead he grinned back and waited to see what his friend would do. They sat that way for several minutes, like two Old West gun slingers, waiting to see who would draw first.
Finally Leo started to laugh, not in a nervous way, but in the way friends do when they know they’ve pushed the boundary of their friendship as far as it will stretch and suddenly realize the bond is unbreakable. It took a minute for Gage to recognize that Leo was standing down. Not giving up necessarily, just admitting that he’d met his match with Gage.
“Okay, so no matter what happens, regardless of who Nora chooses, we’re still brothers, right?” Leo asked warmly, his expression relaxing. “If she happens to choose me, we stay friends?”
Gage thought about it for a split second and nodded, “Of course. I love you man. I’ll bow out gracefully. And if she chooses me?”
Leo inhaled deeply, as though he hadn’t really considered than an option.
“I’m not gonna lie, I think it might kill me to see her with you, but I guess I will have to deal with it if it comes.”
Gage had a feeling his friend would be okay. He had built up a pretty thick skin over the years, and even though his coping skills were questionable, they were easily accessible.
“If she does choose you, don’t fuck it up man,” Gage warned.
His tone was humorous, but his words were not.
“I think it would kill me to see Nora hurt.”
Leo looked at him, and at first he seemed insulted, but his eyes quickly softened with understanding. He held out his hand in a gesture of friendship, sealing the contract between them. Gage accepted the gesture, and shook Leo’s hand, hoping the best man would win Nora’s heart.
“Listen, maybe we’ll regret this, but let me run something by you,” Leo enticed, a playful grin materializing on his lips.
CHAPTER 25
NORA
Nora searched frantically for her phone, anxiety racing through her blood. No matter where she looked, she couldn’t seem to find it. The incessant ringing calling out to her, tormenting her. Just as she was ready to give up looking, she found it, oddly right in her purse.
It was Leo calling her. As soon as she saw his name on the display her heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t heard from him in days, not even a text message. Both he and Gage seemed to be respecting her need for seclusion.
She had spent the weekend taking care of herself, and even though her vacation was starting on Monday, she took a personal day, feeling too unsettled from Leo’s party to face her Friday patients. She slept, read, cried, worked out, and whatever else struck her fancy in the moment. The only thing she didn’t do was talk, to anyone, not even her sister. She was hoping for an epiphany, a sign from the universe, like a giant cartoon mallet bouncing off her head. Anything to help her reach a conclusion about the two men she had fallen in love with.
Now she stared at the phone in her hand, waffling with indecision, uncertain if she should answer or not, yet aching to speak to him. Her thumb, hovering over the answer button, pressed down as if it had a mind of its own.
She said hello, her heart beating in her chest, both desiring and dreading his words at the same time. He told her that he missed her, that he needed to see her and asked her to come to his house. She told him that she couldn’t, that she wasn’t ready to see him, she still hadn’t made up her mind, and that it wasn’t fair to Gage. He told her Coop was there too, and that they both wanted to see her. He said they had been talking to one another and they thought they had a way to help her. He insisted she come by, that everything would make sense when she got there. So she agreed.
He met her at the door, smiling and content, as though he hadn’t a care in the world. He told her she looked beautiful, even though she knew it was a lie, because she was a hot mess and she knew it. He invited her in, taking her hand and leading her, step by step. The staircase seemed never-ending, and she had this sinking feeling that she was trying to reach a destination that she would never arrive at.
Gage was waiting for them, sitting on the couch. He looked just as relaxed as Leo did, confident, sexy, and dreamy. He stood up and greeted her with a gentle kiss on the cheek, respectful of Leo’s presence in the room. She was confused by the whole scene, and told them so. Leo assured her that everything was going to be okay. Tears welled up in her eyes, wishing he was right, but certain he wasn’t.
He told her to sit down, and handed her a drink. She gratefully did as he asked, sitting tentatively beside Gage. She tossed the bourbon back, taking great pleasure from the liquid amber burning down her throat. It brought her back to life a bit. He asked her if she wanted another, filling her shot glass before she could even answer him. She toasted her glass against the bottle and whispered bottoms up before taking the second hit. She knew it would make her tipsy, but she didn’t care, she craved liquid courage.
Leo laughed at her, taking her glass and setting it on the coffee table beside the bottle. He gently urged her to relax, then took the open space on the other side of her. The energy in-between her two men was palpable, curiously hot, and raised the goosebumps on her flesh. She asked them why they had brought her there. Leo told her that he and Gage were talking and realized that her decision wasn’t easy, and they wanted to find a way to make things simpler for her. She told them that she didn’t see what they could do, that she was crazy about both of them. She confessed that she was terrified that no matter what she decided, she would drive a wedge between the two of them.
They both laughed at her, like they found her words sweet and naive. She didn’t like that they seemed so nonchalant about something she had anguished over. It didn’t make sense.
Gage assured her that he and Leo were grown men and that even though one of them was going to walk away without her, they had a bond that could never be broken. She glanced from one to the other, looking for a sign, a hint of uncertainty, but there was none. Convinced by their sincerity, she asked them what they had in mind. The two men looked at each other knowingly, each of them waiting for the other to speak. Finally Leo offered her their idea.
We want to both make love to you, he told her, taking her hand in his. Gage reached for her other hand, to assure her that he was on the same page. Confused, Nora told them that she didn’t understand, how would making love to each of them one more time help her in the least? Gage chuckled softly, making her turn her head towards him. He kissed her ever so softly and whispered in her ear that she misunderstood, they wanted to be with her at the same time.
She felt her breath catch in her throat, both stunned by his proclamation, yet at the same time, erotically charged. She asked them if they had gone mad and they both laughed, agreeing that they probably had. She protested that a threesome could create a huge paradigm shift that they might never recover from, and that she could lose both of them. She asked them if they thought about how it would change the dynamics of their relationship with each other.
Leo was very convincing. He assured her that both he and Gage were intrigued by the idea, and while they had no interest in anything physical with each other, they were excited to share her. He cheekily told her she could think of the adventure as a sexual thunder-dome. Two men enter, one man leaves.
Nora was precariously holding on to the ledge by her finger tips, begging them to think things through, quickly losing her reasoning skills as her core temperature rose. Her moral compass was spinning in every direction, but came completely uncalibrated when Gage reminded her of her most desirable fantasy. She hadn’t forgotten, her brain had been teasing her the whole time, seducing her, playing the fantasy over and over in her mind. Making her wet.
She knew she shouldn’t do it, it was all so, so wrong, she had to get out of there before her body betrayed her. She stood up to leave, desperate for some air. Then she felt it, the bourbon that once burned in her throat, was now like molten lava between her legs, smoldering in her womb. Gage quickly left the sofa, pulling her into his arms. Held hostage by her desire, she could do nothing to get away, and allowed him to kiss her.
She wanted to protest, everything in her told her that nothing good would come from it and that when it was all over she could walk away with nothing. She had almost gathered her sensibilities when she felt Leo slip in behind her, grinding his erection against her backside and kissing her neck while Gage’s delicious mouth was still on her own. The sensation was sublime and intoxicating.
She let them lead her into Leo’s bedroom, dimly lit by candlelight, the bed already turned down as though they knew she would acquiesce to their crazy proposal. She turned to face Leo, her eyes pleading to be released from the seduction, but he wouldn’t have it. He took his turn kissing her, his lips crushing against hers, the stubble from his unshaven face stimulating the sensitive flesh around her mouth. It was a stark but intriguing contrast to the softness of Gage.
Leo turned her around, where her other lover was waiting for her. Gage unbuttoned her blouse, slowly peeling it away from her, revealing her silky white bra. His eyes, filled with curiosity and need, were reading hers, searching for her continued consent. Her smile was all the encouragement he needed, and as Leo unhooked her bra from behind, exposing her breasts for him, he knelt down, pulling her swollen pink nipples into his mouth. As Gage swirled his tongue around them, Leo kissed her neck and shoulders from behind. She shuddered with anticipation, aching with desire as both her lovers offered her sensation in different ways. Leo unzipped her skirt and slipped it over her hips, allowing it fall to the floor and pool around her ankles. She stepped out of it, kicking it away. Gage made his way back up her chest, kissing his way to her lips, his tongue teasing and playing with her own. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off her feet, carrying her to the bed.
Leo was already there, waiting for her. He encouraged her to lay back on the mattress, while Gage peeled down her panties. Leo shifted himself into position between her legs, groaning as he buried his face between her thighs. He was completely turned on and proved his hunger by greedily lapping at her pussy. Meanwhile, Gage had climbed on the bed beside her. Yanking his T-shirt over his head, he exposed his beautifully toned chest. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her fervently. She moaned into his mouth as Leo began sucking gently on her clit. She could feel Gage rubbing his erection through his jeans, turning her on with his eagerness.
Leo sucked and nibbled on her peach, and because he knew her body so well, he easily brought her to orgasm. Unable to control her passion she let out a deep and primal moan, grinding herself into his face as she peaked, her warm juices spicing his lips. He gradually crawled out from between her legs and curled up beside her, grinning from ear to ear.
Gage whispered how hot it was watching her cum while another man ate her pussy. His hand slid down her side and over her hip until he found what he was looking for. He rubbed her cunt with his open palm, up and down, spreading her wetness around. His fingers probed her hole and he plunged two of them deep inside. Leo lay lazily beside her, playing with her hair and watching as Gage pleasured her.
She cried out, her need churning in her womb. Encouraged by her response, Gage locked his lips to hers and began screwing her with his long fingers. She rocked against his hand, his kiss escalating her passion. With his thumb he began to massage her clit, begging her to cum for him. She adored it when he talked dirty to her and her body responded instantly. She had never felt so aroused, and her hips began to rock uncontrollably. He sped up just a little, matching her motions.
In her other ear, Leo whispered how sexy she looked, that he loved how unbridled she was, how nasty. His breath was hot against her cheek, but his words were steamier. She allowed Gage to work her cunt, and rewarded his efforts with an insanely intense orgasm, waves of pleasure rocking through her body. He told her how pleased he was, that he had never been so turned on. She sighed deeply and smiled at him, shocked that they had each made her cum in just a few short minutes.
Gage slid his fingers out of her, slow and deliberate, bringing them to his mouth and licking her cream off them, tasting her sweetness. Leo lay beside her, his clothed body warming her naked flesh. She adored having a man on either side of her, but felt they were both still over-dressed. She begged them both to take off the rest of their clothing.
Gage slipped off the bed and quickly pulled off his jeans and boxers, exposing his beautiful cock. She helped him back on the bed, begging him for a taste. He sat back against the head board while Nora crawled between his legs and rolled up on her knees, taking him deep into her mouth so she could expertly work his cock.
With her ass in the air, her bare pussy was exposed to Leo. He knelt behind her and slipped his hard cock into her, completely filling her. She growled her consent, her moans sending vibrating sensations through her other lover’s cock. Gage groaned back, indicating his pleasure. He placed his hands on either side of her head, guiding her mouth up and down on his shaft, moaning as the warm wetness of her mouth stimulated him.
Leo’s own passion must have been staggering, watching his friend fuck Nora’s mouth. He drove his cock in and out of her, spreading her open. She begged him not to stop, pushing her bottom into him each and every time he pulled back. She did her best to stay on Gage’s cock, she loved the taste of him and the way his beads of pre-cum coated her tongue. She tried not to bite down each time Leo slammed his cock into her.
Having both her lovers inside of her was even more exciting than she had imagined, and she could feel her entire body shaking as it braced for another climax. She pulled her mouth off Gage for fear of hurting him, and cried out as another orgasm ripped through her.
Nora opened her eyes to see Gage stroking his own swollen cock, drops of pre-cum soaking his hand. He told her she looked fucking beautiful when she came. With Leo still fucking her from behind, she replaced his hand with her own, and began stroking him. She expertly rubbed him off, knowing exactly how much pressure he needed and when she sensed he was ready to cum, she brought her face down, pulling his cock back into her mouth. His warm juices pumped down her throat while she swallowed every drop. He knit his fingers through her hair, moaning his approval.
The hot little scene must have sent Leo over the edge because he began fucking her with an intensity she had never felt from him before. He smacked her ass playfully, bruising her delicate flesh, an act he knew she enjoyed. She screamed out his name, rocking her body in time with his powerful rhythm, and that was enough. He pulled his throbbing cock out of her and pumped his hot jizz onto her ass.
They stayed that way for several minutes, Nora laying on Gage’s chest, his naked body beneath her, and Leo resting on top of her, his recovering cock twitching against her ass. Nora did her best to keep her struggling emotions at bay, not allowing insecurity and doubt to meander their way back into her thoughts. There was time enough for that later, she just wanted to close her eyes and enjoy the moment.
* * *
Nora woke up, alone, in her own bed, her hot skin moist with beads of sweat, strings of her hair glued to her face, slick with perspiration. It took her a few minutes to gather her senses, get her bearings straight. She was heavily aroused, her rigid clit ached between her legs, her lips swollen with desire. She tried to steady her shallow breaths, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dark.
She’d had erotic dreams before, but never anything so vivid and exciting as this. She could practically smell their after shave, taste the warm musk of Gage in her mouth, feel the sensation of Leo’s hands squeezing her bottom, see the shadows of her dream lovers in the corner, and hear their screams of passion in the stillness of her silent bedroom. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was an amazing dream, but would forever remain a fantasy. She couldn’t recall the whole thing, but it had shaken her to the very core, and even offered her some of the insight she had been reaching for.
She picked up her phone to check the time. It was 2:00 am, early Monday morning. She had spent the entire weekend alone, hiding from everything and everyone, but she couldn’t do that anymore. She had to pull herself together and suck it up. Life needed to go on.
She scrolled through her phone, opening her text messages. There was one from her sister, demanding that she touch base with her tomorrow or she was calling their mother for back up. Nora chuckled and sent her a quick message back.
I’m alive, well, and working it out. Don’t be a drama queen ;)
Both Gage and Leo had sent her a text as well. After a weekend of silence, topped with that erotic porn dream, she was actually excited to hear from both them.
Hey Baby, been thinking about you all day. Let me know when this damn break is over. Your bed is lonely without me. I’m off tomorrow if you want to call.
Nora chuckled, still blushing from the dream she just had. She was feeling rather lonely and kind of wished Leo was there right now, warming her bed and her bottom.
She opened Gage’s text. He had only written one sentence.
What can I do right now to bring a smile to your beautiful face?
She read his text again, and again. It made her smile.
* * *
Nora stood in the shower, letting the warm water cleanse her mind, body and spirit. Once she had fallen back to sleep, she slept well, deeply. For the first time in a long time she woke up rested and at peace.
As she was getting dressed she got a call from building security. There was a delivery for her waiting at the front desk. He offered to bring it to her and she invited him up. She met him at the door a few minutes later, and accepted a wrapped bouquet of flowers along with a small box tied with a red ribbon. They chatted for a few minutes, mainly building gossip and pleasantries, before he bid her goodbye.
She unwrapped the paper around the flowers to find a dozen red roses, and set them on the kitchen counter to fill a vase with water, thinking about the last time she had used it. Gage had brought her daisies, the night he took her to the food festival. It seemed so long ago now. Having found no card attached to the flowers she quickly retrieved the gift box that had come with her delivery.
Inside she found a note, on a sheet of plain white paper, typed instead of handwritten.
Let’s take a‘break’ in NYC.
A little business, then a lot of pleasure.
Gelato in Central Park.
Italian on the patio at Bar Pitti.
Jersey Boys on Broadway.
Martini’s at Monkey Bar.
Dessert between your legs...
Meet me at terminal 7, LAX tomorrow night at 8:00 pm. I booked
the red eye.
Leave your panties in your suitcase...we’ll join the mile high
club.
I love you. xo
Nora chuckled at the note, intrigued by the sentiment. The message wasn’t signed but it could only have come from one of two people. She was certain it was Leo. Hadn’t he mentioned that he was planning a trip to the east coast, to take a holiday and visit his family? Was this his way of proving how serious he was? Show her that he wanted more? His note said he loved her.
She looked back in the box, to see if the sender was revealed somewhere but only found the United Airlines plane ticket registered in her name. LAX to JFK, leaving at 10:10 pm the following night. That was it. She tore out all the tissue paper and shook it, just in case. Nora set the airline ticket on the counter, and pushed it away from her with her fingertips, not sure what to think. She stared at it from a distance, biting her bottom lip. What the fuck did it mean? There was only one person that could answer that question, and she had to see him.
Leo had told her that he was off work when he had texted her the night before so she decided to drive over to his place in person, and talk to him one on one. She had never shown up uninvited before, but she didn’t think someone who would surprise her with such an extravagant gesture would mind an unannounced visit. When she arrived she was relieved to see his car parked out front, in spite of the fact that she was nervous to see him. She was touched that he reached out to her in such a romantic way, but she needed to know exactly how he felt, right from the Italian Stallion’s mouth.
It took him a few minutes to answer, but by the third ring of the doorbell, he finally opened up. He seemed surprised to see her, greeting her in just a towel.
“Hi,” Nora blushed, suddenly recalling the naughty dream she had the night before.
“Hey, this is a surprise,” he said softly, running his fingers through his wet hair. He looked at her curiously and smiled.
“Well you’re full of surprises too,” she scolded, holding up the plane ticket. He looked at the paper in her hand and shrugged, a nervous smile on his face. “Will you invite me in?”
Leo shifted anxiously from one foot to the other.
“Actually, I was just getting ready to go to work, I’m running late. Can I come by your place later?” he asked, looking at his watch.
“I thought you had today off?” Nora asked hesitantly.
His body language made her nervous, causing her to thoroughly second guess her unannounced visit. Was something upsetting him?
“Um, yeah I did, but they needed me to come in, some sort of drill they wanted me to supervise,” he stammered, looking at the ground.
Nora was a pro at reading people, she did it every day, and Leo was lying. She was about to call him out on it when she heard someone call his name from inside the house. A woman. He glanced up and met her eyes, looking like a boy that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Nora’s mouth dropped open in surprise, all the right questions on the tip of her tongue. Who? What? Why?
They stared at one another for several seconds, neither of them speaking. Finally Nora smiled at him, her eyes filled with pity, and handed him the plane ticket. She turned and walked away, without saying another word.
CHAPTER 26
LEO
“Nora, it’s me, let me come up and talk to you,” Leo begged.
He had just finished working a long day shift and was in her lobby, pleading quietly into the intercom. He had prepared an apologetic speech just in case she told him to fuck off. She surprised him though, by buzzing him in, without so much as a word.
He knew he had hurt her the day before. He just stood in front of her like a fucking moron, knowing full well that she knew he was lying to her. He wanted to invite her in, more than anything, but he had shared his bed with the cute little waitress he had met the day before and she was in his frigging shower! He didn’t blame Nora one bit for walking away, but he didn’t want their relationship to end that way. He owed her an explanation.
She opened the door for him, expressionless, then walked away, expecting him to follow. He closed the door behind him and meandered slowly down the hallway. He found her sitting back down at her dining room table, her laptop open in front of her.
“Have a seat,” she offered, her face unreadable. Leo sat down on the bench beside her, and waited for her to speak, unsure where to begin.
“Why did you come?” she asked politely, closing the computer with a gentle thud.
“I thought I should explain myself, and apologize for yesterday,” he began.
He looked around anxiously, trying to summon the words that would make everything okay. She looked at him kindly, which made him feel even worse.
“Jesus, Nora, I don’t know what to tell you. I spent the entire night sick about what happened. I never wanted to hurt you,” he insisted, holding his hand out for her.
She looked down at it but didn’t accept it, so he placed it awkwardly back on his thigh.
“I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, trying to figure out what my problem is. I have been running from intimacy for so long, Nora, I’m so fucking tired. I just want to be with a woman who loves me. I honestly felt I was ready for that, that I finally found her. I love you Nora,” he confessed genuinely, his eyes filled with remorse.
“Don’t say that Leo, you know it’s not true,” Nora protested, her tone permeated with doubt.
“I want it to be true. I tried to make it true,” he insisted, this time just taking her hand in his without waiting for permission. “You deserve a guy that will give his whole heart to you, without question.”
Nora nodded her head as though she truly believed that he was being sincere.
“I’m going to be honest with you. I wish I could be a Jimmy Stewart, Nora, I really do, but it’s just not me. I’m not a sentimental guy, I don’t think I can ever change that,” Leo admitted.
He looked down and caressed her hand, memorizing every crease, freckle and line, knowing he might never hold it again.
“You don’t have to change, Leo,” Nora objected sweetly, her tone softening. “Not for me.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, as though avoiding the sad, inevitable conclusion that faced them.
Nora inhaled, slowly and thoughtfully.
“I have to be honest with you too. Yesterday, when I received the delivery, as I was unwrapping the flowers and the gift, the entire time I was hoping they were from Gage,” she confessed, her eyes pleading with him to understand.
He nodded at her, allowing her words to sink in, then slowly released her hand and sat back in his chair.
“What confused me the most though, is how you could spend the night with another woman when you had just picked out flowers for me and bought me a plane ticket. You wrote in your note that you loved me.”
“About that,” Leo grinned, pulling the ticket out of his pocket, “this isn’t from me.”
Nora looked at him curiously, as though quickly trying to process his words. She leaned forward and snatched the ticket from his hand, a grateful smile on her face.
“Oh my god!” she gushed, shaking the ticket in front of him in a gesture of disbelief. “I was coming to see you yesterday to give you back this plane ticket. I came over because I knew I had to say goodbye.”
She reached for his hand again.
“I fucking adore you, Leo! I probably always will and I don’t have any regrets, not a single one. You lit up my life and made me excited to dance again, but it’s Gage who has my heart. I love him,” she whispered.
Leo was not surprised. Coop was a good guy, maybe one of the best. She deserved him. They deserved each other, and he knew it. He nodded at her, silently offering her his blessing. She pulled him gently into an embrace, kissing him on the cheek. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing the moment to seal itself in his memory. He could never regret being with Nora either. She taught him how to open his heart again, and even though he wasn’t ready today, he would be ready someday.
“I have to go!” Nora blurted, peeling herself out of Leo’s arms.
“What time is it?” Leo chuckled and looked at his watch, “You have lots of time, it’s only six-thirty.”
“I have to pack, and call the car service, and stop at the bank, and shit! I have to call my sister,” Nora fretted, pushing her chair back.
“Relax, I will drive you to the airport. Just go do what you need to do,” Leo offered politely.
He may not be Prince Charming, he thought, but he could still do something to ensure a fairytale ending.
They pulled into the airport, only thirty minutes late. Nevertheless, Nora was anxious and fidgeted nervously in the passenger seat. Leo looked over at her and grinned, easing the car into an empty space in the unloading zone.
“Go get your man, baby,” Leo teased, “and remember, he’s going to need consoling after not making the play-offs. I’d do it myself, but he would probably prefer pity sex from you.”
Nora giggled, hugging him tightly.
“Thank you, Leo, this means a lot to me, that you’re being so good about all of this. I honestly hope we all stay friends, that you and Gage will be okay. You will won’t you?”
“Of course we will, in fact the other day we enjoyed a beer together, hashed out our shit. I made a promise to him that if you picked me, he would still be my best man, and that I would do the same for him. I ran it by him just before he left for his game and he was completely on board. I’m not going anywhere. We’re cool,” Leo assured, caressing her cheek with his hand.
A security guard knocked on Nora’s window, gesturing for them to hurry it along. Nora opened the car door and stepped out, meeting Leo at the trunk where he helped her unload her suitcase.
“Goodbye, Leo.”
Nora touched him softly on the face, and pulled him in for a kiss. It was tender, sweet, and final. Like closing the last page of a book, and completing the story of them.
CHAPTER 27
NORA
Nora’s eyes searched through the crowd at the United Airlines counter, desperate to find Gage. He was a tall and striking man so he would stand out, but she couldn’t find him. She searched through her purse for her cell phone to text him, but couldn’t find it. She set it down and checked again more thoroughly, but it still wasn’t fucking there!
She walked around the terminal for a few more minutes, hoping he might see her and call out to her, but he was nowhere to be found. The thought crossed her mind that maybe he had left when he thought she might not be coming, but decided to dismiss the thought as fast as it came. If he had gone home, she would never know unless she checked in for the flight and searched at the gate.
Nora waited in line to check her suitcase, which took forever, then slowly navigated through security. The airport was utter chaos, the line-ups unbearable, and she knew she was pushing the clock. As she was finally leaving the security point, she heard them announce the first boarding call for her flight, inviting business class and passengers with small children to board. No mention of frantic women meeting their lovers. She still had time!
She knew she only had a few minutes to reach the plane and started running, frustrated that they were taking off from the furthest gate in the terminal.
She anxiously skirted through hundreds of tourists and grumpy travelers, nearly tripping over a young toddler dragging a ‘Despicable Me’ suitcase that looked like a minion, but she finally arrived at the gate, just in time, perspiration soaking through her blouse and running down her thighs.
Passengers were still lined up, but Gage was nowhere to be seen. She couldn’t hide her disappointment. There was still a small chance that he had already boarded the plane, but she hoped he would have been there to greet her, and set her mind at ease.
She walked to the end of the line and followed the passengers forward as they shuffled towards the attendants. She wondered what the hell she would do if Gage wasn’t on the plane. Would they let her off the aircraft once she boarded? Would she have fly to New York alone, waiting five or six hours to call him? Fuck, she thought miserably, she didn’t even have his fucking phone number memorized!
“Excuse me, miss, but are you wearing panties under that skirt?”
She smiled widely when she heard that voice, and all her stress melted away. She turned around and fell into Gage’s arms, kissing him passionately.
He pulled back and stared at her, his feelings completely transparent, an expression of joy mixed with utter relief. She giggled and kissed him again.
“I was starting to think you might not come,” Gage admitted, pulling her under his arm as they got back in line.
“Well, you didn’t make it easy. Why didn’t you just sign your damn note?” Nora scolded playfully, staring up at him in mock frustration.
“What do you mean? I thought you would know it was from me. I told you I was going to New York to meet my agent after the final game of the season. To talk about my retirement,” he chimed in, stopping when he noticed her shaking her head. “No? I didn’t mention that?”
He released a good natured belly-laugh, pulling her closer. She returned his laughter with a quiet chuckle of her own, the misunderstanding suddenly irrelevant.
“Tell me later?” he inquired cautiously, no doubt concerned about Leo.
“Yes,” she nodded, patting the hand he had draped around her shoulder.
“He’s okay, everything is okay,” she assured, understanding that Gage needed to hear the words.
“Perfect,” he breathed, kissing the top of her head. “Now about those panties.”
“Uh-huh,” Nora admitted, looking up at him seductively, her heart bursting with love for him, “ready to fly the friendly skies with you, sir.”
“God, I love you,” he gushed, leaning down for another smooch.
“I love you, too,” Nora whispered softly against his lips, just before accepting his kiss.
EPILOGUE
“He’s beautiful,” Leo whispered, trying not to wake the baby in his arms.
Nora looked up and smiled at him sweetly from her hospital bed, enjoying the tender moment.
“What’s his name?”
“Caleb Leonardo Cooper,” Gage offered proudly, gazing at his new son in Leo’s arms.
“No shit, really?” Leo gushed quietly, smiling back and forth between Nora, Gage and Dana.
“Yeah, buddy, do you like it?” Gage asked, slipping his wife’s hand in his own.
Leo nodded, “Yes, it suits him! Maybe when he grows up he will be just like me. I’ll teach you everything Zio Leo knows about the ladies. Yes, I will,” he babbled, talking baby talk to the bundle of joy in his arms.
“Oh, hell no!” Nora teased, holding out her arms for the baby. “Give me my son before you corrupt him,” she laughed.
“No, give him to me,” Dana insisted, stepping around Gage. “It’s Auntie Dana’s turn!”
Leo gently passed the baby to her, but not before kissing his forehead tenderly.
“When do you think you’ll be on your feet again?” Leo asked Nora curiously, an impish smile on his face. “Like ready to party?”
Nora rolled her eyes and chuckled, shaking her head at Leo.
“Not sure we’ll be partying much now that the wee lad is here,” Gage advised, sitting on the bed beside Nora.
“Not even if it’s to dance at my wedding?” Leo asked suggestively.
“What!” Nora exclaimed loudly, momentarily forgetting her sleeping child. “You asked Lori to marry you?”
“Congratulations, Bro!” Gage stood up, shaking his friend’s hand, genuinely happy for him.
“I sure did! We’re tying the knot the Saturday before Christmas,” Leo explained, looking at Nora with a wide grin.
She couldn’t have been happier for him. Lori was an absolute gem.
“That’s awesome, Leo. You’re a lucky man!” Dana congratulated, rocking baby Caleb gently in her arms. “Lori is perfect for you!”
“Without a doubt,” Leo agreed. “Do you think you and Sam can fly back from New York for the wedding?”
“Actually,” Dana said, keeping her voice hushed for the baby, “I have news of my own.”
“What is it?” Nora asked, looking curiously at her sister, and hoping it was the good news she wanted to hear.
“We’re moving back this way permanently. I’m expecting Caleb’s cousin in six and a half months,” Dana blushed, meeting her sister’s eyes.
“For real?” Nora cheered, holding her arms out towards her twin.
The sisters hugged each other tightly, mindful not to squish the baby.
Leo pulled Gage to the side, and gave him a hug, a genuine, heartfelt bro to bro embrace.
“I’m happy for you, man,” Gage offered, holding his friend close. “I love ya.”
“I know, me too,” Leo agreed, chuckling softly. “Be my best man?”
“You know it.” Gage assured, catching his wife’s eyes over Leo’s shoulder, his heart swelling with pride.
Nora smiled back at him, her eyes brimming with tears. Things were unfolding just as they were meant to, and she was a sucker for a happy ending.